The Boys of Summer
by Tiggerz16
Summary: For some, that summer was about just making it through. For others, it was a chance to shine. Little did Roxas know that taking a job at the local Minor League Baseball stadium would change his life.
1. Take Me Out To The Ball Game

**Chapter 1- Take Me Out To the Ball Game**

The day started out like any other. I pressed the snooze button on my alarm at least 10 times before finally finding the will to roll out of bed. I rummaged around in the closet for my uniform— a hideous, bright orange shirt, matching cap, and khaki pants - and deliberately skipped breakfast, knowing my stomach couldn't handle food before what was sure to be a nauseating day.

I didn't have a ride, seeing as my brother had taken a rare day off and I could hardly afford bus fare, let alone a car of my own. Sure, I could have tried hitting my best friend, Hayner, up for a lift, or maybe Pence since he was the more reliable of the two, but we hadn't really spoken since the beginning of the summer. And I wanted to stall any potentially awkward phone calls for as long as possible. The only option left was to catch the bus, and I despised busses. They were always so full of people and noise and everything I tried my best to avoid.

Despite everything, even my best judgment, I was waiting at the stop when the bus pulled up at eight o'clock and sat the whole way right next to some guy who kept peering over his shoulder, mumbling to himself. I was brought within a block of the baseball field and had to walk the rest of the way. Being early, like I usually was on most days, I took my good old time traversing the eerily quiet streets of Twilight Town.

When I finally arrived at the stadium, I was still about twenty-five minutes ahead of schedule - something I'd experienced more than I would have liked and was usually thanks to my brother, who had an insatiable need to be the first person to arrive anywhere. Knowing that there was some time left before the chaos started, I hopped over the counter of the concession stand, sat on the stool I had claimed as my own and leaned back against the cold, cement wall.

That was pretty much the exact schedule I had followed for the past month and a half - give or take the presence of my older brother. Nothing changed, nothing was ever any different. Not that I was complaining. I actually liked the monotony of my days, of my life. The only thing I didn't particularly care for was the job itself. The only reason I had it was because my brother and I needed work for the summer. Well, _I_ needed the work, seeing as managing money, or even acquiring it, had always been a problem of mine- hence the reason why I didn't have a car. My brother, on the other hand and much to my disgust, actually enjoyed the job.

Finding work in Twilight Town, as small and almost barren as the city felt sometimes, wasn't as easy as it sounded, and my brother and I wound up having to ask our father for help. That was my first mistake.

Of course, being the problem solver of the family, my dad had a solution. But it was hardly the one I'd been looking for. His old buddy from college was the owner of the Minor League baseball stadium in the center of town, and the guy was more than willing to let his old friend's two sons work there, much to my dismay. Despite my desperate need for a job of any sort, a baseball stadium was hardly the place I'd pictured myself tolerating for the whole summer. I wound up agreeing to it only because I needed the money, dammit. And working there, though I would never admit it, sounded at least a little more interesting than cleaning tables or bagging groceries at the supermarket. And If I'm being totally honest, it sounded almost…fun.

Wrong.

I was so wrong.

Most of my days were spent in the tiny little space of the concession stand. Small, but just big enough to fit four people behind the counter. Albeit, not very comfortably. My back was always towards the sweltering heat of the kitchen, face towards the demanding customers. The small TV set just above my head was probably the only thing that kept me sane. It only showed the baseball game that was happening just out of my view, but I was thankful for it nonetheless. If not for that TV, I would have been forced to suffer through my co-workers' constant babbling and giggling.

After sitting on that stool for what felt like an eternity and almost falling to the floor twice because I could scarcely keep my eyes open, I heard two of my fellow co-workers enter through the side door. Their voices were loud, as usual, and it was quite obvious that they didn't care who heard them. Not that there was anyone in the stadium to hear them just yet. I watched out of the corner of my eye as the door swung closed and caught a glance of the small blond, raising a hand to her mouth to try and stifle a chuckle she apparently couldn't control. The two girls barely noticed me sitting there. Or maybe they did, but I figured they were so used to my silent brooding in the corner that I just blended in with the scenery.

Finally, after one last little snicker, Naminé turned to face me. "Good morning, Roxas." A bright smile lit up her face as she placed the cap on top of her head and adjusted it just right. She stared at me for a few seconds, blinking and waiting for a response.

Naminé was a petite girl with platinum blonde hair that shined even in the dull overhead lights. It matched her porcelain skin and set off her huge, blue eyes, giving her a bit of an ethereal look and making her the closest thing to an angel I was sure I'd ever see. Even though I was annoyed by pretty much every single aspect of my job, Naminé was the one exception. It's not like I was especially close to her or anything, but I suppose I liked her enough. She had a big heart and was the type of girl who would capture bugs in her house and set them free outside, the kind who would make sandwiches to feed the squirrels in the park. There were times, though, when I thought she was too nice and maybe a little too perky.

Eventually, I grunted in response, not even bothering to remove my head from my hand or glance her way. She wasn't bothered, and I'd come to the realization that nothing ever seemed to upset Naminé. She was as positive and optimistic as they come, letting everything go in favor of seeing the happier side of things. The girl didn't acknowledge my lack of a legitimate response and just continued setting things up for the rush of customers we would soon be getting.

"Where's Sora." Kairi finally decided to make her presence known. I tilted my head to see her scanning the small area frantically, her red hair whipping through the air and almost hitting Naminé in the face a few times. During the process of acting like a spazz, she dropped the box of plastic spoons in her hands and bent down to pick them up, cursing to herself.

I rolled my eyes. Kairi'd had a pathetic, desperate crush on my brother, Sora, for as long as I could remember. It was bad enough that she got into the same school as him and followed him back home to Twilight Town every summer, but securing a position at the same work place as him—by drastic measures, I'm sure — was bordering on a whole new level of crazy.

Kairi was a strange girl. That much I knew for damn sure. She was tough as nails, fearless even, and would do or say just about anything on her mind without fear of consequence. She could be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare, depending on the day you caught her on. And yet, despite all that, she was also pretty damn spastic and, quite frankly, a bit nuts. I would always tell my brother that the girl wasn't playing with a full deck of cards, but Sora would just deny it and say that it was part of her charm. One might have though that he defended her so passionately because he liked her, and even though that was a scary, terrifying thought that might have very well been true, for my own sanity and as to not test my gag reflexes, I liked to assume that it was because my brother was just erring on the side of caution. You didn't cross Kairi, not unless you wanted to experience her crazy first hand. And no one ever wanted to.

Sora was a bit on the childish side, and it surprised many people that he was the older of the two of us. He was twenty-one but acted more like fourteen. A lot of things went over his head, but that's not to say he was stupid or anything. He was just innocent, and that endeared him to people. Unlike me. Where Sora was friendly and open to everyone who bothered to so much as look at him in a kind way, I could be a downright bastard, even to people I didn't know. Especially to people I didn't know.

Sora had a lot of things going for him that I somehow lacked. Besides opening himself up to people, finding friends anywhere he went and making his way through life with the greatest of ease, he also had the better genes out of the two of us. You could obviously tell that we were related, but I think our differences far outweighed the similarities. Sora had perfect, cinnamon-colored spikes that always seemed to do exactly what they were supposed to. My blonde hair stuck up in one spot no matter what I did and always made me look like I just rolled out of bed. We both had the same blue eyes, but for some reason, mine never looked as bright and inviting as his. Sora was also the smart one in my family. He got into one of the best colleges in the country —Hallow Bastion University—on a full scholarship. With my grades, the only place I could get into was Twilight Town Community College. I would never, ever admit it out loud, but I was a little jealous.

"He's not here," I replied to Kairi's question as vaguely as possible. "He got the day off." I didn't even bother to wait for her reaction because, to be honest, I could not have cared less. I'd witnessed enough of her dramatics to last a lifetime.

"The lucky bastard." A deep voice sounded out from the kitchen.

I didn't even have to turn around to know that it was Xigbar, one of the cooks and a retired chef — or at least that was his most consistent story. It was pretty obvious, though, that the huge scar covering the left side of his face and eye-patch on the other had something to do with his mysterious past – a past that had been a pretty popular subject amongst those of us who worked up in the front. Well, those of us who actually cared, which ruled me out completely.

Following right behind Xigbar was Xaldin; a large and intimidating man with dreadlocks who hardly ever uttered a word. In fact, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you what his voice sounded like. No one besides Xigbar really bothered to try and speak with him either, probably out of fear. After first meeting him, Kairi —in true Kairi form — asked why he didn't shave his ginormous sideburns off because they were just too hideous to look at every day. The glare sent her way was enough to make someone even as batshit crazy as she was shut up and get away as fast as possible. It was best that Xaldin worked back in the kitchen because I was sure he would scare away the customers. Not that that was such a bad idea…

Moments later, a large tiger approached the concession stand, all hunched over and looking about two seconds from death. It just so happened that the baseball team that played in the stadium was called the Tigers. So the Tiger holding onto the counter for dear life was, in fact, a mascot. The way no one reacted, you'd have thought it was an everyday occurrence. And it pretty much was, but even if it hadn't been, my reaction would have stayed exactly the same.

I glanced over at the sad, pitiful excuse for a tiger. The head of the costume really was far too big for the body of the man inside, and the once bright orange color had faded quite drastically, thanks to the bright sun that beat down on the thing every afternoon. I was positive they'd been using that exact same costume since the place first opened.

"Bad day?" Naminé reached out to run her hands across the coarse material, like it would actually do anything to soothe the person inside. A muffled groan was all that sounded out in response.

"Bad day?" Kairi scoffed, placing the spoons into a canister and setting it on the counter. No one had even bothered to wipe the things off, let alone wash them, and I almost felt bad for our potential customers. Almost. "The day hasn't even started yet, so you better suck it up, Zexion," she said, before rearranging a couple spoons and folding her hands on top of the counter.

She turned to give her full attention to the mascot, but her eyes slowly wandered back towards the container she'd just set down. Then her hand crept over, and she arranged the spoons again, quietly, before looking back to the front. No one seemed to notice, except me. Kairi always claimed that the things she did were because she wanted everything to be _'aesthetically pleasing for the customers'_, but I figured it was just more proof that she was off her rocker. Or that she had OCD. But I liked to assume the worst in people.

The mascot head was lifted off to reveal a man with lavender hair. He looked like a complete mess, and that really is the nicest thing I could say. His uneven hair was matted and most of it stuck to his face as beads of sweat dripped down his neck. "It's hot…as hell in this…thing," he barely breathed out. "I_ need_ water."

Zexion was generally a quiet person who kept to himself a lot. But that's not to say he was a loner. Quite the opposite, actually. Everyone at the stadium loved him, and that's not even including the adoring fans. He didn't really talk a lot, but that only enhanced the fact that he was an incredible listener, and when he did actually open his mouth to speak, most people stopped what they were doing to listen. Despite him running around day in and day out in a tiger costume, Zexion was one of the most intelligent people I'd ever met, rivaling even Sora. On his breaks, he was almost always spotted with a book in hand, including times when he came to visit us at the concession stand.

"I honestly don't know why you decided to become a mascot in the first place if you can't handle it." Kairi waved a spoon in Zexion's general direction, and then found another place for it in the container.

"I _need_ the money," he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. By that time, Naminé had filled his request and slid the glass of water over to him. Zexion immediately lifted it to his lips and began gulping it down.

"Welcome to the club." I broke my long lasting silence to join in on a conversation that actually meant something to me. If there was one thing I knew it about, it was the need for money and the willingness to do just about anything to get it. I think my presence behind the small stand proved that. "But some people are here because they actually _like_ it." I cast a glance Kairi's way, only to find her messing around with the spoons again.

I turned my attention back to the front when I heard a choking sound. Zexion stared at me wide-eyed for a few moments before swallowing the water still in his mouth. "Whoa, Roxas, I totally forgot you were he—"

Unfortunately, before he got to finish his sentence, and before I had the chance to come back with a retort of any kind, he was slammed into by an orange and black blur that appeared out of nowhere. Zexion went flying to the floor almost immediately, as did the head of his costume, the cup he was holding onto and the last of the water in said cup, which landed directly on the mascot's head.

When all movement stopped, it was easy to see that the blur was actually just an over-excited man. "Are you guys ready for another fun-filled day of baseball?" The guy, dressed in a shirt identical to the one I was wearing, pumped his fist in the air and twirled around.

"A little help here, Demyx." The voice came from down below the counter where I couldn't see. Without missing a beat or even bothering to look, Demyx reached down and pulled Zexion to his feet. "Well, are you?" he asked us again.

"Sure," Naminé smiled softly while running a cloth over the counter. It was a good thing she spoke up, too, or else Demyx probably wouldn't have received a reply at all.

"The Tigers are gonna win today." He spun around again. "I can feel it in my bones." At that, I rolled my eyes for probably the hundredth time, and the work day hadn't even technically started yet. "Aren't you guys excited?"

Demyx worked up at the front of the stadium in the ticket booth, and when everyone had been admitted entrance, he was free to wander around the stadium, helping any fans with whatever they may need. It was the perfect job for him because if nothing else, he was a definite people person. He was talkative to a fault and hyper as any five year old child who'd just eaten all of their Halloween candy and washed it down with a bag of sugar. I was never sure what he was trying to accomplish with his mohawk/mullet hairstyle, but I was sure that it wasn't working.

"We don't even get to experience the game from in here," I said, hopping off my stool. "And what we do back here is in no way exciting."

"It's not that bad." Kairi was back to touching the damn spoons again. "Sometimes we have fun." I knew damn well that the girl only liked the job because of my brother, but I stopped caring about the conversation once it ceased to have anything to do with me, so I just kept my mouth shut.

"Demyx, how about you and tiger boy get going," Xigbar shouted so he could be heard from the kitchen, causing Zexion to scowl. "The stadium is about to open, and we actually have important stuff to do."

"Hey!" Zexion pointed toward the kitchen, where Xigbar was barely visible, and narrowed his eyes. "I'd like to see you walking around in the ninety degree weather in this…" He bent down momentarily, rising back up with the costume head in his hands and slammed it on top of the counter. "This thing."

It was silent for about a second before the laughter broke out. I'll admit that even I let out a few chuckles. A small man wearing a decrepit tiger costume was hardly intimidating.

Without another word, Demyx grabbed Zexion's arm, and the latter let out an uncharacteristic yelp. With a salute towards the concession, Demyx ran off, dragging his friend behind him despite various protests.

"They are so cute together," Naminé said casually, like it was absolutely nothing of significance. She threw my hat over to me, but I was so stunned by her words that it just hit my chest and fell to the floor.

"What?"

"Oh, honey," Kairi stepped over, placing a hand on my shoulder. I couldn't even find it in myself to get annoyed at her condescending tone. "How blind can you be?"

I pushed her hand away, and she gave me a look full of pity before moving away. "I'm not blind," I defended. "I just—Demyx and Zexion…what?"

"Ain't he cute?" Xigbar laughed, peering over one of the stoves as he stuck something in the oven. "Almost as clueless as that brother of his. I frowned at the comparison but didn't say anything.

"It's obvious that Demyx is smitten with Zexion," Naminé said, picking my hat up from the floor and placing it in my hands. "I'm sure you would have noticed it if you actually bothered to pay attention." She tilted her head slightly and smiled at me before turning around to say something to Kairi. I tuned them out as I usually did.

Naminé was right; I hardly paid attention to anything that didn't directly concern me, and more often than not, I was sulking somewhere on the sidelines. And though she put it in much nicer terms, the message came through loud and clear: I was a self-centered asshole.

* * *

"Six dollars for a large soda?"

"What do you mean you're out of nachos?"

"Three cheeseburgers and two orders of fries, Xigbar, please!"

The chaos had begun, just like I knew it would, and the rather large woman standing on the other side of the counter, screaming in my face, wasn't helping my already sour mood.

"Look, ma'am," I said as politely as possible, though I'm sure my fake smile was starting to wane. "I don't make up with the prices, I just sell the stuff."

"Well, this is ridiculous. What kind of business are you people running?" She threw her arms in the air.

"I'm not running the business, ma'am, I'm just selling the food. How about you talk to the manager?"

"I suggest you fix your prices because this is bullshit!" She slammed her fists on the counter. People were starting to stare, and I was about to lose my patience.

"Ma'am," I tried again, willing myself with everything I had to just stay calm.

"First, you people charge an arm and a leg to get in this place, and then you rip us off some more with the price of food."

I took a deep breath. All I wanted to do was lean over the counter and give the crazy woman a piece of my mind. And for a moment, I considered actually doing it. Sure, I'd probably lose my job, but was it really worth enduring such torture anyways? At that exact moment, the moment in which I'd pretty much decided to screw it all and just let my anger take control, Kairi pushed me to the side.

"Lady," she said, without the smile on her face that we were supposed to use at all times. "We don't control the food prices, and we don't want to hear your life story!" The woman stared back, wide-eyed, and Kairi just kept on talking. "If you really want to keep on complaining and causing a scene, then do it somewhere else, preferably with the guy who runs this place because we have other customers to get to, and you're in the way!"

The woman stood in place, looking very much like she'd just been slapped across the face, and when she opened her mouth to speak, it only resulted in some sort of frustrated cry. She then spun on her heels and practically sprinted down the hall. The customers standing around began clapping, and Kairi bowed graciously. For once, I was actually glad she was around.

After that, time passed slowly, and as it got deeper into the game, the crowd began to thin out, leaving only a few customers here and there. It was one of the very rare quiet times we had during the day, and we were all just sitting around watching the TV in the corner. The game was entering the late innings, and the Tigers were already down by five.

I wasn't an avid baseball fan. Actually, I wasn't really a fan at all. Yea, there had been a few times in the past when I sat down with Sora and my dad to watch a game, but I always busied myself with something else while they had their eyes glued to the television set. I knew a few basics of the game, but when it came to things like balks and passed balls, I was as clueless as they come. Needless to say, baseball was not my choice of entertainment. Although, I have to say, over the month I'd been working at the stadium, I found myself enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. And compared to hordes of annoying customers, it was pretty damn interesting.

"Yes, strike three!" Naminé jumped and clapped her hands together. "He is _such _a good pitcher."

Kairi just laughed, leaning back against the wall and crossing her arms. "You're obviously in love with him." She smirked, and Naminé's cheeks flushed as she turned her head.

"Am not!"

"If you say so…"

They were talking about Marluxia; number 11. He was the best pitcher on the Tigers, which wasn't saying much. He was ok compared to others, but the way Naminé went on and on about him, you'd have thought he was another Cy Young. No matter how much she denied it, everyone could see that she had a hopeless crush on him. Hopeless because she'd never even spoken one word to the man. Never had the chance to, really. Despite slaving away, 7 hours a day for an entire month in that hot, stuffy stand, we'd never had the pleasure of meeting any of the baseball players. Not that meeting any of the team would have been that much of a thrill, at least to me. Still, it was the principle of the thing.

"Axel's coming up," Kairi commented, eyes not leaving the screen. "He needs to get a damn hit. He's zero for three today."

"That guy is useless with a bat," Xigbar said, voice raised slightly, as to be heard over the noise. "I don't know why he even bothers to try."

Kairi began stacking the napkins in a different place on the counter, her silly habits apparently enough to break the trance the game had put her in. "I'd like to see you get out there and play, Xiggy."

"Don't ever call me that again," he said, voice almost a growl. Xigbar was a pretty amiable guy, most of the time. Ok, so maybe he could be a bit hard and seemingly callous at times, but it was all part of his charm. He could spew out friendly jokes and jabs with the best of them, but associate him with anything cute—such as cutesy nicknames— and you could pretty much expect a less than pleasant reaction.

Kairi ignored this fact, though, and waved a hand in his direction. She knew perfectly well that the man would let her get away with it. Girls were lucky that way, especially crazy ones. Xigbar would have never let it go if, say, Sora or I had dared to call him the same thing. Not that I'd ever give someone a nickname. Real names worked just fine for me.

"I'm just saying, it's not as easy as it looks," Kairi replied. Xigbar didn't bother with a response, and all eyes were back on the TV screen instantly

In the silence, I started to think over their words. I didn't know very much about baseball. Obviously. Everything I knew, I'd learned from working at the stadium. And that limited knowledge was only the technical stuff—things like pitch types, base stealing, field positions. I didn't know anything about the kind of skill you had to posses or the amount of determination, will and practice it took to play the sport. I couldn't honestly say I cared about that sort of stuff, anyway. I sure as hell wasn't ever going to play the game, so what did it matter to me?

I turned my attention back to the TV in time to see Axel walk up to the plate. Number 8. Now, I didn't know what made someone a baseball player, but I always thought Axel was a little too much on the skinny side to play the game, let alone any sport that used so much physical exertion. I mean, what if he got hit by a pitch? I had the feeling that he would snap in half. How did he even hit a 95 mph fastball without breaking his arms?

A chorus of groans broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked back to the screen to see that Axel had struck out or grounded out. I didn't really know, but either way, he was out and the inning was over.

* * *

By the end of the day, the only thing I wanted to do was clean up and get out of the stadium as fast as humanly possible. I never wanted to stay in that place any longer than necessary and was more than ready to get home and be alone for a while. Demyx had offered to give me a ride home, and I, of course, agreed because I was never one to pass up a free ride. Plus, it would beat having to catch the dreaded bus.

Kairi had gone into the back to help Xaldin and Xigbar clean up the kitchen, leaving Naminé and I up front. I was wiping the counter clean while Naminé swept the floor silently. Things were going smoothly, and we were just about to wrap up our cleaning efforts when the peace was interrupted by an excited shout.

"Man! We totally could have won that game." It was Demyx. Zexion, minus the tiger costume, was trailing behind him.

As soon as I saw the two of them, I remembered the conversation from earlier. Naminé peered over at the two friends, then back at me knowingly. When they reached the counter, Demyx put his arm around his Zexion's shoulder, and the latter squirmed a little. I honestly didn't know what to say. I'd never thought about the fact that Demyx could be gay before. Not that it bothered me. I was just surprised that something was apparently going on right in front of my face and I could be so oblivious to it.

"So..." Demyx smiled at Zexion then removed his arm from the other's shoulder. "Roxas, are you ready to go home?"

"Yea. Just let me…uh…finish cleaning this." I pointed to the counter and glanced at Zexion out of the corner of my eyes. He looked perfectly composed. Although, Zexion never really showed his emotions…ever.

"Ok, that's cool." Demyx leaned against the wall and started up a conversation with Naminé. Seconds later, Kairi returned to the front and greeted the two men for the second time that day.

After wiping down one last spot, I gathered up my stuff and jumped up on the counter so I could get out of the stand in my usual way — using the door was boring. Just as I was about to hop the rest of the way over, a voice interrupted. Cid was walking down the hall, approaching the stand with four other people trailing behind. I recognized them all right away.

"Hey, guys," Cid greeted as he came to a stop.

I was so surprised that I didn't even bother to hop the rest of the way down, so I just sat there, awkwardly straddling the counter. It wasn't so much the people who had startled me, even though I hadn't been expecting them at all. It was more the fact that something completely out of the ordinary was happening, or was about to happen.

"I know I promised you guys when you first started working here that I'd let you meet some of the team." I'd all but forgotten about that promise, actually. Cid's lips turned up into something vaguely resembling a smile before he continued. "And I know it's been a long time, but I finally came through."

He stepped to the side, stretching an arm out towards the four men who had been following behind him, like they were a prize we had just won on some game show. If I had been in a more normal position, I might have found that thought a little more amusing.

I glanced over at Naminé, curious of her reaction. I mean, with her obvious feelings for a certain pink-haired pitcher, it seemed she had the most to gain — or lose — from the meeting. As expected, the girl appeared totally calm and collected, hands clasped in front and sweet smile in place.

"I'm pretty sure you know these guys and all, but I'm just gonna introduce 'em anyways, ok?" We all nodded silently. "This guy right here is Cloud – plays left field," Cid said, slapping the guy next to him on the shoulder.

Cloud's blond spikes lying perfectly on top of his head, even after being stuck under a hat and helmet for 4 hours, reminded me totally of my brother. It was the flinch my boss received in return from the baseball player that sort of reminded me of myself. My co-workers all gave their greetings, waved, or shook hands while I stayed silent, still seated on top of the counter.

"This handsome fellow over here," Cid began, chuckling at the eye roll given to him by the next guy in line, "is our catcher, Riku."

I watched as Riku brushed his bangs out of his face and stared at the group of us. Cid wasn't exaggerating when he'd offhandedly complimented Riku's looks - long, shiny, silver hair, eyes that were sea green in color. The guy pretty much had it all. Not that I cared, but I'd have been lying if I said he didn't stand out in a crowd — in all the good ways. Besides his looks, though, he didn't seem too friendly. While my co-workers pretty much fell over themselves to say hello, he only gave a small wave and an even tinier smile.

"Then there's Marluxia, our star pitcher." Cid pointed in the direction of the pink-haired man.

He nodded politely in greeting, taking time to glance at each one of us. Until he stopped at Kairi, smile growing. I looked over at Naminé again to find her wearing that same, calm expression. I honestly didn't know how she kept her emotions so well hidden after everything we'd all just seen because I was positive it had to be bothering her.

"Well, that's it," Cid said, clapping his hands together. "Feel free to—"

"Hey, wait," a voice at the very end called out.

Cid looked over with a slight smirk on his face. "Oh yea, this is Axel; our shortstop."

That's then I noticed Axel staring my way, and I turned to see just what had caught his attention because it certainly couldn't have been me. When I faced the front again, he was still looking directly into my eyes.

It was impossible to tell from the small TV screen, but in person, Axel's eyes were the greenest I'd ever seen in my life. They seemed to almost sparkle in the dull overhead lights of the stadium, and like some magnetic force, I was drawn to them. When I was finally able to tear my gaze away from his, I caught sight of the two small, black, tear-shaped tattoos on each cheek. How had I never noticed those before? How had I never noticed those eyes? Surely, even hidden in the shadows of a baseball cap or hundreds of feet away on the other side of a camera lens, those eyes would still be shining.

Realizing that not only Axel's but everyone else's eyes were on me is the only thing that broke me out of whatever stupor the shortstop had put me in, shook me out of those completely uncharacteristic and disturbing thoughts. And that's the moment when I knew I had to get out of there.

"Remember that name," Axel said, smirking.

"Wha—" The words got stuck in my throat as the world started to move. Well, technically, I did, seeing as I fell backwards and right off the counter I was once seated so awkwardly on. Without a chance to grasp what was happening, I hit the cement floor. Pain shot through my body, the commotion started, and all I could do was let out a groan and squeeze my eyes shut and wish on every star that wasn't even visible in the afternoon sky or under the roof of the stadium that things would just go back to the way they were.

After all, the day had started out normal.


	2. Speechless

**Chapter 2- Speechless**

I only bothered opening my eyes when a hand brushed against the side of my face. Naminé was leaning over me, her brow furrowed in concern. "Are you alright, Roxas?"

I sat up slowly, blinking and trying to come to terms with what just happened. It was hard to let anything sink in, though, with three pairs of curious eyes staring at me. Besides Naminé, who was still hovering over me, Kairi had made it back behind the counter, as well, and was peering over her friend's shoulder. Demyx leaning so far over the counter that he probably would have been joining me on the floor with one false move. Everyone else was hidden from view, at least for the moment, and I was grateful for that.

"Dude, that was crazy!" Demyx let go of the counter, only to grab the edge again before losing his balance.

"Is everything alright back there?" Cid asked, not even trying to keep the amusement out of his voice, and I figured that was as good a time as any to face the music.

Standing up slowly, I pretended to check myself over and assess any possible damage, but I pretty much just wanted to prolong having to face everyone. There wasn't much pain except for a dull ache on the left side of my head, so I stood up the rest of the way. When I looked over the counter at the 5 men standing on the other side, I could tell that they were all trying not to laugh and ignored them to the best of my ability. When exiting the stand that time, I used the door.

I kept my eyes on the floor the whole way out of the stand and even avoided looking up once I was back out in the hall with the rest of the group. No doubt, all eyes would be on me with the scene I'd just caused, and that was something I absolutely hated. All I ever strived to do was blend in and stay out of the spotlight, because being the center of attention, to me, was worse than being ignored.

"So, you were saying something before—" Kairi paused to snicker under her breath, and I finally raised my head to glare at her. "Before you fell." So much for her being on my good side.

"It was nothing." And I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I glanced over at Axel to find that he wasn't paying the least bit of attention to me anymore. And for reasons beyond my comprehension, that didn't bring me as much relief as it should have.

"Well, I need to get going, you guys. But feel free to get to know each other," Cid said as he started to turn away. It was impossible to miss the grin on his face and the lingering gaze he sent my way. "You know — do whatever it is that you kids do nowadays."

Everything was quiet as he rounded the corner, and it stayed that way for a good minute after he was gone. Now, I'd experienced a lot of awkward silences in my life. In fact, I actually think I was prone to them, but I couldn't remember any being as dreadful as those long, excruciating 60 seconds that seemed to drag on for an eternity. Marluxia had given all of his attention back to Kairi, who was picking at her fingernails, completely oblivious to his leering. Naminé kept fiddling with the silver charm bracelet on her wrist while trying not to steal glances at the two of them. Riku was smirking at the scene before him, and Axel was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, gaze lingering on me once again.

"As much as I'd love to stay and take part in this excitement…I need to get going." Riku finally broke the deafening silence, and I didn't even care that sarcasm was practically dripping off of his words. "I am pretty important around here, after all." He threw one last arrogant smile our way before walking away.

"Don't pay any attention to him. Once you get to know Riku, you'll realize he's actually a pretty nice guy," Axel informed then proceeded to slap Cloud on the back. "Just like our Cloudy here."

The blonde stepped to the side almost immediately but gave no other indication that he'd heard anything Axel had just said. "I'm going to go get in some extra practice today, so I'll catch you guys later…or something."

With that, Cloud turned on his heels and left, leaving the rest of us in semi-awkward silence again. Marluxia's eyes were still glued to Kairi, and I watched as he let them roam down her body and then back up again. She was still unaware of everything, staring off into space and probably going over the some disgusting plan in her mind on how to seduce my brother. She didn't even notice the pitcher take a step closer to her, and it wasn't until he touched her arm that she yelped and hit the wall behind her.

"Holy shit!" Her head jerked up immediately, eyes wide. "Can you not scare me like that?"

It was my turn to laugh at her, but the amusement didn't last long once I noticed Naminé standing next to me, eyes cast to the floor like it was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen. It was clear that she was doing whatever it took to block out the spectacle happening before us. I couldn't blame her.

"I tried to get your attention, but it seems you were off in another world." Marluxia's smirk transformed intro something more lewd, and that was all it took for me to stop caring.

I glanced over at Naminé again, and as much as I wanted to deny it, just the sight of her made me feel kinda bad. Before I really knew what I was doing –because I'd never been good at comforting people, or even wanting to for that matter - I reached out for her. Just before I could touch her shoulder, she ducked under my arm and took off running. The group of us just stood there and watched as she sprinted down the hall and disappeared around the corner.

Honestly, I was never really one to care about other people's emotions. Crying, yelling, it was all just a bunch of over-dramatic bullshit to me. And, although, I like to think I wasn't a total heartless bastard, I suppose I was pretty damn close sometimes. But there was something about Naminé that day that affected me in a way I couldn't help. And it's not as if I saw the girl as anything other than an acquaintance, but it just felt like someone like Naminé, someone who was always cheering everyone else up, should never be sad.

Suddenly, someone slapped my shoulder, and I heard Demyx informing me that we should get going. "I'm driving Zexion home, too. Do you mind?"

The mention of Zexion brought all my thoughts back to the recent discovery of Demyx's supposed feelings for the mascot. I turned back around so I could try and respond to that question as normally as possible, but I caught sight of Axel staring at me, yet again. And just like that, anything I had been planning on saying dissipated from my mind.

Hands waved in front of my face, and Demyx spoke up again. "Earth to Roxas. Are you ok with me dropping Zex off before I take you home?"

I tore my eyes away from Axel's, which took a lot more resolve than it should have, and looked from Zexion to my blonde co-worker. "Uh…yea, it's cool."

Demyx gave a thumbs up and urged me to follow. "Well, let's go, then." He started to walk away with Zexion trailing behind him, but I stood still.

"I forgot something." I lied right through my teeth, and it felt weird. Not the lying, because I didn't give a rat's ass about that, but the lack of reason for why I was doing so in the first place. "I'll catch up with you guys." Demyx shouted some kind of spastic response and ran the rest of the way out the door.

Sometime while I'd been distracted, Kairi and Marluxia had vanished. I didn't care that they were gone, but the fact that they might have left together sort of pleased me. I was kind of hoping that the disappearance of my redheaded co-worker and the star pitcher of the Tigers would lead to something more, especially if it meant that Kairi would finally let my brother out of her clutches. No, I wasn't looking out for Sora, or thinking about how heartbroken Naminé would be. I was simply thinking of myself and the fact that I'd no longer have to see Kairi making passes at my brother and testing my gag reflexes.

"So what did ya forget?" I looked up to see Axel leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He still had his baseball uniform on, but his bright orange jersey with 'Twilight Tigers' written across it was un-tucked and unbuttoned, revealing a white undershirt. One of his socks had fallen down around his ankles, and his white pants were almost totally caked in dirt.

"What?" I honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. And it's not like I was very good when it came to one-on-one conversations in the first place, so add that to the fact that I'd purposefully stayed behind and put myself in a situation I normally avoided at all costs, and well…

"I said, I think you're hot."

"What?" My head snapped up, and Axel laughed.

"I was joking." He bent down to fix the sock that had fallen. "And is that the only word you know how to say?"

"No…" I should have just turned around and left, but it was like my feet were glued to the floor. Axel eyed me warily for a few seconds when I didn't bother to move or explain myself any further.

"So…you said you forgot something?" The corners of his mouth turned up, and I had to look away. Why did my heart suddenly feel like it was going to beat out of my chest?

"Uh…yea." I walked over to the counter of the concession stand and frantically started to search for anything I could take, any kind of excuse. My eyes landed on the plastic spoons that Kairi had been so obsessed with, and I plucked one out of the container. I turned back around to see the amusement clearly visible on Axel's face.

"This is what I needed." I raised the spoon. "I…uh…all of my silverware at home is dirty and…yea…I haven't been to the store yet, so I have nothing to clean them with…" I stopped rambling when Axel's grin transformed into something a little less innocent and a tad more shit eating, and I sighed in defeat.

"You didn't forget anything, did you?" My silence answered for me. "I didn't think so. So why, exactly, did you decide to stick around?" That was a question I didn't have an answer for, so I turned the conversation around.

"Why were you staring at me?" It was the only thing I could think of to say, and I honestly _did_ want to know the answer. It wasn't everyday someone looked at me – really paid attention to me - like Axel had.

"Excuse me?" He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about, but I could tell by the gleam in his eyes that he knew very well.

"Why were you staring at me practically the whole time you were introducing yourself?" I asked. "You actually never stopped staring at me, and I'd like to know why." Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him in silent challenge.

I was expecting some kind of annoying retort or joke, but instead he just threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh. He actually laughed. That's when the nervousness, the incessant heart pounding and inability to make any sense at all, dissipated and was replaced with an aggravation that felt much more natural.

After Axel calmed down considerably, only a few gasping breaths here and there, he walked over towards me. I, unfortunately, had to lean my head back to see his face.

"Look, kid." He was uncomfortably close to me, but I wasn't about to back down. "I don't know what you're thinking, but I wasn't looking at you any differently than I look at anyone else. You aren't anything special, if that's what you're thinking."

I narrowed my eyes and gave him my best- or worst- glare. "Listen, asswipe," I curled my hands into fists. "First of all, I'm not a kid. And secondly, I think you _were_ staring at me for a reason, and I don't like it."

Axel studied me for a few seconds that felt like forever. It was the first time all day that he'd appeared serious, and I _almost_ thought I might get a real, normal answer out of him. I don't even think it needs to be said that I was wrong.

"You're cute." He patted me on the head, like I was a child, as he walked by. It infuriated me beyond belief, but for some reason I couldn't find any words to say. There were no words to express the rage I was feeling in that moment, so I just stood there with that stupid, plastic spoon in my hand and watched Axel stroll away like he was the king of the world and I was just the village idiot.

* * *

Once outside the stadium, I caught sight of Demyx and Zexion talking to Larxene and decided the best thing to do was to stay back and wait for them to finish. It wasn't a hard decision to make at all because I wasn't in the mood to deal with very many people, let alone the likes of Larxene. To be perfectly honest, Larxene was the queen of all bitches. If I was forced to say one positive thing about her, I'd tell you that she had a quite a way with words and insults. The woman knew exactly what to say to have you feeling like yesterday's garbage, which always left me wondering how she ever managed to acquire and keep a job where she constantly needed to be around people. Apparently, Demyx saw something in her that no one else could, or maybe he was just civil because they worked closely and he needed to be on her good side to survive.

As soon as they parted ways, I made sure Larxene was out of sight before catching up with Demyx and Zexion. "Sorry it took me so long."

"No problem, man." Demyx shrugged. "We were just talking to Larxene."

"Oh, how is she?" I didn't really care.

"Good," Demyx said as he unlocked his car. "She was just telling me about her new boyfriend…again."

"Who is he?" And that was a question I actually cared to hear an answer for. I was extremely curious to know who could stomach Larxene long enough to actually date her.

"This is kind of— No. It's_ totally_ disturbing…but…Cid." Out of all the answers to receive, that was possibly the strangest one.

"It's so vile." Zexion's words were filled with disgust, but his expression remained neutral. "He's like...hundreds of years old."

We reached the car by that time, and I was thankful because Larxene was a sour enough subject on her own without throwing in the fact that she and my boss were doing it. To put it nicely, Demyx's car left much to be desired. It was ancient, discolored and practically falling apart. The thing could literally be heard sputtering down the street from a mile away, but it was transportation, and far be it from me to pass up a free ride, no matter how shitty.

I had just opened the passenger side door when I decided to glance at Zexion and immediately backed away. "Sorry."

He looked at me blankly. "For what?" Demyx was just smiling, obliviously, and opening his own door.

"Uh...I just figured you guys, you know, might want to…yea." The words wouldn't come, and Zexion was still staring at me suspiciously. "You know what? Never mind. I'm just going to sit in the back." Before I could hear a response, I moved to the other side of the car and sat behind the driver's seat.

After that tiny incident, the majority of the ride went along pretty smoothly. Demyx and Zexion spent most of the time talking quietly amongst themselves while I sat in the backseat and studied their every action. Basically, it was Demyx doing most of the talking while the other just nodded his head or gave short answers in reply. I might as well have not even been in the car with the way they seemed to be completely ignoring my existence, but I wasn't that bothered. Besides the fact that I preferred to be left alone and being around the two in the front seat had suddenly turned into something completely awkward, I had other things on my mind. Things that had to do with a certain annoying baseball player named Axel.

Before I was able to delve too deeply into my thoughts of him, though, I heard a giggle come from up front. It was Demyx. His hands were gripping the steering wheel, and he was trying to hide his flushed cheeks while still keeping his eyes on the road. A difficult process, indeed. Zexion looked unfazed as ever as he turned to gaze out the window.

When I actually paid attention, it was easy to see that Demyx acted differently around Zexion than he did around everyone else. The differences were subtle, but they were there. It was the way that he looked at Zexion with something softer in his expression, or how he'd steal constant glances out of the corner of his eye. It was evident in how his face would brighten even more every time Zexion bothered to say something, no matter how insignificant. And his feelings were most evident in the touches he gave to his friend. They were gentle, and let's face it, that wasn't a word ever associated with Demyx.

Naminé had said that Demyx was the smitten one, but she hadn't said anything about how Zexion felt. He never really showed that he had any interest in the blonde, but he was never one to show much emotion, anyway. Besides, he never shied away from Demyx's touches either.

Now, I prided myself on minding my own business, staying out of other people's lives and generally not caring, but for some reason the whole Demyx-Zexion situation was messing all that up. And I don't know what possessed me to do what I did next. I guess it was just pure curiosity, or pure stupidity depending on how you look at it. But regardless, I decided to break the silence in the most idiotic of ways.

"So…" I began. Zexion turned his head slightly at the sound of my voice, and Demyx peered at me through the rearview mirror. Before I had the time to change my mind, I just blurted out the words. "Are you two, like…going out?"

Simply put, it was a bad decision. As soon as I said the words, Demyx let go of the steering wheel and the car swerved onto the sidewalk, almost hitting a passing pedestrian in the process. Zexion made some sort of choking noise that was only half-way related to our near death experience and grabbed a hold of the dashboard.

By the time Demyx had regained his composure and maneuvered the car back onto the road, the whole inside of the vehicle was deathly quiet — silent, awkward and ugly. The once serene atmosphere had successfully been replaced by a tense hush.

The rest of the ride went just like that, even after Zexion had been dropped off at home, and I had never been happier to see my shitty, old apartment complex come into view. Once the car came to a stop, I offered Demyx a small wave and walked away from the decrepit Toyota as fast as I could.

I heard the engine sputtering down the road as I was unlocking my door and let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to be home and far, far away from every single crazy thing that had happened to me that day. All I wanted to do was plop down on my small sofa and sleep forever. And when I say small, I really mean it. Everything in and about my apartment was small, and that's probably because the apartment itself was microscopic. My parents bought it for me, so I didn't complain because beggars can't be choosers and all that. Plus, I didn't really mind because I was alone there most of the time, so there wasn't any need for a big, expensive apartment like Sora's. Since my brother received a scholarship, our parents decided to let him spend his college tuition money on other things. His penthouse apartment being one of those things.

My phone rang as soon as I hit the couch cushions, and it didn't stop. Sighing, I picked the thing up from where it had fallen to the floor and answered it.

"Hello," I said quietly, resting my head against the back of the sofa.

"Hey, Roxas?" the voice on the other end asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course it's me," I replied. "Who else would be answering my phone?"

"Well, you never know…"

"Get real, Sora." My stomach gave off a particularly loud growl that I was almost sure could be heard through the phone receiver. I frowned at the sound and realized I hadn't eaten a thing all day. Usually, the group of us would eat some of the food Xigbar and Xaldin had prepared, but the day had been anything but usual.

"How was work?" my brother asked.

I made my way into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, only to find it completely bare besides a carton of milk and some bottles of water. "Same as always." Except it wasn't, but that was my default, neutral response.

"So, basically it sucked?"

"Yea, basically." I opened the cupboard over the stove and decided to eat the only edible thing in my whole apartment - ramen noodles. I seriously sucked at keeping my cupboards stocked. If it wasn't for Sora reminding me — forcing me — to go grocery shopping, I'd probably have been a lot skinnier than I was. And if I was any skinnier, I'd have been dead.

"But you always think work sucks, so that doesn't mean anything to me," Sora replied, but it sounded like he was only half-way paying attention to our boring conversation. I only noticed because I was waiting for the water to boil and had nothing better to do but give him my full attention. "Tell me what happened today, even if you think it was boring. I could use some distraction."

I decided to give my brother what he was looking for. After all, watching the pan of water wasn't making it boil any faster. "Actually, I guess something _did_ happen today."

"Oh, really?" I imagined Sora perking right up as he spoke the words.

"Yea, well, kinda." I wanted to at least pretend that the whole day hadn't been as big a deal as it actually was. "I mean, we met some of the baseball team today."

"And I missed it?" He was obviously pouting. "Why did I have to have a dentist appointment today?"

"Because you don't know how to brush your teeth," I teased. Sora began to protest my accusation, but I cut him off. "You didn't miss much. They weren't really talkative, except Marluxia, who was interested in Kairi." I purposely left out everything about Axel.

"Really?"

"Yea, he wouldn't stop staring at her, and she was being weird. But what's new there?" The water was finally boiling, so I dumped the noodles into the pan. "Naminé was pretty upset about it."

"Yea." Sora suddenly sounded a lot quieter, which was strange for him.

"So, uh, that's pretty much it." The whole car situation with Demyx and Zexion didn't need to be mentioned. In fact, I never wanted to think about it again. It was that scary.

"I'm sorry I missed it."

"Please, you'd be sorry even if you just missed another normal day." I took a bowl that may or may not have been clean from the counter top and got ready to pour some of the soup into it.

"It's a fun job," he replied, still sounding a little too quiet to be my brother. I wasn't sure if it had to do with his visit to the dentist and the cavity he had filled or if it was something I'd said. "If you opened yourself up to different experiences a little more, I'm sure you would learn to love it, too."

Yea…that was a definite no. "Sure, Sora."

"Well, baby bro, I think I'm going to let you go, and I'll just see you tomorrow at work. I'm kinda tired and all."

"Ok."

"I love you."

"Yea." I was never good with emotions or mushy feelings, so that was my way of letting Sora know I loved him, too. And he always understood.

* * *

The next couple of days at work were business as usual. My schedule was back to normal, and most everything else seemed to be pretty calm. We didn't hear from or see the Tigers' team members, unless you count watching the games on TV, and I figured they had better things to do than hang out with us. Not that I was complaining. The less I had to see of Axel, the better it was for my sanity.

As soon as Sora got back, which was the very next day after we met the team, Kairi practically tackled him to the floor, hugging him so tightly I thought she might actually squeeze the life out of him. Sora just stood there and took it all, even daring to hug her back. As expected, Kairi spent most of the day attached to Sora's side and talking his ear off. And as scary as it was, my brother didn't seem to mind.

Naminé was feeling better, and although she would never admit what the obvious reason was, everyone knew it was because one morning Kairi entered the stand and vocally announced her intense dislike for a certain pink-haired pitcher. She said it was because he was weird and annoying, and I had to laugh because if that didn't sound like the pot calling the kettle black… She also said that my brother was the only man for her. Of course, she thought she was saying that for Naminé's ears only, but apparently she'd forgotten I was there again because I heard every word and was promptly disturbed.

Demyx and Zexion had been not so subtly avoiding each other at all costs. If one was the hanging around the concession stand, the other would just pass right on by, barely even acknowledging us. Demyx didn't seem very much like himself, and everyone took notice. When Xigbar suggested that it was a lover's quarrel, I couldn't help but cringe.

It was Friday when the normalcy began to dissipate again. It started out the same, though, luring me into a false sense of security. We were all behind the counter getting ready to start the work day. Demyx and Zexion had stopped by separately, and Xigbar was cracking jokes from the kitchen, making everyone but me laugh. That's when Riku decided to walk up to the stand and ask for a drink. He looked slightly different from a couple days prior considering he wasn't a sweaty mess and wasn't wearing his uniform.

"So, can I have the drink or not?" he asked.

"Yea," Sora spoke up. "As soon as you pay for it."

"I don't have to pay, I get the privilege of free stuff because I'm special," Riku said, smirking as he leaned against the counter.

It was obvious that Riku thought quite highly of himself, and I seriously contemplated telling the guy that if he was so special, he would have already been in the big leagues, but opening my mouth seemed to be too big of an effort. And I didn't care all that much about Riku in the first place.

"What makes you so special?" Sora studied the baseball player carefully.

"Are you serious? Is this guy serious?" he asked to Sora and then the rest of us.

We remained silent, letting my brother defend himself. "Why would I say something I didn't mean?"

Riku laughed, and Sora stared blankly at him. "I'm on the team. Riku, Number 15."

My brother narrowed his eyes and looked directly into Riku's. "But how do I know that?"

It was silent for a few seconds as the two of them held each other's gazes, and then it was Riku who finally spoke up. "I like you." He pointed a finger at Sora and smirked again. My brother seemed a bit taken aback by the reaction, and I noticed his expression soften. "But you are completely oblivious," Riku added. "Don't you pay attention to your surroundings?"

It was a legitimate question, and considering the fact that Sora sat around with the rest of us behind the stand and watched baseball games whenever we had the time, it was a bit weird that he couldn't even pick out members of the team. But even though he was technically watching the TV, he was always so busy babbling about something or another, so it's not like it was a total surprise that he was clueless as to just who Riku was. The catcher didn't know any of this, though, so he probably thought my brother was just some kind of moron.

"Of course I do," Sora defended and petulantly crossed his arms over his chest.

"If that's so, then you would've known I was on the team." I could tell by the sly grin that never left Riku's face that he was enjoying my brother's reaction. When the silence lingered on, he added, "I'm the catcher. Best one this team has ever had."

I scoffed at his arrogance, but no one seemed to notice. Naminé, who had been filling up a cup with Riku's drink of choice during the whole exchange, finally handed it over to him, and that was when Kairi decided to break her silence. It was almost a relief to hear her voice because that kind of laid back attitude wasn't normal for her — and normal was important to me.

"So, Riku, is it?" Kairi acted nonchalant, folding and unfolding a paper napkin. Riku looked at her from over the top of his cup as he took a sip. "If you're so great and all, why aren't you, you know, in the big leagues yet?" She echoed my earlier thoughts, and I was kind of disturbed that I shared the same thought process as someone who was certifiably crazy.

The catcher chuckled into his cup before lowering it to the counter. "I just need a little more practice, but trust me, sweetheart, I will be."

"I think…that you think a little too highly of yourself, sugar." Kairi started refolding another napkin.

Riku just grinned, watching the girl's hands. "Are you at least going to buy those things some dinner?"

Kairi's head snapped up as she pushed the napkins away hurriedly, and for once it looked like she had nothing to say. I underestimated her, though, because as soon as I thought she was going to admit defeat, she smiled to herself and replied calmly. "As soon as you can pull your lips away from your own ass."

"So, what's it like being on a baseball team?" Sora expertly interrupted, eyes lighting up.

"Awesome." Riku took another sip of his drink, and though my brother seemed to be waiting for something more, the catcher didn't say anything else.

"Awesome, how?" Sora tried again.

"Awesome like there is nothing in the world I would rather be doing." Riku sat the empty cup down. "Every day I get to go out there and do something I love. There's no other feeling like that in the world."

And for some reason, his words hit me kind of hard. Everyone around me seemed to be enjoying themselves, and there I was, just struggling to make it through. The job at the stadium had felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and it appeared that I was the only one who saw it that way.

"I would _love_ to just sit around here all day, but I need to get going," Riku said, pushing away from the counter and walking away.

"That'll be five dollars," my brother called out after him, smiling.

* * *

Riku's words had me feeling all out of sorts for the whole rest of the day. Maybe it was the revelation that my life sucked, and it sucked because I made it that way. I usually preferred to think that my life was full of fail through no fault of my own. When I was born God just decided that I should suffer. That had to be it.

And because my mind was so messed up for so many different reasons, I decided to walk home - something I never did. As a testament to how out of character it was for me, Sora asked if I was feeling well, and if I needed to go to the hospital or something.

As soon as I left the shady confines of the stadium and walked out into the bright sun, I almost considered turning back around and taking my brother up on his offer for a ride, but for some reason I just kept going. With each step, I contemplated turning around, until I was so far that it would have been pointless not to keep moving forward.

Walking down the sidewalk, the only sounds heard were the birds chirping, my shoes scuffling against the pavement, and a few, very scarce cars speeding past. There weren't many signs of life around the neighborhood, which was pretty much exactly what I expected.

About twenty minutes and 30 some odd blocks later, I came to the conclusion that walking home was probably one of the dumbest decisions I'd ever made. I'd never actually calculated the miles from the stadium to my apartment, but I was willing to venture a guess that it was in the thousands. It wasn't necessarily the walking that was so bad — although my feet definitely weren't used to it. It was the sun beating down on me with no signs of stopping, added to the fact that Twilight Town was naturally a pretty humid place that made things so much worse. Eventually it was hard to take a step without feeling like the energy was slowly being drained from my body, and as much as I didn't want to, I had to slow down.

The minutes ticked by slowly and rather uneventfully as minutes in Twilight Town tended to do, until I heard a pair of steady footsteps behind me. I slowed down even more so the person behind me could pass. I was moving along pretty sluggishly and didn't want to be in the way. Not to mention, I wanted to be alone and didn't need to feel like someone was trailing behind me and watching my every move.

But things didn't go as planned because as soon as I slowed down, so did the person behind me. I convinced myself that it meant nothing and started to speed up again. If lagging behind didn't work, then I was going to attempt to put as much space between me and the unknown person as possible. Unfortunately, that didn't work, either, because the footsteps quickened once again, and I knew it was no longer a coincidence. I wanted to turn around and give whoever it was a piece of my mind, but I just felt too tired to take part in any sort of conflict. Plus, I didn't want to give someone, who was obviously trying to piss me off, the satisfaction of knowing they'd succeeded.

So I just stopped, halted dead in my tracks, causing the owner of the obnoxious footsteps to crash right into me. I let out a pathetic, little scream of surprise before tumbling to the ground. Somehow, that had worked out a lot differently in my mind.

As I was lying on the ground, face first and practically eating dirt, I realized that I couldn't lift myself up because the idiot didn't even have the decency to lift themselves off of me. I spit out dirt and a few pieces of grass that managed to make their way into my mouth and struggled to breathe under the weight of another body. "Get off!"

Finally, the weight was lifted, and I let out a sigh of relief that was a lot louder than I intended, only to tense up again when I heard the familiar voice.

"Jeez! You think you could give someone a warning before you stop like that out of nowhere."

I froze in the process of wiping my clothes off and spun around to scowl at the person who was staring back at me with a small, yet incredibly annoying smile on his face. I was annoyed, but I was also in mild shock that someone as skinny as that could weigh about half a freaking ton.

"Axel." I said his name like it was the filthiest thing I'd ever heard. The last thing I wanted was to deal with him a second time in one week.

"I see you got it memorized," he replied, placing his hands on his hips, which looked pretty womanly if I was being perfectly honest.

"How could I forget such a stupid name?" I asked, continuing to dust off the front of my pants and shirt before moving along down the sidewalk, leaving Axel standing where he was. Of course, hoping that Axel would turn around and decide to leave me alone was just wishful thinking. I'd only known the man for a very short period of time, and I could already tell that he was the kind of person who hung around even when he was clearly not wanted.

"Hey," he shouted, running up beside me. "Roxas isn't that great of a name either, you know?"

I eyed him for a moment before looking back down at the sidewalk. "What?"

"You said my name was stupid, but yours isn't so hot either." I didn't say anything more on that subject because he had me there, and I didn't want to admit it. Damn my parents and their weird name choices!

"Why are you following me?"

"What makes you think I'm following you, kid?"

I stopped and looked up at him, like he was insane – because, clearly, he was. "Because you were walking behind me and playing some stupid game, and then you fell on top of me. You nearly crushed the life out of me with that fat ass of yours!"

Axel smirked that annoying smirk of his, like he thought he was so clever, and I felt my blood start to boil. "Wow," he said. "You really think you're something special." I just glared at him. "First you think I'm staring at you, and then you think I'm following you around." He brought his hand up to rub his chin. "You seem pretty obsessed. Are you in love with me or something?"

I was fuming by that time, absolutely livid. Axel was impossible. "Wha— No…you…what is wrong with you?" It was a barely comprehensible sentence, but it was all I could manage to get out in my rage.

He just stood there and stared at me a while longer, expression never changing. Then he turned and simply walked away, laughing and leaving me to stand behind and stare, yet again, like an idiot. There was no way I was going to let that happen, so I ran up behind him and grabbed his arm, spinning him back around to face me.

"No, you aren't going to make me look stupid again," I said, trying to contain my voice. I bet the whole scene Axel and I were making would have been pretty amusing had anyone actually been around to witness it.

Axel smiled down at me before speaking. "I just call 'em like I see 'em." I didn't think it was possible for him to get on my nerves even more than he already had, but I learned my lesson pretty quickly.

"No, you make things up in your head." I pushed him a little, but he didn't budge. "And you're trying to bring me into your delusions."

I shoved him again, harder that time and with both hands, but he was like a freaking boulder, unmovable. It was crazy how someone as bony and stick-thin as he appeared could be so strong.

And on top of that disturbing revelation, I was starting to creep myself out. I barely knew the guy, and he'd thought it would be a good deal to follow me home. And there I was, attempting to use violence while he was smiled at me like some kind of psycho. For a moment there, my mind began to run through all of the possible things that could go wrong because I decided to open my mouth again and piss off someone so clearly nuts. What if he crept into my house in the middle of the night? What if—

"Do you wanna go get something to eat?" Axel asked out of nowhere. It was random. It was completely inappropriate, and... I said ok. I don't even know why. I mean, the guy was nuts and aggravating beyond words, but one more look into his eyes, and it was like none of that even mattered.

Axel wound up physically dragging me to this vegetarian restaurant he said he ate at a lot. Yea, Axel was a vegetarian. Who'd have guessed, right? That was only one of the few things that would surprise me about him. The name of the place was Sweet Tomatoes and, apparently, the Tigers were frequent patrons of the small restaurant. It was a sort of tradition, Axel told me, that they all got together there after a win.

Tifa, a woman not much older than 25, with long, dark hair and big, brown eyes, was the owner of the establishment. I was surprised to find out that she'd basically built the restaurant form the ground up and was involved in all aspects of her business. Axel told me that sometimes she would lend a hand to the chefs, or if things were particularly busy, she'd act as a waitress.

We were greeted by her as soon as we walked through the door. "Axel, hey," she said, pulling him into a hug. Axel was almost skinnier than she was. "And who do we have here?" Her eyes landed on me.

"This here is Roxas," Axel said, grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me forward. I tried not to flinch at our sudden closeness. "He works at the stadium."

Tifa reached out and took my hand in hers. "Nice to meet you." I nodded in response, and her attention was stolen away as she scanned the area. "So, where's Cloud?" Axel chuckled, and I noticed Tifa's cheeks redden just slightly. "I mean, where's the rest of the team?"

"Not here." Axel was clearly amused. "And Cloud had some business to tend to. I think Saïx wanted to talk to him about something, but I'm sure he sends his love."

Tifa narrowed her eyes and playfully punched Axel in the arm. The smile on her face did little to hide how deflated she looked after the shortstop informed her of the team's –and especially Cloud's – absence. Once she politely excused herself, telling us to pick whichever table we wanted, Axel informed me that the woman was pretty much in love with Cloud, and he thought it was mutual. Apparently, Cloud was about as good with emotions as I was, but everyone knew that he and Tifa had a 'thing'. According to Axel, it was a 'thing' because no one knew if they were officially in a relationship, just that they flirted like nobody's business and spent a lot of time denying it.

Axel led me to the back corner of the restaurant, to a table that was pretty much out of the way of any commotion and close to the kitchen. Almost instantly we were greeted by our waitress, a girl with shoulder length brunette hair and two different colored eyes. She handed us our menus and introduced herself as Yuna, although I was sure Axel already knew her with the way he smiled charmingly when she asked him if he wanted the usual. She wrote whatever 'the usual' was down on the pad of paper in her hand, and I ordered a salad and a glass of water. With a promise of returning momentarily, she left our table.

As it turns out, spending time with Axel wasn't half bad - at least when he was acting like a normal human being. It wasn't the way I ever pictured spending my free time, and I knew I'd probably never willingly do it again, but I didn't have an absolutely terrible time.

Throughout the majority of the meal, I let Axel do most of the talking while I just listened as usual. The thing he liked to talk about the most was baseball — the game, the team, everything. And watching him speak was almost as amusing as listening to him. He was a very animated and excitable person, always throwing his hands up in the air when he said something he thought was thrilling. His face would light up in a way I'd never seen before when he told me about something awesome that he or his team had done. He seemed normal…almost like he was a completely different person.

When we were finishing the last bits of our food, I decided it was time for me to say at least something. As I'd listened to Axel go on and on, there had been one question on my mind. "Why did you become a baseball player?"

Axel set down his fork and looked at me. The serious expression on his face wasn't something I'd been expecting. "It means everything to me."

"I was just wondering because, you know, you just…" I trailed off when I realized that insulting Axel, or hurting his feelings, was something I didn't want to take part in anymore. He was still staring blankly at me, so I cleared my throat and began again. "I mean, you don't seem very good at it."

Silence. And suddenly, I felt like the biggest jerk in the room, in the world – an even bigger douchebag than Riku. And the fact that I cared about being a jerk to someone, let alone Axel, was another problem entirely.

He cast his eyes down to the table top and began to absently pick at a piece of lettuce with his fork. And I had no idea what to do. Before I had the chance to even think about saying anything, Axel was standing up. He threw a few bills on the table and walked away from me and straight out of the restaurant without looking back. And for the third time that week, I was left standing alone, speechless.


	3. Underneath It All

**Chapter 3 - Underneath It All**

I left the restaurant before Yuna could return to the table and ask any questions about the sudden lack of a certain red-headed shortstop. Once back outside, I realized I was even farther from home than before I ran into Axel – or should I say when he ran into me – and there was absolutely no way I was going to make the rest of the trek home anymore. Walking sucked, and getting home as quickly as possible was all I desired. That's when I decided to call my brother.

He, of course, agreed to come pick me up without any hesitation. Sora was that kind of person, the kind who was willing to help anyone out of a jam at any moment of the day or night. It was like a natural high for him - helping people - and something I felt I'd never understand. I had enough problems of my own to go and get involved in anyone else's.

After 20 minutes of sitting on the bench in front of Sweet Tomatoes, watching people come and go, any patience I had left was beginning to run thin. Sora, my always obnoxiously prompt brother, seemed to be taking his good old time, which, in turn, gave me more time to dwell on the whole Axel situation. Not that I cared about him or anything… His overreaction to my simple observation just annoyed me. That's all.

Eventually, the sound of a horn broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked up from the cement to see a sleek, black Lexus sitting out by the curb. As if the horn and the fact that I knew exactly what my brother's car looked like wasn't enough to clue me in, Sora decided to practically hang out the driver's side window, flailing his arms and grinning like an idiot. I groaned and walked over as quickly as possible, trying to ignore all of the unwanted attention my brother was giving us.

Once inside of the car, I shut the door a little harder than intended. Sora, who was in the process of removing himself from the window, jumped at the sound and hit his head against the door.

"Weren't you were walking home?" he asked, situating himself back in his seat and glancing at the clock on the dashboard. It was 5 o'clock on the dot. "I figured you'd be home by now, actually."

"I _was_ walking home." I buckled myself in and looked out the window. The questions were starting out innocently enough, but they'd soon escalate to things I definitely didn't feel like talking about. I knew all of my brother's strategies for trying to get me to talk, just like he knew…well…pretty much _everything_ about me.

Then why…" He paused momentarily, and I looked just in time to see him turn away from me. "Why were you here?"

"Because I was." I kept my answers short, hoping in vain that it would end the conversation.

Sora took another few seconds before responding. "Because why?" His voice was guarded and the hesitation clear. He knew we were both treading on thin ice.

Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about Axel no matter how hard I tried, or that my brother was asking a million annoying questions and still hadn't bothered to stick the keys back in the ignition, or that my dull life had somehow been flip-turned upside down in a matter of hours - or maybe it was all those reasons combined that caused me to lose whatever cool I still held onto. But lose my cool, I did. I slammed my fist against the armrest, causing Sora to flinch.

"Because I just was! Now, can you please start the freaking car and take me home? That _is_ what you agreed to do in the first place, isn't it?" My voice reverberated all around the inside of the car, and when I was done misplacing my anger on my brother, we were left in an all too familiar, uncomfortable silence.

It was familiar because it happened too often. I tended to get angry at the people who cared about me the most, especially when something was too difficult to say out loud, or when feelings were involved. I knew it was wrong to take my anger out on Sora when he hadn't even done anything wrong except care about me enough to ask questions. But I also knew that even when I was a complete asshole, he would never turn away from me.

Without saying another word, he finally started the car and eased out into traffic. It didn't take long for me to begin feeling even worse than I had before. That usually happened after I snapped at someone for no good reason, after I rolled everything around in my head and realized that the person I was actually angry at, the only one I had to blame, was myself.

"Look…" I broke the deafening silence, fingering the seatbelt across my chest and trying my hardest to say the words that just wouldn't come out.

"It's ok," Sora assured me, stopping my struggle. His lips curled up into a sympathetic smile, and I relaxed a little, glad that he knew me so well. "So…you gonna tell me why you were at that restaurant instead of at home?"

I rolled my eyes at his persistence. "I was with Axel." I didn't have a chance at hiding anything from him, so I decided to just get it out in the open.

"Oh." Even though he acted like he knew what I was talking about, the furrow of his brow and slight purse of his lips gave away that he didn't have a clue just who Axel was.

"How do you work at the stadium, watch game after game, and still not know one single person on the team?" A light chuckle escaped as I asked. It was hard to stay upset and angry at the world around someone as bright and cheerful as my brother.

"Hey, now." A small pout replaced Sora's smile. "I know Riku, so that's at least one person."

"Only because you met him today, and he told you who he was." I rested my feet on the dashboard, and my brother playfully glared at me.

He completely ignored the fact that I was right and turned the conversation in a direction I was hoping to avoid. "So, this Axel guy is on the team?" He batted at my feet, but I kicked his hand away.

"Yea."

"I wasn't aware that you knew anyone on the team well enough to go eat with them…"

"Yea, well…I don't. Not really."

I was trying not to give too much away, but the way Sora peered at me out of the corner of his eyes proved that he knew there was more to the whole Axel deal than I was letting on. And that's where Sora knowing me so well turned into more of an annoyance than anything else.

"So you ate with some random person you don't even know?" His voice was full of amusement, and he didn't even have the courtesy to hide it. "That doesn't sound like the Roxas I know."

"It isn't and, trust me, nothing like this will ever happen again."

That answer seemed to satisfy him, at least for the moment, and the interrogation finally came to a close. The next few minutes were silent for the most part, minus the sound of Sora humming a little tune and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. I took some comfort in knowing that at least one of us didn't take things so seriously.

We were passing through the shopping district of Twilight Town when the humming stopped and Sora spoke up. "Do you have anything to eat at your place?" I stared at him blankly, and he grinned in return. Then, without even bothering to wait for an answer – because he already knew what it was – he turned into the parking lot of the grocery store. "What would you do without me?"

And I honestly didn't know.

* * *

Unfortunately, that happened to be the evening when literally everyone in Twilight Town decided to buy their groceries. It was clear from the moment we entered the parking lot and had to circle 3 times to finally find a parking space that the place was going to be packed, and it was confirmed when we made it inside, only to find that there were no carts available. I had to settle for carrying a basket - not like I really cared, though. I only planned on acquiring a few things and vacating the store as quickly as possible.

As we weaved through the mass of bodies, it was painfully obvious that Sora was greatly enjoying himself, skipping down the aisles and leading the way. He loved to be around people. '_The bigger the crowd, the better_,' he once told me. I, on the other hand, hated it. Big groups, made me nervous and uncomfortable. Not to mention people were just generally annoying. That's partly why I loathed my job at the stadium so much.

Trying to keep pace with my brother while, at the same time, finding the right aisles through the crowd was nearly impossible. At one point, I was almost knocked flat on my face and lost every item of food I'd meticulously collected because some woman decided to bring her whole family shopping with her, a family that consisted of no less than 5 unruly children.

As if that wasn't bad enough, it then took five whole minutes to get down one, single aisle because either someone was moving at a snails pace, or two other people had decided to stop in the middle of the floor and talk. Sora took it all in stride and even paused to smile sweetly and greet some of the shoppers like they were friends, but it took all of my self control not to fling my shopping basket at those same people.

Finally, we reached an aisle that was, for the most part, empty. I didn't need any toiletries but at that moment, I could not have cared less. It was exactly when I'd found some solace next to the shelves of toothpaste that I heard someone shout out my name. It was a strange occurrence, to say the least, because I usually wasn't picked out of a crowd - at least not by very many people, and I liked it that way.

Sora's eyes got wide as he peered over my shoulder, and I heard footsteps approaching. "I thought that was you I saw earlier." I'd heard that voice somewhere before.

I spun around and was a little surprised to see Cloud standing right across from me. He had been anything but sociable when I first met him and didn't come off as the kind of person who would voluntarily talk to someone he barely knew, but, apparently, I was wrong. It was also a bit shocking that, after our brief meeting, he was able to recognize me among a sea of a million different faces.

Right next to him, and holding onto the cart, was a dark-haired man I recognized instantly. I'd never met him before but had seen him many times while watching the Tigers' games on T.V.

"Hey…Cloud…" I greeted the outfielder tentatively. It was weird for me to talk to someone outside of work or school, so I was feeling a little out of my element.

"Are you gonna introduce me to your little friend, or do I have to do it myself?" the guy behind the cart asked, causing Cloud to roll his eyes. He didn't even wait for an answer before speaking up again. "I'm Zack," he said with an exuberant smile as he reached out for my hand.

"Yea, number 25, third base." I decided to show off my knowledge of the team and glanced over at my oddly silent brother with a smug grin.

When I turned back around to Zack, he let go of my hand and his face lit up even more – if possible. "That is correct."

"Oh, so you guys are on the Tigers." Sora's mask of confusion was lifted and replaced with his usual bright smile.

"This is my brother, Sora." I nodded toward him. "He works at the concession stand with me. He wasn't there the other day when we –"

"Wait a minute," Zack interrupted, raising his hands. "You," he pointed to my brother "work at the stadium, and yet you didn't even know we were part of the team?"

Sora nodded sheepishly and ran a hand through his long, brown spikes. "Yea, well…"

"Don't sweat it, kid," Zack waved him off before turning to Cloud. "Where are those two idiots?" Cloud only shrugged in reply before peering down at a piece of paper in his hands that I assumed was some sort of list, what with the way he kept looking back and forth from it to the cart. "We've been here for like… hours, and I'm ready to go. We've got a long night ahead of us."

"What do you mean by that?" Sora asked.

"We're leaving," Cloud informed simply. "Tonight."

"Just the two of you?" I couldn't help but ask.

Zack laughed, looking back and forth between Sora and me. "You two really are related." We stared blankly. "Because neither of you knew that the team is leaving for three days, starting tomorrow." He paused for a reaction that never came. "So you didn't even realize that you had three off days coming up?"

I felt like an idiot. I guess, during all the chaos, it had just slipped my mind, which was amazing considering the fact that I was constantly looking forward to any and all days off.

"I knew that." I attempted to act as if I hadn't just made a moron out of myself.

"Sure, you did." Zack scoffed and glanced down at his watch.

"That isn't going to help," Cloud said, not even having to look up from the paper he was still holding to know what his friend was doing. "Why don't you just go look for them?"

"Because I don't feel like it." Zack leaned forward over the handle of the cart, his toes barely touching the floor as he pushed the thing back and forth. "After practicing and playing all day long, not to mention navigating this store for 100 plus hours, I'm entitled to be lazy."

"Who are you guys waiting for?" Sora asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue but was hesitant to ask. I didn't want to come off anymore clueless than I already had. Before either one of them could respond, we got our answer.

"We were looking for you guys," Riku called from down the aisle. He was carrying a bag of chips and a case of orange soda in his arms.

"Looking for us?" Zack asked incredulously as he turned around. "We've been in the same aisle for, like, 10 minutes, so you must not have been looking very hard. Maybe you could use some eyeglasses or something, Gramps." Riku scowled at his teammate before dumping the items into the cart.

"Well, I didn't see you making an effort to find _us_," A tall, skinny boy with shaggy blonde hair added in while throwing a bag of lollipops in with the rest of the food.

"I have the cart." Zack smirked. "Which means I'm superior to the likes of you. I don't look for people, people look for _me_."

Riku rolled his eyes "Way to try and make yourself seem important, but then, I guess you have to make up for your lack of baseball skills in some way," he teased. "You're just a lazy ass." Zack feigned shock at the words, even though he'd pretty much said the same exact thing himself, but Riku didn't pay any attention, instead letting a grin break out as he appeared to finally take notice of Sora and I standing off to the side. "What are you two doing here?"

"What do you think?" I lifted up the basket of food.

His grin only grew in size. "I mean here, with Zack and Cloud."

"We just happened to run into them," Sora answered. "Or, well…"

"They ran into us," I finished for him.

"These two had no clue about the team leaving for three days," Zack said, rolling the cart back and forth again. Cloud grabbed a hold of the rim, steadying it without a word, so he could continue looking over the items inside.

"Oh, that's rich." Riku let out an obnoxious laugh. I glared at him, but he took no notice at all. "I guess that means you also know that the little, spiky one isn't even aware of who plays for the team." He gestured towards Sora.

"Yea, we know," Cloud responded, not sounding the slightest bit interested as his two teammates took to giggling like a pair of schoolgirls.

"Then I suppose we should introduce him to Tidus, over here," Zack suggested, once he'd calmed down. He grabbed the tall, blonde by the shoulders, pushing him toward my brother.

"Grumpy hasn't met that one yet, either," Riku said, and I scowled at the nickname.

"Hi, uh, I'm Tidus," the boy said, before hesitantly reaching out to shake hands.

"Only the best little first baseman in the minors," Zack boasted.

"I'm not _that_ good." Tidus' cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"He's just being modest." Riku slapped the blonde on the shoulder. "He really is one of the best, and I don't usually hand out compliments."

"Yea, not unless he's giving them to himself." Zack laughed.

Riku moved over toward the third basemen, eyes narrowed like he was about to beat him to a pulp right there next to the toilet paper. Zack had taken to inching himself and the cart backwards while Cloud did his best to stop the movement, but by the time Riku reached his teammate, instead of throwing a punch, he just wrapped an arm around the other's shoulders. "Zack sucks at baseball," he said matter-of-factly. "But we put up with him, anyway."

Zack attempted to free himself, but Riku's grip remained firm, so he used the possession of the cart to his advantage, ramming it into the catcher's side and sending him flying into a wall of shelves on the opposite side of the aisle. For a second there, as the thing wobbled ominously and everything in the store seemed to come to a dead stop, I thought the shit was about to hit the fan. But the shelf remained upright, and once everything was in the clear, laughter from three of the Tigers' team members and my brother filled the air.

"Damn, Riku, I always knew that fat ass of yours would get us in trouble one day." Zack ducked as an arm flung out in his direction, maneuvering to the other side of the cart and out of the reach of Riku's attacks. Except said catcher practically threw himself over the top of the cart, all but smashing its contents, to try and swipe at his friend again.

"Ok, children." Clouds voice was stern as he grabbed Riku by the waist of his jeans and yanked him back to the ground. "I think it's about time we left."

"Do you guys live together or something?" Sora asked before anyone had the chance to move. The four teammates traded skeptical glances with each other, like it was the strangest question they'd ever heard.

"Uh, no…" Riku raised his eyebrows. "Why do you ask?"

"Why are you shopping together then?" I spoke up for the first time in what felt like ages. I'd just been so busy observing the insanity that obviously plagued the whole entire team to think of anything to say before then.

"Oh, we always do this before we take bus trips to different places," Tidus informed us. "That is, when we're not flying to cities farther away."

"Yea, we're usually on the road for long periods of time," Cloud said, while trying to get Zack to move the cart forward. "And being on a crowded bus for that long can get pretty…" he looked over his shoulder at his teammates. "…intense. So we make sure we have plenty of food to eat and things to distract ourselves with."

"Yea, but it's not like we're always the ones who do the shopping." Zack slapped at Cloud's hands when he pulled at the cart yet again. "Except Cloud. He goes every time because he's the regular little homemaker."

"I go," Cloud began, looking as if it was taking a lot of self-control to keep his voice so calm, "because I'm the _only one _who bothers to make sure things are done correctly." Zack finally relinquished ownership of the cart over to Cloud, and said outfielder left for the checkout line with Tidus. Riku and Zack stayed behind.

"Axel was supposed to come with us today," Riku said, and just by speaking that name, he had my full attention. "But he never showed up."

Sora and I looked at each other, and I tried tied to tell him, through some form of telepathy, to keep his mouth shut. I should have known it wouldn't work.

"Roxas was-" he began, but I cut his words off short as a sudden panic rose up in my chest.

"Where is he?" I tried to act completely clueless. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to know I'd had contact with Axel outside of the stadium, and that, technically, I was the reason he hadn't met up with his friends like he was supposed to.

"No idea." Zack shrugged.

"We should've known not to count on him." Riku laughed to himself and shook his head.

I really, really didn't feel like talking or hearing about Axel. The more I heard his name, the more something a lot like guilt began to build up inside of me, and I hated it. Feeling guilty meant I was feeling for the shortstop, and I just did not care about people's feelings, especially people I barely knew.

Thankfully, the subject was dropped, and we made our way to the front of the store, Sora making small conversation with the two Tigers' teammates like he'd known them his whole life. I took my groceries over to the checkout line, and Sora followed Zack and Riku out the door, calling over his shoulder that he'd be waiting outside for me. Most of the shoppers had dispersed during the amount of time I'd spent on aisle 10, talking to Cloud and company, so it didn't take very long to make it through the line and head out to the parking lot.

When I walked through the exit, I spotted Sora standing over by a fairly large green van, still yammering away with Zack and Riku. Cloud and Tidus were doing all the work of loading the groceries into the vehicle.

"A little help here would be nice," Tidus called out while heaving a particularly heavy bag into the back.

"I don't do manual labor," Riku said before turning back to Zack, so the two of them could share yet another bout of laughter. "I think two big, strong, strapping men, such as yourselves can handle it."

"Afraid you're going to chip a nail, Princess? Cloud placed the last bag in the back and shut the door.

Silence reigned for a few seconds. "Good one," Riku finally said with a grin, opening the passenger's side door and jumping in.

* * *

When Sora finally pulled up in front of my apartment building, he offered to help carry the groceries up, and I laughed. I was quite capable of carrying two small bags on my own, and he knew that too, but I figured there was something more behind the seemingly innocent question- like a chance to pry for more information about my lunch with Axel.

Just as I started walking away from the car, I heard the window being rolled down. "Hey, Roxas?" I turned back around to see my brother leaning out of the window for the second time that day.

"Yea?" I asked, patience wearing thin.

"You wanna go to the beach tomorrow?"

Sora was always trying to get me to go places with him when I preferred to just stay at home alone, so I was fully prepared to say, "No, absolutely not. No way in hell am I spending a perfectly good day off at the beach" But then I made the mistake of looking into his hopeful eyes and remembered what an ass I'd been earlier, and I knew I was done for.

"Sure, Sora." I sighed and hefted the bags higher.

"Awesome!" He clapped his hands together and almost tumbled out of the window completely before catching himself and looking back to me. "I'll invite everyone from work, too."

Perfect, just what I wanted – to spend one of my peaceful days off with the same people I saw practically every other day of my life. Not that they were so bad… Well, Kairi was crazy, but everyone else was tolerable. It's just, really, all I wanted to do was sit around my house, away from everything, watching mind-numbing hours of television and forgetting the past week entirely.

"That sounds…fun," I grated out through what I was sure was the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles. Naturally, Sora didn't notice.

"Cool! And you can invite your friends, too," he said, getting back into his seat and starting up the car. "See you tomorrow!" I gave a curt nod, barely managing to hold the smile as he drove off.

By the time I opened my door and dropped the bags of groceries in the entryway, it was just past 7 o'clock, and my stomach noisily reminded me of how hungry I was, especially since I hadn't even finished my food at the restaurant earlier. That wasn't a subject I really wanted to think about, so I busied myself by re-stocking my cupboards and refrigerator with all the groceries I'd just bought.

When I was done, I grabbed a frozen dinner – pasta of some kind, shoved it in the microwave and leaned against the counter to wait. That gave me some time to think about the beach and how Sora had prompted me to invite my friends along. I hadn't seen much of Hayner, Pence or Olette since the summer began… and even before that we had been hanging out less and less.

Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I saw that I had a text from Olette, telling me she missed me, and there was also a missed call from Hayner. Before giving myself the chance to feel too bad about the lack of effort I was putting forth in the relationships with my friends, I pressed the call back button and listened as the phone started ringing.

"Dude!" A voice on the other end answered after the fourth ring. "You're actually calling me. Is the world freaking ending or something?"

I laughed, ignoring the twinge of guilt. "Yea, it's shocking, I guess."

"Seriously."

"I meant to call sooner," I lied. The microwave beeped, and I took out the plastic tray, stirring the contents before sticking it back in.

"Sure you did," Hayner teased. "So…what's up? I feel like we don't know anything about each other's lives anymore." It was the truth, but I didn't expect hearing it out loud to make me feel as bad as it did.

"Yea, well, you aren't missing much on my end." Actually, he was missing out on a lot, but I couldn't bring myself to go into details. It almost felt like I'd be spilling everything to a stranger. "How about you? What's happening in your life?"

"I met this girl..."

I hopped up on the counter, my legs hanging over the side and hitting up against the cupboard underneath with a series of rhythmic thumps. "Is that supposed to mean something to me? Because you're always meeting girls."

"Yea…ok, maybe. But this girl is the one, man!" Hayner exclaimed.

Hayner was always finding 'the one'. I honestly couldn't remember a time in which he stayed with a girl for more than one night, let alone any longer than a week. Picking up girls was sorta like a game to him, so I didn't think much of his confession.

"Oh, well, that's good." I tried to sound as if actually cared about what he was saying, and I felt like a complete bastard because I really didn't

"You think you could at least sound a bit happier for your best friend."

I sighed, switching the phone from one ear to the other. "What's her name?"

"Selphie," he said. "Isn't that a cute name?"

"Yea, cute," I agreed, taking a bite of my food. "So, Sora has this whole beach thing planned, and I was thinking you might want to come."

"Tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yea, he's inviting his _friends_ from work, and I'm inviting you – Pence and Olette, too, of course." I took another bite of food and spoke again with my mouth full. "You know, so I won't have to be surrounded by a bunch of losers all day."

"Man." Hayner's voice fell, and I knew what was coming. Excuses about why we never hung out or talked as much were really all that passed between my friends and I anymore. "I'd really like to come, but Selphie and I already have plans…"

"Oh." I couldn't hide my disappointment. Maybe seeing my friends, all of us being together again, hadn't been my idea in the first place, but after I'd made the call and heard Hayner's voice, I realized how much I really wanted it to happen.

"I could cancel though and-" Hayner spoke up again quickly, but I cut him off.

"Nah, it's ok, we'll just get together some other time." Another lie.

"I'm really sorry, man." He sounded legitimately upset.

"Its fine." I was reassuring myself as much as him. "Not a big deal. I don't really want to go, anyway, but Sora's, like, literally dragging me along…"

"Really?"

"Well, not exactly…" I shoved another forkful of pasta into my mouth. "But he really wanted me to go, used the puppy dog eyes and everything. I didn't want to let him down." I shrugged even though I knew Hayner couldn't see.

"You pretend to be such a hard-ass, but underneath it all, you're just a big ol' softy." He laughed.

"Oh, and how about you Mr. Isn't-her-name-so-cute?" Then I was laughing too, and it sort of felt like old times, like maybe not everything between us was as lost as I'd thought.

"I miss you, Roxas," Hayner said once the laughter died down.

"Shut up, idiot," I replied with a rare but genuine smile on my face, and I knew that he understood exactly what I meant.

Eventually, we said our goodbyes and made our same old empty promises to hang out as soon as possible. I sent a couple of quick text messages to Pence and Olette, explaining the beach situation before throwing my phone onto the couch and heading down the short hallway to take a much needed shower.

* * *

There I was, sitting in a hot, crowded car on a Friday afternoon off, surrounded by a bunch of people I didn't really feel like seeing. Sora was driving, of course, since it was his car and the whole thing had been his idea. Naminé and Kairi were sharing the passenger seat, and I was in the awkward position of acting as a human wall between Demyx and Zexion in the backseat. Olette and Pence were both conveniently absent. I'd received texts from them that morning that morning, each containing another flimsy excuse about why they couldn't make it

The girls, who had been giggling and whispering to each other _the entire time_, never revealed exactly how they'd convinced the two men sitting on either side of me to come along, only that they were equally aware the other was going to be there. That proved to be a lie when Demyx asked why we were turning down Mango Avenue, which happened to be Zexion's street, and then asked why we were stopping in front of said man's house. Girls just don't play fair.

The whole way to the beach, the backseat was deathly silent. I barely moved an inch, not daring to call any attention to myself. After all, I was the one who'd unintentionally caused the rift between my two fellow backseat inhabitants. Demyx entertained himself by gazing out the window and tapping the door handle along to the rhythm of whatever song my brother had tuned in on the radio, and Zexion appeared completely focused on some book, as he usually was.

The beach we were headed to was a quiet, secluded place on the outskirts of town. If you hadn't lived in Twilight Town your whole life, like we did, you probably wouldn't have even known the place existed. There was only one small, rickety wooden sign – that looked like it was about to fall apart at any moment – placed right next to the entrance, the words 'Picnic Island' etched into it.

To actually get to Picnic Island, you had to drive along a narrow road full of twists and turns, trees and bushes surrounding practically everything. Nothing along that road was indicative of a beach being just up ahead, but once you rounded the last corner, there it was – the golden sand, the clear, blue water – in all of its glory. Before actually reaching the beach area, there were gazebos scattered about, sheltering picnic tables and grills. A few swing sets and jungle gyms were strewn around the place, as well.

After Sora parked the car close to a set of picnic tables and a swing, we all but tumbled out of the car, eager to be out in the fresh air. My brother, Demyx and I stayed back to unload our stuff – a cooler, a pile of towels and dry clothes, and a bag full of random things from sunscreen to paper napkins. Kairi, Naminé, and Zexion made their way over to the tables with the picnic basket full of food my brother had forced me into helping him prepare.

After everything had been hauled over to the picnic area, Kairi launched herself onto Sora's back, screeching about how they absolutely had to go down to the water right away. He agreed a little too enthusiastically, in my opinion, and let himself be dragged off, calling over his shoulder for the rest of us to join. Demyx leapt off the picnic table he was sitting on in an instant and followed along. My guess was because he wanted to be somewhere that Zexion wasn't. Naminé asked if I was going, and when I declined, she skipped down to the sand.

I had absolutely no intentions of going anywhere near the water, and from the looks of it, neither had Zexion. He was sitting at a picnic table on the end, seemingly content in his reading. It wasn't at all surprising because Zexion never came off as much of a beach person to me. It was a little surprising, though, that he'd agreed to go in the first place, but then maybe Sora had gotten to him… You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who possessed the ability to turn down my brother when he really wanted something.

Though we were both silent and doing our own thing, I felt a little less alone having Zexion around.

I took a seat on top of a random picnic table, setting my feet on the actual seat part and faced towards the beach. The sun was bright, and the waves were really rolling in. I spotted Naminé in her white, one-piece bathing suit, playing around with Demyx in the water. He lifted her up high over his shoulder and dropped her just as a particularly large wave came crashing down. She popped up a few seconds later, gasping for air and pretending to be horrified, but the laughter gave her away completely as she splashed Demyx in the face.

Even though Kairi had been the one to initiate the idea of heading down to the water, she resisted getting in. Sora tried his best, pulling on her arms and even getting behind her to push, but she stood firm as a stone. She looked ridiculous, too, wearing this tiny, black bikini which made her boobs look as if they were about to bust out at any moment. One big wave, and I'm sure they would have. And knowing her, that's probably what she was going for. On top of her head was a huge, straw hat, and she was sporting a pair of round movie star sunglasses.

Having seen enough, I turned my attention to Zexion, who was sitting at the table directly opposite of mine. He wasn't paying attention to anything except the words on the pages of the book spread open in front of him. I hopped up from my table, tired of just sitting and doing nothing and cautiously walked over to where Zexion was, trying not to make too much noise with my shoes along the way.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say because I hardly ever thought before I spoke. The whole rift I'd caused between Demyx and Zexion was a prime example of that. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to somehow makes things ok again, to see my two co-workers talking to each other and hanging around the concession stand at the same time - because even though my life was shit, that didn't mean I had to ruin everyone else's. Plus, it was like the two of them not talking was helping to throw everything I knew about my shitty job off balance. And I didn't like it.

"Zexion," I said quietly as I reached the end of his table. He looked up at me and set his book down, making sure to keep his page. "Uh," I began, searching for the right words. "About…um…in the car. You know, that day…"

I was hoping that he would understand what I was trying to get at, but it appeared that I wasn't so lucky. He wasn't Sora. He couldn't take my incoherent babbling and put it all together into something that made sense. He didn't know what was going on inside of my head. Standing there with his eyes trained on me, as the silence stretched on, I began to feel entirely discouraged and realized that I had no idea what I was doing. So I started to walk away.

Only to be stopped when Zexion spoke up.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." I stopped dead in my tracks and spun back around, completely blown away that he'd actually understood.

"It's not your fault that Demyx and I are acting like a couple of children, you know." He got up and walked over to me. "I'm actually kind of glad that someone brought the subject up. It was always hanging there in-between us, anyway. It's just neither one of us was brave enough to bring it up."

"Really?" I asked, a little shocked at the way things had turned out.

"Yea, really." He patted my shoulder awkwardly before strolling back over to his seat.

"So, do you like him?" I didn't know if it was the right thing to say, or why I even cared.

Zexion looked down at his hands that were folded on top of the table and didn't answer. I took that as a sign that I should just walk away, so I did. I sat back on the top of the picnic table and watched as a soaked Naminé began strolling back over, giggling and glancing over her shoulder the whole time.

"Come swing with me." She touched my arm as soon as she arrived and smiled before running over to the swings. Despite not wanting to move, I got up and started after her, only to be stopped by a voice.

"I don't know."

I turned back around to look at Zexion, but he was once again hidden behind his book. And I smiled to myself before continuing on my way to the swings.

Naminé was already kicking her legs back and forth and swinging pretty high up in the air when I arrived. I sat down on the swing next to her, not bothering to move. It had been forever since I'd actually been on one. It had been forever since I'd done a lot of things.

"How's Zexion?" she asked innocently, but I felt there was an ulterior motive behind the question.

"Good, I guess." I began making patterns in the sand with the toe of my shoe.

"Did he say anything about Demyx?" No one actually knew what was going on between the two men, but with the way they were avoiding each other, it was easy enough to guess. And leave it to Namine and Kairi, in all their scheming and gossiping, to guess the exact reason.

I had a choice to reveal what Zexion had told me, or lie to Namine. It wouldn't have normally been that much of a major decision to make, but then again, no one had ever really confided anything in me before, and I kinda didn't want to ruin that. "…No." It was surprising how the lie slipped from my tongue with a little less ease than usual.

"Oh." Her face fell, and she dragged her bare feet across the ground in an attempt to slow down.

"I'm sure they'll work out…" I trailed off. The words just seemed to come out on their own, and it was startling to hear myself sound like I actually cared about what happened to someone else. "They'll work out whatever is going on between them."

"They have to," Namine was sitting still beside me by that point. She grabbed onto the chain of the swing with both hands and leaned toward me, a smile on her lips. "They're perfect for each other.

"How do you figure?"

"They balance each other out." She pointed toward the water where Demyx was still screaming and splashing about. "Demyx is wild and loud." Then turning her attention back to the picnic tables, "Zexion is reserved and quiet." She laughed when I remained silent, taking in her words. "Opposites attract, you know?"

Her movements started again, legs swinging back and forth, and I followed suit. As the chains of my swing creaked along with the small movement, I let my gaze travel back over to where my brother and Kairi were still sitting in the sand, side by side, a little too closely for my own comfort.

"Naminé?" It was like my voice suddenly had a mind of its own and I was no longer in control of it.

"Hmm." She was flying by again, her blond hair flowing in the wind.

"What do you think about Kairi and Sora?"

"What about them?" She looked down at me as she passed by.

"I mean, do you think they…I don't know. Are they, like..." I couldn't finish the thought without feeling like I wanted to hurl.

"Are they good together?" God, it sounded even worse out loud.

She jumped off the swing when it was at its highest point and landed on her feet. "I don't know. I guess they could be."

Contemplating a romance between my brother and Kairi for even that short period of time was enough to last a lifetime, so I decided to take things in a lighter direction. "As long as she isn't with Marluxia, huh?"

Namine stuck her tongue out before taking off back over to the picnic area, leaving me behind. The other three had returned from the water - or the sand in Kairi's case, and Demyx and Sora simultaneously lunged for the picnic basket, almost sending it toppling to the ground.

I walked over just in time to salvage a bag of chips and a sandwich and secure my spot at the table I'd been at earlier. Demyx, Sora, Kairi, and Naminé were all crowded around another table right behind me, talking and laughing away. Zexion remained seated in the same place as before, reading his book. It was sweltering, as it usually was most Twilight Town summer days, a couple warm, sweeping guts of wind here and there. The sun was reflecting off the water nearly blinding me, and even though I probably would have rather been a million other places than the beach, at that moment, I had to admit things were almost…comfortable.

* * *

On Monday, it was work as usual. Kairi shamelessly flirted with Sora all day long, Xigbar cracked a million jokes and took his usual jabs at people, sometimes Naminé got lucky in that Kairi would leave my brother alone long enough to talk to her, and I stayed silent, for the most part.

Demyx stopped by sometime after the majority of the crowd had taken their seats and the game was well underway. "Guys, I'm bored," he whined, laying his head down on the counter.

"Then go find your little boyfriend," Kairi said flippantly, while rearranging the ketchup and mustard bottles. Demyx kept his head down, but I noticed his shoulders tense. He never did bother to respond to her, and I could only imagine that he was just wishing she would disappear. Been there more times than I can count.

"Where is Zexion for that matter?" Sora asked innocently, trying to twirl a plastic fork around his fingers. "He hasn't been around all day."

Demyx shrugged in response and focused his eyes on the small television set. "Do you think we're going to win this game?" he asked, obviously just trying to change the uncomfortable subject.

"Of course," Naminé said with a smile that was a little too bright to not mean anything.

"You only say that because Marluxia's pitching," I broke my silence, and Naminé started blushing as she lowered her head.

Turning my attention back to the television, I noticed that Axel was on his way to the batter's box, and I tried my best to ignore that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. He didn't look any different then the last time I'd watched him on that exact screen a few days prior, but something just didn't feel the same anymore.

"Oh, no." Kairi sighed and rested her arms on the counter next to me. "He's an automatic out."

And maybe it was the guilt brewing inside of me, or the fact that I felt like everything had been thrown off kilter, but her words just served to piss me off.

"You don't know that," I snapped. "What makes you such a freaking expert on the sport?" Considering the shocked stares I received in return, it probably came out a little more harshly than necessary.

"I never claimed to be an expert." Kairi pursed her lips and switched the stupid bottles around again. "But the same thing happens every time he goes up to bat."

"Then why don't you take your crazy ass out there and do it for him?" It seriously felt like the world around us had gone still after I spoke, and Kairi turned her head sharply to glare at me. I knew I was taking things a little too far because, really, it didn't have much to do with what she'd said at all. "If you think you can do so much better…"

She studied me, and after a few seconds, the pout had been completely erased in favor of a smirk. "Well, don't get your panties in a twist or anything." She raised her hands in defeat. "I wasn't aware of your feelings for him."

That just about knocked me off of the stool, and, for a few seconds there, the only thing I could do was stare at her, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. "What?"

"You heard me." She gave me one last glace, before turning away to do whatever the hell it was she was doing after I stopped caring.

I had nothing to say in response to something like that, and I was seriously starting to regret the decision of opening my mouth in the first place. People were getting ideas - ideas about Axel and me, thinking I had…_feelings_…for him, and I – just, no. There was no way I actually cared about him, even the smallest bit. But I also couldn't bring myself to deny it out loud.

Before I had the chance to say anything else and probably make an even bigger scene, a few customers walked up, and there was mindless work to be done. And I think that's the first time I'd ever been thankful for that.

A couple hours later when the game was ending and the work day was pretty much done, Kairi walked over to where I was seated in the corner. "Sorry." I regarded her out of the corner of my eyes as she placed a hand on my back. "I didn't mean to…"

"Yea." I interrupted because I didn't want to hear it all over again. Plus, I wasn't about to sit there and listen to any sappy apologies if I could help it. She patted me a couple times before walking back over to Naminé and Sora.

"Hey, hey, hey!" a voice shouted out, and when I looked up, Zack was jumping up to lay on top of the counter.

"Hi, Zack!" Sora bounded back over with a huge grin. As he took to introducing Zack to the two girls who hadn't met him before, I noticed some other people walking down the hall - Riku, Marluxia, and Cloud, to be exact.

"Get off of there, you freak." Riku grabbed the back of Zack's shirt and threw him off the counter. He hit the ground with a shriek, but popped back up a few seconds later.

"I should have pantsed you while I was down there," Zack said, rubbing the side of his head.

"That's good. Go for his weakness," Marluxia said, and Riku turned to glare at him. "You know, let everyone see that huge ass of his."

Riku opened up his mouth, obviously some kind of scathing retort on the tip of his tongue, but Naminé cut off any waging verbal – or physical – wars. "So, what are you guys doing here?" She was looking at just about everyone…except Marluxia.

"No reason," Riku said, leaning over the counter to grab my brother by the neck and mess up his perfect spikes. "Just because we love you guys."

"That's nice and all." Kairi wasted no time in prying Riku's hands off of my brother and shoving him away. He tripped backward over his feet, landing against Cloud and sent an incredulous look the girl's way. "But we have some cleaning up to do, and you guys are just a distraction."

Riku's face lit up, and he raised an eyebrow in amusement as he watched Kairi grab for the broom. "Sorry, Princess, I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes."

"I'm so glad you came to visit, Riku." She started to vigorously sweep the floor, not even bothering to glance at the catcher. "You simply _must_ drop by more often. I just don't know what I'll do with myself if you don't."

"Where's Axel?" I immediately perked up when Cloud spoke, hoping no one noticed my reaction. From the look on the outfielder's face, it was clear that he was about as amused with Kairi and Riku's behavior as I was – which was not at all. "I thought he was going to meet up with us."

"He's in a _meeting_ with coach Xemnas," Marluxia answered, widening his eyes suspiciously, and I was even more curious about Axel's absence than ever.

"Oh, wow." Zack let out a low whistle. "That…sucks."

"What do you mean," I asked, finding myself unable to stay silent any longer when no one was giving any definite explanations. "What kind of meeting?"

"Probably about his performance lately," Marluxia informed, glancing down the hallway.

"Yea, ever since-" Zack's attempt at elaborating was cut short by an elbow to the ribs.

"He just needs a little bit of extra practice," Cloud tried to amend, but it was too late. I knew there was something they weren't saying. And as much as I was dying to know what that something was, I didn't dare ask. I'd already made too much of a deal earlier with Kairi, and with the way Cloud reacted, it was obviously something that wasn't going to be revealed easily.

The group of baseball players hung around for a while as we began our clean-up process, and Axel's name was never brought up again. Zexion never did show up, and neither did a certain red-headed shortstop. And I had a feeling that I wouldn't be seeing him for a while, that I was being avoided, and I hated how it seemed to bother me so much – how, maybe…I actually did care.

And as much as I had wanted things to go back to the way they were, I knew it was too late for that. The wheels of change had already been set in motion, and there was nothing I could do to stop them from turning.


	4. Hands Down

**Chapter 4 - Hands Down**

The next few days flew by, and they were all Axel-less just as I'd predicted. Zexion was back to stopping by and even stuck around a couple times after Demyx showed up. Daily visits from various members of the Tigers had become expected, and everything that went along with those visits – the teasing, the friendly chatter, the general craziness – somewhere along the line, had become the norm.

It was after work on a Wednesday, when I was getting a ride home from Sora, that I realized we'd been working at the stadium for exactly 2 months. It sure as hell had felt like a lot longer.

"I can't believe I've survived this long." I took to leaning my head against the window. Sora didn't say anything, only breaking the silence to mumble to himself as a car came out of nowhere, cutting right in front of us. I took his lack of response as a cue to keep talking. "You know, the job, I mean. I still hate it."

To tell you the God's honest truth, I didn't detest it as much as I had before, but it was just easier to pretend I did, to go along with what I knew everyone expected from me. And it's not like I actually enjoyed going to work or anything; I wasn't skipping through the front door every morning like my brother. It still sucked major ass most of the time, but it was a step up from spending every day constantly miserable.

Sora just nodded, offering me a small smile, and we left it at that. I got the feeling he knew I wasn't telling the whole truth and was glad he didn't say anything about it.

When we arrived in front of my apartment, I was getting ready to leave the car, had a hand on the door handle and everything, when Sora decided to break his silence. "Come over to my apartment later."

I pushed the door open and stepped out of the car. "Ooh, a royal invite to the palace?"

He laughed. "Yea, I suppose you could put it that way."

I leaned forward to talk through the open window. "What's the occasion, your highness?"

"You'll just have to come and find out for yourself." There was a devious little gleam in his eyes that I didn't even know he was capable of.

"And here I was, thinking you actually knew me," I said. "When have I ever agreed to do something without knowing what I was getting myself into?" Technically, I'd done that exact thing a few days before when I risked following Axel, but still… I'd learned my lesson.

"I guess you'll never know then." He smirked and started the car. "Don't take it too hard when you find out you missed out on the most amazing night of your life." Luckily, I hadn't done anything that day that made me feel obligated to accept Sora's offer.

"I think I'll risk it," I said, walking around the car and heading toward my building.

"Suit yourself," Sora shouted out, and by the time I turned around the car was already taking off down the road.

Once inside my stuffy apartment, I was fully prepared to lounge around for the rest of the evening, just like every other normal day in my life. Except things weren't really normal anymore, and Sora's ridiculous offer of a night I'd never forget stuck with me. It lingered in my thoughts as I flopped down on my couch, and nagged at me the whole time I flipped through channel after channel of nothing to watch.

There was absolutely no way a night at my brother's house could prove to be anything more than _maybe_ slightly amusing, but that didn't stop the inexplicable urge I had to actually go. It certainly didn't explain why, suddenly, the idea of hanging around my apartment alone didn't seem all that appealing anymore.

Before I had time to dwell on it any longer or change my mind, I jumped off the couch, grabbed my keys and took off out the door. I made it down 2 flights of stairs and sprinted about halfway down the street before realizing just how out of shape I really was and had to stop for a second to catch my breath, hands on my knees. Eventually, I began moving again, at a much, much slower speed. And it was nice. Walking the practically empty streets of my always sleepy, little town was nice. I could have caught the bus or even called Sora up and begged him to come get me, but it was strange how those options never even crossed my mind.

As I continued down the street, watching the sun set in the sky and relishing the warm breeze that had picked up, my thoughts wandered to the past month of my life – working a job I couldn't stand, seeing the same people day after day, meeting the team…meeting Axel. It was strange how I'd spent my whole life pretty much alone, minus my three best friends, and avoiding any unnecessary contact with other people, avoiding getting involved in other people's lives and involving myself in things that had the potential to turn out bad, and, well… In a few short weeks, all of that had come undone.

Before I knew it, I was standing just outside of the huge wooden door that gave entrance to my brothers' apartment. Figuring I would just let myself in, since I had a key for emergencies and all, I opened the door. I was fully expecting to be greeted by my brother in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by his many game consoles, or finding him on the couch with the lights off and a giant bowl of popcorn on his lap, indicating one of his famous movie nights. But what I hadn't expected was exactly what I got, and that was an entire room full of Tigers' team members. Among them, a tall, annoying redhead whom I hadn't laid eyes on for days. When my gaze met his, my stomach fluttered, and I regretted ever showing up.

Hey, Roxas," Axel greeted me, like it was the most normal thing in the world to do, like I hadn't pissed him off and he hadn't been ignoring me for days. "Why don't you come and, you know, join us?" That obnoxious grin I thought I kinda missed until I saw it again broke out on his face, and it was then that I realized I was pretty much standing there, frozen and still hanging onto the open door.

It's just that I was a bit surprised is all. I mean, I knew Sora and the guys on the team had gotten along pretty well, but apparently, he'd grown a lot closer to them then I cared to take notice of, close enough to invite them to his house. Axel had even shown up, and as far as I knew, my brother and Axel had never met. Or maybe they had… It's not like I made an effort to involve myself in my brother's life any more than necessary, or even pay attention to him half the time, so it was very possible that he'd become just as friendly with Axel as he had with the rest of the team. And that bothered me.

Axel beckoned me over, and I stood there for a few moments longer before following his orders and, in a way completely unlike myself, like some loyal puppy, made my way over to him.

I took a good look around the room as I crossed the floor, noticing that Cloud and Zack were sharing one of the big, expensive chairs in the room, each of them occupying an arm. Marluxia was lounging on an identical chair that was off to the other side. My brother was sitting between Kairi and Riku on the couch, and it looked like the both of them were vying for his attention. Demyx was lying on the carpet next to the coffee table, head propped up against the front of the couch. And then there was Axel, leaning against the wall right next to a huge window that overlooked the city – the whole reason my brother had chosen that specific apartment.

"I thought you weren't coming?" Sora's voice was smug and completely unbecoming on him.

"I wasn't going to." Fidgeting with my hands, I glanced at Axel, who had been staring intently ever since my arrival.

"Well, I'm glad you did." Sora got up from his spot on the couch, and he looked quite eager to do so. Kairi and Riku took to bickering in his absence.

"I'm holding you to your word, you know," I said.

"What word?" His brow furrowed in obvious confusion. I sighed, completely unsurprised that he'd already forgotten.

"The most amazing night of my life, remember?"

"Whoa. Just hold on a minute here." Zack raised a hand in the air, looking around at everyone else. "I can't be the only one who thought that sounded dirty."

"It's because you're a disgusting pervert," Cloud said objectively.

"Hey!" Zack stood up immediately, hands on hips and glaring down at his teammate who wasn't even paying the slightest bit of attention. "A pervert, I may be. But I never have been, and never will be, disgusting."

Cloud rolled his eyes in response, and Zack made a flying leap for the blonde, tackling him to the floor. That captured the attention of everyone in the room, even Kairi and Riku who had been in the middle of a pretty heated spat. Sora slapped me on the back before heading back over to the couch. As he sat back down in-between his two friends, Kairi grabbed his arm to pull him closer. Riku rolled his eyes and leaned behind Sora, who was fixated on Cloud and Zack still rolling around on the floor, and whispered something to the girl that made her scowl back.

Finally, Cloud managed to make it to his feet and walked back over the chair without a word. Though his face was void of any emotions, the way his eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of his teammate rolling on the floor laughing gave away the fact that Zack was probably going to get it sometime in the near future. It was only after the talking and laughing had commenced once again, that I heard a whisper in my ear.

"We can still make this night amazing." My whole body went stiff, and I was almost afraid to turn around and see what I knew was waiting for me, but I did anyway. Axel was looking down at me with that stupid grin plastered on his face. And just when I thought my life couldn't get anymore confusing – it did, because Axel wasn't supposed to be standing there, teasing me after he'd been avoiding me for so long. I wasn't supposed to be in my brother's apartment surrounded by a bunch of people I normally wanted to avoid, and I certainly wasn't ever supposed to be thinking that Axel being there maybe, sorta, made it all worthwhile.

"What's your problem?" I blurted out before really thinking it through.

"I see you still can't take a joke." He laughed.

"_Still_ can't take a joke? Like you've known me for years instead of just a few weeks, in which I never really got to see you very much, anyway." I didn't realize how it came out until Axel's smile grew in size, looking like it might just split his face. I backed up, putting some space between us. "Not that I care if I see you or not." I scoffed. "Because I don't. And it's only called a joke when it's actually funny."

"I thought it was funny." Axel shrugged, and I was relieved that he let the other part go. "Maybe you should try getting a sense of humor. I think it would do you some good."

"What makes you an expert on something like that?" I frowned. "And how do you know what would do me good? You don't even know me."

He chuckled in a way that made me want to smack him right across the face, but also made my stomach feel like it was going to fall through my feet. "I know you take life too seriously." I opened my mouth to say something, but he spoke up again. "And I knew exactly the kind of reaction I was going to get from you."

I pouted, like the child I felt I still was sometimes, and crossed my arms over my chest. "You _don't_ know me."

The more Axel talked, the more he laughed and teased and acted totally and undeniably irritating unlike anyone I'd ever known, the more… I wanted to be around him, and that scared me.

"You only think that because you try your best to close yourself off and shut everyone out." His words left me speechless - because he was right. Obviously taking my silence as some kind of victory, Axel smiled and ruffled my hair. That broke me out of my shock, and I slapped his hand away. "But really, kid, you're an open book." He winked and turned to walk away.

I wanted to say something in response, to deny it all and tell him exactly how aggravating he really was, but all I could do was stand there and watch him walk away until he disappeared into the kitchen.

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

My brother's sudden outburst startled me out of the staring contest I was having with the kitchen door, and I turned around just in time to see him hop up on the couch and throw his arms in the air, bouncing around like the same kind of diseased monkey he resembled when hanging out of the car window at Sweet Tomatoes. The whole room went deathly silent, and my brother turned a bright shade of red.

"Or, well… You know." He struggled to find the words as he nervously tugged on one of his spikes. "Just, uh, turn the music on…or whatever."

He sat back down quickly and whispered something into Kairi's ear. The girl peered at Riku over Sora's shoulder, triumphant smile in place, before she turned to the rest of us. "Drinks are in the kitchen," she said in place of my brother, who had taken to sinking farther into the cushions. "There's food set up in there, too."

All of a sudden, something ice cold was pressed to my cheek, and I jumped right into the wall at my side. With my composure regained, I turned back around to see Axel offering me a drink.

"I figured you could do with some loosening up." He placed the bottle in my hand. "And what better way to do that than to get you all liquored up?"

I looked down at the object in my hand and scoffed – a strawberry wine cooler. "It's going to take a lot more than this to get me drunk."

"Yea, I figured," Axel said as he lifted the drink in his hand to take a look at it. "But that's all there was."

I laughed and popped the top off before bringing it to my mouth and taking a swig. "Leave it to my brother to only have some sissy ass drink like this in his kitchen." Sora wasn't much of a drinker - or a drinker at all, really - and he'd probably gone out and bought the alcohol specifically for his little get together, so it made sense that all he had to offer were some harmless, little wine coolers. It's not like I was an avid drinker or anything. In fact, I'd only been drunk once in my life, and that had been entirely Hayner's fault, but I did have more experience in the area than my innocent older brother.

"This place is pretty fancy," Axel commented, looking around the room.

"Yea." I hoped I didn't sound too jealous.

"Your family rich or something?" Axel stopped to stare at some boring painting, which rested on the wall opposite of where we were standing. I remembered going with my brother to buy the thing. The single most boring night of my life. Sora dragged me to some art show all the way out in Radiant Garden. We'd spent way too much time there, and he spent way too much money.

"Not really," I finally replied. "Sora just got to spend his tuition money on this place." Axel simply raised one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows and took a sip of his drink. "Sora is the smart one in my family." I continued, taking a glance over my shoulder at my brother. "He got a full scholarship to Hollow Bastion University."

Axel's eyes widened. "Damn, that's pretty impressive." I nodded and took another huge gulp of the wine cooler, wishing at that moment that it was something stronger. "Why does he live here when Hollow Bastion is like a million miles away?"

"He lives in a dorm at school," I said. "And only stays here during the summer."

"So he only lives here two months out of the year?" He laughed and switched his drink to the other hand. "That's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever heard." I glared because only _I_ was allowed to insult my brother, but Axel didn't even notice. "Why didn't he just buy something close to school, or, like, wait until he graduates to find a permanent place?"

I shrugged. "Sora loves it here. He always tells me that this is where his heart is, and he could never imagine living anywhere else."

"Ah." Axel nodded thoughtfully, before walking to the other side of the room. He stopped right in front of a huge glass door that led to the balcony and held his arm out, signaling for me to go first, like he was such a gentleman.

Again, I just stared. Did I really want to be alone with Axel? I almost wanted to laugh at…everything, but instead I pushed myself away from the wall and walked over to the door. No one seemed to notice, and I figured we wouldn't be missed too much if we left.

Once outside, I walked over to the edge of the balcony and rested my arms on the railing, breathing in the night air and listening to the sounds of the crickets, the muffled voices from beyond the closed door. It was dark by then. The stars that could always be seen so clearly during Twilight Town nights were twinkling, and the moon was shining down like a spotlight.

Axel walked over and leaned back against the railing, staring at the door and all of the people just beyond it. "What about you?" he asked out of nowhere. His voice was so quiet that I almost didn't hear.

"What about me?" I asked just as quietly.

"Do you wanna live here forever?"

"I don't know. Twilight Town is all I've ever known. It's familiar, easy." I stopped once I realized I was spilling my guts to someone else, and it wasn't even because of the alcohol in my hand. I was speaking to someone I barely knew, saying things I'd never pictured myself saying out loud, all on my own. "I…uh… I like familiar and easy."

He laughed quietly and took a sip of his drink. "Who doesn't?"

"What about you?" I faced him, genuinely interested in hearing his reply.

"Do I want to stay in Twilight Town for the rest of my life?" Axel tilted his head to the side, as if deep in thought. "Absolutely not!" He exclaimed, and though the smile that broke out on his face was the first genuine one I'd witnessed in weeks, I couldn't bring myself to smile back.

"Where…where are you gonna to go?" My voice was a lot smaller, a lot more pathetic than I'd ever allowed before, and I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear the answer.

"I'm not sure yet," he said, bringing the bottle to his lips and pouring the last of its contents down his throat. "First of all, though, I plan on making it to Luca." Luca was a big, wild city full of a million people and a billion different things to do. It was completely different from Twilight Town in every way, and the thing that bothered me most was the fact that it was thousands of miles away.

"Why Luca?"

"That's where the Major League team connected with the Tigers is. The Luca Lions." He made this little meowing sound that I would not have hesitated to inform him was completely stupid, if I hadn't felt so oddly disappointed. "So, like, I'll still be part of the cat family." He turned to me, and I looked down at my shoes.

"Oh." I wondered if Axel had noticed my sudden change in mood. "What about after Luca?"

"No idea." He set the empty bottle on the ground then ran a hand through his hair. "Baseball is a business. I go where I'm needed or wanted. I could be traded at any time. There really are no guarantees."

"And that doesn't bother you?" I asked.

He scoffed. "Uh…no. It's exciting. You know, getting to see so many different places, experience different things, all while doing something I love."

I looked down at the half-empty bottle in my hand, like it would give my some kind of courage to say what I wanted to get off of my chest. "I hate change." I'm not quite sure why I decided to confess that right then and there, and to Axel of all people, but we seemed to have a nice little conversation going. I mean, Axel was telling me about his dreams and expectations, and I just wanted to try joining in. It felt…safe, talking to him – like I knew I wasn't going to be judged.

"Why not?" His expression turned serious again, and I couldn't look him directly in the eye, unless I wanted to lose my nerve.

"I just don't." I shrugged and turned around to lean over the railing again. "It's too… It's just too hard."

Silence took over, and I could once again hear the commotion coming from inside. Kairi's voice rising above all others as she demanded everyone shut up so she could tell them something. I looked up into the night sky and thanked my lucky stars that I was being spared from that mess.

"So, what you're saying is you're scared of the unknown?" It had been quiet for so long that I'd almost forgotten I wasn't alone out there. "But the unknown isn't always bad." I turned to face Axel, but he was leaning back and looking up at the sky. "I mean, sure, there's a lot of shitty stuff out there – a lot. But if you're always hiding away from the bad, then you're missing out on the good, too." All I could do was stand there in silence as I listened to Axel talk – as he surprised me, yet again.

"Think about it," He nudged me with his elbow and nodded toward the door, where everyone could be seen through the glass. "Your job at the ballpark, meeting the greatest minor league baseball team of all time…" I shook my head and couldn't help the laughter that escaped. "All of those things were changes – unknowns. And they weren't so terrible, were they? Plus, if it weren't for all of those things falling into place like they did, we wouldn't be standing out here on this balcony together, talking like this without you looking like you want me dead."

I rolled my eyes. "I never wanted you dead." Axel laughed. "Badly injured, maybe. But dead? Nah."

"The point is, life is full of changes, kid," he said. "You just gotta learn to roll with 'em. Otherwise you'll be walking around all the time like you have a stick shoved up your ass. But wait…" I turned around slowly when I noticed the amusement growing in his voice and narrowed my eyes. "You already know all about that, don't ya?"

I lifted my hands to push him away and maybe off the balcony, but he grabbed ahold of my wrists and stopped everything, stopped the world. "Any moment can change your life. And in the end, you just may find something you never even knew you needed." And there were those green eyes again, sucking me in again and making me feel like they could see right through me – like Axel could read all of my thoughts, like he could see deep down into my soul. I felt naked, as if there was nothing I could hide, nothing he didn't know. But I didn't want to look away.

"This right here, us standing on your brother's balcony, talking – this could start something great. Just one moment is all it takes." His voice was barely above a whisper, as his hands tightened around my wrists. "But you'll never know what can be, if you keep running away."

When Axel finished talking, we just stood there for a few seconds, staring into each other's eyes. I too busy trying to remember how to breathe to even notice that his hand was running up the side of my arm. The haze in my mind was clouding up my usual thoughts and rational judgments, and when Axel's hand came to rest on my cheek, my legs felt like they might collapse right out from under me. When he leaned closer, so close that I could feel his breath ghosting across my face, I still couldn't bring myself to turn away. Gripping so tightly onto the railing that my knuckles were staring to turn white, I steadied myself and shut my eyes.

I don't know what I was expecting, or why the thought of Axel being so close sent chills down my spine like I'd never felt before, but before I knew it, the hand was removed from my cheek and the presence of another body was gone, just like that. When I opened my eyes, the only things I saw were Axel's back as he retreated into the apartment and the door swinging shut.

All I could do after that was stand there, unable to pry my eyes away from the door or remove my hand from the railing. Hours could have passed by, for all I knew, because time seemed to have no meaning anymore. The next thing I remember was the door opening and Sora walking out, looking a little worse for wear and eyeing me cautiously.

"Are you ok?" I nodded my head, refusing to look his way. "Axel said he saw you out here."

"Uh…yea," I finally said, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I just needed some fresh air."

"Why…don't you come inside with the rest of us?" I could hear the hesitance in his voice.

"I'm ok." I slid down to sit on the cement. "I'm just going to stay out here for a while longer."

There was concern in my brother's eyes, but he nodded curtly and slipped back through the door. Once I was alone again, I leaned back, finally letting out a shaky sigh I'd been holding in and looked back up to the stars.

Before that night, my sexuality had never been much of a question. I liked girls. At least I thought I did. So, I'd never actually had a girlfriend before, but that didn't stop Hayner and I from talking about all the hot girls we'd like to bang if we got the chance. Except, I never actually felt that way. I pretended a lot because Hayner constantly got on my case about my lack of experience with the opposite sex, and I didn't need him delving any deeper into that.

Girls were always just there – nice to talk to, sometimes ok to look at, but I never felt like I wanted anything more. There was this one time, though, where I decided to experiment in the joys of kissing with Olette, and it was, to say the absolute least, a tragedy. Not to mention, everything between us was weird for a good 3 months after that.

So, I suppose somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I was different, but I didn't see much need to dwell on it. The world was full of more important things to focus on than some stupid label. And it's not like I ever planned on falling in love, anyway. Not that I was in love with Axel. I wasn't that delusional, but I did feel something for him. I guess I kinda had since the very beginning, and after that night on my brother's balcony it was almost impossible to deny anymore.

I spent the rest of the night outside, waiting until everyone left to finally make my own exit. Axel never did come back out, and I just knew the next day at work was going to be even worse than usual.

* * *

It was some time after one in the afternoon. The baseball game was just entering the seventh inning, and Naminé was dealing with a particularly rude customer.

"I wanted three orders of fries," the man grumbled. "Not two! Was that really too difficult for you to comprehend?"

Naminé lowered her head, punching some buttons on the register." I'm sorry, sir. I'll fix that for you right away."

"Damn straight, you will!" He huffed, crossing his arms over his brawny chest. The small woman at his side placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off, and she shot an apologetic smile Naminé's way before walking away.

Kairi was staring sharp, pointy daggers at the guy, who didn't take any notice, before calling back to Xigbar. "We need an extra order o-"

"I heard him." Xigbar interrupted, already handing over the fries. "Goddamn loudmouth," he muttered.

Kairi handed the food to Naminé then leaned against the counter right in front of the customer. "That'll be five dollars," she said, as the blonde set the fries on the counter with the rest of the food.

"What?" The shout caused Naminé to jump back, but the guy just continued on being an asshole. "I'm not paying."

"Well, then you don't get the fries." Kairi picked up the container and shoved a couple fries in her mouth. The guy's face scrunched up, and he mumbled quite a few obscenities under his breath before he stuck a finger in Kairi's face.

"This was your mistake," he shouted. "I shouldn't have to pay for other people's mistakes!"

All of a sudden, Naminé backed away from the counter, clutching her stomach. I was off of my stool and at her side before I even knew what I was doing. "Are you all right?" A small groan was her only response as Kairi continued her battle with the customer.

"The only mistake made here was not being able to tell that you wanted _three _orders of fries when you clearly asked for two!"

"Listen here, little girl," he said, leaning over the counter so he and Kairi were practically nose to nose. "I'm going to inform your boss of what happened here today, and I'll be sure to specifically mention the little red-headed broad with the bad attitude.

"Broad?" Kairi's eyes widened and her hands curled up into fists. My brother was trying to hold her back, but it was clear she was about to break loose from his grip and climb over the counter. That is, until Naminé covered her mouth and took off out the side door, stopping everything.

After a few seconds of baffled silence, Kairi spoke up again. "See what you did?" Sora was still holding onto her even though the moment of her wanting to claw the guy's eyes out had clearly passed. "You went and upset the poor girl."

"I…" the man began to say, but stopped and threw a five dollar bill on the counter, picking up his tray and walking away.

Sora finally let go once the guy was out of sight. Kairi snatched up the money he'd left and moved over to the register, opening it. "The nerve of some people." She slammed the thing shut after putting the money inside, and rested her hip against the counter's edge. "I honestly don't know why I put up with this job sometimes."

At that moment, Sora dropped a couple of plastic cups he'd been trying to juggle and bent over to retrieve them. Kairi watched and smiled to herself. "Nevermind."

Gross.

I wonder what's wrong with Nmaine?" I asked in an attempt to forget that Kairi existed.

"What happened to Naminé?" Demyx appeared out of nowhere and jumped up to sit on top of the counter.

"First of all, you can't sit here." Sora poked the blonde in the back. "We're still open."

Demyx groaned and slid to the floor before twirling around to face us again. "I hate it when we're open."

"Secondly," Sora continued on, holding up two fingers for emphasis. "She ran out of here like a bat out of hell, covering her mouth."

"Holding onto her stomach, too," I added. "Maybe she's just coming down with something." Demyx seemed to agree with my theory and nodded his head.

"Or she could be pregnant," Kairi commented offhandedly, while pressing random buttons on the cash register. When her words were met with complete silence, she lifted her head off of her hand and looked around at everyone. "What?" And the silence lingered on. "Wow, wrong crowd. It's called a joke." Sora and Demyx laughed awkwardly, and the girl rolled her eyes. "You guys suck."

Naminé returned not very long after, perfectly composed and looking very much in good health. She grabbed her hat from the floor where it had fallen in her haste to get away and placed it back on her head.

"Are you doing ok?" Kairi asked, running a hand across her friend's back.

"Of course." Naminé gave a reassuring smile as she began retying her apron. "It was probably just something I ate."

That answer seemed to satisfy everyone - everyone except me because I hadn't seen Naminé put one piece of food in her mouth all day long. But I kept it to myself and the rest of the afternoon flew by without consequence.

As had come to be expected, when the game was over and we were busying ourselves with the cleaning process, the small group of Tigers players came to visit. And that time, Axel was among them.

"Yo, guys!" Zack ran over ahead of everyone else. "I have a totally awesome idea."

"Should we be scared?" Sora asked, pausing in his attempts to wipe down the counter.

The third baseman feigned hurt and just as he opened his mouth his mouth to reply, Riku walked up behind him. "Yes, you should be."

Zack turned around to make some kind of retort, but I'd already stopped caring, and all of my attention was focused on the redhead who appeared right in front of me. Seeing Axel again, after the night before, made me feel like I wanted to turn and run away. Maybe I could do just that and then play it off like I'd caught something from Naminé… Green eyes studied me carefully, and I felt like I might die.

"Hey…" Axel walked a few steps closer to the counter.

"H...hi." I offered some weird half-smile and cast my eyes down to the floor.

"So, how are things?" It was almost funny how the both of us were pretending as if nothing happened.

"Ok. I mean- good. Everything is…" I lifted my head, and the small smile on Axel's face made me feel more at ease. "Everything is good."

"Yes, we'll do it!" My brother's shout interrupted, and I looked over to see him bouncing on his heels and rubbing his hands together.

"We'll do what?" I asked, a little nervous about anything Zack could come up with that could get my brother so excited.

"Play baseball." And Sora was gone in a flash, leaping over the counter and scampering about the hallway.

"What…?"

"Zack's idea," Axel told me. "He thinks it would be fun for all of us to play a game of baseball out on the field."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "And we're allowed to do that?"

"Not usually, no," Zack answered. "But I've been working on wearing Cid down for a while now –"

"Yea, him and the rest of the world," Riku said nonchalantly.

"Anyway," Zack turned to give his friend a quick glare. "I think I finally got to him. That, and he's probably just getting softer with age, because he's allowing us to use the field today."

"We can't play in these clothes, though." I pulled at my ugly uniform shirt.

"Don't worry about it," Cloud said, and I figured if even he was going along with the whole plan, then it must be safe. "We have a ton of uniforms in the clubhouse."

"Yea, I'm sure we can even find some small enough to fit you two." Riku laughed as he gestured toward Sora and me.

"Just not any of Riku's." Zack smirked, and Riku's laughter came to an abrupt halt. "Cause, you know, his uniforms have to be specially made to fit that gigantic ass of his." The catcher frowned and shoved Zack into the wall with his hip as he moved past him.

"Where are Demyx and that one emo kid he always hangs out with?" He stopped to take a sweeping glance over the area. "You know who I'm talking about, right? Sexy, or something like that."

"It's Zexion," two voices said in unison. There, entering from opposite sides, were Demyx and Zexion. Both seemed to be frozen in place, staring at each other. Zexion was the first to regain his composure and move forward. "And I regret the accusation that I'm emo."

"Ok, well we need you two to make our teams a little more like a typical baseball team," Zack informed.

"Is this not a baseball stadium? Aren't you part of a team of guys who, you know, play the sport for a living that would be willing to help out?" Zexion tried to move past, but Zack blocked the way. "I don't play baseball,' he said, before calmly shoving past and leaning back against the wall.

"But we need you." Zack was almost pouting by that time.

"Please, Zexion." Sora attempted to use his sad, little puppy dog eyes, but they weren't working.

Zexion was unwavering in his decision to steer clear of the baseball field, no matter how hard the group of us tried to convince him. I even tried to persuade him at one point, and despite the slightly surprised expression, he still refused. It wasn't until Demyx spoke up that things changed.

"C'mon, Zex." He walked over toward the mascot. "It could be…fun?" It took a few more minutes of convincing from Zack and Riku, but Zexion finally sighed, agreeing to join in.

"The girls can be cheerleaders or something," Zack suggested as he began to walk away.

"Whoa!" He stopped and turned around as Kairi hopped over the counter, barreling right towards him. "So you're saying that because I'm a girl, I can't play, that I'm no good at it?"

"That's not what I said at all." Zack laughed nervously, peering down at girl who was eyeing him murderously. Riku was standing back, doing nothing to hide the amusement on his face. He was well aware that his friend was about to witness the wrath of a crazy woman scorned.

"Oh, but I think you did, and I want to tell you something right now, _Zack_." She thrust a finger against his chest. "When we get out there on that field, this little cheerleader is going to kick. Your. Ass." With that, she stomped past him and halfway down the hall before turning back around, smiling sweetly. "Where are we going, exactly?" Riku and Cloud left to go show her the way, and Sora, Demyx and Zexion followed.

"So…Naminé, you can play, too, if you want," Zack offered, smiling sheepishly.

"I…" She began, but looked over at Marluxia who had been so quiet I forgot he was even there. "I better not." She walked away down the hall, and Marluxia followed a few feet behind her.

"Ok, then, guys." Zack slapped Axel and me on the back. "Let's go!"

* * *

We were all led down to the clubhouse, which was a lot nicer than I'd imagined. Cloud gave us uniforms to put on and told us to just go ahead and change in the locker room. Kairi was lucky enough to be a girl, and therefore got to change in the bathroom. I wasn't even entirely comfortable stripping down in front of my own brother, let alone a bunch of other people, so I moved to a corner of the room that was somewhat concealed by a row of lockers and changed there.

Once finished, I walked out to the field to meet up with the rest of the team. Axel was standing right at the top of the dugout, and when I walked over to stand by his side, he eyed me up and down. "You look hot." His eyes widened. "Nice," he corrected. "You look nice."

"Uh...thanks," I said quietly, trying to hide the blush I knew was spreading over my cheeks.

"I look absolutely ridiculous," Zexion complained, as he made his way out of the dugout. Sora was right behind, pushing him forward.

"For the last time, you look fine," my brother said, giving Zexion one last shove.

"Let's do this," Kairi shouted, running out onto the field and pumping her fist in the air. There was a strip of eye black painted under each of her eyes, even though the afternoon sun had long since disappeared. She slowed down as she passed by Zack, pointing at him wordlessly.

Eventually, when things settled down, we were divided into teams. Cloud was a captain of one team, and Riku was in charge of the other. In the end, Cloud's team consisted of himself and me in the outfield, Zack at third, Axel shortstop, Zexion at first base, Marluxia as the pitcher, and another Tigers team member we hadn't met previously, Wakka, as the catcher. Riku's team was made up of himself as the catcher, Sora at shortstop, Kairi and Demyx in the outfield, Tidus at first, and, Leon, another player we hadn't met, as the pitcher. And, somehow, Zack had managed to convince Xigbar to act as the umpire.

Cloud insisted that since there was no home or away team, and Riku and Zack were already starting to quarrel over who went first, a game of rock, paper, scissors would be the solution. Riku's team ended up winning, so as they got ready to take their turns at bat, I made my way to the outfield.

I watched as Kairi walked up to the plate. She made a point to glare Zack's way before facing toward the pitcher's mound. "Bring it!" She was so loud, I could hear her words clearly from all the way out in right-center field. Marluxia wound up and threw the pitch to home plate. It was a ball.

"Is that all you got?" The girl shouted out, hitting the end of her bat against the dirt. "I said bring it, you frilly-haired, pansy ass Mama's boy!" Zack and Axel looked at each other, barely able to contain their laughter by that point.

The next time, Marluxia threw a fastball, and before Kairi had a chance to really take a full swing, Xigbar was calling out that it was a strike.

"You're blind, old man," she said, setting the bat on her shoulder and turning back to face the pitchers mound, completely missing the rude gesture Xigbar sent her way. "That ball was _at least_ a foot outside."

The next pitch Marluxia threw was a curve-ball, and to my – and probably everyone else's - surprise, Kairi hammered it. The ball flew through the air, right in my direction, and I tired my best to follow it but just wasn't fast or coordinated enough, and it wound up going over my head. In a last ditch attempt to catch it, I leaned back and fell right on my ass. Kairi was cackling like a maniac and rounding first base when Cloud ran over and picked up the ball, throwing it as fast as he could to where Axel was waiting. Just as the ball landed in Axel's glove, Kairi was sliding feet first into second base and made it just under the tag.

"Safe!" Kairi jumped to her feet, pumping her fist in victory. "Suck on that!"

Axel ignored her completely, throwing the ball back to Marluxia as my brother stepped up to the plate. All the pitcher had to do was throw three fastballs by him, and Sora was done.

The first half of the inning came to an end, but not before Kairi made it home, thanks to Riku's two out double. So the score was one to nothing when I walked up to the batter's box.

Holding the bat out in front of me with shaky hands, I let out a sigh. Somehow, I managed to settle my nerves enough to lift the bat over my shoulder and focus on the pitcher. The first pitch he threw was a fastball that I swung at, but the only thing I hit was air. The second was a slider way out of the strike zone that I, unfortunately, swung at again.

"That thing was almost in the dugout, and he's trying to hit it." Riku laughed from his catcher's position behind me. I was already behind and could feel the strikeout coming. There were no doubts in my mind that I was going to have to walk back to over to my team in shame.

"Watch the ball as it comes out of his hands," Axel called out from the dugout steps. "Just focus on that and relax. Don't try so hard." I looked over at him and nodded then concentrated as hard as I could on Leon's hand as he started his wind-up, blocking out any other distractions or anxieties I felt. "I know you can do it, Roxas." That was the only thing I heard before the ball was coming at me.

And it was almost like it all happened in slow motion. Leon slinging his arm out toward me, the ball flying out of his hand and spinning through the air – the way it started out high and, as it got closer, began to sink. I swung with all my might, and when I heard the crack of the bat and cheering coming from my team's dugout, I took off running. When I got to first base, Kairi was throwing the ball back to the infield.

"Good job," Tidus said, standing right behind first base. "You just got your first hit."

Then it was Axel's turn at bat, and I couldn't help but feel sort of nervous for him, despite our little game not meaning a thing. The first pitch Leon threw was a strike, the second was a ball, and the third one Axel actually got a piece of. I took off running for second base, strangely elated by his small victory. Until, Sora scooped the ball up and stepped on the bag before throwing it to Tidus on first, successfully completing the double play. Walking back to the dugout, Axel kept his head down and didn't say a word.

Zexion was the last to bat in the inning, and he was out before he even lifted the bat off of his shoulder. "I told you," he said, sticking his bat back into the correct slot. "I don't play baseball."

The second inning started off with a single by Tidus. Kairi could be heard cheering and shouting about how her team was so much better than ours, specifically calling out Zack on multiple occasions, but she was ignored.

When Demyx took his turn at bat, he appeared to be a lot more comfortable at the plate than the rest of us non-professionals, just like Kairi had. The first pitch was a ball that Marluxia apparently didn't agree with, because he put up a bit of a fight with Xigbar, that I couldn't really hear from the outfield, before settling down again. He was pitching from the stretch that time, having to keep an eye on Tidus in case he decided to steal. And Tidus was at an advantage because Marluxia was right-handed, meaning his back was towards first base.

Once Marluxia lifted his foot off the ground, starting his next pitch, Tidus took off for second base. The pitch was called a strike, and as soon as it landed in Wakka's glove, he grabbed it and threw it over to Axel at second. The ball beat Tidus by a mile, and after sliding into the base, he just laid there on the ground.

At first, way out in the outfield like I was, I wasn't sure of exactly what happened, but then I saw Tidus doubled over in pain and everyone running over to him. I hurried over, as well, trying to squeeze through the small crowd that had formed around him. Cloud was there, kneeling beside his teammate in an instant.

"Back up," he ordered. "Give him some room to breathe." Tidus' breaths were shallow as he rolled over to sit upright. Cloud studied the blonde's ankle and placed a hand on his back. "We need to get him to the hospital."

"Right." Zack nodded and headed to the dugout. Before disappearing through the exit, he called out over his shoulder, "I'll call an ambulance."

I'm not going to lie, when I saw Tidus hit the ground and not get up, when I saw his ankle swelling and face scrunched up in obvious agony, I was scared. I kept thinking to myself that that one injury could mean the end of his career, a career that was just getting started. And it could have been anyone on the team. It could have been Axel.

We waited by the outskirts of the field when the paramedics arrived and hauled Tidus away on a stretcher. As he was wheeled by us, he feigned a smile "Don't worry…" He stopped to take a breath. "Don't worry about me."

After the paramedics left, Cloud announced that he was heading straight to the hospital and asked if anyone else would like to join him. Everyone, of course, agreed, and we all made our way out to the parking lot, not even bothering to take the time to change back into normal clothes. Cloud left with Zack, Zexion and Marluxia. Sora wound up taking Riku and Kairi, who bickered over which one would get the front seat, and Demyx volunteered to take Naminé on home because she was feeling sick again.

I assumed, for whatever reason, that I would be getting a ride from Axel. So, after everyone left and we just stood there, I didn't know what the hell was going on.

"Aren't you going?" I asked, and Axel just started back toward the entrance of the stadium.

"No." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I mean, I hardly even knew Tidus and being the heartless bastard that I was most of the time, I still felt like I had to go and make sure he was alright.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" I stalked after him, voice raised in a way I wasn't used to.

"I mean what I said." He turned back around sharply, expression stern. "I'm not going."

"Why the hell not?" I was acting crazy, demanding answers from someone who didn't owe me an explanation about something that really wasn't any of my business.

"I don't do hospitals." The way Axel was remaining so calm while I was practically losing my mind in the middle of that empty parking lot got under my skin and made everything feel a thousand times worse.

"You don't do hospitals?" I gave a wry laugh. "Your teammate – your friend – is in the hurt, and you're…you're just freaking standing there and telling me you don't _do hospitals_?"

"You catch on quickly," he said flatly and turned on his heels again, but that time I grabbed his arm before he could get too far.

"What's wrong with you?" I probably should have been asking myself the same question.

"Nothing is _wrong_ with me, Roxas."

"Then go to the hospital." It was a plea, a desperate, pathetic attempt to make him change his mind.

"I can't, ok? Why is that so hard for you to understand?" He yanked his arm out of my grasp, and it was like we'd gone back in time to when I'd been left behind at the restaurant, when he'd looked so beaten down by my words. "I just can't go."

And then he was walking away again, and the only thing I could bring myself to do was watch him go.


	5. Fireworks

I finally made it to the hospital by way of bus and met up with my brother and the rest of the group. It was kind of funny to walk into that waiting room and see the bunch of them all dressed in baseball uniforms and taking up most of the area. When Sora noticed my arrival, he waved me over and forced me to sit down in the chair right next to his.

"He's having x-rays done right now," he said, as I settled into the seat. "That's all we know."

I nodded my head in response and sunk deeper into the chair. I was there for Tidus. He was the reason I'd gotten so angry with Axel. He was why I hadn't given a second thought to taking the bus or spending my evening in a hospital of all places. But I couldn't keep my mind off of Axel.

"Cloud says not to worry too much," Sora continued, oblivious to all the turmoil I was going through, which was strange. "He said, at worse, Tidus'll probably just be out for the rest of the season. So that's kinda good, right?

"Yea, good."

Sora scanned the area suddenly, twisting in his seat to get a good look at every corner of the room. "Where's Axel?" Before I had the chance to reply, Riku spoke up.

"Don't expect him to show up."

"Why?" I blurted out, barely allowing him a chance to finish speaking. Riku eyed me strangely.

"Uh…well," he began, but I interrupted.

"What's wrong with him? Does it have something to do with that meeting with the coach the other day?" I kept on pressing relentlessly, and I knew I was being obnoxious, but I couldn't stop myself. I needed to know what was going on.

"Take a frickin' chill pill, dude. Axel's fine." Zack was sprawled out over his chair. One of his legs was up over the arm and the other was resting on the table in front of him, knocking a few magazines to the floor.

"If he's fine like you say, then why won't you tell me why he wouldn't come to the hospital?"

"Because, Roxas, it's not our place to tell." It was obvious Cloud was becoming annoyed with me. And who could blame him? Even _I_ was disgusted by my behavior. "Why don't you just ask him yourself?"

It was a simple question with a complicated answer – because everything in my life had become complicated. And with the way someone usually as tolerant as Cloud looked to be on the verge of telling me off, I couldn't bring myself to explain that I'd already tried asking and it got me nowhere, couldn't bring myself to apologize for making everything all about me when Tidus was somewhere in that hospital, waiting to hear when or if he'd be able to play baseball again. And it was probably the first time I'd ever felt bad for putting myself first.

The doctor walked out at that moment, thankfully stopping the rising tension, and Cloud went over to speak with him.

"Coach Xemnas isn't gonna be happy about this." Riku stood and stretched his arms above his head.

"Yea, pretty sure Saïx is going to have his say, too," Zack added.

"I swear he's more than just the bench coach. Cause him and Xemnas are, like, always together – if you know what I mean?" Riku wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and laughed when Zack started making gagging noises."

"You," Zack pointed at his friend. "Are a sick man." He lifted his leg off the table and nudged Riku in the back. "We have to see them every day, and those are not images I need stuck in my brain."

Kairi entered the room with Zexion in tow. I'd almost forgotten that the two of them had tagged along, as well. "We got snacks," the girl said, laying an armful of junk food of the vending machine variety onto the table. She picked up two bags of chips and walked over to where Sora and I were seated, handing one to my brother. Taking a seat on the arm of my brother's chair, she looked over at me. "Oh, sorry, Roxas. I figured you weren't coming, so I only got enough for the rest of us."

"Here." My brother held out his already open bag of chips. "You can have mine."

"No, I'm fine." My stomach was already feeling sick enough without the addition of food.

When Cloud came back, he informed us that Tidus had broken his ankle, and though he would be fine and was able to go home the next day, baseball wouldn't be an option until next spring. It was relatively good news, considering all the possible outcomes. And I was relieved. Maybe I didn't know Tidus that well, but he was part of the Tigers, and somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, I had become fairly attached to them.

Cloud and the rest of the team went to go visit with their first basemen. According to the doctor, he hadn't stopped begging to see his friends since his arrival. With nothing else for the rest of us to do, we decided to call it a day and head on home. Kairi had to be dropped back off at the stadium because she'd left her car there when she rode with Sora to the hospital. When we pulled into the parking lot, even though I knew it was pointless and stupid, I scanned the area for a head of bright, red hair. Kairi offered to drive Zexion home, so my brother would have less traveling to do, and I honestly took some pity on him. Having to be around Kairi for an extended period of time, let alone with her behind the wheel of a car, sounded like pure torture.

"Let's just hope he makes it home alive," I said once the other two were out of sight and Sora was starting his car. "He'll be lucky to come out of that situation only slightly traumatized." Sora gave a tiny snicker.

"Why do you hate Kairi so much?" he asked.

"I don't hate her." And it came as a surprise that my words were actually true. Yea, the girl was borderline psychotic and could be a real pain in the ass pretty much all the time, but I didn't hate her. "She's aggravating as hell, but - I mean, if she wasn't around, who would be left for me to rag on?"

"But why does she annoy you so much?" I turned to look at my brother and noticed his tight grip on the steering wheel and the way he refused to look anywhere but straight ahead.

"The better question is: why does it bother you so much?" I smirked when his shoulders tensed just slightly. "You got a crush on her or something? You buying what she's selling?"

He scoffed. "No." But then he glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. "But, and this is purely hypothetical, what if I did?"

"It wouldn't surprise me, to be honest," I said. "I've always assumed that you had a little something for her crazy ass, but that doesn't make it any less vomit-inducing." Sora didn't respond. "So…you really like her?"

"No, I don't!" he protested a little too quickly. "It was _hypothetical_, Roxas. I just wanted to get your reaction."

"Oh…sure." I grinned. "That's all it was."

When the inside of the car fell into silence and as we made our way down the darkened streets of Twilight Town, I turned to look out the window. Just before we reached my street, when Sora had flicked on the turn signal and was preparing to make the turn, I realized that the idea of going back to my little apartment didn't feel so comforting anymore. Not after a day like I'd just had.

"Can I – I mean, would you mind if I stayed at your place tonight?" I asked, not even having to look at my brother to know that surprise was written all over his face.

"Uh…yea, sure. Of course you can stay." His voice was full of shock, just as I'd expected. "But, um, if you don't mind me asking… Why?"

"Because I don't wanna be alone."

And without another word, Sora drove past my street.

That night, my brother had the brilliant idea of preparing a huge dinner in celebration of my decision to stay over. But there was one hitch in his pig plan; he sucked at cooking. I was forced to sit in the living room and watch TV because Sora had banned me from the kitchen, insisting he do everything on his own. And I obeyed his orders…for a while. I stayed seated when I heard a loud crash and some muffled grumbling, I even tried to ignore when I heard some sort of screeching noise, but once the smoke alarm started going off and I smelled something burning, I knew I couldn't let it go on any longer.

As I pushed my way through the kitchen door, I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing – because even though my brother was the shittiest cook in the history of man, certainly even he couldn't have turned the kitchen into that much of a disaster. Various kinds of food and cooking utensils littered every available space, pots and pans covered the stove, there was a bowl on the table containing something that may have once been edible, and right in front of the stove, sitting on the floor and pouting, was Sora. He was covered from head to toe in every cooking substance imaginable, there were stains on his clothes that would probably never wash out, and even his usually perfect spikes were drooping.

"Good thing I got here before things got too out of hand," I said sarcastically, walking further into the kitchen and making sure to pay special attention to my feet, as to not step in any of the various puddles spread out over the floor.

Sora dropped his head to his hands. "I fail at life." I had to stop myself from laughing because he looked so much like a little kid in that moment.

"Please, Sora. You hardly fail at life." I bent down to pick up a stray fork. "Look at that Ivy League college you got into and this gigantic apartment of yours. You just lack cooking skills." I nudged my brother over with my foot and cleared off the stove, searching for a clean pan. When I walked over to the sink and started filling it up with water, Sora rose up from the floor.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It's not obvious?" I carried the pan back over to the stove and turned on the burner, Sora staring blankly at me all the while. "I'm cooking…Duh."

Without a protest, Sora left me to make dinner while he went to go take a shower, and during that time I'd already finished preparing the food and had it all set out on the coffee table in the living room. My brother came out of the hallway, rubbing a towel through his water-drenched spikes. "Why is the food in here?"

"Because your kitchen looks like a freaking war zone." I set a couple of glasses onto the table. "Plus, it's comfortable in here."

"But we're supposed to eat in the kitchen." He threw the soggy towel onto the arm of the couch. "Dinner takes place in the kitchen."

"Who says?" I picked up my bowl and leaned back against the cushions.

"I don't know." He threw his arms up. "It's just, like, the rules of life!"

"Well, we're breaking that rule tonight." I grinned as Sora plopped down next to me on the couch. "Might as well, seeing as me willingly staying at your place is like the biggest breaking of any rule in the history of ever." He looked down at the bowl in my hands and back to my face, just as I was about to take a bite of food. "What?"

"Macaroni and cheese?" He asked in disbelief. "You made macaroni and cheese for my big celebration dinner?"

"Hey." I pointed my fork at him. "There is nothing wrong with what I fixed. And at least I made something edible without attempting to burn this entire complex to the ground." Sora narrowed his eyes at me momentarily then sighed in defeat and picked up his food.

"If only I was better at cooking." He shoved his fork into the bowl then lifted it up, staring at the cluster of yellow noodles hanging from it.

"Yea, well, you can't be good at everything." I finally took a bite and spoke again with my mouth full. "So…what? Do you wanna watch TV or something?"

"No," Sora said flatly. "This is dinner, and you're supposed to talk at dinner."

I rolled my eyes at his need to do everything properly. "Ok, then. What do you want to talk about?"

"Axel." I froze at the sound of the name, fork hanging halfway out of my mouth.

Swallowing, I replied as calmly as possible. "What about him?"

"I dunno…" He shrugged and looked down to his bowl. "What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing…is going on between us." Unfortunately, even with all the changes happening in my life, I still didn't posses the ability to fool my brother. "Why would you even ask?"

"So, all that stuff back there at the hospital – you practically losing it. That was nothing?" So he actually had taken notice of how crazy I was acting.

I couldn't take the way he was staring at me anymore, so I kept my silence and reached for the remote, turning the TV on and hoping to distract my brother from going any further into a conversation I would never be able to make it through without regretting my decision to stay and ruining what had been, up to that point, a semi-decent evening. I knew that Sora could see right through everything I said, or didn't say. He knew something was going on between Axel and I, be it friendship or something more, but he didn't say anymore on the subject.

Several times during the night, I'd chance a glance over at my brother to find him looking right back at me, but we never opened our mouths to speak. I don't think we really had to, because everything that probably should have been spoken was already said through that special connection we shared. That's how the rest of the night was spent – us just sitting there on the couch, a comfortable silence between us as we watched television and ate the whole pan of macaroni and cheese. And there was nowhere else I wanted to be.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to sound of my phone vibrating, informing me that I had a text message. Apparently, I had fallen asleep during the marathon of CSI because I woke up on the couch, covered in a blanket that Sora must have laid over me before going to bed. Freeing myself from said blanket proved to be quite difficult in my sleepy state, but eventually I was able to escape its clutches and reach for my phone. The number on the screen was unfamiliar, and considering I hardly ever used the thing or gave out the number, it was a little surprising.

"_I'm sorry._" Was all the message said, no name or indication of who it was. Although, if my brain hadn't still been overcoming the haze of sleep, I probably could have taken a guess. Instead, I just sent back a message asking who it was and set the phone back down. I tried desperately to rub the sleep out of my eyes with the palms of my hands and stood up to stretch right as my phone went off again.

The message I received that time was only one word, but that one word was all it took to make my world start spinning. "_Axel_."

As soon as I felt like I could function normally and come up with a reply that wouldn't make me seem like an idiot, I began typing back. "_How did you get my number?_" I hit send and walked over to the huge window to take a look outside. The sun wasn't very high up in the sky yet, but its glow still lit up the small town below. Everything about Twilight Town seemed so peaceful, so ideal, when looking at it from above like I was – the near identical houses all in neat little rows, the people just beginning to wake up to another lazy summer day.

Before long, Axel sent back his reply. "_From Sora. Is that a problem_?" I sent a simple 'no' before pocketing the phone and heading down the hall for my nosy brother's room.

When I opened the door, he was sitting upright but still completely covered by a sheet. There was no acknowledgement of my presence in the room, so I slammed the door and watched as he tumbled to the floor. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well, I _was_ trying to go to back to sleep." He lay motionless on the floor.

"But you were sitting up." I walked over and ripped the sheet off. He sprang to his feet, grabbing it out of my hands and wrapping it back around his shoulders.

"What was that for?" he asked, pout on his lips and eyes barely able to stay open.

"You." I pointed a finger at him, and he took a few guarded steps back. "You gave Axel my number."

"Well…he asked for it. And, you know, I – I thought you guys were friends." After running a hand through his spikes and offering a sheepish smile he walked over to the closet and pulled out his uniform.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say once the heat of the moment had passed. I wasn't upset, and really hadn't been that much in the first place. I was actually sorta glad that my brother stuck his nose in, but old habits die hard.

After getting dressed, I caught up with Sora in the kitchen where he insisted that I eat something because 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day'. I tried to tell him I didn't want anything, but my brother, being who he was, would not let me step one foot out the door until I agreed. We bickered over that for a while before Sora realized we were running late for work and finally gave up, shoving a poptart in my hand and dragging me to the car.

We made it to the Stadium just in time. Sora was freaking out the entire time we walked through the halls, and when we made it to the concession stand, there was Kairi, arms crossed over her chest, staring us down pretty heatedly.

"Where have you to been?" Sora attempted to respond, but nothing that came out of his mouth was coherent in any way. I kept quiet and sat down on my stool in the corner. "You know Cid doesn't like it when people are late," she scolded and grabbed a hold of my brothers' arm. I don't want you to get fired, Sora. I'll just die if I have to work here without you."

"Or you could just quit," I offered. Kairi glared at me.

"Don't worry," Sora said cheerfully. "No one's going to get fired." His smile fell when he noticed the empty space next to him. "Where's Naminé?"

"She called me this morning," Kairi informed while retying her apron, tugging on the loops until they were exactly the same size. "Said she got the day off because she wasn't feeling well…again."

"It's weird," I said, catching both Kairi and Sora's attention. "She switched between completely healthy to puking her guts out, like, 100 times yesterday."

"Well, you know how girls can be," Sora joked, and Kairi slapped him on the arm. "Always making a big deal out of nothing."

They continued their nauseating flirting until, thankfully, the customers started approaching, signaling the start of our day – a day which dragged on in the most boring of ways. Customers were few and far between, so most of our time was spent with mindless chatter and the baseball game on TV. At the end of it all, breaking the monotony of the day, we were visited by Zack and Riku.

"Before you ask, Tidus is doing fine," Riku informed us, as he walked over.

"Yea, we heard the little shit was driving the nurses crazy with his constant complaints and demands, and they were more than glad to see him go." Zack laughed. "Can't really blame him, though. I'd probably be acting like a bitch, too, if I couldn't play baseball."

"You already can't," Riku teased, and Sora interrupted any further retorts.

"That's good to hear." He made his exit through the side door, joining up with the two teammates on the other side of the counter. "I'm glad his injury wasn't too serious. It looked really bad when it first happened."

"You can't keep someone like Tidus down - at least not for very long." The Tigers' catcher patted my brother on the shoulder.

"Yea, you can bet that even if the doctor had told him he'd never play again, Tidus would find a way," Zack added then turned to look at me, eyes lighting up and mischievous grin forming on his lips. "Axel wanted to see you today." I froze in my action of refilling the napkin dispenser and was intensely aware of everyone's eyes suddenly on me. "But…coach suggested he take in some extra practice. Just thought you might want to know." I nodded wordlessly, and everyone turned away, but I felt my brother's gaze linger on me for a just a bit longer.

"So!" Zack clapped his hands together. "You guys know how the 4th of July is in like…" He trailed off, counting on his fingers. Riku rolled his eyes and cut in to help.

"Three days." Zack pointed at the catcher with a nod.

"Yea, what about it?" Kairi asked, sweeping one last area of the floor and setting the broom to the side.

"Every year Cid holds this sort of…"

"Celebration," Zack finished for his friend. "It's a huge thing for us, and a bunch of people always come to sit in the stands and watch the firework show."

"Yea, good old Cid is usually a stick in the mud, but for some reason he likes to go all out with the fireworks," Riku said. "And the stadium really is the best place in town to watch 'em."

"So let me guess." I took off my hat and hopped over the counter. "You guys want us to go?"

"Exactly!" Zack grinned at me, bouncing in place.

"Well, I'm up for it." Kairi finally left the stand, joining the rest of us in the hall. "Of course, that is if Sora's going, too." She looked to my brother, batting her eyelashes, but he brushed past her without a glance and ran over to Riku. Her eyes widened in shock at first, then narrowed into tiny slits as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Big fireworks?" Sora's face was aglow like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Oh, yea." Riku was clearly amused by my brother's reaction. "Huge."

Sora then proceeded to bound around the hall, glee practically radiating off of him, before coming to a stop. With a straight face, he looked to Riku and Zack. "Sounds fun. We'll be there."

"So how about you, Roxas?" Riku raised an eyebrow and leaned over so his face was level with mine, and I knew it was more than just an innocent question. "Axel will be severely disappointed if you're not there."

"What makes you think I care" I backed away and fixed him with a stare that I hoped was at least a little intimidating. With the way he snickered and looked at Zack knowingly, I knew it hadn't worked.

"Hey, no need to get so defensive." Riku shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning to walk away. "I just thought you might like to know," he called out over his shoulder before disappearing.

Zack said his hasty goodbyes and scampered away after Riku. That left me standing there with a fuming Kairi and a brother who was oblivious to it all. After several failed attempts at getting Sora's attention – stomping her foot, clearing her throat, shooting heated looks his way - Kairi stormed off with a huff. Not too long after that, Sora and I left, as well. He wouldn't stop rambling about the upcoming 4th of July celebration we'd been invited to as we traversed down the halls of the stadium and eventually made it out to the parking lot where we ran into Demyx and Zexion. My brother got even more excited when he spotted them and ran over, explaining everything we'd just heard from Zack and Riku, doing his best to imitate all the fireworks he was sure we'd be seeing.

After that disturbing display, Sora drove me home. And I was actually quite surprised that he managed to function normally behind the wheel. I made the decision to stay at my place that night in order to avoid anymore of my brother's pretend firework displays or dinner surprises gone awry. I loved my brother, but there was only so much I could take. And besides, I just needed to be alone for a while with my thoughts. My tiny apartment was the perfect place for solitude.

* * *

The afternoon of the 'fireworks extravaganza', as Sora had dubbed it, I found myself sitting in his kitchen – along with Kairi, of course. We'd promised to meet Zexion, Demyx and the rest of the team at the stadium at 8 PM sharp. My brother, being who he is, wanted to leave as soon as I walked through the front door, but I informed him that it was broad daylight and setting off fireworks while the sun was still out was completely pointless. Kairi added that the gates to the stadium wouldn't even be open that early in the day, and we'd be the only lunatics waiting around outside. I refrained from pointing out that no matter what time we showed up, there would always be at least one lunatic in our group.

Finally, we got Sora to agree that seven o'clock, when the gates opened, would be a reasonable time to show up at the ball park. That way, at least we'd be able to walk around inside and find our seats to pass the time. In the meantime, though, he was spastically running around the apartment, unable to sit still or keep the words 'fireworks extravaganza' out of his mouth for even 2 seconds. Kairi and I were seated on a pair of stools. She had planted hers right next to my brother's cupboards, so she could rummage through them and rearrange all his dinnerware. I was keeping myself busy by flipping through a few cookbooks I'd found lying by the stove. Apparently, Sora had been studying.

"Ooh, that looks really good." Kairi pointed to the chocolate cake recipe I'd stopped at. "God, I could so go for something sweet right now."

"I'm sure you could…" I muttered, keeping my eyes on the pages of the book.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I looked up to see that she had stopped her rearranging and was holding onto a blue bowl. "Are you trying to say I'm fat?" I laughed, which caused her lips to purse.

"I'm just saying you eat like a cow." I swear she was about to lunge at me at any moment. "But, by some miracle, you manage to stay so unnaturally thin."

She scoffed and set the bowl in the cupboard before taking it back out again and finding another place for it underneath the pile. "Look who's talking."

Our conversation, thankfully, was cut short by my brother running back into, and then out of, the kitchen, like he'd done nearly 100 times that day. He sprinted back through the door again seconds later and held onto the counter while catching his breath. He looked to me then Kairi with a worried expression set on his face before basically squeaking out, "Where are my sunglasses?"

I sighed in pity, but Kairi, who still had her head in one of the cupboards, was the one to speak up. "Sweetie, you won't be needing sunglasses." She closed the door, only to scoot over a few inches and start the whole process over with a new cupboard. "It'll be night time. Plus, you won't be able to see the fireworks very well if you're wearing them."

As if suddenly it all made sense to him, my brother's face lit up, and he smiled before taking off out the door once again. Kairi held up a drinking glass to light, inspecting it for God knows what reason.

"That one, I swear." She scraped at the glass with her nail and tilted her head. "He needs someone like me around to take care of him."

And that was my cue to leave. I threw the cookbook back onto the counter and hopped off the stool, leaving Kairi behind to carry on with her insane cleaning tactics and warped romantic delusions.

I found Sora in the living room, sitting on the edge of the couch, biting his nails and nervously bouncing his legs up and down. His free hand was gripping so tightly to the remote I was sure it was going to explode from the pressure, and his eyes were fixated on the television screen, which was showing the weather report for the day. It wasn't until the weather man said, "we're in for another sunny Twilight Town afternoon with clear skies into the night, so all of your fourth of July plans should be safe," that my brother relaxed. He dropped the remote and let out a sigh of relief.

Before I knew it, he was lunging across the room and I stepped right into his path, causing him to collide right into me. I was able to steady myself somehow, and caught my over excited brother by the arms. He looked up at me, shock evident in his eyes.

"Whoa! Sorry, Roxas, I didn't even see you there."

"Yea, well, Kairi's in there being…Kairi." I pointed towards the kitchen. "Apparently your cupboards are the most interesting things she's seen in a while."

"Hey, Sora." Speak of the Devil… Kairi chose that moment to poke her head out, stealing my brother's attention away. "Can you show me where you keep your mop? Your floor is looking kinda rough." Sora nodded eagerly and followed her back into the kitchen.

* * *

By the time 6:30 rolled around, Sora was relentless in his attempts to get Kairi and me out of the house. It didn't matter to him that it was still daylight or that, even if the gates opened at 7, nothing exciting would be happening for at least 2 hours. Getting to the stadium at the exact time was like a mission to my brother, one that would end in either life or death. At any other time, his behavior would have been intolerable, but I just couldn't find it in myself to feel annoyed.

We walked through the gates at exactly one minute after 7. The Tigers' team members were already there somewhere because they told us they promised to help Cid out. We were supposed to meet them, along with Demyx and Zexion, in section 13 – which was clear across the stadium from we normally resided at the concession stand. Naminé was supposed to be there, as well, but when Kairi called her to make sure she knew where to meet us, the girl said she just wasn't up for it. And that in itself was kinda weird because usually Naminé was the first one to agree to things like 4th of July celebrations.

After walking around for a while and stopping by a hot dog stand that was being manned by Xigbar, we decided to take our seats, which had been reserved for our group, thanks to Cid. The crowd was growing as it got later and later, and the stands were starting to fill up just as if everyone was all there to watch a game of baseball. It felt kind of weird to actually be sitting out there instead of in that stuffy stand, being able to actually see everything with my own two eyes instead of through the lens of a camera.

Down on the field, the guys were getting everything set up for the big show. Zack and Cloud were dragging some sort of platform out to where the pitchers mound was usually located, and Marluxia, Leon and some other members of the team were carrying boxes upon boxes of what I assumed to be fireworks.

"Excuse us." A voice sounded out from beside me, and I turned around, recognizing the two women instantly. "We're here to- Oh, hey. Roxas, right?" It was Tifa, the owner of Sweet Tomatoes, and right next to her was the girl who had been our waitress that day… And, suddenly, I felt kind of uncomfortable. My brother and Kairi were looking on curiously, so I decided to shove all my unwanted feelings to the side.

"Yea." I stood up to greet them. "This is my brother Sora and our…uh, our friend Kairi." I pointed them out respectively, and they both waved in greeting.

"I'm Tifa," the woman introduced herself then placed a hand on the waitress' shoulders. "And this is Yuna. We both met Roxas a couple weeks ago when Axel brought him to my restaurant." They smiled politely and took their seats right in front of us.

After a few seconds Tifa turned back around. "Cloud invited me," she said with a slight flush on her cheeks. "And Yuna, of course, is here with her boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend's on the team?" I asked, surprised that when Axel was dishing out all the gossip that day at Sweet Tomatoes, he hadn't bothered to mention that detail.

"Yep!" Yuna smiled and took a glance over her shoulder at the field. "He plays first base –"

"Your boyfriend is Tidus?" Sora rudely interrupted, but Yuna didn't seem to care. "He's here? Like right now? Tonight?"

"Yea, he's here." Yuna giggled. "Crutches and all."

"Because you can't keep Tidus down." I laughed to myself as I recalled Riku's words.

As time passed by, and Sora had instantly taken to becoming the best of friends with the two new girls, Zexion and Demyx eventually showed up and sat in completely different rows. Cloud and Zack were the next to appear and sat in the row directly in front of me. Tifa gave the blonde outfielder a hug that he returned hesitantly, and it was so odd to see Cloud showing any sort of affection. Eventually, Yuna left to go retrieve Tidus, and they returned a while later, Tidus being helped down the stairs by his girlfriend and Wakka on either side. The show was just about to start when Riku and Marluxia decided to show up. At the first sight of silver hair, my brother immediately asked me to scoot over so Riku could sit next to him. It was something that normally wouldn't have bothered me, but it kind of did. Sora had a lot of friends; I knew that, but his and Riku's friendship was something different. I wasn't the only one put off by the action of Riku taking over my spot. Kairi looked legitimately pissed in having to share my brother's attention with someone else.

The first batch of fireworks were set off at exactly 9 o'clock, lighting up the sky in colors of red and blue, and Axel still hadn't shown his face. I was beginning to wonder if Riku was just being an asshole, and Axel hadn't really cared if I showed up or not. The crowd had broken out into choruses of 'oohs' and 'ahhs' every time another firework was shot off, my brother being the loudest of them all.

About 15 minutes into the show, when my mood started sinking too low for such a festive occasion, I heard someone slide into the seat next to mine and a whisper in my ear. "Sorry I'm late."

"You don't have to apologize to me." Another firework lit up the sky and, as I pretended to be focused on it, I saw Axel grinning at me out of the corner of my eye. "I didn't even notice your absence."

"Ouch." His smile faded for a second, and I almost felt bad for saying what I had. Until he started laughing. "Anyway, let's get out of here?" That caught me off guard, and I finally looked directly at him.

"What?" I blinked. "I thought this whole thing was about watching fireworks?"

"You'll still see the fireworks. Just follow me." He rose to his feet and held out a hand for me to take. "What? Don't you trust me?" When I couldn't find any words to say, he rolled his eyes and grabbed a hold of my wrist, not leaving me with any choice in the matter. I was pulled out of my seat against my will, and everyone was too wrapped up in the show to even notice that I was being dragged away.

Axel was moving fast, pulling me down the empty hallways. The more I tried to resist, the tighter his grip on my wrist became. Not moving wasn't an option because I was sure, even if I fell to the ground, Axel wouldn't have stopped dragging me.

"Can you stop slowing us down?" he asked over his shoulder, and I gave a wry laugh.

"Can you stop being insane?"

"You're the one who's trying to make us miss the rest of the fireworks." I scoffed at his absurd accusation. "Now _that's _insane."

"I wouldn't be missing_ any _of them if I was still in my seat right now." Axel tugged on my arm, sending me flying into his back, and that was the only response he gave.

Eventually, we reached the exit and made it out to the parking lot, stopping right in front of a bright red Honda that I assumed belonged to Axel. He hopped up on the trunk and patted the area beside him, inviting me to take a seat, then he leaned back, placed his arms behind his head and gazed up at the sky. After a few moments, I followed suit.

"See, I told you we'd be able to see the fireworks still," Axel said as another one exploded in the sky. "It's quieter out here, too."

And we sat there like that, side by side, watching multi-colored fireworks illuminate the night sky. And even though we were all the way out in the parking lot, they still seemed so close – like I could just reach out my hand and touch the sparks as they floated back down to the earth. Axel was right, although I'd never let him have the satisfaction of knowing. It was like a totally different experience out there.

"Are we…friends?" I asked, breaking the silence. It just seemed like the perfect time to get answers, to try and understand what kind of relationship Axel and I actually had.

Yea, I guess. I mean, I like to think we are." He turned his head to look at me. "Is that, uh, is that what you want us to be?"

I hesitated for a moment – because, really, what did I want Axel and me to be? When I'd first met him, I wanted nothing to do with him, but then he kept worming his was into my thoughts, my life… and, of course, there was that night on my brother's balcony – when I was so sure he was going to kiss me. And I was so confused by it all that I just didn't know exactly what it was I_ really_ wanted.

"I don't think I'd mind being your friend," I said, stopping myself from looking at him. "But, like, how can we be when we don't know anything about each other?"

"Oh, but we do." Axel said matter-of-factly. "You know that I'm Axel; a tall, funny, handsome specimen, who plays the greatest sport on earth." I rolled my eyes at the description. "And you," he nudged me in the side with his elbow, "are Roxas; a vertically challenged, self-centered, fast food worker who's afraid of change."

I finally turned to glare at him, but he was too preoccupied with staring up into the sky. "What I mean is we don't know any of the important things." That caught his attention." "Like, how old you are, when your birthday is, or even what your favorite color is."

"Oh, yea. What was I thinking? Those damn favorite colors can make or break a friendship, you know?" He smirked. "23, August 20th and blue." He rolled over to his side, propping his head up with his hand. Your turn."

Being held under his gaze like that made answering simple questions seem a lot more difficult than it should. "I'm nineteen."

"Ooh, you're a baby." Axel laughed at his own joke, but I chose to ignore him and keep going.

"I was born on February 10th." I shifted nervously as Axel continued to watch me like he was memorizing my every move.

"And…?" he asked, disbelief clear in his voice. "Are you telling me you're going to leave out the ever important favorite color and doom this friendship before it even begins?"

"Green." I fought to keep the smile off my face.

"So…are we friends now?"

"Tell me something you've never told anyone before," I said, not sure why I even cared, why Axel's thoughts meant so much to me. Three more fireworks exploded above us as Axel remained silent. When the sparks faded, he finally spoke.

"I'm scared of failure." His voice sounded so different – quiet and too vulnerable to be the outspoken shortstop I'd come to sort of know. I turned to look at him, to let him know he had my full attention and I cared about what he was saying, but he was sitting up by that time, staring down at the ground. "Everyone thinks I'm always this confident person who thinks he can do anything. And that's probably because I'm really good at acting like it, but the truth is… sometimes I'm just a big old disgusting mess inside." He let out a sigh. "Pretty stupid confession, huh?" I shook my head.

"No, not really." I sat up next to him "If it's how you feel, and it means something to you, then it's not stupid." He raised his head and gave me this weird forced smile that looked entirely out of place on his face.

"What about you?" he asked. "You have some big secret you've kept hidden from everyone else?"

Truth is, there were too many things I'd kept hidden from the world. It was almost like my whole entire life was some big secret – because that's the way I'd wanted it. And choosing one of those things to spill to Axel was a challenge. For some reason, I wanted to tell him one that meant something, something big. Being around Axel had that effect on me, made me willing to spill my guts without even batting an eye. It was kind of scary that someone I'd barely just begun to really know could make me feel safe in that way, in a way people I'd known all my life were incapable of.

"I think…" I trailed off, working up the courage to say what I felt I needed to get off my chest. "I'm pretty sure at least…that I'm…gay." And hearing it out loud was a mixture of relief and unadulterated fear, the reality of it really sinking in, in a way it never had before.

Besides the raise of an eyebrow, Axel's face was unreadable. I had no idea what he was thinking, and that freaked me out. I felt the panic start to rise up in my chest, a feeling of regret that made me wish I could just scoop up all the words I'd said and shove them back inside my mouth, lock them away forever and throw away the key. Then Axel started talking again, like nothing was wrong, like I'd never said anything at all.

"So… next week the team is heading to Hollow Bastion to play the Beasts," he said. "And I was thinking - well, _we_ were thinking – that, maybe, since you and your friends haven't really had the chance to experience a real Tigers baseball game, and since you have those two days off and all…maybe you could make a road trip out of it and come to see us play."

I was grateful of Axel's ability to seamlessly change subjects, especially uncomfortable ones. In fact, I was so grateful that I didn't give much thought to his offer before agreeing. "Uh… yea, that sounds cool actually."

"Great!" He jumped off the car and spun back around to face me. "Riku and Zack are probably filling your brother in on all the details as we speak."

"So was this all part of your plan?" It was getting harder and harder to keep myself from smiling around Axel. I don't think I'd ever smiled so much in my life. "Bring me out here and lure me into agreeing to something I'd probably never go along with under normal circumstances?"

Axel shuffled over until he was standing right in front of me, sly grin on his lips and gleam in his eyes. And just like that, everything I'd felt that night on the balcony came back to me. My heart, once again, felt like it was going to explode as Axel's eyes stared into mine, as they held me in some kind of hold, making it impossible to turn away. Not that I even wanted to. There was nothing to grip onto, so I just pressed my hands down on the trunk of the car to stop the trembling. My breath hitched in my throat when I felt Axel grab hold of my chin, making sure I couldn't turn away.

"If I had any ulterior motive for brining you out here," he whispered, smile growing, "I can guarantee you it wasn't just to ask that question."

A million fireworks were going off in the sky by that point, lighting up the whole parking lot and making enough noise to drown out the many thoughts swirling around in my head. When Axel leaned closer, I was bracing myself with everything I had for what I was sure was going to be our first kiss – my first kiss with a guy, but instead, he let go of my chin and backed away with a smile.

"We should get back." He cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pocket, avoiding any eye contact. "I'm pretty sure everyone is going to notice we're gone since the shows over. Your brother's probably gonna start freaking out…"

It was only then that I noticed how dark everything had become again, leaving the sky in its original state. The show was finished, the night was over, and the next day everything would go back to normal – or what had become normal over the past few months. But I smiled to myself, anyway, because even if the celebration had come to an end, nothing could stop the fireworks in my heart.


	6. Anything But Ordinary

Chapter 6

The night before the start of our trip - a trip I was dreading as much as looking forward to - I stayed at Sora's house. He wanted to get an unnaturally early start, of course, and the best way to make sure I was ready in time was to force me to stay over at his place. The plan was for Kairi to pick Naminé up and meet us at Sora's apartment, then we would load up the van, which had been rented specifically for our journey, and pick Demyx and Zexion up at their respective houses. After that, we would hit the road for the next day and a half, heading for Hollow Bastion.

We had to leave a day earlier than the team in order to arrive on time because we had a much longer trip ahead of us, seeing as they were traveling by plane and we had to settle for the road. Once we arrived in Hollow Bastion, we were to meet up with everyone at a hotel where our rooms would already be reserved for us. The destination was all well and good - meeting up with Axel, experiencing a real baseball game – I was actually sort of looking forward to that. But everything else? The traveling in a crowded car for almost 2 days… Yea, that part sucked.

It was still dark when Sora burst out of his bedroom, shrieking way too loudly for so early in the morning. He then proceeded to leap onto the couch, which just so happened to have been my bed for the night, causing me to practically jump out of my skin. I shot straight up, my forehead colliding with my brothers' as he landed on the floor with a yelp.

"What in the hell are you doing, Sora?" I asked, rubbing my forehead and trying come to terms with what had just happened. Opening my eyes again, I realized just how dark it really was. "And what time is it?"

My brother popped up from the floor like a jack-in-the-box, apparently not fazed by anything that had just happened or the fact that the room was almost pitch black. "I'm waking you up, of course." He pulled the blanket off of me so the cold wind blasting from the air-conditioner he liked to keep on all night long could assault my half-naked body. "And it's 4:30."

"What?" I asked, sleepily.

"I saiiid, its 4:30." He sighed. "Now get your lazy butt up! We have _so_ much to do before we leave."

I don't know why I expected him to leave me alone after that and go be spastic and annoying somewhere else, allowing me to slink back down onto the couch cushions for a few more precious minutes of sleep. But when I lowered my head back down onto one of the fluffy couch pillows, I was reminded of exactly whom I was dealing with. As soon as my head hit the pillow, it was snatched out from under me and my cheek wound up hitting the armrest with a thud.

"No, you're not going back to sleep. You have to get up, Roxas," Sora whined. "You know we have to get a head start if we want to get to Hollow Bastion on time, or maybe you want to forget about the whole thing?" He turned the TV on, lighting up the room. "Your choice." I groaned and sat back up, reaching for the remote control.

"Why don't you go and call Kairi…or Demyx? Maybe try and annoy someone else for a change?"

"I don't have to," Sora said smugly, leaning over the back of the couch. "I've already heard from everyone. They're all up and ready to go. You're the only one lagging behind, dear brother of mine."

"Well, good for them," I grumbled. Never in my whole entire life had I been a morning person, and I wasn't about to start then. Sora tapped the back of the couch before moving towards the other side of the room.

"Well, get dressed and meet me in the kitchen. I'm packing some food for the trip, and you're going to help."

He disappeared into the kitchen, and I wanted to sigh in relief, but I knew it would be pointless because a day such as that one was bound to be full of anxiety and drama. Not to mention, I knew I'd have to force myself to get moving if I didn't want to miss out on all of it. After a few more minutes of staring blankly at the television screen and trying to join the living, I finally found the will to move. Once dressed, I entered the kitchen to find my brother scampering about, making sandwiches and packing beverages into a small cooler.

Kairi and Naminé arrived at the apartment around 5:15, when Sora and I were beginning to load our things into the van. I was actually surprised that Naminé even bothered to show up, considering she'd been MIA at every other outing.

"We're here!" Kairi shouted cheerfully as she sprang out of the car. Apparently, everyone I knew was an annoying morning person. Naminé walked over to me and set her suitcase down.

"Hello, Roxas," she greeted quietly, pulling on the sleeves of her jacket.

"Hey." I lifted her luggage into the trunk. "Are you ready for the trip?" She nodded wordlessly and walked away to lean against the side of the van, seeming to take an interest in watching my brother all but lose his mind.

It was impossible not to take notice of the drastic change in Naminé's demeanor – the way she was always a little too quiet, solemn, and no longer the bubbly girl who would greet me with a smile, even when I was content to ignore her. And I wanted to say something, but I just didn't know what that something would be. My relationship with Naminé had always been casual and nothing more. I didn't know how to tell her I was worried about her or ask what was wrong, and no one else was asking either. It was almost like the roles had been switched.

"Well, here's my luggage," Kairi was suddenly next to me, the biggest suitcase I'd ever seen in my life at her feet. I blinked, and she placed a hand on her hip. "You _are_ loading the van, right?"

"You do know this is only going to be a five day trip that is mostly going to be spent in this van?" I asked, reaching for the handle anyway.

"Yea…" she eyed me strangely, like I was the crazy one. "And?"

"And I really don't think you need a suitcase this freaking massive."

"Boys." She scoffed. "Everything in there," she pointed at the thing sitting between us, "is an absolute necessity."

There was no sense in arguing over it any longer, because trying to talk sense into Kairi was like trying to teach an elephant to tap dance, so I decided to do the only thing I knew would get her off my case and find room for her stupid suitcase somewhere in the back of the van. My plan was cut short, though, when I attempted to lift the thing up and nearly snapped my arms clean off. As to not look like the weakling I obviously was, I attempted to lift it again, only managing to get it a few inches off the ground before letting it drop.

"What the hell do you have in here?" I asked in disbelief. "Bricks?" Kairi just stood there, arms crossed over her chest and smiling so arrogantly I wanted to tell her to go screw herself, but knowing we were going to be spending hours on end so close together, I resisted.

"So, this little suitcase is too heavy for you, huh?"

"No." I shook my head. "It's too heavy because you don't understand the concept of packing for 5 days. It's too heavy for anyone to lift!"

"Then how do you think it got all the way down my apartment stairs, in and out of the car and brought right over here to you? Magic?" The amusement in her voice grew to an all time high.

I refused to answer her question or give her the satisfaction of any response. Instead, I turned and walked to the opposite side of the vehicle, leaving her to heft her own suitcase into the trunk. I watched Sora, who hadn't stopped running amuck, run back up to his apartment for at least the 20th time, claiming he wanted to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. Finally, when he was convinced that everything was where it was supposed to be and nothing was going to be left behind, we were ready to go. It was nearly 6 AM by that time, and that sent my brother into another freak out about how we were already running late and still had 2 other people to pick up before actually starting the trip.

Since Sora was driving, Kairi made a big, unnecessary deal out of taking the passengers seat. Neither Naminé nor I cared. It didn't matter to me where I sat, just as long as it was away from the crazy. And seeing as all the crazy was up in the front, I was perfectly content in my seat behind the driver.

Before Naminé could even think about sitting, Kairi twisted around to face us. "Sit right behind me," she said to her friend, who was going to sit in that exact seat anyway, with or without Kairi's orders. "I think we should leave the back for Demyx and Zexion. A two day car ride is a perfect time to kiss and make up." She smiled evilly and spun back around, immediately starting up a conversation with my brother. Demyx and Zexion were about to fall right into Kairi's trap.

Zexion was the first to be picked up because his house was closest. It didn't take long for him to load his suitcase into the car and say his greetings before we headed off to pick up our last friend. About halfway to Demyx's house, I'm pretty sure Zexion caught onto just what Kairi had in store for him, but he didn't put up any protest.

Everything at Demyx's house went smoothly. That is, until he hopped into the van to find all other seats taken, only leaving one right next to a man he'd barely said more than five words to in weeks. He just stood there, bent over awkwardly and holding onto mine and Naminé's headrests, staring at Zexion who was staring right back at him.

"Demyx, please sit down," my brother pleaded, watching everything play out through the rearview mirror. Demyx didn't respond, seemingly frozen in place.

"Stop being such a baby! It's just a seat," Kairi said as she reached over the back of her seat and, with that insane strength of hers, shoved Demyx as hard as she could. That sent him flying to the back where he tripped over his feet and landed directly on top of Zexion, their faces mere inches apart.

And the van went silent, the two in the backseat completely still until my brother started on another rampage about how we were running so late we would miss the baseball games entirely. Demyx suddenly scrambled to his feet and slid over a few inches to take his seat, but not before he and Zexion traded a pair of small smiles with each other. Kairi was too busy trying to calm down my over dramatic brother as he shifted the car into drive to notice that her plan seemed to be getting off to a pretty good start.

Four hours into the trip, 240 minutes out of the millions left, and I already felt like throwing myself out of the van and onto the pavement. Kairi never once shut her mouth, constantly rambling about some insignificant thing or another, my brother more than willing to join in. And it was impossible to ignore, seeing as we were in such a confined space and they made sure to be as loud as humanly possible.

We'd already had to pull over once to let Naminé throw up, which was the start of mass chaos inside of the van – my brother losing his shit, trying to find a place to pull over while Kairi scrambled to the backseat to help her friend, Demyx asking if there was anything he could do to help and promptly being told to shut-up by the redhead, Zexion calmly suggesting that it hadn't been such a good idea for Naminé to take such a trip and being ignored. I managed to keep my silence the whole time, seeing that as the only way to keep hold of any sanity I had left. Once things calmed down, Naminé assured everyone she was fine and then reassured when Kairi was less than convinced.

We were experiencing a rare moment of peace, everyone seemingly too worn out from the whole Naminé incident to be annoying, when my phone rang and all attention fell on me.

"Ooh, who's calling you?" Kairi asked. I looked down at my phone and tried not to appear too pleased.

"No one."

"Then why is it ringing?" I cursed myself for forgetting to put it on vibrate.

"Because it's a text message," I said, offering no more information. Kairi scoffed.

"Who's texting you then?"

"None of your business," I snapped, barely paying attention to her anymore and, instead, reading the message Axel had sent. "_Have fun & be safe. Can't wait 2 see you in Hallow Bastion_." A corny little smiley face was added at the end.

"Fine, be that way." She pouted and turned the radio on, messing around with the dials. "No one cares about your dumb little text message anyway."

Axel's message was simple, yet it filled me with such stupid joy. I wanted to inform him, though, that enjoying a road trip with the company I was forced to travel with would be damn near impossible, but I was starting to feel tired, and typing all that out seemed like too much work, so I just gave a short reply. "_you too_."

The van had grown quiet again, except for the sounds of the station Kairi had tuned in on the radio. Naminé had already fallen sleep, her arm draped almost protectively over her stomach. Demyx had taken to leaning against the window, pressing buttons on his phone, and Zexion had his nose in yet another book. That's when I slunk down into my seat and shut my eyes, the sounds of some random pop song luring me into sleep.

What felt like seconds later, I was jerked out of my slumber, the sound of breaks screeching and screams filling the air. My immediate reaction was to panic because, surely, we were all going to die. When I finally caught my breath, I realized we weren't actually moving anymore.

"What the hell happened?"

"A deer!" Sora screeched. "I almost hit a dear."

"What are you talking about? Why would there be a dear on…" I trailed off once I'd taken a good look around and noticed that we were on some long stretch of road that was surrounded by trees, with no other signs of human life.

"It's true." Kairi turned around to look at me. "I saw it with my own eyes." As if that was supposed to be comforting.

"Yea, that's fascinating and all," I paused, feeling that dreaded sense of panic settling back in and mixing in with all the irritation bubbling in my veins, "but we're supposed to be on the Goddamn highway, not some little backwoods road like this!"

Silence. Absolutely mind-numbing silence.

"What…do you mean?" Sora asked, sounding a little more than nervous.

"I mean, you went and got us lost," I said harshly, and Sora sunk down lower into his seat.

"Look," Kairi laid a hand on my brother's shoulder and glared at me. "It's not his fault."

"Then tell me who, exactly, should I blame for this? Because I think in situations like this, the driver takes the blame. The driver is the one who should know where the hell he's going, especially when where he's going is the place he lives 10 months out of the year." It was weird how easily slipping back into the habit of using anger to solve my problems came to me. And I knew I was being too harsh on my bother, but the whole day was taking its toll on me.

"Why weren't you awake to help, then?" Kairi looked about ready to lunge at me and rip my head off. "If you hadn't been so damn lazy, then you could have told us what road we were supposed to be on hours ago!"

I swear my heart almost stopped. I had been asleep for hours. We had been traveling on the wrong road and heading in God knows what direction for _hours_. We were probably miles away from where we were supposed to be, with no idea how to get back on the road we needed to be on. I mean, was there even a point in continuing on? We might as well have just given up and headed back on home because there was no way we were going to make it to Hallow Bastion in time. By the time we got there, the games would probably be over and the team would most likely be heading back home. The only thing I could see coming out of the trip was a whole lot of frustration. And worst of all, Axel would be disappointed. Before my thoughts could spiral down any further, Sora spoke up.

"Roxas is right. It's my fault." Everything about his voice was miserable, and it made me feel even sicker than before. "I was the one complaining about how everyone else was going to make us late, and then I'm the one who actually goes and screws everything up." He started the car. "I'll try to find some place to stop and get directions."

Eventually, Sora did find a small road to turn off on and located a gas station. It was the only sign of civilization for miles. If we didn't know how far away from home we truly were, we were certainly aware after driving down that road, pulling up in front of that single pump gas station and seeing the tractor parked next to it.

I was more than thrilled to finally be able to escape the confines of that vehicle and stretch my legs. Kairi and Sora made their ways into the tiny building while the rest of us hung back. Naminé was resting on the floor of the van, letting her legs hang out the open door, and Zexion was leaning on the back of the van with his eyes glued to the book in his hands.

"I seriously have to pee." Demyx whimpered, crossing his legs. "Do you think there's a bathroom in there?" he asked, pointing to the building that Kairi and Sora had just entered.

"Probably not." I really did try not to laugh, but the look on Demyx's face and the way he was bouncing around and grabbing a hold of his crotch, like it was some weird sort of dance, made it difficult. "You'll probably have to use some dirty outhouse out back."

"Very funny," Demyx managed to say through a grimace.

"You think I'm joking," I teased, not even bothering to hide my amusement anymore. Demyx's problem was a welcome distraction from everything that had just happened out on the road. "But I'm dead serious. Just take a look around..." He gave an incredibly girly whine in response, and then, unexpectedly, Zexion spoke up.

"If you have to go that bad, then why don't you just go in the bushes?" he said, straight-faced, before taking a look around. "You have plenty to choose from." Apparently, that was all Demyx could take because he took off running for a particularly large bush in the distance.

I turned back to Zexion, but he was already engaged in his reading again, so I left him alone. Naminé appeared to be off in her own world and not in the mood for company, either, so I was in the middle of looking around for something to occupy my time with when my cell phone started to ring. Zexion peered at me curiously over the top of his book before ignoring me once again.

When the number popped up on the screen, I felt that familiar fluttering in my stomach. Letting out a deep breath, I answered. "Axel…hey." I kept my voice quiet as I walked further away from the van to somewhere a little more private. "I didn't expect to hear from you…"

"Yea, about that… I'm sorry for just calling you out of the blue like this. I just—"

"No, it's fine." I interrupted quickly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. The truth is, I was more than happy he'd decided to call. Just hearing his voice made everything else fade into the background, made me feel some kind of peace.

"Oh." He sighed in relief. "I'm glad."

"Yea." I tried to think of anything else to say, but I'd never been good at conversations, especially on the phone. It was hardly ever much of a problem with Axel, though, because he always knew exactly what to say. He always made up for my lack of communication skills.

"How's the trip going?" he asked. "Are you having fun?"

"Yea." I laughed wryly. "Tons of it." Axel caught on right away.

"That bad, huh?" Something in his voice told me that my suffering was funny to him.

"Yes, that bad, you asshole. So stop finding amusement in my misery." I was standing in front of the gas station, looking through the window at my brother and Kairi. They were talking to an old guy in a straw hat that was standing behind the counter. Kairi was huffing and puffing and throwing her hands all around while Sora tried to stop her from making even more of a fool out of herself. It didn't seem to bother straw hat guy, though, because he was just standing there watching and laughing.

"So, where are you guys, exactly? Like how far from Hallow Bastion do you think you are?" I wasn't sure how to answer that except honestly.

"I don't really know," I said. "We're in some butthole, backwoods town in the middle of absolutely freaking nowhere – standing around some gas station, right now, if you can even call it that."

"What? Why?" Axel sounded worried. "What are you doing in a place like that? Is that like on the way or something?"

"No, we're lost." I groaned just thinking about it. "Sora was driving…"

"Ah, no need to explain further." Axel laughed. "I just hope you guys can still make it on time."

"Yea, me too." I sighed and started to head, very slowly, back toward the van. I could see that Demyx had returned from his adventure in the bushes and was sitting next to Naminé, talking her ear off.

"Do you… Do you think you guys'll be able to?" I would never get over how strange it was to hear Axel sound so helpless, like he was waiting for me to tell him it would be ok. And I wasn't even sure of what was going to happen, if the redneck inside would be able to give my brother any decent directions, or how long it would take us to get on the correct road, but I couldn't bring myself to say any of that.

"Yea. We will." And it didn't matter that the situation was looking very grim, at best. It didn't matter that it was 4 o'clock, and we still weren't anywhere near where we should have been. All that mattered was the contented sigh I heard on the other end of the line and the small smile I could tell had formed on Axel's lips.

"Good," he said.

Suddenly, I heard a door slam open, and Kairi's loud voice filled the once quiet atmosphere. My brother was holding onto a piece of paper, which I hoped were the directions we needed.

"That man was impossible!" Kairi shouted as she stomped across the pavement. "Of all the lame-brained, moronic, dopes!"

"Axel, I gotta go," I said quickly, wanting to hang up before anyone – mostly just Kairi – spotted me and started to ask questions. I was lucky that she hadn't seen me already.

"Yea, I can hear Kairi's mouth." He chuckled. "I guess I'll talk to you later then?"

"Yea, later," I said quietly as my brother and Kairi finally reached the van and everyone started to pile in. "See ya."

"Wait, Roxas. I-" Axel began to say, but it was too late. I'd already pressed the end button and was climbing back into my seat. And that bothered me. A lot. I was pissed at myself for not hanging on a few seconds longer, and even more pissed at the two in the front seat for returning so quickly.

"What was all that about?" Demyx asked from his seat in the back. "I mean, all the complaining and everything."

"The man in that building is insane." Kairi's voice was shrill as she continued to explain, and I bit back a laugh at the irony of it all. "He couldn't give us any clear directions. And, you know," she turned to Sora, "I think he was doing it just to piss me off."

"Well, at least we have our directions now." My brother waved the paper in the air, appearing more like himself than before we'd made the stop. "Let's get this show on the road… again."

So we set off again in the right direction that time. I kept my eyes open. Not that I was even tired anymore after my long nap from earlier. I wasn't only determined to stay awake just to keep my eyes on the road to ensure we didn't lose anymore time than we already had, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Axel and what he'd wanted to say. I figured if it was really important, he would have called me back, or at least sent a text. Hell, I could have sent him a message asking what it was, but for some reason, I just couldn't. Everything with Axel was new territory for me, and I didn't know exactly how to deal with it most of the time.

* * *

It was nearly 12 AM when we pulled up in front of the Seaside Motel in the small beach town of Destiny. It was much later than we'd originally planned to stop, but Sora was determined to make up for lost time, only agreeing to call it a night after almost falling asleep at the wheel and ruining our trip for good.

Kairi and Sora, who had become the dynamic duo of our journey, secured our 3 rooms for the night – one for the girls and two more to be split between the four boys. I automatically assumed I'd be sharing one with my brother, despite everything. It wasn't until Demyx spoke up that I realized we had a problem.

"Uh…Who's rooming with whom?" I knew what he meant when he said it. Everyone knew – he didn't want to share a room with Zexion. And that's when things got awkward.

"It's late, Demyx, and we all just want to sleep, so get over your stupid problems and just sleep with Zexion." Had Kairi been a little more awake at the time, she'd have realized exactly what she said and used it to her advantage. The rest of us caught onto that slip of the tongue, though, and the tension in the air became so thick it was almost suffocating. And if it was that bad from my perspective, I could only imagine how it was for the two actually involved. Zexion cleared his throat suddenly, making Kairi, who had taken to resting her head on Naminé's shoulder, jump at the sound.

"Demyx doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to." His face was pretty blank, but there was something in his voice that led me to believe he wasn't taking everything as easy as he pretended. Demyx turned away from Zexion, and unlike his friend, the pain was clear on his face, but he didn't say anything.

"I'll room with Zexion," I broke the ugly silence, and it was unexpected. I'd never shared a room with anyone in my entire life, besides Sora here and there when we absolutely had to, but it seemed to be the best solution all around because my brother and I still hadn't said a word to each other since the earlier spectacle. And knowing Sora, he'd make sure to bring it up once we were alone together in a room, no matter how exhausted we both were. "Sora can share with Demyx."

"Thank God that's settled." Kairi was barely able to stand on her own two feet by that point. "Now can we all just go and get some sleep?"

There were no protests that time, and it didn't take long to get settled in our rooms. Zexion was quiet, a little quieter than usual, and I didn't want to bother him after what had just gone on downstairs, so I kept to myself and got ready for bed. By the time I got out of the bathroom, he was already asleep; wearing the same clothes he'd had on all day, sprawled out on top of the comforter with a book hanging loosely out of his hand.

That night proved difficult to fall asleep. Maybe it was the fact that I'd slept half the day, or maybe it was that on top of all the thoughts clouding up my brain, but I could not stop tossing and turning, and no matter what I did, I never felt at rest. I turned to lay on my right side and caught sight of Zexion's sleeping form, which only brought my thoughts back to what was going on between him and Demyx. I turned back over to lie on my other side and saw my phone sitting on the bedside table, making me think about Axel and recalling the phone call at the gas station. I kicked my legs, messing my sheets up in the process and laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling, only able to hear echoes of the harsh words I'd spewed at my brother in the car.

That was all I could take, and I made the decision to give up on trying to fall sleep altogether. In a split second decision, I grabbed my cell phone off of the bedside table, and quietly made my way across the room, as to not wake Zexion. I opened the door that led outside and the creaking sound it made cut through the silence like a knife. I heard a rustle of sheets and then nothing else, so I stepped out into the night air and let out a sigh when the door shut behind me.

I wanted to talk to Axel, and that's all I really knew. I had no other plans of what I was going to say. When I saw his name in my contacts list and noticed the time of 1:00 AM glaring at me from the corner, I hesitated. What the hell was I thinking? Axel had a flight early in the morning and was probably sound asleep already. And there I was, standing outside of some crappy motel in the dead of night about to wake him up for no other reason than I couldn't sleep and wanted to hear his voice. When had I become a person who'd even consider doing something so ridiculous? Probably about the same time I became the sort of person who would travel hundreds of miles across the country in a car full of people just to see a baseball game.

Faced with the thought of having to go back into that room and attempt sleep again, I threw all rational thoughts to the wind and hit the call button. I pressed the phone against my ear as it started ringing and hoped I wasn't doing the totally wrong thing. It rang so many times that I almost hung up – because I sure as hell wasn't about to leave a voicemail. But at the last moment, it stopped, and a groggy voice answered. "Roxas?" I could tell I'd woken him up, and I felt stupid.

"Yea, it's me," I said quietly, nervously shifting my weight from one bare foot to the other.

"Is something wrong?" The worry in his voice evident for a second time that day. And why shouldn't he have been concerned? I mean, normal people don't just call someone up randomly in the middle of the night. That was crazy. And I'm talking Kairi territory, right there.

"Um, no. Nothing's wrong. Well, not really…" I sounded like a complete moron.

"What do you mean, 'not really?'" he asked.

"I couldn't sleep," I blurted out a little too loudly and peered around to make sure I hadn't disturbed anyone because the last thing I needed was to be kicked out of the place. As shitty as the motel was, I needed a place to stay. "I just couldn't sleep." I thought saying it again would make it sound even a little less stupid. But it didn't.

"Wait. So you thought talking to me would help put you right to sleep?" Axel was clearly amused.

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

I sucked in a deep breath. If I was honest with him, I could be revealing a little more about my feelings – whatever they were – than I wanted to. I could give Axel more than enough ammo to tease me for life, but even still… I kinda wanted to.

"I just..." I trailed off for a few seconds in which Axel remained silent, waiting for me to finish. "I wanted to hear your voice."

"You couldn't sleep…" Axel paused to let out a breathy sort of laugh, and I wished glares could be sent through phones. "So you called me because you wanted to hear my voice?"

"I'm hanging up now," I grumbled and placed my finger on the end button. "This was a dumb idea. Forget I even called."

"No, wait!" He was quick to shout before I could end the connection. "It's not dumb." I could hear the smile in his voice still. "I'm just surprised is all. You could have called anyone else in the world, and you chose me."

"Yea, so?"

"So, I like it." And I just knew he wasn't going to leave it at that. "It's cute."

"Cute?" That word had never been used to describe me, and I preferred it that way. "I am _not_ cute!"

"Except you are." I resisted the urge to send the phone flying to the pavement. "Cute as a button."

"Do you have any idea how aggravating you are?" I asked.

"Well, you're the one who called me up at…uh…1 o'clock in the morning here."

"But that's – It's not…" I desperately searched for the right words to say, only to realize I didn't have any.

"That's what I thought." He was so smug, but even still, I no longer had the urge to switch off the phone. Because Axel's teasing, the way he could get under my skin like no other and still endear himself to me – it felt right. "You can't resist my charms. Not many people can."

"Yea," I laughed and leaned back against the door. "Charms. That's it."

"I'm glad to finally hear you admit your feelings for me out loud." We fell into more silence and it lasted so long, I thought Axel might have fallen asleep. I had woken him up so early in the morning, after all. I was about to finally open my mouth and tell him goodnight when I was interrupted.

"I miss you, Roxas." It was barely even a whisper, but it might as well have been shouted to the world because it was the only thing I could hear – that, and my heart pounding in my ears. "That's what I wanted to tell you earlier. You know, before you hung up on me."

"Oh." I hated myself for not being able to say anything else, and I just stood there quietly listening to the sounds of the crickets and the waves crashing onto the shore of the beach just beyond the parking lot.

"Try and get some sleep, ok? You've got another big day of traveling ahead of you tomorrow."

"So- so do you."

"Yea, I do," he said sleepily. "Thanks for calling."

"Why are you thanking me for waking you up in the middle of the night?" The silence stretched on again, and I got the feeling Axel was fighting to stay awake.

"Because it was nice hearing your voice before going to sleep."

"But you were already asleep before I called," I said but received no answer. I sat there and listened to Axel's rhythmic breathing for a while, imagining him all tangled up in his sheets with the phone pressed to his ear. When I was sure he was sound asleep and not going to surprise me by saying anything else, I placed my finger on end button.

"Goodnight, Axel." I ended the call and took a deep breath of sea air before walking back into the small motel room. I was a little shocked to find Zexion sitting up on his bed, eyes fixed on me. I had been caught.

"Talking to Axel?" he asked, and I considered lying, but it didn't feel right. I mean, Zexion had sort of confided in me before, trusted me with feelings he'd never told anyone else, and I kinda wanted to do the same. And maybe letting someone else in even small details about Axel and I wouldn't be so bad.

"Yea," I said, walking back over to my bed and flopping down on it.

"That was him earlier today, too." It wasn't a question. "At the gas station."

"Yea." I sighed.

"No one else knows?" It was an easy, straightforward question, but there was something hidden behind it - something a lot like: 'Does anyone else know you're gay?'

"No."

"I won't say anything."

And that was it. Our conversation was over, and as much as it freaked me out to tell someone about my feelings, although not in so many words, it also felt kinda good to know I could rely on someone who understood me – because Zexion and I seemed to have that kind of unspoken connection between us that I thought was impossible to have with anyone but my brother. And I was actually thankful of how the roommate situation had turned out.

* * *

The next morning, we were all awake, in the car and ready to go by 5 AM. Before we could actually continue on our journey, though, Sora insisted that we stop for breakfast. And since he was the one in control of the car, and in a sense; our lives, we had no choice in the matter. He drove as far as the next town over called Traverse Town and found a Waffle House to stop at. It was the dinkiest, dingiest excuse for a restaurant I'd ever seen, but it was the only one for miles, and Sora insisted that sometimes good things come in unexpected packages. In other words, just because the place looked like shit, didn't mean the food would taste like it.

It was amazing to me how anyone that ate there managed to keep their food down, what with the pee-yellow painted walls and bright lights that made it as if you were eating under a freaking spotlight. The building itself was rectangle and quite narrow. On one side were the kitchen area and a counter with stools lined up, and on the opposite side were booths lined up from back to front. We were the only customers there, besides an old man sitting at the very end of the counter, so we had our pick of literally any seat in the house. I suggested a booth next to the exit in case we had to make a sudden escape.

"This was a great idea," I grumbled and slumped down in the booth. Naminé scooted in and sat next to me.

"There weren't any other places to stop." Sora refused to meet my gaze and, instead, picked up a menu and started looking it over.

"Then we didn't have to stop at all."

"It's not so bad," Demyx cut in, attempting to add some cheeriness to the situation but failing miserably.

"Why does this place even need menus?" I snatched up one of the small pieces of paper and stared at it for a moment before throwing it back down. "I think everyone who stops here is well aware of what they're getting. I mean the gigantic 'Waffle House' sign outside says it all."

"Roxas, when are you gonna quit being such a bastard?" Kairi asked. "I know that's like your default mode and all, but, Jesus Christ, can't you at least try?"

That kind of bickering lasted until the waitress walked over to our table. Why a place like that, where they could have just pretty much handed the plates over the counter, needed a waitress, who knows? But they had one alright. A tiny, chipper, bouncy little thing, who according to her nametag, was called Yuffie.

It took ten minutes for our food to arrive, and Kairi commented, obviously for my brother's benefit, that the place was a good pick because we got our food quickly. I commented back that our food got to us so fast because the place was empty; meaning everyone else who drove by had sense enough not to stop. I received a glare in response from Kairi, but nothing else was said on the matter.

I have to admit, the food wasn't that bad. I mean, I didn't instantly have the urge to throw up and no on was turning green or anything. But that didn't mean we wouldn't be feeling the effects later on. Naminé was the only one who didn't even take a bite of hers. As soon as she raised the first forkful to her mouth, she was sprinting off towards the restroom. She never did bother to try eating again, and Sora didn't even nag her about it, so I knew he was concerned and maybe starting to see what I had all along.

After we left the Waffle House, and I thanked God that we'd made it out alive, the morning passed by pretty quickly. By the time the afternoon rolled around, I received another text message from Axel, and luckily I'd remembered to put my phone on vibrate that time. I hesitated opening it, afraid of what it might say after the night before. But I found my courage and opened it to find an innocent message. "_Made it 2 Hallow Bastion. C U soon!_"

I was beyond envious. I had, like, a thousand hours left in that crowded van, and Axel had already made it to our destination. Seeing as you only make so much money working behind the counter of a fast food establishment in a baseball stadium, flying –for us – was out of the question. "_Lucky you_," was the reply I sent back.

By 5 o'clock that evening, we were a little more than halfway to Hallow Bastion, but still had quite a bit of traveling ahead of us.

"According to my estimations, we should reach Hallow Bastion by 10 o'clock tonight," Zexion said from the very backseat.

"Great." I sighed. "That means we're going to miss the first game entirely." Sora fidgeted in his seat and gripped the steering wheel tighter at my words.

"Are you ever going to stop complaining, Roxas?" Kairi paused in her attempts to rummage through the glove compartment to ask. "You're ruining this trip for all of us." And I wanted to tell her off, to tell her that she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met and that, if anyone in that car was suffering, it was me. But she was right. I had been acting like an asshole for 2 days straight. I was the only one to blame for ruining my own trip.

Before anything else could be said, my brother's cell phone started ringing. Kairi reached over, plucking it off the dashboard and answered it.

"Hello," she said cheerily, and then her smile fell. "Riku. How…nice to hear from you." I could only imagine what kind of scathing response she got in turn as she scoffed and held the phone in place with her shoulder, so she could get back to digging through the glove compartment.

"Tell him we have about 5 hours to go and won't be there until after the game tonight." Sora tried to get Kairi's attention, but she just waved him off and continued on with her bickering. "C'mon, Kairi," he pleaded, and tried again to get her attention while still keeping the car on the road. And again, she didn't listen.

"You listen here," she shouted into the phone, and that's when I decided to take matters into my own hands. "The next time I see you, you're going to wish –" Her threat was cut short as I leaned forward and snatched the phone from her. She turned around to give me the most outraged look she could muster, but I ignored her and placed the phone to my ear.

"- just who you're dealing with." Riku was finishing up a retort intended for Kairi.

"This isn't Kairi anymore, so you just wasted your breath on that comeback," I said, as the redhead sitting up front instantly jerked back around.

"You tell him that he can say that to my face the next time we see each other." Then she raised her voice even more, leaning a bit farther over her seat. "I know you can hear me, Riku!" And Riku began cracking up and telling someone about everything Kairi had just said. After calming down, he cleared his throat.

"So, Roxas, what's up?"

"Sora wanted to tell you guys that we're 5 hours away and probably gonna miss tonight's game," I told him, and Sora glanced at me through the rearview mirror.

"That's cool, we still have another game tomorrow for you guys to see, so just meet us at the hotel tonight." I heard a muffled voice in the background, and Riku seemed to be distracted by it, so I took that moment to tell everyone what he'd just said. "You there?" Riku asked when he got back to the phone.

"Yea, who was that in the background?"

"Oh, that was Axel's crazy ass." He laughed and I heard some more commotion. "He wanted to talk to you, but I told him he was being a nuisance and we didn't have time for his bullshit."

"Oh."

"Sorry, did you want to talk to him – because I can still give him the phone, I just figured-"

"No, no," I said quickly, the last thing I wanted to do was talk to Axel in that van full of witnesses. "It's fine."

"Okay, then…" I didn't miss the suspicion in Riku's voice. "We have to go get ready for the game, so we'll see you guys later, k?"

"Yea, we'll be there." I heard that same voice in the background again.

"Axel says bye," Riku said before I hung up. Laughing to myself, I threw the phone back in Kairi's lap. And she didn't say one word to me, so I was spared from any repercussions of my actions – at least for a while.

After hours of driving, only stopping once to get something to eat and stretch our legs, we finally arrived at our destination. Well, sort of. I was so happy to see the sign that read, 'Hallow Bastion: next right' that I probably could have cried. During that last stretch of the trip, everything had grown quiet. It was dark inside the van, but the scattered streetlamps outside and the lights of the dashboard did a decent job of illuminating things, at least enough to make out Naminé curled up and facing away from me. Kairi and Sora were talking to each other in hushed tones for once, and when I turned around to the backseat, I was surprised by what I saw.

There, mostly hidden by the shadows of night, was Zexion, his head leaning against the window to his right. Next to him was Demyx, his hand resting up against the others' chest. Zexion had an arm wrapped around the blonde's shoulder and a contented expression on his face. It was actually kinda nice to see them like that, even if they didn't have the slightest clue what they were doing and would probably be completely mortified upon waking.

It didn't take long to reach the hotel. Although, Sora did have to call Riku and ask for directions. He'd told the team we were almost there, so when we pulled up in front of the place, they were all waiting for us outside. It was like a race to see who could get out of that van the fastest, scrambling and falling over seats to make it to freedom. I was too busy in my attempts to escape to see what had happened when Zexion and Demyx woke up, but they were quiet and never said anything about it, so I assumed that maybe it didn't go as bad as I thought it would.

Once we pried our luggage out of the trunk, we headed over to the front door where the team was lounging around, waiting. At first, all we received were amused stares, and then Zack, Riku and Axel started to practically roll on the pavement, their laughter loud and rambunctious. And I was so drained from the past two days that I didn't have the energy to fight back. Not even a little bit.

"Did you guys get his by a freakin' bus on the way or something?" Zack asked, as he clutched onto his stomach. Riku and Axel were holding onto each other to keep themselves upright as the laughter continued to spill from their mouths. And all I could do was stare.

"Seriously, though." Riku was the first of the trio to regain his composure. He walked over and took Naminé's suitcase from her. "What the hell happened to you guys?" His only response was a bunch of tired stares, until Sora stepped up as the spokesman of the group.

"We've been in that…that_ thing_," he pointed at the van, "for fifteen hours." He blinked his eyes a few times as if trying to stay awake. "Fifteen hours!"

"You poor things." Axel walked over towards us. "But everything is better now that you're here." He looked right at me as he said it, then smirked and turned around to face everyone else in my group and flung his arms out. "Welcome to the Highwind." That's when I first took notice of the building standing tall in front of us – huge, white, at least thirty stories high and so much nicer than the shithole we staying at in Destiny. "We stay here every time we come to Hallow Bastion."

"Your rooms are all ready for you," Cloud informed, offering to help Kairi with her suitcase, but she declined. "We're on the eighth floor." He led the way into the lobby, holding the door open and allowing us to pass through first. "Kairi and Naminé are in room 15, Roxas and Sora have room 13, and Demyx ands Zexion…" He looked down at one of the key cards in his hand. "You guys are in room 6."

Demyx immediately stopped moving, almost causing a domino like collision right there in the crowded lobby. "What? Uh…no. I can't stay in that room." Cloud turned to him, shocked at the sudden protest.

"Sorry, I didn't know it would be a problem," he said. "We can give you guys a different room…or whatever."

"What's your problem?" Zexion asked before anyone had the chance to say anything more. "Why is being around me such a problem for you?" He brushed past everyone and continued for the elevator. "I should have never agreed to come on this trip." Demyx looked to be fighting with him self - opening his mouth then shutting it, walking a few steps forward then turning back around. It looked as if he was going to let Zexion go, until the elevator door opened, and he spun around.

"No, wait," he called out, catching the attention of literally every single person in that lobby. "It's not that." He looked down to the floor nervously, either completely oblivious to the scene he was making or just not caring. "I just…it's not you." He walked over to where Zexion stood in front of the elevator. "We can share a room, ok? I – I want to share a room."

The whole room took a collective breath of anticipation, and when Zexion gave a curt nod and pressed the button on the elevator again, a few claps - along with some obnoxious cheers courtesy of the Tigers – sounded out. Demyx blushed, and we all started to pile into the elevator. I felt Axel's hand on my back, nudging me forward.

"Well, that was quite the performance, don't ya think?" He laughed quietly. "What do you say we put on one of our own?" He winked at me before walking on past me, and I couldn't help but smile.


	7. Falling

**Chapter 7- Falling**

Hollow Bastion was a complete and total contrast from Twilight Town. At first, the two cities appeared similar, seeing as the outskirts of Hollow Bastion were pretty quiet and boring just like my hometown. But that was just an illusion - because the real Hollow Bastion was located in the heart of the city. And I'd never seen anything like it beyond pictures on a TV screen or in a magazine. Flashing lights, streets constantly lined with people, something to do everywhere you looked – it all added to up to make Hollow Bastion, quite literally, the city that never slept. It was beyond anything Sora had ever mentioned it to be.

Things in Hollow Bastion just seemed so much larger – and that's probably because they actually were. The Beasts' stadium was massive and looked more like a major league ballpark than one built for a minor league team. The tall walls, lined with red bricks, made the stadium seem more like a castle fit for royalty than a place to play a simple game of baseball. And the sheer amount of people entering the place left me awestruck, and maybe a tad jealous. Our stadium back in Twilight Town never attracted _that_ many people. Not that dealing with even more customers was something I necessarily wanted to do, but still…

The inside of the stadium was even more extravagant then the exterior – every surface colored in bright shades of purple, red and white, which happened to be the Beasts' team colors. Stepping through one of the numerous front doors was like stepping straight into an amusement park. There was so much going on all around that it was hard to stop and focus on one thing for very long. Past all the hoards of people were food stands – tons of them compared to our one back home. There was even a full-fledged restaurant with menus, waiters and the works. Children were lined up to play any one of the various games available, and the bars were already filled with people ready for the party to start. There was even a gigantic team store on the right, just as you walked through the doors, filled with fans dying to get their hands on a t-shirt or a baseball cap.

And that was just the entrance of the stadium.

"This is so awesome!" Sora shouted over all the noise, eyes wide like a kid in a candy store. "I can't believe a place like this actually exists."

"Believe it – because we're standing right in the middle of it." I said, pushing him forward through the crowd. But, honestly, I was having a hard time getting myself to stop staring at everything, as well.

We made our way through the swarm of people without incident, stopping once so Sora could obtain a balloon dog from one of the random clowns scattered throughout the area, and eventually found the section we were sitting in. It hadn't been too far from the entrance, and just as Zack promised, they were actually good seats – close to field and everything. I'd had my doubts when Zack had been the one to guarantee seats with a spectacular view because, c'mon, it was _Zack_. He pulled through, but I'm pretty sure each one of us let out a sight of relief when we saw them with our own eyes.

We were in section 20 and occupied seats 10 through 15. I chose number 13, right between Naminé to my right and Zexion to my left.

"Looks like Zack kept true to his promise," Kairi spoke what we all felt, as she pulled a napkin out of her pocket and began wiping her seat down.

"Yea, shocking." I plopped down onto my chair, and just as my brother's backside hit his own, he jumped back to his feet,

"I need chili cheese fries!" There was a sort of predatory gleam in his eyes as he licked his lips.

"The game hasn't even started yet," I pointed out, but Sora wasn't fazed in the least. "You're just going to get hungry again later."

"Then I'll go get more food." He looked at me as if he'd just said the most obvious thing and I was the biggest idiot on the planet for not having thought of it myself. "Duh."

Kairi stood up, obviously eager to join my brother in his quest for food. It was a good thing they'd taken the seats closest to the aisle because, with the way my brother could eat when he was excited, I had a feeling they'd be back and forth constantly.

"Oh, wait!" Sora jerked back around right as he'd started to leave, nearly knocking Kairi out of her shoes. Just as she lost her balance and was about to hit the ground, he grabbed a hold of her waist, and she stayed unmoving in his arms, eyes looking like they were about to pop out and chest rising and falling with each deep breath taken. Sora was completely unaware of her reaction, though, and eventually let her go. "I almost forgot – does anyone else want anything?"

We all declined, except for Demyx who raised his hand in the air and swung it back and forth like he was a child in school, waiting for the teacher's permission to speak. Except he didn't wait for permission and, instead, shouted out, "ice-cream!" A smile crossed his face. "An ice-cream cone." He sat back down, content in his request, but then, at the last second, he clambered from his seat to stop Sora before he could reach the exit. "Make that a _chocolate_ ice-cream cone!" he shouted out, garnering a few stares, and Sora gave a thumbs up before leaving.

It wasn't until Kairi and Sora left that I actually got a good look at my surroundings. Sitting there in that seat and looking out across the stadium, I suddenly felt incredibly small. More and more people were filling up the stands that encompassed the field, and I was sure when all was said and done there wouldn't be an empty seat in the house. Directly across from me was a huge screen, which, at that moment, was showing the time but would soon be showing the line-ups for the two teams.

Lowering my gaze to the field, the first thing I caught sight of was bright red, spiky hair out in center field – and then I noticed Riku and Zack. The three teammates were all goofing around and only occasionally breaking apart to run down the balls that flew their way from the batting practice taking place. Wakka was in the batter's box, taking swings at the balls Cloud was tossing to him, and after he hit a few to the outfield, and Axel and company let them fall where they pleased, Xemnas, who was standing at the top stairs of the dugout, took notice.

He turned to the man standing beside him, whom I knew to be Saïx, the bench coach, and said something quietly while eyeing centerfield out of the corner of his eye. It didn't take a genius to get the gist of what he'd ordered because Saïx promptly sent a few other Tigers' players to the field. Once Xemnas' message was relayed, the three idiots in the outfield visibly froze, each one daring to glance at the dugout before dispersing immediately. It was almost funny, watching the three of them scramble around, trying to collect the seemingly hundreds of baseballs they'd ignored.

As most of the team was finishing the clean-up process and heading back into the visitor's dugout, Axel, Riku and Zack were still in the outfield diligently gathering baseballs. Most of them were thrown back to the infield where Cloud collected them and dropped them into a giant bin, but some were thrown into the bleachers as souvenirs for the fans.

Axel picked up one last stray ball and began to bounce it around in his hands as he shouted something over his shoulder to Riku, who was trailing behind him. I watched him as he made his way across the field, his every move playing a part in hypnotizing me, and before long, he was standing in front of the dugout, not too far from where I was sitting.

He tossed the ball to the batboy with a wink and began his descent down into the clubhouse when he suddenly looked up, and our eyes locked. We stayed that way for what seemed like forever because I couldn't turn away, my cheeks heating up and a smile on my lips that I just knew made me look incredibly stupid. That's when Riku ran up behind Axel and clapped him on the shoulders, finally breaking our connection, but not before the catcher found exactly what had caught his teammate's attention. I was reminded of exactly where I was when Riku shot me a knowing smile and muttered something into Axel's ear before shoving the unsuspecting shortstop into the dugout.

"What was _that _all about?" Demyx asked, as soon as Axel was out of sight.

"What was what all about?" I feigned innocence.

"Uh…Axel staring over here like some kind of blood thirsty zombie." He looked at me incredulously. "Don't tell me you didn't see it. How could you not? It was freaking weird."

"Nope. Can't say I noticed," I said, hoping after practicing telling the truth for so long, I hadn't lost my talent for lying.

"But it was so obvious!" Demyx turned to look at Zexion in disbelief. "I couldn't have been the only one."

"I didn't see anything either." Zexion kept his focus on the field, as if he had no interest at all in the conversation.

Demyx opened his mouth to say something the closed it again, leaning forward to get a glimpse at Naminé in hopes that she would back up his story, but the girl wasn't paying attention to the three of us at all, preferring to stare off into the distance instead. Finally giving up, Demyx sat back in his seat with a sigh of defeat.

It was only after a few minutes, when the blonde was preoccupied with trying to flag down the guy selling cotton candy, that I chanced a glance at Zexion. He turned to look at me briefly, the tiniest smile on his face, proving that he had, in fact, seen everything.

"Hey, Zexion." Demyx tugged on the sleeve of his friend's shirt. "Buy me some cotton candy!"

Zexion rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're already getting ice-cream."

"I know, but we're at a baseball game, Zexy." That elicited a cringe from Zexion, but Demyx persevered. "You can't have _just_ ice-cream at a baseball game. That's crazy talk."

I didn't know what, exactly, had gone on in that hotel room the two agreed to share after the lobby incident, but whatever it was must have worked because it seemed they were back on the right track - able to handle being in the same vicinity as one another and had started speaking again, even if their conversations didn't go much deeper than cotton candy. It was a definite upgrade form the previous few weeks.

Naminé coughed, breaking me out of my thoughts and reminding me that she was even there. She had been so quiet, so distant, the whole trip that it was pretty easy to forget she was around. I hadn't spoken more than 5 words to her since we left Twilight Town. Neither had anyone else, really. I think they were all starting to take more notice of the change in her because more and more questions began to arise. But those questions only drew Naminé further into her shell, and that only made me more curious as to what was going on with her.

"So, Marluxia's pitching tonight. That should be _exciting_ to watch, huh?" I was hoping the mention of her crush would lighten the mood and maybe get her talking again, but it seemed to have the exact opposite effect. She visibly tensed and bunched up the fabric of her sundress in her hands, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Yea, that's just great." The sarcasm was dripping off of her words, and I knew when she didn't say anything else that the conversation was over.

Sora and Kairi returned just as the first pitch was being thrown, and the crowd cheered at the called strike that Riku took. There was enough food in their arms to feed out entire section – a section that was filled with Beasts fans, leaving the 6 of us the lone Tigers fans. We were probably the only Tigers fans in the whole stadium, actually. It was weird to feel that out of place and was only made worse when my brother and Demyx decided to scream and holler at every single hit made by a Tigers member or every strike 3 Marluxia blew past one of the Beasts.

The first 6 innings of the game were, frankly, boring. Besides a few scattered hits here or there, the action was seriously lacking. But that was the thing about baseball - for me. Sometimes it could be really intense, like 'edge of your seat' exciting, and then at other times it was so slow that I'd be willing to do _anything else_ to pass the time, except I couldn't look away – because even when it seems like nothing's going on, baseball just has a way of pulling you in. And that's exactly how I felt when Axel stepped up to the plate with the bases loaded and two outs.

I knew what a big chance it was for him. It was his shot to show what he could really do, despite the way he hadn't been playing very well the majority of the season. Not that I'd ever actually seen Axel when he was at the top of his game, but I just knew in my gut that he was capable of more than what he'd been showing. He had already managed one hit, but it did little to raise his average or affect the score of the game in any way, but one swing of the bat and a couple of runs batted in would certainly garner him some positive attention and maybe set him back on the right track. It could prove that he was meant to be there, to be playing baseball and that he was meant for the big leagues. And it was crazy to me that I cared so much about the outcome of one simple at bat.

As the pitcher wound up to throw the ball, it felt like everything in the stadium came to a standstill, then the ball flew out of his hand at lightning speed. I closed my eyes, wishing with everything I had that Axel would just hit the ball. As soon as I heard the crack of the bat, my eyes flew open, and I jumped from my seat, hoping to see Axel rounding the bases. Instead, he was standing at home plate, tapping the bat against his shoes. I was just about to ask what happened when my brother started screaming.

"I got it! Outta my way!" I looked over in time to see Sora scrambling to get past Kairi and Naminé. "I got it!"

As he lunged toward me, eyes on the sky, I reached forward to stop him from tumbling to the ground and, before I knew it, there I was, staring at the baseball in my hands as everyone around cheered. Sora hit the floor next to my feet.

"I told you I had it." My brother pouted as he rose to his feet and brushed himself off.

"I wasn't even trying to catch it," I defended.

"You can't just catch a foul ball without even trying. It can't be done!" Sora finished dusting off his pants and returned to his seat when a guy in the row behind us started grumbling about my brother's 'fat head' being in the way. "People go to all sorts of trouble to catch balls, like that." He pointed to my hands, and I clutched the baseball tighter. "Falling over each other, leaping over rows of seats – foul balls don't just drop out of the sky and into someone's hands like a gift from God, so I _know_ you were trying to catch it."

"I was not! I don't know how it happened, Sora, but it did. So just get over it."

"He just doesn't want to admit that he wants Axel's balls," Kairi said, snickering to herself. Her words caught the attention of, not only our whole row, but pretty much everyone within hearing distance, and a few scattered gasps and bouts of laughter could be heard from all around us. "Ball," she corrected, smiling smugly. "I meant to say ball."

"It wasn't even Axel's." I scowled at her. "He didn't even touch it."

"Ok, then." That stupid smile never left her face. "If that's the case, and it doesn't mean anything to you, then why don't you give it to your brother?" Sora perked up at that, and I grasped the ball tighter against my chest. "As I thought." She rolled her eyes before turning back to the field, and Sora let out a sigh of defeat before following suit.

When the crowd broke into a deafening roar, I knew I had missed something important in Axel's at bat. When I turned back around, I wasn't that surprised to see an empty space where a familiar redhead stood a few seconds earlier – the delighted cheers gave that much away. Obviously, Axel hadn't become the hero of the game and, instead, was walking back to the dugout, head hung in defeat. Zack brushed past him on his way and gave him a firm pat on the back, but Axel didn't respond. And my heart sank a little as he disappeared from sight.

"What happened?" I asked Zexion, hoping he'd been paying attention.

"It was a pop-up."

"Oh…damn." I frowned and looked at the baseball in my hand. When I raised my head, Axel had reappeared on the field and was at his shortstop position. And I just knew the rest of the game was going to suck.

* * *

The game ended at 10 o'clock, and Tigers had lost 10 to 4, so while everyone around us was celebrating the win, we were solemnly heading back to the van. We didn't bother sticking around for very long, seeing as team had things to take care of after the game and we had a pretty early morning ahead of us.

"I can't believe we have to leave already." My brother sighed as he slid the key card through the slot that opened our hotel room door. "It feels like we just got here."

"That's because we did." I walked inside and pulled my luggage over to the bed, beginning to pack a few random things away. I rolled the baseball around in my hands for a couple minutes before tucking it under a pile of clothes.

"You really like that thing, huh?" Sora smiled at me as he took a seat on his bed. "I never thought you'd care so much about such a simple thing."

"I don't really," I lied and turned away from my brother's questioning eyes. Not that it mattered. He probably knew I wasn't telling the truth, like always. I just didn't want to admit out loud that something as insignificant as a baseball could mean something to me. "It's just a ball."

"Ah, well, at least you got a souvenir. _My_ souvenir, to be exact." He laughed then, and I sat there on the edge of the bed, watching as he turned his back to me and started digging through his suitcase.

"Hey, Sora?" he 'hmmed' in response, continuing in his rummaging efforts. "Do you like me?" It wasn't something I'd planned on asking, and it certainly wasn't something I'd ever thought of before, but the words just slipped off my tongue before I could stop and really think about what I was saying.

Sora froze, his hands buried under all the clothes taking up the space in his suitcase, then he turned around sharply, eyes wide in surprise. "What?"

"I asked…" I trailed off for a second, turning to stare at the mirror across the way. "If you like me."

"Of course, Roxas. I love you." Our reflections traded glances. There was a seriousness in Sora's eyes, a sort of graveness that made me feel like shit for even bringing the subject up in the first place. "Why would you even ask something like that?"

"I know you love me," I assured him, and he gave a small smile before turning back to his suitcase. "But I don't know how you can _like_ me… after all…after everything. I just don't think I'm a very likable person."

"I think maybe the problem here is that you don't really…like yourself." He met my gaze tentatively, like he wasn't sure if I was about to fly into a sudden rage.

But I didn't. I wouldn't have even had the energy to, anyway. Instead I just sighed, and rolled his words around in my mind. Of course, I liked myself. It was everyone else I didn't like. Other people were the problem, were the reason my life sucked so bad, that's what I'd convinced myself of. But then… I was always the one having issues with everyone else, I was the one intent on taking a situation and making it as shitty as possible. And when I thought of it that way, it was pretty obvious that the real problem lied within me – because I honestly wasn't happy with my life. I didn't like myself.

Before I got the chance to say anything back to Sora, to maybe tell him that he was right and let him know I didn't know exactly where to go from there, a loud banging on the door interrupted. And I actually felt a little relieved.

"I'll get it!" Sora bounded over to the door and swung it open without even bothering to ask who was on the other side.

"Riku, what are you doing here?" I asked, a little surprised to see him standing there in the hall, face blank.

"You." He pointed to me and stepped into the room. Sora shut the door behind him and looked on curiously. "We're switching rooms."

"Um, what? I don't remember agreeing to anything like that." But he grabbed a hold of my arm without a word and began to drag me away. And no matter how much I resisted, I was no match for his strength. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Sora!" I turned to my brother as he giggled away. "Are you just going to stand there and let this psycho treat your own brother this way?" I got my answer as the door was slammed in my face, and I started to bang my fists against it. "That's _my_ room! You can't just throw people out of their own rooms!"

And just as it seemed all hope was lost of ever getting back inside, I heard the lock click and the door opened a crack. "I almost forgot to tell you, its room 18." And before Riku had the chance to shut it again and lock me out forever, I mustered up all the strength I could find and flung myself against the door as hard as I could, ignoring the pain that shot through my arm. Despite my effort, it didn't budge even an inch, and I wound up bouncing off and hitting the floor with a yelp. Obnoxious laughter sounded out from beyond the door before it was closed, yet again.

"I hate you, Riku!" I shouted, not caring how late it was or how many people I was disturbing. Riku deserved to be outed for the douchebag he was. Once my rage had subsided into an extreme aggravation, I decided to just go find room 18.

It didn't take long to find, seeing as it was on the same floor, but once I reached the door, I realized that I had absolutely no way to get inside. Riku, the crazy bastard that he was, hadn't even given me a reason as to why I was being kicked out my own room, so expecting him to do something as normal as handing over a key was out of the question. I let out a pathetic whimper and leaned up against the door, only to find that it was suddenly open and I had fallen right into someone's arms.

"I didn't know you'd be _this_ happy to see me." I jumped back as soon as I heard the familiar voice.

"Riku told me this was his room." I studied Axel warily.

"Oh, it is." He grinned, green eyes alight with mischief. He opened the door wider, allowing me entrance. "We're sharing this room – or we were."

"So, then…why am I here?" I edged my way into the room carefully, letting Axel shut the door behind me.

"Because I wanted you to be," he said matter-of-factly. Leaning back against the closed door, he began to leer at me in a way that was as intimidating as it was kinda hot.

"Why?" It was just a way to ease the tension I could feel in the room, sexual or otherwise, because I knew why Axel wanted me there, or at least I thought I knew the way he felt about me. He never really tried to hide it. I took a few steps back, lengthening the distance between us. Not that we were even that close in the first place, but it just seemed to be the thing to do, what with us being in that small hotel room together – that small hotel room with beds.

"Well, we haven't seen each other in forever, Roxy?" Axel's voice was teasing. "Didn't you miss me?"

"We saw each other last night." I crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring the cutesy nickname because I knew if I let Axel in on how irritating it was, he'd only use it more often.

"Yea, for like 5 minutes." he laughed wryly. "But we never did get to that private performance, did we?"

"I never agreed to that little plan of yours," I said defiantly, as he crossed the room and leaned down so we were face to face.

"You never agreed to switching rooms with Riku either, did ya?" His grin grew wider, more devious. "But here you are just the same." The way his eyes seemed so intent on staring into mine, on making me increasingly uncomfortable and flustered had to be stopped. So I changed the direction of our conversation.

"So, this whole 'Riku dragging me out of my room like a mad man' thing was your idea?" I scowled at him.

"The initial idea was mine, yes." Axel straightened back up. "But how Riku carried out the request, that was all him."

"I'm so sure," I grumbled, taking a seat on the bed I was closest to. Not even 2 seconds later, I felt the mattress dip and turned around to see Axel lying on his back next to me, hands resting under his head.

"So, you're going to sleep with me tonight?"

"What? No!" I jumped off the bed in shock. Axel was barely able to hold his laughter in. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, this bed here," he kicked the side of the mattress with his foot that was hanging over the edge, "is mine."

"How was I supposed to know that?" I asked, backing up a little too far and running into the dresser, making Axel laugh harder. "Besides, I was just sitting on it – and since when does sitting on a bed imply that you're going to have sex with someone?"

"Sex?" he raised his eyebrows in amusement, and the laughter ceased. "Who said anything about sex?" After a moment, the grin returned, even more prominent than before. And I felt like kicking myself for opening my mouth. "But, you know, I guess that just tells us exactly what's been on your mind, Roxy."

"That has_ not_ been on my mind." I'm pretty sure by that time my cheeks were turning a rosy shade of pink. "Why do you have to turn everything into something it's not?"

"Am I turning this - us into something we're not?" Axel asked, his expression completely serious for once.

"I…" What the hell was I supposed to say? What did I even want to say? "I didn't get to take a shower before Riku showed up, so do you mind…?" I evaded the question completely, and maybe not very smoothly, but still… It had to be done because there was no way in hell I was ready to express any feelings I had for Axel. I couldn't.

Axel's expression was unreadable. "Yea, it's cool."

I walked slowly and awkwardly to the bathroom door, cursing Riku the whole way for putting me in that position in the first place – even though it had technically all been Axel's doing. But who cared about logic when I had bigger things to worry about? I opened the door and looked back at Axel.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to jump in there with you or anything." His familiar grin was back, and it relieved some of the anxiety I was feeling. "Unless you want me to…"

I glared at him, although it was a little less heated than usual, and walked through the door. I made sure to lock it, just in case… The shower, the hot water splashing over my skin, breathing in the steam – it didn't really do shit to calm me down, to make me feel less tense. It did absolutely nothing to help me forget that Axel was just beyond the door and we were sleeping in the same room, and I couldn't bring myself to say what I knew I should have. It did nothing to ease the pain of knowing that the next day I'd be back in that crowded van for another day and a half.

When I was finished and was all dressed for bed - meaning I was only in my boxers, because I didn't have anything else with me - I opened the door, expecting to find Axel sitting on the bed waiting for me with a leer and some dirty innuendo on the tip of his tongue. But the room was pitch black, and I could just barely make out his sleeping form. Assuming he was asleep, I shut the bathroom door quietly and set my dirty clothes on the bedside table before climbing under the covers of Riku's former bed.

Sleeping had never been as much of a problem before as it had been those past few days. It had become something more a chore than anything else. Lying there in that total silence, exhausted but not enough to fall asleep was maddening. I twisted and turned. I fluffed my pillows. I kicked the covers off and did everything I could to try and get comfortable. But being comfortable wasn't the problem because the real reason I couldn't sleep was all in my head. It was the nagging thoughts in the back of my mind that just wouldn't leave me alone.

But I needed to sleep. I needed it badly because the next day I was going to have to have my wits about me. Just when I thought I truly was about to lose it right there in that dark hotel room, a voice broke through the silence.

"Baseball was the only thing my dad and I had in common."

It startled me. I'd thought Axel was sound asleep, and at first, I wondered if maybe he was just talking in his sleep. And if he wasn't, then I had no idea what the hell to think about that random confession. I didn't have a clue how to respond.

"It's kind of pathetic, actually." I heard sheets rustling. "Up until the age of 7, I was pretty much ignored by him – until, one day, he signed me up for a little league team, even though I didn't want to. I hated baseball, and God, did I suck major ass at it."

By then, I was sure that Axel was actually awake, but his voice sounded so drained. And not drained in the 'he just needs a good nights rest' way, but more along the lines of utterly beaten down.

"I wanted to quit the team so many times, but I couldn't bring myself to tell my dad because it was the first time in my life that he'd ever taken an interest in me, and I didn't want it to stop," Axel continued. "Then, when I played my first game and happened to glance up into the stands and find him looking down at me and cheering, something…everything changed."

I stayed silent, not even bothering to make a move or breathe too loudly.

"From that moment on, I put everything I had into baseball. I studied it, I watched it, I played it – it consumed me. Every morning before school, every day after school, every single weekend – any and all spare moments were spent dedicating my life to the sport I'd thought I hated. That's probably why I had no friends." He laughed dryly. "But I had my dad, I had him putting all of his effort into helping me become the best baseball player I could, I had him sitting in the bleachers cheering me on, and that was enough."

"And, you know, overtime I grew to love baseball. I loved it, and I still do, with everything I have. It's a part of me I don't think I could live without, a part of me that my dad was proud of. I knew that if I was nothing else to him, I was going to be the best damn baseball player he'd ever seen." I could hear the small smile on his lips. "I was drafted out of high school, first round pick, and I swear I had never seen my dad happier. And I was happy too, because everything was going to be perfect."

"And everything _was_ perfect and amazing, and I seriously thought it would never end." He sighed. "Then one day, I noticed my dad didn't show up to a game – and he _never_ missed a game, not one. And it's so disgusting that the first thing that came to mind was what I'd done wrong, what I'd done to turn him away."

I swear I heard Axel's voice waver, but it was back to normal in an instant. "Turns out he had a doctor's appointment that day…"

Then it was quiet again, and I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted him to continue, to tell more about his past. And the other half of me was just hoping he would go back to sleep, so I didn't have to bear the burden of knowing that Axel wasn't the annoying, carefree person he appeared to be most of the time.

"He had cancer," he said after a few moments, his voice barely more than a strained whisper. "It was treatable, or so we thought, and he still continued to make it out to all my games. Then he made it to half of them, then only a few, until, eventually, he stopped showing up altogether."

"I visited him in the hospital everyday that I was in town, no matter what." His voice was definitely wavering by then, and even though I felt like an asshole, I couldn't stop thinking about how that made _me_ feel so uncomfortable. "We talked about baseball stats, and my team, the next big game and that big hit I'd gotten last Saturday. I promised him that I'd make it to the big leagues, and when I did, he'd be right there in the stands watching it all."

And that's when it all started to make sense to me. The way Axel reacted to me basically telling him that he sucked, why he refused to visit Tidus in the hospital…

"Last year, the final game of the season, we had to go play in Besaid." I knew it was only a matter of time before Axel broke down. I could just tell – there was something in his voice. "We won, and I hit the winning homerun that sent us to the playoffs. The first thing I wanted to do was tell my dad as quickly as possible, so as soon as we made it back home, I took off for the hospital. Once I got there, I sprinted down the hallway to his room, beyond excited to tell him the outcome, to tell him that there was no way I wouldn't make it to the big leagues after all that had happened."

"But when I got to his room, all I was greeted with was an empty bed." There was a clear hurt in Axel's voice, a sense of loss so palpable that even I could feel it. "One of the nurses told me that he passed away that afternoon. That afternoon – the same time I'd been celebrating a victory with my team. I was celebrating and my dad was dead."

And that was the last thing Axel said before I heard his breath hitch and a soft whimper escaped. He was crying. And instead of feeling disgusted, there was a kind of pain in my heart I'd never felt before. And I knew I couldn't just sit there and do nothing anymore. Forget the fact that dealing with emotions was way out of my league, forget the fact that I hated crying and any show of feelings, the only thing that mattered was Axel. The only thing that mattered was the overwhelming urge I had to take all of his pain away, to erase it all, to wipe his tears and tell him that everything would be fine, even if I had absolutely no idea if that was true. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold on like I'd never let go, to tell him that I was there for him and always would be. But I didn't.

Instead, I did the only thing I felt I could handle. I quietly slipped off my bed and crawled onto Axel's. He was still crying, breaths coming out in sharp, quick gasps. I laid down next to him and reached over in the dark to find his hand. Once I did, I squeezed it tightly. And I hoped that the gesture was saying everything I couldn't bring myself to say out loud, that it offered at least some sort of comfort.

Axel never did respond, but after a while, he quieted down and fell asleep. And even after that, I remained by his side, not once letting go of his hand.

I never wanted to let go.


	8. Clarity

**Chapter 8 – Clarity**

Waking up the next morning pressed up against Axel's back was…awkward, to say the least, and I was just thankful that my hasty movements and the sound of my phone alarming weren't enough to disturb him. I knew, though, that if I didn't hurry, Sora would be banging on the door, demanding we leave right away. And when my brother had his mind set, he could wake the dead. With that in mind, I moved around the small hotel room, quietly and quickly as possible, dressing myself back in the same clothes I'd been wearing the night before because everything else I owned was back in my original room.

I was about to head out to the hall when something stopped me - a feeling in the pit of stomach, a rapid beat of my heart. I couldn't leave without some sort of goodbye, so I did what I figured would be easiest and scribbled a few words on a piece of paper, telling Axel I had to leave and would see him later. I left it on his bedside table and looked back into the room one last time, breathing a deep sigh and hoping everything would be okay when we all saw each other again back in Twilight Town, then I walked into the hall to meet up with my brother and the rest of our gang.

The whole trip back home was oddly quiet and serene, and most of it seemed to pass by in a blur. It was a huge difference from the first time we'd all been cramped in that van together and I wasn't sure what, exactly, had changed. We made it back on schedule, having avoided the chaos of getting lost, and when I caught sight of the familiar streets, the quaint little houses, the ice cream shop on the corner, the Tiger's stadium – everything that was so distinctly Twilight Town - it felt good to be back.

Monday was back to the normal routine, another workday just like the many I'd already experienced – the crowded van, the baseball game, the whole entire trip like distant memories. The only thing missing, but not entirely unexpected, was Naminé. Her absence had become such a part of the daily routine that I'm not sure anyone else really took much notice of that empty space behind the counter.

The clock on the wall read 3:15, and the baseball game had just gone into extra innings. Kairi was leaning against the counter, hand propping her head up and fingers tapping along with the tune of some music that was supposed to pep up the crowd. My brother was leaning back in his stool, talking with Xigbar about marshmallows, or candy, or some random plot to take over the world. Who knew? I wasn't really paying much attention because anything a couple of people like Xigbar and Sora could have in common was something I wanted no part of.

Just when I thought I might tumble off the stool and fall to the cold cement, dead from boredom, a shout sounded out followed by rapid footsteps.

"Guys!" Demyx was moving so fast and spastically that he ran clear past the stand and had to backpedal. Once back in front of us, his movements came to an abrupt halt, and he grabbed onto the edge of the counter, taking a few deep breaths. "I just ran…all the way from… from right field.

"Demyx!" Kairi perked up immediately. "Thank God. We need some distraction. It is _so_ freaking boring around here today," she whined and latched onto him as if her very existence depended on it.

"I didn't know you felt this way about me, Kairi," Demyx joked, but from the look on his face and the way he was subtly leaning back, I could tell he feared for his life. Kairi slapped him playfully before finally letting go.

"So, I guess we're not good enough for you anymore, huh?" Sora said. There was a proud grin set on his lips, as if he'd just said the cleverest thing in the world.

"Yea, quit cheating on Sora," Xigbar called out from the back. "Or at least have the decency not to do it in front of the poor kid." My brother's grin disappeared as he choked on the french fry he'd just shoved into his mouth, the stool nearly tipping over and his face turning a very noticeable shade of red. Kairi spun around to glare at the cook as best she could, considering he was pretty much hidden by all the kitchen appliances.

"Oh, quit your pouting, girl," Xigbar said, chuckling. "Your feelings for Sora are as plain as the nose on your face. There's not a person here right now don't see it."

And there it was, spoken for the world to hear – except it was only the 5 of us there, and we already knew, anyway. It was just hearing it out loud, watching the reactions of my brother and Kairi, it only made it all the more real, all the more disgusting.

"Ok, back to me," Demyx, thankfully, interrupted. "I came here today with some news to tell you guys." At that, Kairi immediately turned back around, forgetting all about Xigbar and everything that had just been said. Even my brother, who was still attempting to breathe normally, was drawn in by Demyx's words.

"We'll, c'mon!" Sora said after a beat, hopping off his stool and skipping as only he would, with only a few feet of space, over to the counter.

"Ok, well, I talked to Cloud-"

"Oh, my God." Kasiri gasped, raising a hand to her chest. I rolled my eyes because I just knew the word 'news' had sounded a lot more like 'gossip' in her mind. "Did he get hurt? Is he in the hospital like Tidus?" she asked, despite that, not even 10 minutes earlier, we'd just seen Cloud on the small TV screen. Demyx stood there, blinking, and, apparently, Kairi took his silence as some sort of confirmation. "Oh, no!" she practically shrieked and grabbed hold of my brother's arm. The furrow of Sora's brow proved that some of the girl's crazy had rubbed off on him. "It's bad isn't it? We have to go see him right now." She started to take off her apron, and that was all I could take.

"What is wrong with you two?" I asked. "I mean, besides the obvious." I received two blank stares in return. "You guys are jumping to conclusions without even letting him finish. It's annoying." I nodded toward Demyx, prompting him to continue, and he gave me a thankful smile.

"Right. So, like I was saying…" He paused and cast a weary glance at Kairi and my brother. When it seemed like neither one of them was going to say anymore, he continued. "I talked to Cloud and-"

"But isn't that Cloud on the field right now?" Sora asked, glancing over at the TV. "I mean, if he's not hurt, then he's obviously playing still, right?" Demyx groaned, laying his head down on the counter in obvious defeat. My brother turned to Kairi and they both shrugged.

"I talked to him _before_ the game." Demyx's voice was muffled from his face being buried in his arms, but the aggravation was still crystal clear. Confusion was lifted from Sora and Kairi's faces, and they nodded in time with each other – which was entirely creepy. "Yea, so…" Demyx lifted his head slowly, eyeing the two cagily. "Cloud and the guys want to talk to us about something."

"Talk to us about what?" Zexion, completely decked out in his Tiger costume, appeared in front of the stand. Demyx seemed a little taken aback by the sudden arrival, and he struggled to find the words as he watched his friend lift the head of his costume off.

"Um…I, uh, I think it's about Axel's birthday, which is coming up soon."

Zexion didn't appear to care all that much, letting the head drop to the floor with a dull thud and asking Kairi for a glass of water instead of prying any further. But I wanted to know more. I'd forgotten all about Axel's upcoming birthday, considering I wasn't really in the habit of remembering details of other people's lives and actually feeling like I cared was entirely new to me, but I kept quiet. If I acted too eager to know more, it would be completely obvious that there was more than meets the eye between Axel and me, and I wasn't about to add anymore to the ongoing suspicion.

"Aren't you supposed to be out there in the stands, you know, entertaining?" Kairi asked as she grabbed a plastic cup and began filling it with ice. "Are you even allowed to take that costume off when there's a game still going on? What if some little kid sees you without that head on? They'll be scarred for life. In more ways than one."

Zexion fixed the girl with a deadpan stare. "I've been out there in the heat, dying, for nearly four hours now, and the game isn't even over yet." He kicked the costume head in contempt. "So forgive me if I don't give a damn about what I'm _supposed_ to be doing." Kairi handed the beverage over with a smirk, and Zexion snatched it out of her hands.

Before anything else could be said, the crowd broke into a near deafening roar, signaling that the Tiger's had scored and the game was finally over. Despite his earlier declaration of not caring, Zexion hurried to pick up the vital part of his costume from the floor and scurried away with a small nod in our direction before the fans began to exit the stands.

"Ok, so after you guys are done cleaning and whatever, go to the clubhouse," Demyx reminded quickly, before he turned and ran off.

Some twenty odd minutes later, we were standing in front of the clubhouse door. Sora and Kairi were debating over the best way to go about entering. My brother wanted to do 'the polite thing' and knock first, but Kairi insisted that since we'd already been invited, knocking wasn't necessary. Eventually, I took it upon myself to make the decision and brushed past the both of them, shoving the door open. It hit the wall with a crack, and the argument still going on in the hallway came to a stop. Sora gasped when he realized what I'd just done, but it didn't matter, anyway, because the place was empty.

"Are we sure Demyx knew what he was talking about?" I asked, a little annoyed because there was something else I wanted to do that day, and I wasn't too keen on standing around wasting time, anyway.

"I'm insulted, Roxas." I turned around to see Demyx and Zexion standing behind us. "Are you implying that I'm an idiot?" He smiled, despite his words. "The guys are probably still in the locker room. I'm sure they'll be out shortly." When no one moved, Demyx sighed and placed his hands on Kairi and Sora's backs, pushing them forward into the room. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

So we stood there in that room, everyone else making small talk while I occupied myself with thoughts of what I was planning on doing after the little 'meeting'. I wanted to get Axel something for his birthday, I knew that much. But what to get him was the difficult part – because I never was very good at anything that was supposed to show you cared for someone. That was Sora's department. He was the one who picked out what we got our parents for their anniversary every year. He was the one who found the gifts I gave my friends for their birthdays. But I couldn't ask my brother for help that time, not unless I wanted to let him in on everything. So I decided, despite my better judgment, that I was going to have to spend a perfectly good evening in the shopping district of Twilight Town, scouring all the shops for the perfect gift – all for Axel.

Kairi looked down at her watch and grumbled. "That's it. We've been standing here for ten freaking minutes already." She eyed the door that led to the locker room. "I'm going in there and telling them to hurry their asses up." She took one giant step before my brother grabbed her arm, halting her movements completely.

"You can't do that!" Sora squeaked out, as Kairi tried to wriggle from his grasp. "They could be…" He trailed off, and when he spoke again his voice was a whisper. "Naked."

"Wow. What in the hell did we just walk in on?" Riku was propped up against the left side of the door frame, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Zack was leaning on the opposite side, and Cloud was standing in-between the two - all of them sporting near identical expressions of amusement.

"We come in here to talk about something completely innocent…" Zack said, smile growing.

"And what we get is Spiky, here, grabbing onto Kairi and whispering something about being naked." Riku took a step forward.

"Scandalous," Cloud added.

The three teammates shared a laugh at my brother and Kairi's expense, and I couldn't help but join in because it actually was kinda funny. Eventually, after the shock wore off, Sora was able to let go of the girl's arm, and he took a few hasty steps backwards. "It's not what it looks – or sounds like."

"Oh?" Riku closed the distance between himself and my brother, circling around and studying him before coming to a stop. "Then what is it?"

"It…ah, I was just…" Sora stuttered, obviously flustered and intimidated by the way he was being put on the spot.

"It's none of your damn business, that's what." Kairi had fully recovered from her slight embarrassment, and though her words seemed heated, there was a sort of playful light in her eyes. A light that was always present when she and Riku argued with each other. "Your nosiness is entirely unattractive, just like your face."

Riku scoffed and turned to look at the girl, who had placed her hands on her hips and fixed him with a bold stare. "I do believe this is our clubhouse you're standing in right now, so that automatically makes whatever happens in here our business. Isn't that right?" He glanced over his shoulder at his teammates.

"Yea, I think that makes logical sense," Zack said, pushing himself away from the door.

"You guys are so full of shit." Kairi laughed wryly, shaking her head and trying to hide the obvious smile threatening to show itself.

"Maybe so," Riku conceded. "But what does that say about you – I mean, being here to see us and all?"

As mildly entertaining as everything was, impatience was starting to kick in, and I was relieved when Zexion spoke up. "So, this is cute and all, but aren't we supposed to be here for Axel?" As soon as the name left his mouth, all three Tigers' players jerked around toward the shut locker room door. When nothing happened, Riku turned back to stare at Zexion, shock evident on his face.

"Can you try speaking up a little louder next time?"

"This is a _secret_ meeting," Zack added. "Our Target is blissfully unaware of what's going on in this room, and we'd like to keep it that way."

"Right, I thought that much would be obvious." Riku looked to everyone in the room before opening his mouth again. "This is a mission we cannot fail, got it?"

"Mission? Target?" I asked, wondering why I had even bothered to show up if they were just going to mess around. "Do I even want to know what the hell is going on here? I thought this was about Axel's birthday?"

Three heads swung back around to the door again. Zack's eyes lingered a moment longer before he spoke up in a hushed voice. "Axel is the target, and his party is our mission."

"And that's where you guys come in," Cloud interjected, and I was glad someone with half a brain had decided to inform us of what was going on. "We need your help."

"Ooh, a party!" Sora bounced on his toes, clasping his hands together, and promptly received three heated glares. After running a hand sheepishly through he spikes, he whispered, "What do you want us to do? Are we going to help plan? I love planning parties."

"First things first." Cloud calmly put a stop to my brother's rambling. The outfielder motioned for us to gather closer together. "We have a very important job for Roxas."

"Me?" I was surprised and a little nervous about what kind of 'job' Riku and Zack's insane minds could come up with. It was only a slight comfort that Cloud was going along with it, too. "What could I possibly do to help?" Zack let out this weird sort of muffled guffaw, like he was trying to hold it in but couldn't, and that sent Riku into a fit of giggles as he grabbed a hold of his friend's shoulder. I was annoyed.

Cloud rolled his eyes at his fellow teammates. "We need you to distract Axel." He took a glance at the locker room door again.

"Ha, yea, that's it. _Distract_ him." Riku doubled over with laughter again, barely able to stand on his own two feet, and Zack was pretty much in the same position.

"The point is," Cloud raised his voice just barely, so he could be heard over the commotion, "We need you to go into the locker room and distract Axel while we discuss the plans out here. He was getting in some extra practice out on the field, so he should be back at any moment."

"But why me?" If possible, Zack and Riku started laughing even harder, gasping for air and clutching onto their stomachs. They eventually fell to the floor in a hysterical heap, and I sent a glare their way, but they were too caught up in their idiocy to see it. "I'm not – I can't distract anyone. Sora would be better for a job like this."

"No…" Riku paused to let out another fit of laughter and try to catch his breath. "Trust me, you're definitely the right person for the job."

Cloud cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to him. "So, are you going to help us?" he asked.

"But what about he plans? How will I know what they are?"

"Don't worry about that, bro." Sora patted me on the back and gave me a shove toward the door. I tripped over my shoes and caught myself on the wall, straightening up and turning back around to see all eyes staring at me eagerly. "You know I'll tell you all about them later."

"Yea, so what are you waiting for?" Demyx asked when I didn't move.

It was a simple request; go and distract Axel for a few minutes, so why did it seem like such an impossibly hard task? Maybe it was because of all that had happened in Hollow Bastion – the fact that I hadn't spoken to Axel since that night, and I didn't know what to expect.

"Have fun," Zack gasped out from his spot on the floor.

Seeing as I didn't have much of a choice in the matter, at least not if I didn't want to raise any more suspicions, I sighed and pushed the door open, finally entering the locker room. I was slightly relieved to find it empty and let the door click shut behind me before moving any further. The room was somewhat familiar, having been in it once before, but I'd never gotten a chance to really look around. So, seeing as Axel hadn't shown up yet and I had some time on my hands, I decided to take that chance.

There were lockers lining two opposite walls and two rows of them in the middle of the floor. I started down the middle aisle and saw the lockers belonging to Riku and Zack. I wasn't surprised that they were right next to each other, seeing as how they were technically partners in crime. Axel's locker was right next to theirs, the white jersey with a Number 8 stitched onto the back giving it away. Everything in his locker area appeared normal, nothing out of place or that interesting…until I looked to the mirror and spotted a small photograph taped up in the corner.

I could already tell that the little boy in the picture was Axel – all vivid red hair and green eyes, wearing a baseball uniform and a smile bright enough to rival the sun that was beating down on him. Next to him was a man, smiling just as big with an arm around the boy's shoulders. It took a few moments to sink in, but I realized the man was Axel's father – that was the man that had cemented Axel's love for baseball, he was the one whom the shortstop had been crying over. And, for some reason, I wanted to get a closer look.

I had just taken a small step forward and reached out for the photo when I heard a door open. In my panic to get as far away from Axel's locker as possible, to make it look like I wasn't doing anything but standing and waiting like I was supposed to, I underestimated the amount of space I had and wound up losing my balance and landing awkwardly on the bench in the middle of the floor.

"Roxas?" I tensed when I heard his voice, wondering how much he'd just seen – because, for some reason, looking at that picture made me feel like I was invading on something personal. "What are you doing here?" Axel set a couple bats down on the other end of the bench and looked at me curiously.

"Oh, I was, uh…" I needed an excuse, a lie, which at any other time in my life would have come so easily, but I couldn't think of one. "I guess…I just wanted to, um, see you." It was the truth, at least partially. I just conveniently left out the part about the group of crazy people in the next room plotting their 'mission'.

"Did you, now?" He smiled and started to unbutton his jersey. "That's cute."

I scowled. "I am not cute. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"That's what you'd like to think, but it just so happens that I'm a pretty good judge of what's cute and what's not." He ignored my glaring. "And you, my dear Roxas, are adorable."

"Very funny," I said as Axel balled up his jersey and threw it carelessly into his locker. "You should take better care of your stuff, you know?"

"Thanks for the advice, mom." I was completely ready to say something back to that, until he grabbed the bottom of his undershirt and lifted it over his head. That's when I froze, the ability to blink momentarily forgotten. When he finished removing the shirt, it suffered the same fate as his jersey. He sent a glance my way and gave me that annoying smirk of his as he started to unbutton his pants, and that was enough to bring me back down to earth.

"What the hell are you doing?" I leapt up from the bench, flustered and maybe…probably slightly turned on.

He paused, fingers hovering over the buttons of his pants. "I'm changing clothes," he said, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary and – ok maybe it wasn't, seeing as we were in a baseball locker room and all. But still… "What did you think I was doing?" He didn't give me a chance to reply, not that I would have had anything to say, anyway. "Think that I was trying to seduce you or something – push you up against these lockers and have my way with you?"

"What? No, absolutely not." I shook my head and tried to erase the images that Axel had just given me. "I just…I don't want to see you, like, naked or anything." I scrunched my nose up into something I hoped resembled disgust. "I mean, seriously I don't need that image scarring me for life." I turned away to hide my flushed cheeks, and Axel let out a hearty laugh.

"You kill me, Roxas."

"Gladly," I shot back, and it only made him laugh more.

"You can turn around now," he said a few moments later, placing a hand on my shoulder. I jumped. "What did I tell you about being so uptight?"

"I'm not turning around," I replied petulantly. "You're probably trying to trick me."

"You really think I'm standing here butt-naked in the middle of this locker room – a room which anyone could walk into – just to play some lame joke on you?"

"It sounds like something you would have no problem doing," I said but still turned my head slowly, just so I could barely make out a head of red hair from the corner of my eye. Before I got the chance to find out if Axel was telling the truth or not, I was grabbed and spun around against my will. Relief flooded my veins when I saw a fully clothed Axel standing in front of me.

"See? I told you. Not naked." He leaned back on the wall next to his locker and grabbed my hand, pulling me forward so I almost landed against him. I placed a hand on the wall to insure that at least some distance would be kept between us, no matter how minuscule. "You gotta trust me," Axel whispered in my ear, and it took all of my resolve not to shudder.

It was only then, in that first moment of silence, with Axel's hand still in mine and our bodies so close to touching that I remembered the night in the motel room. We'd been talking to each other for at least 10 minutes and neither one of us had bothered to bring it up. Axel was acting like it had never happened, and as much as I preferred to keep things like that – emotions and such – on the backburner, I felt like it needed to be addressed. We couldn't keep on dancing around the big stuff, replacing everything that should have been discussed with a bunch of little teases and jokes. Not if we were ever going to be anything more than...whatever we were. When I felt Axel's other arm wrap around my waist, I knew I had to say something.

"About the other ni-" But I didn't get very far because the door I'd come through earlier flew open, and I shoved Axel off of me, sending him practically flying into his locker. When I turned around, desperately trying to make it look as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened and praying that no one had seen the position that Axel and I were just in, I saw just who had decided to grace us with their presences. And I wanted to die.

"What are you two doing in here?" Riku walked past me, but not before wiggling his eyebrows and looking back at Zack with a knowing smile. He stopped in front of Axel, who was pushing himself back to his feet. "What happened to you?" he asked with a smirk in place.

"Hope we didn't interrupt anything…important." Zack draped an arm over Axel's shoulder, and the two of them shared a look. It was obvious they'd seen everything, and they weren't even trying to hide it. Never had I wished I had the ability to disappear more than at that moment. After a few seconds of Zack and Riku teasing Axel with annoying little innuendos, I excused myself, offering no explanation and vacated the room as fast as possible. I couldn't even bring myself to look Axel in the eyes, and when the door was finally shut behind me, I heard the laughter start up again.

I explained to the rest of the group still standing around the clubhouse that I was leaving, and Sora promised to inform me about the specifics of the 'mission' later. I rolled my eyes at the ridiculousness of the whole situation and especially at his use of the word and left the stadium.

I was walking because, not only was the shopping district close to the Tigers' stadium, but it had become somewhat of a distraction to me, and in a way, a favored means of getting where I needed or wanted to be. Suddenly, something about being out in the fresh air, the sights and sounds that made up my small town, the warm breezes and the feel of the sun on my skin, it had all become so much more appealing to me. The world just felt like something I wanted to try and embrace instead of avoiding. It was refreshing.

About halfway there, when I was counting the cracks in the sidewalk, my phone rang, interrupting the calm. I dug it out of my pocket and answered, figuring it was Sora calling to annoy me about the party plans.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey. Roxas?" The voice was soft, quiet and most definitely female, so that counted Sora out.

"Yea…" I felt like I should have known who it was because the voice sounded so familiar, and it was obvious that if the person was calling my phone, they knew me. Unless Sora had gone around giving out my number again….

"It's Naminé," she said. I was surprised – surprised that she was calling me, and even more so that I hadn't known it was her on the other end. Had I really been so wrapped up in everything else that I'd forgotten what she sounded like, or was it that she was just never around anymore? Or maybe it was because something about her voice sounded so…off. "I'm sorry for bothering you. I guess I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's fine. You aren't bothering me," I interrupted before she could change her mind. Maybe Naminé hadn't been on the top of my priority list lately, but that didn't mean I cared about her any less. It didn't mean that I wanted to pass up the chance of her actually talking to me.

"Good." She sighed softly. "I was hoping we could meet up for coffee or something." She paused briefly. "That is, if you aren't busy or anything."

"I'm not busy. I was just going into town to buy a gift for Ax-" My breath caught in my throat when I realized my mistake. "For a friend," I corrected. It's not like buying a present for someone's birthday was directly indicative of my feelings for them, but it wasn't just anyone, it was Axel. And I wasn't about to take any chances.

"Well, I could go with you if you want." There was a desperation in her voice that I'd never heard before, and I couldn't have said no even if I wanted to. She gave me the details of where to meet her, and we hung up not long after.

Twenty-five minutes later, I was walking through the door of 'The Java Hut'. The bell rang overhead, signaling the arrival of a new customer, and the employees sitting behind the counter and looking bored out of their skulls immediately jumped up, peering at me through hungry eyes. I spotted a head of blonde hair in the back of the place, sitting in a corner booth, and walked past the front counter, watching each barista deflate as they realized I wasn't going to order anything.

When I reached the table, Naminé was busy typing something on her phone, two cups of coffee sitting on the surface in front of her.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," I said, sliding into the seat across from her. "I was walking."

She looked up from her phone and offered me a small smile. "Not at all." She shoved the phone into her bag and slid one of the cups across the table towards me. It was only then that I realized hers was filled with water. "I only got here like 5 minutes ago."

"How have you been?" I started out with something small when, really, all I wanted to ask was what was wrong with her. But the last thing I wanted to do was scare her back into silence.

She shrugged and tightened her grip on the cup. "I'm okay." Clearing her throat, she spoke up again, her voice vaguely resembling the cheer I'd always known her for. "How are you? How is…everyone down at the stadium?" There was a sadness in her eyes that I couldn't ignore when she mentioned the ballpark.

"We're all doing ok, I think." I lifted the lid off of my coffee and watched the steam rise. "Demyx and Zexion are still getting along well, so that's good. And just before I came to meet you, we were all going over plans for Axel's birthday party."

"So that's who you're buying a gift for." I'd been caught, and I felt my heart nearly stop beating until Naminé began talking again. "I'm missing out on a lot, huh?"

"You can still go to the party," I offered in an attempt to cheer her up. Seeing her so downhearted and almost…broken was hard to take. "And I'm sure when you get to work tomorrow you'll be filled in on the details of the mission."

"Mission?" She gave me an odd look, and I realized that I'd just said the dreaded word without even realizing it.

"Uh, yea. That's what they're calling it." I scoffed and tried to play it off. "It's dumb."

"I think it sounds fun." She looked down with sad eyes at her cup, but didn't bother picking it up. "I wish I had been there."

I was tempted to ask just why she hadn't shown up for work in the first place, but then thought better of it. Instead, I decided to ask what I thought was a pretty simple question. "How come you aren't drinking any coffee?" She'd been the one to suggest the place, after all.

She looked up at me, defeated, and sighed as she shifted nervously in her seat. "Roxas." Her voice wavered just slightly as she spoke my name, and I was almost sure I was going to have to try and deal with a second set of tears in less than a week. By the somber look in her eyes, I knew she was about to tell me something, and I prepared myself for whatever it was. "I'm pregnant."

But I hadn't prepared myself for that.

"You're what?" I shook my head in disbelief, and Naminé cast her eyes back to the table's surface. When she didn't say anything, I was almost able to convince myself that her confession was all in my head. But her voice shattered that illusion.

"I'm pregnant."

"But…wh- How?" It was a dumb question, but shit…the shock of the news was hindering my already weak conversational skills.

"You know how, Roxas." And maybe in another time and place, we might have laughed at that.

"Yea," I said, stalling so I could gather my thoughts. The whole time… on our trip, missing work, all the times we thought she was just feeling sick, Naminé was holding such a huge secret inside. She was pregnant. "But…when- who?" I wasn't trying to be nosy, but she couldn't have expected me to keep my silence after dropping a bomb like that. "I didn't even know you were seeing anyone."

She let out a deep breath and brought up a hand to rub at her forehead. "I wasn't," she said, sounding as if she might break. "I wasn't seeing anyone." She must have sensed my utter shock because she continued. "You remember the day we met the guys on the team?"

I nodded. "The day you ran off all upset?"

"When Marluxia was flirting with Kairi." It was the first time she'd acknowledged the pitcher's existence in a while.

"Yea, and then they disappeared together," I added, not quite sure why we were strolling down memory lane.

"No." She laughed humorlessly, shaking her head, allowing some strands of hair to fall from her ponytail. "No, they didn't."

"What…what do you mean?" I was almost afraid to ask because, suddenly, the fog was lifting and the picture was becoming clearer. And it was a pretty disgusting picture.

"Kairi and Marluxia didn't disappear together," she explained, voice steady. "I ran into Marluxia on my way out of the stadium…"

And that was all she had to say for everything to fall into place. How had I not seen it before? The way she acted towards Marluxia, the strange look they shared the day we all played that game of baseball. It was so freaking obvious that something had happened between them, yet no one could see.

"It only happened once." There was that dry laugh again – the one that sounded totally wrong coming from her. "But it only takes one time, huh?"

And I had nothing to say because my mind was blown. My whole entire outlook on the world was shattered. Maybe I'm over-exaggerating, but Naminé - sweet, innocent little Naminé having a one night stand would just not process in my brain. It wasn't right. It just defied all the laws of the universe.

"I was upset, vulnerable, and I guess in some ways Marluxia took advantage of that, but I knew what I was doing." She sounded much stronger when she spoke up again. "I thought we could become something more. You know, like, a real couple in a real relationship, but…that's not how it worked out. Because being in love and thinking you love someone – those are completely different concepts. And maybe I figured that out the hard way." She stopped and looked down as she placed a hand on her stomach. "But at least I know now."

Even though she was speaking about everything so calmly, it did nothing to stop the rage I felt for a certain pink-haired pitcher. Because how in hell could he do what he did to her and just walk away? How could he ruin someone as pure as Naminé and just get away with it? Maybe I was being irrational, but I didn't know how else to feel.

"Don't get angry with Marluxia," she pleaded, and I couldn't help but feel like she was covering for him. "It's not worth it. I was upset with him for a while, too, until I realized I'm just as much to blame as he is. He didn't force me to have sex with him, Roxas." Just hearing that word from her mouth sounded so wrong. Like, seriously…a fairy probably dropped down dead somewhere. Or some shit like that. "And it's not like he's forcing me to keep the baby either."

"You're keeping it?" It had never occurred to me that Naminé would make any other decision.

"Of course. I know it's going to be," she stopped to take a deep breath, eyes shut, "really hard, but Marluxia is going to help out with expenses, and he wants to be part of this baby's life." She took a sip of her water and laughed nervously. "I'm terrified, Roxas."

I reached across the table and took one of her hands in mine, squeezing it. It was all I could think of to do. I didn't have any life-changing words of advice or wisdom, I couldn't magically make everything easier on her, I couldn't turn back time and change the outcome, but what I could do was offer some comfort.

We left the coffee shop not too long after. Naminé asked me not to tell anyone what she'd confided in me, that I was the only one she trusted and she'd tell everyone else when the time was right. It made me feel good, important, like I meant something to someone.

We eventually made our way to Duval Avenue, a fairly busy street by Twilight Town standards lined with tiny stores, gift shops, and people leisurely walking down the sidewalks. It was the perfect place to find the perfect gift. We stopped by hundreds of different stores without finding anything I deemed worthy enough of giving to Axel, and the time was quickly drifting by, afternoon turning into dusky evening. Normally, I would have been dying to go home, but I was shocked to find myself actually enjoying the outing. Naminé had begun to act more like her old self, and I was acting more like someone I'd never imagined I could be, and together we were having a good time. It was like being with an old comfortable friend, and that was the first time I ever thought of anyone from the stadium as a friend.

I did find Axel's gift that day, although, I like to think that, maybe, it found me. It was hanging up in a small jewelry shop that Naminé suggested we try looking in – a place I would have usually disregarded completely – all shiny silver and utterly perfect in every way - a necklace with a charm in the shape of a baseball.

It was only when I made it back to my apartment that I realized the smile on my face had been there for hours.

* * *

The day of Axel's birthday, I knew all about the plans. It was my job to get Axel out of his apartment and keep him occupied until 7 o'clock that evening, so the rest of the group could set up. I didn't think it would be that difficult, seeing as how Axel liked to be around me and all, but I wasn't exactly sure what we were going to do. I figured I'd just wing it.

I had no idea where Axel lived, having never been to his apartment before, but luckily I had a posse to help me out with that minor detail. Cloud and Zack dropped me off outside of the complex at 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

"You have exactly thirty minutes to remove the target form the base before we infiltrate," Zack told me from the passenger's seat." Call us when you've succeeded, just so we know you're alive and well." I gave him a small salute before leaving the car, starting to actually, kinda enjoy the 'mission', and the car sped off, Zack sending a shout of 'Good Luck' out of the window.

I found Axel's apartment easily and wasted no time in knocking on the door. I received no answer, so I pounded harder next time and vowed to keep doing so until I got an answer. Axel was home. I knew he was because Zack and Riku were keeping close tabs on their friend, making sure everything turned out right. After a good minute, the door finally swung open, and I was greeted by an annoyed, half-asleep Axel who looked like death warmed over. I smiled sweetly, but he just continued to stare at me through half-lidded eyes, so I changed my course of action.

"What the hell is this?" I shouted, pushing my way past the shortstop and into his apartment. It took him a moment to turn around and face me, shutting the door. He looked confused, as if he didn't have a clue why I was in his living room in the middle of the day. "Why are you still asleep at 1 in the afternoon on your own birthday? Seriously, who does that?" He blinked a few times and scratched the back of his head. I decided to be bold and stepped forward to grab his shoulders and shake him a little. "You need to get dressed."

"Why?" He yawned and shoved my hands away.

I scoffed. "Um, duh, because it's your birthday, and that means we have to do something. So, come on," I grabbed a hold of his wrist and pulled him toward the hallway, "let's go."

"What is going on?" He looked at me shiftily, and then a smirk broke out on his face, proving he was much more awake. "This is totally unlike you. I mean, finding out where I live, showing up and begging me to get ready so we can go out for my birthday. I'm not quite sure how to take all of this… You know, I'm kinda getting the impression that you like me."

I took a nervous breath and remembered Zack's words of advice about no room for weakness on the battlefield. "Yep, I guess I do." With that, I pushed him down the hallway.

"It's cute," He said with a wink and disappeared through the door on the very end, leaving me alone in his living room.

His apartment was nice, almost as nice as Sora's, except Axel's didn't look like some 80 year old billionaire lived in it. I sat on the couch for a bit, trying to remain calm even though the ticking of the clock was a constant reminder that I didn't have very long and Axel was taking his good old time.

When only 10 minutes remained until the party committee was scheduled to show up, I jumped from the couch and ran down the hall to the room that Axel was in. "Axel," I called out and hit my fists against the door recklessly. "Hurry up, please!" I didn't register just how pathetic I was coming off as through all the panic I was feeling, but I didn't have time to evaluate my behavior, unless I wanted the mission to be blown. And, for some reason, I really, really wanted it to be a success.

Axel didn't answer, and by that time the desperation was practically seeping from my pores. I was so determined for things to go right that I grabbed at the knob, ready to fling the door open and just deal with whatever consequences, when it suddenly opened. And I made the mistake of looking up to find a half-naked Axel, hair dripping wet, water drops sliding all the way down his chest to the white towel wrapped around his waist.

"I thought you didn't want to see me naked?"

I was speechless, and under normal circumstances I probably would have turned around and run straight out the front door. But circumstances weren't normal at all, so I steeled myself, forcing my eyes from Axel's body, and brought my hands up against his chest. When I felt his skin underneath my palms, I nearly lost all resolve, only the thought of how disappointed everyone would be if I failed allowed me to do what I needed to do and shove Axel back into his room, slamming the door.

I let out a shaky sigh and ran my hands over my face, attempting to calm myself – to erase the image of Axel practically naked in front of me and the feel of his skin, his heart beat, underneath my fingertips.

I walked over to the window in the living room and felt my stomach drop when I saw two cars parking next to each other. The whole group was piling out of the vehicles - balloons, decorations, various items of food and beverage in hand. I reached down into my pocket for my cell phone then took a glance back at Axel's bedroom door. There was no way I could warn Zack that we hadn't left yet without running the risk of Axel hearing.

I was about ready to admit defeat, preparing myself for Zack and everyone else to walk through the door, only to realize that Axel was still there because I was a huge failure, when I heard a voice that made me jump.

"You look like you're about to shit your pants." I turned around to see Axel standing at the edge of the hallway, and let out a sigh of relief. "So, where are we going?"

"It doesn't matter." I ran over and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the front door. He resisted my effort to get him moving and pulled his hand from mine.

"Let me at least get my car keys."

"No!" Axel eyed me carefully, proving that he thought I just might have lost my damn mind. And he was probably right. "We don't have time. We'll just walk."

"What do you mean we don't have time?" he asked, laughing. "You're kinda freaking me out, Roxas."

"Yea, well…" I opened the door and yanked Axel across the threshold with a strength I didn't know I possessed. He almost slammed into the opposite wall, and his eyes widened in surprise when he turned back to look at me. "I just _really_ want to celebrate your birthday." I swore I heard a voice from down the hall, and the panic set in again. "Is there a back way out of here?"

"Uh…yea." Axel's bewilderment might have been more than amusing if I wasn't teetering on the edge of failure. "It's that way." He pointed down the hall to the left, and I took off running again, making sure I had a firm grip on his arm so he couldn't stop us anymore.

"Why are we going the back way?" he asked as we flew down the halls, down a flight of stairs at a speed I didn't know I was capable of. "And why are we running like a couple of bats out of hell?"

"For the hell of it," I called back, sure that I heard voices that time. I made a last desperate sprint for the exit and finally burst through the door, out into the bright sun and the sweet air of freedom.

But I couldn't revel in it because I was certain I would never be able to breathe normally ever again. Axel was panting from some distance behind me, and if a baseball player – someone who was active for a living - was feeling the effects of our hasty escape, then I was probably half-way to my death.

I was on my knees, practically face down in the dirt, gasping for air and clutching the earth beneath my fingers, and Axel starts laughing. The bastard actually laughed, and my first instinct was to pick up some of the dirt beneath my hands and hurl it at his face. But before I could even think of moving, a shadow covered me, and I looked up to see Axel standing over me, holding out a hand. And, just like that, all of my anger was gone.

"So, what was all that really about?" he asked as we began walking down the sidewalk, side by side. "You don't really think I bought that 'I'm taking you out for your birthday, and we're going to run like hell for the exit just for fun' shit, do you? Because I'll have you know I'm not that stupid."

"I actually do think you're that stupid," I said, receiving a shove that almost sent me flying into traffic because, after all that running, my body wasn't functioning correctly. But Axel caught me by the arm before I got too far. "I just wanted to celebrate your birthday, and you were wasting time…"

"Right, ok. I totally believe that, Roxy." He wrapped an arm casually around my shoulders, leaning against me a little, and I was too tired to shove him off. "So what are your big plans?"

I didn't have an answer for that. All I knew was that I needed to call Zack, and the ice cream parlor was a few feet away. "Here." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a 20 dollar bill. Axel didn't react, so I shoved the money into his hand. "Go buy us some ice cream. Go nuts, get whatever you want, birthday boy."

He just stood there for a few seconds, staring at me through narrowed eyes, then a bright smile broke out on his face, and he turned and ran for the ice cream shop. As soon as he made it through the door, I pulled out my phone and dialed Zack's number.

"Well, I did it," I said after the ringing stopped, attempting to keep the excitement out of my voice.

"Yea, we know." Zack laughed. "Project surprise party looks to be a success. Good job, Roxas."

A smile crept onto my lips. "Mission accomplished."

* * *

A few hours later, Axel and I were seated on a bench in Twilight Central Park, eating another round of ice cream that he insisted I buy him. He told me that since it was his birthday, he could ask for anything, and I couldn't turn him down.

"You know, this could turn out to be a very, uh, interesting day," He said before taking a lick of his melting creamscicle. It was so hot outside that it was like a race to see how much of the treats we could eat before the sun decided to turn them into colorful puddles of goo. "I mean, seeing as you can't turn me down."

"I'm not going along with anything you say because who knows where the hell that could take us." I licked up a drop of ice cream that was sliding down my thumb.

"Oh, I know a lot of places that could take us." Axel took the ice cream still remaining on the stick and stuck it in his mouth rather suggestively. He got so wound up in his little show that he went a bit too far and started choking. I rolled my eyes and yanked the stick out of his mouth, little splatters of ice cream landing on the pavement below.

"Oh, yea. That got me so hot, Axel." I laughed as I handed the ice cream back to him, and he snatched it away from me.

"It totally would have…" he mumbled, trailing off. After a few moments of quiet, Axel stuck his finger in front of my face. It was dripping with the sticky orange substance, and I looked at him like he was an idiot. "Lick it off," he ordered with a grin.

"Uh…how about no?" I scooted further down the bench to get away from his crazy ass, but he just followed my movements. "That's gross. I don't even know where your nasty finger has been. Lick it off yourself"

"But you have to do what I say, remember – it's my birthday." He pouted and stuck the popsicle stick back in his mouth.

"Who even came up with that rule?" I asked, shoving his hand away.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "God, I guess."

And for some reason I just started laughing, and Axel followed suit. We laughed when Axel actually did lick his own finger, and we laughed even harder when the rest of my ice cream fell from the stick and created a puddle on the hot cement. We even laughed as we attempted to throw our popsicle sticks in the garbage can and missed by a mile. Everything was funny; everything with Axel made my heart feel light and my problems seem light-years away.

It was after our laughter died down, and the peacefulness took reign that I decided it would be a perfect time to bring up something I'd wanted to talk about for a while.

"Axel," I said, and he inclined his head towards me without actually looking. "About the other night…in Hollow Bastion."

"What about it?" I'd expected him to completely ignore what I'd said, or change the subject, but instead he sounded as calm as ever.

"Well, first of all, I'm…uh. I'm sorry about what I said to you in Sweet Tomatoes that one day." It seriously felt like the first time I'd ever outright apologized to anyone. Axel turned to look at me, expression blank, and I felt the guilt rip through me. "You know, about you not being very good at playing baseball."

"Don't worry about it." He waved me off. "You were right. Sorta. I suck right now." For some reason, it hurt to hear him say that.

"I think you're just trying too hard."

His eyes narrowed slightly, and I felt like I'd said the wrong thing. "What?"

"I think you're trying too hard." I turned away, unable to look into those intensely green eyes any longer. "You're trying to be so good for…" I hesitated. "For your dad." I chanced a glance at Axel, only to find a small smile on his face. "I think you just need to refocus, slow things down a bit. Because you _are_ a good baseball player, you wouldn't be on the team if you weren't. And maybe this is kind of stupid, since I've never seen you play before this summer, but I believe in you. I just kinda - I know in my…heart that you can do it."

Saying all of that, spilling my guts out, felt like the hardest thing I'd ever done, and when all of my words were met with silence, I didn't know what to think. It was only when Axel wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer that I relaxed. And for the first time, I let myself rest in his arms. For the first time, I let just let myself feel.

* * *

An hour later, we left the park and made the journey back to Axel's apartment. When we finally arrived at his front door, it was one minute after seven, and I gave myself a mental pat on the back for having calculated the time correctly. Axel was pulling the keys out of his pocket when he stopped and turned back around to face me.

"I had a nice time today." He was staring at me, and I'm pretty sure I was looking back just as intently. "I'm glad you dragged my lazy ass out of bed – for whatever reason."

I laughed. "Yea, I had fun, too." And I meant that.

It was awkwardly silent for a second as we just stood there in front of his door, before Axel took my hand in his. "I wouldn't have wanted to spend the day with anyone else." As soon as he spoke the words, he hurried to unlock the door and dragged me inside.

And everything happened so fast. He pushed me back up against the door, shutting it in the process, and pressed his body up against mine, both hands on either side of my head. There was something screaming at me in the back of my mind, but I couldn't focus on anything except for the fact that Axel's face was so close to mine, that his lips were barely touching my own.

And that's when shit got real.

The lights flickered on, followed by a chorus of cheers, and then everything went deathly silent. It felt like hours passed before Axel backed away slowly, and I finally got a good look at everyone in the room, all wide-eyes and mouths agape.

I felt like I was going to hurl. I felt like I was going to die, and I knew I couldn't stay there any longer, not with everyone fixated on the two of us, not after we'd been caught almost kissing by a room full of people. It was a glance at my brother that actually got my feet moving, and I ran out the door, not caring about anything but getting as far away as possible. I took off down the hall, down the stairs and eventually down the sidewalk, never once looking back.

Thinking I could get very far without anyone following was stupid, and when I heard the voice shouting out from behind me, I wished I had been faster. "Roxas, wait." But I didn't wait. I didn't stop because Sora was probably the last person I wanted to see right then.

"Go away, Sora," I yelled back over my shoulder, taking bigger strides so I was almost running. "Just go back to the party. Leave me alone."

"No," my brother shouted, and his footsteps became more rapid to catch up with me. "Just talk to me. Stop running away from this!"

"I'm not running away," I snapped, hoping that it would just make him go away, because the more he followed me, the more he tried to make things better, the angrier I became.

"Roxas, please. It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I think I've always known that you were g-"

"Shut the hell up!" I stopped dead in my tracks, whirling back around to face my brother. He halted to a stop after almost colliding with me, distress clear on his face, but I didn't care. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to see someone else in pain besides me. "You haven't always known, ok? You don't know everything about me, Sora. You hardly even know anything at all, so stop pretending like you understand me so well and just…just get out of my fucking head!"

Seeing the obvious hurt on his face, the way his eyes darkened just the slightest bit before he turned and walked away, felt good, just like it always did for the first few seconds. But after I stood there watching him walk away, watching his back get smaller and smaller in the distance, I knew I'd just made everything worse. I sucked in a shaky breath and felt the rage I'd just been feeling slip away, only to be replaced with a dull ache in the pit of my stomach.

I started off down the sidewalk again, the scattered streetlamps the only source of light. The streets of Twilight Town felt even more barren than usual – no cars, no people, scarcely a light on from some random window, and I realized that I had never felt more alone. I'd never felt so hopeless.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, as I stopped to take a deep breath on the corner of some street I'd never bothered to know the name of, I heard footsteps. I couldn't even bring myself to turn around, let alone tell whoever it was to get lost, so I just sighed in defeat and pushed back the tears I felt were about to spill from my eyes. I didn't cry, ever, and I definitely didn't cry in front of anyone else.

"Roxas." I knew who it was immediately, and it took all I had not to turn around and fling myself into his arms. It would make me look too weak, and I couldn't allow that. Not even when I felt like I was at my wit's end.

"Everyone knows, Axel," I said. My voice wavered pathetically, and I brought my hands up to rub my face.

"If it makes you feel any better, my friends already knew that I liked you."

I scoffed. "No, the fact that your crazy friends already knew of your feelings for me doesn't help, but nice try."

"If I had known everyone was there, I wouldn't have…"

"Yea, well, it's too late for regrets." I didn't want to come off callous when Axel sounded so guilt-ridden, but damnit, what else was I supposed to do? Anger is how I always dealt with problems, just because my life had changed quite significantly in the past couple months didn't mean everything was suddenly going to be easy. "Everyone, every single person in that room, now knows I'm gay. I just came to terms with my sexuality, and now they're all probably sitting around analyzing me, talking and- and judging." I ran a shaky hand through my hair in a sad attempt to calm myself.

"They aren't judging you, Roxas. I think you know them better than that." I heard him take a few steps forward, and I finally turned around. He looked as troubled as his voice sounded. "Yea, it sucks, the way it happened, but please don't make this into something bigger than it really is."

"I can't…why don't you- I'm not making a big deal out of this. It _is_ a big deal!" I looked at him incredulously before getting ready to walk away, to storm off again like some little brat who can't handle anything. But I was stopped as a hand grabbed a hold of my wrist and spun me back around. I landed against Axel's chest, and I couldn't help the hitch in my breath, the small display of weakness, as he wrapped his arms around me and trapped me in an embrace.

"Stop running." Those words again, the same ones my brother had tried to say to me, and the regret I felt for snapping at Sora the way I did hit me like a ton of bricks.

"I screwed everything up, I-" I sighed and felt Axel's head come to rest on top of mine. His grip around me tightened, and I felt safe – like nothing, none of the shit that had just gone down, could touch me, like nothing had happened and it was just me and him standing on that darkened sidewalk and nothing else mattered. "I'm not going back up there. I can't."

"You don't have to," he said quietly. "I'm not going back either."

His words brought back thoughts of Riku, Zack, and Cloud – everyone who had put time and thought into planning the party, only so I could go and screw it up. "That's incredibly stupid, Axel."

"I don't think it is." I felt him nuzzling into my hair, and I almost shoved him off until I realized that without his arms around me, I didn't know how I'd feel.

"Well, it is. It's your party," I said. "And the guys worked so hard planning it." As much as I didn't want Axel to leave, I couldn't let my selfishness ruin the whole night. "Just go back, you can't miss out on your own party." I finally pushed myself gently away from him, but he kept his hands on my shoulders.

"I don't care." He said it, but I could tell by the look on his face that he really did. Axel and his teammates were close, they were practically family, and I knew to walk away from something they'd done especially for him was a hard thing to do. But he was doing it for me, and I didn't know weather to feel flattered or guilty. "I'll have other parties. Plus, who made up the 'can't miss out on your own party' rule?"

I shrugged and felt the corners of my lips turning up without my permission. "God, I guess."

We wound up going back to my apartment, seeing as Axel's was off limits. And I was a little nervous about, not only being alone with him again, but letting him see how shitty my place was. But he didn't make any comments on it, and we wound up sitting on the couch pressed up against one another. We sat there for a good 10 minutes in silence, before Axel shifted and looked down at me strangely.

"Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb here, but, either you have something in your pocket or you're just _really_ happy to be sitting here with me." His grin grew, and I almost slapped him until I realized what he was talking about.

I backed away and pulled the small box from my pocket. It was wrapped up in green wrapping paper – that took me three tries to get absolutely perfect - and a tiny red ribbon at the top. Axel blinked in surprise as I held the gift out to him.

"What's this?" he asked, taking the present form my hands and lifting it up to inspect it.

"What do you think?" I rolled my eyes.

"hmm," He squinted his eyes and tilted the package sideways, studying it carefully. "Let me see…"

"Just open it," I said, pretending to be annoyed just so I could hide the nervousness threatening to show.

"You didn't have to get me anything, you know?" he said, smirking obnoxiously as he pulled on the ribbon. "Just being with you is enough."

"I wanted to." I dipped my head, fighting off the blush. I felt stupid for getting so nervous over a birthday gift. But it felt like so much more than some random gift, and I wanted nothing more than for Axel to like it.

When he pulled out the chain and let it dangle in front of his face, his expression unreadable, I wanted to rip it out of his hands and forget I'd ever given it to him in the first place. But then his mouth turned up unto a genuine smile, and I felt like my heart was going to explode.

"This- Roxas, this is awesome." He fingered the small silver baseball pendant, and watched as it sparkled in the light coming from the lamp beside the couch. "I'll wear it everyday."

"No, you won't." I laughed, attempting to act like his reaction was no big deal. "But I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. Best gift I've ever received." He fastened the chain around his neck.

"You are such a liar." I nudged his foot with the toe of my shoe, and he looked up from the necklace. My breath caught in my throat when he moved closer.

"I like you Roxas," he whispered, his face mere inches from mine. "I like you a lot. And that's no lie."

Before I knew it, his lips were pressed up against mine, and if it was possible to die from happiness, sheer joy, I probably would have. Because even though the connection of our lips only lasted for a brief few seconds, I had never experienced anything like it. I had never felt so complete in my whole life. And I didn't know how I'd ever survived before I had Axel in my life.


	9. Summer Nights

**Chapter 9 – Summer Nights**

We spent the majority of the night as if nothing ever happened, trading teases and talking about random things, as we flipped through channel after channel, pretending to be interested in what was on TV. It was easy to forget about everything when Axel was around, easy to pretend like we were the only two people in existence, the only ones who mattered. On a night when, by all rights, I should have been weighed down by a million different thoughts and problems, I was smiling instead. The kiss was never brought up again, either. We knew it happened, knew what it meant, and that was enough.

It wasn't until Axel fell asleep on the opposite end of the couch, and I was all alone, that I realized the calm he brought on so effortlessly was only a distraction from all the chaos going on inside of me. Falling asleep that night wasn't the problem. I was too spent from the day's activities, but that didn't mean the night was simple. My slumber was restless and broken, plagued by dreams that had no logic yet made all the sense in the world. Faces full of surprise, ugly and spiteful words falling from angry lips, baseball and babies, red hair and blue eyes full of hurt.

It was a relief to finally wake up to the sun's rays shining in through the open window, even if it was accompanied by someone relentlessly pounding their fists against my front door. I felt Axel shift as he rose up from the couch, I heard locks clicking and the door opening, and then came the familiar voices.

"Skipping out on your own party, huh?"

"Ah, yea, I'm sorry about that, guys."

"We figured we'd find you here."

As soon as I realized who was responsible for the knocking, I wanted to sink down into the cushions and disappear. I held my breath when I heard the door shut and footsteps following – like, maybe if I just pretended I wasn't there, nobody would notice me.

"So, where is Roxas, anyway?" Cloud.

"Yea, where is the little runaway?" Zack.

"Asleep on the couch," Axel answered. "Apparently not even your loud ass banging on the door was enough to wake him up."

"So, he's pretty beat, is he?" I could hear the smirk in Zack's voice and suppressed a groan. "Just what did you two get up to last night? I seriously hope it was worth missing out on the party of the century!" A short pause. "Judging by that incredibly stupid look on your face, I'm going to assume it was."

My efforts to remain invisible were wasted because the next thing I saw when I opened my eyes again was Zack, peering over the back of the couch, idiotic grin in place. "Good morning, Roxas!" He jumped over and plopped down next to me as I scrambled to sit up straight, throwing an arm over my shoulders and ruffling my hair.

Cloud walked into the room and took a seat on the only chair in my apartment. "Actually, it's good afternoon," he corrected. "You guys slept most of the day away."

Zack scoffed and tilted his head back so he could see Axel, who was walking back from the door. "You're such a bad influence." The shortstop attempted to smack his friend, but Zack ducked and nearly kicked Axel in the shin before he jumped back.

Now, I liked Cloud and Zack well enough – probably even enough to consider them friends. But after the night I'd just had, all that they'd witnessed, the last thing I wanted to do was sit around in my living room, the one place I could always count on for some solace, and pretend to be sociable.

The room became silent, and I noticed that, for the second time in less than 24 hours, all eyes were on me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying to subtly distance myself from Zack, gaze nervously darting around the room. Axel must have sensed my anxiety because he cleared his throat, dragging all the unwanted attention away from me as he hopped up to sit on the counter that separated my living room from the kitchen.

"So, how did you guys know where Roxas lived?" he asked casually, swinging his legs and tapping a rhythm against the counter's surface.

Zack cast a wary glance at Cloud before the outfielder spoke up. "Sora told us." He caught my gaze, voice guarded and careful. "Actually, Riku told us."

"Yea," Zack said, apparently noting my confusion. He scooted forward and picked up a piece of discarded wrapping paper that had been left on the coffee table the night before, eyeing it with a mild curiosity and raising his eyebrows at Axel before throwing it back down. "After he, uh, you know, came back inside, he pretty much sulked in the corner all night long, only talking to Riku and Kairi."

"Oh." The subject of my brother was a sore one, and to actually hear from someone else how much my words had affected him… It sucked.

"So…" Zack averted his gaze expertly. "What, exactly, happened with you and Sora once you ran off?" Seconds passed, awkwardly silent, and I didn't want to answer. I couldn't blame him for being curious, seeing as how the rest of my life had already become an open book for the world to read as they pleased, but I didn't want to talk about the night before, let alone think about it anymore.

"Wow," Axel cut in, sort of like a knight in shining armor coming to the rescue, except not really because, well, it was Axel. He jumped off the counter and shoved Zack out of the way, so he could sit between us. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners? You're so damn nosy."

"What's new?" Cloud said dryly. Zack huffed, pointing an accusing finger at the blonde.

"Don't act like you weren't just as curious," he said, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. "Just because you always act so disinterested…"

"The difference between you and me is that I know when _not_ to cross the line." Cloud offered a rare smile. "You on the other hand…don't. You lack tact, my friend."

Zack was about to open his mouth when Axel interrupted. "I'm pretty sure you guys didn't come all the way over here to be completely annoying and ruin what could have been a rather pleasant afternoon - and if you did, then screw you." He leered obnoxiously at his teammates and stretched his arm out to rest on the couch behind my head, fingers brushing lightly over my shoulder. I tensed immediately, and I knew that Axel noticed because I felt him shift a little.

The gesture itself wasn't that big of a deal. After all, as of the night before, we'd taken things father than innocent, flirty touches. And it's not like I even minded, but… Zack and Cloud were there, like an audience watching every single move we made, and I just wasn't ready for that kind of public display.

"So why have you guys decided to curse us with your presence?" Axel casually brought his arm back to his side, and when Zack and Cloud didn't notice anything – or at least had the courtesy to pretend not to - I relaxed a bit.

"Well, it's nice to know all of the love and affection we hold for you in our hearts is mutual." Zack shoved Axel's shoulder, practically forcing him onto my lap. "We came to find you because you bailed on your party. You know - the one we worked so hard to plan. The same party that we poured our blood, sweat and tears into to make possible." He placed a hand over his heart in jest, and an over-exaggerated frown formed on his lips. "And here I was, thinking we were friends. I'm seriously hurt, Ax."

I knew he was joking, but it didn't stop the guilt from coursing through me. And that guilt was all it took to get my mouth moving, seemingly all on its own.

"Sorry about that." Everyone in the room turned to look at me, something akin to confusion evident on each face. Then the words came tumbling out, and I was helpless to stop them. "I'm sorry for single-handedly ruining the party. If I hadn't run out like a little bitch, Axel wouldn't have left either. And I know how hard you guys worked on everything, and I shouldn't have…run from my problems like that, but that's what I do when I can't handle things, people, emotions. I…I suck…" I trailed off when I realized I was rambling and the room had gone unnaturally still, when everything I'd said was just a huge pile of emotionally charged word-vomit at my feet.

Zack's eyes were wider than usual, Cloud had the decency to avert his gaze to the window, and I just wanted to get the hell out of that room. I'd made a total jackass of myself. I spilled more than I should have, or even wanted to, and everyone was suddenly very clearly aware of my faults, my weaknesses that I'd spent a lifetime trying to keep hidden. I couldn't take the overwhelming feeling of being so…exposed and was just about to stand up and make a run for it, like I always did when life got too real to handle, until something stopped me.

"It's not your fault," Cloud and Axel said in unison. "Don't worry about the stupid party," Cloud finished. "This isn't the first time something we've planned turned out to be a disaster, and it won't be the last, either. Not with the bunch of idiots we've got running things."

"Yea, it's not even that big of deal, kid." Zack laughed, and I had never been more grateful for the uncanny way all of the Tigers' members seemed to be able to ease my anxiety with only a few small words. "You actually made our lame little party plans interesting. Everything is fine. You got nothing to worry about."

What they said was pretty straightforward, but I got the feeling there was something more behind their innocent statements – like, maybe, they were also talking about Axel and me, about my problems that had been so unintentionally uncovered. And that's probably the moment where I truly realized that the people I was surrounded by, the ones who actually meant something to me – they didn't care about my sexuality or my numerous shortcomings. None of them were judging me or treating me any differently than they had before. The only one making it into some huge deal was me.

"So…we're going out for your birthday tonight," Zack said, excitedly, driving away the tense atmosphere for good. "That's another reason why we came over."

"And I don't suppose I get a say in these un-birthday plans?" Axel asked as Zack lifted himself from the couch and stretched.

"Nope." He ambled over to the door, and Cloud got up to follow. "This is our last night off before the upcoming road trip, so that means we're going to have fun. And, Axel, let's face it - you wouldn't know fun if it ran up to you naked, hit you in the face, threw you down a flight of stairs and then chopped off your dick." He opened the door a crack then turned back around with a smirk. "Plus, you bailed on your party, dude. And that means you belong to us." He gave a small salute and took his exit, leaving Cloud to fill us in on any remaining details.

"Meet us at Riku's around 5."

"And don't be late," Zack called out from somewhere beyond view. Then the door was shut, and Axel and I were alone once again.

"Sorry about that," he said, stretching his arm out behind my head again. Without the audience, I was more than willing to lean in closer. "They are the most annoying bastards I've ever known." I could hear the fondness in Axel's voice despite the insult, and I leaned my head back to peer up at him.

"Sounds just like you." He tugged on a strand of my hair, and I let out a soft chuckle before slapping his hand away. "It's no wonder you guys are such good friends."

"Are you seriously sitting there and calling me an annoying bastard?" The amusement clear in his voice and the way he tightened his grip around me just slightly betrayed the offense he was feigning.

"Yea, I am," I teased.

"But…you love me anyway, right?"

And just like that, the lighthearted mood was lifted, the playful banter that pretty much defined our relationship gone, as silence crept back in – ugly, awkward, stifling silence. Axel stood abruptly, our sudden loss of contact a little unnerving to me. He ran a hand through his long, red spikes before turning back around.

"Do you mind if I, uh, take a shower before leaving?" he asked, and I had to turn away because my insides were doing so many back flips that I was sure one look at his face and I'd be emptying the contents of my stomach all over the coffee table.

"Yea, sure. It's down the hall." I pointed the way and immediately felt like a loser because there was only one hallway in my tiny apartment. "There are, uh, clean towels in the linen closet."

He left without a word, and I only turned away from the wall when I heard the bathroom door shut. Rubbing my hands roughly over my face, I attempted to settle my thoughts – an almost impossible task, seeing as I'd never had so much on my mind to sort through as I had those past few months.

The word love, no matter how flippantly it was used, scared me – I'm not gonna lie. Not only was it an emotion, a feeling that I'd never felt, or allowed myself to feel before, but it was Axel that crossed my mind when I heard the word said aloud. It was Axel that I saw when I repeated it over and over in my head - those vividly green eyes, that unruly head of impossibly red hair. Love, love, love. Axel, Axel, Axel. They were basically synonymous in my brain, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

I knew I was fond of Axel. I could easily say, at least to myself, that I liked him…_a lot_. And not in the same way I liked Naminé, or Zack, or Cloud, but more than anyone else I'd ever known in my entire life. I liked him so much that even small absences made my heart feel heavy. And it's not like anyone had ever looked at me the way Axel did, like I was the only person alive. No one had ever made me feel like, just by talking to me, I was the most important person in a crowd of thousands. Even his annoying smirk was something I'd grown to like because it was just so undeniably Axel. The way my heart nearly exploded in my chest whenever he walked into a room, the way how, when our lips met, I'd never felt so complete yet so beautifully broken – how was I supposed to explain all that?

Was that love? Was it possible to fall in love so quickly? Did I even want to be in love? Could I handle it? A million questions were darting through my mind when I heard the door open and realized I must have been sitting there, lost in thought, for at least 15 minutes. Axel walked back into the living room, wearing only his jeans and a towel hanging around his neck. And I was frozen, only able to stare at him as if he was some kind of an angel sent from a heaven I wasn't even sure I believed in. And for a second there, I seriously considered love.

"I don't have any clothes here, so…" He shrugged.

"Oh, right." During everything going on, it had slipped my mind that Axel's stay at my apartment had been spur of the moment, and he didn't have any of his own belongings with him. "I can probably find a shirt of mine that will fit you." I jumped off the couch, eager to reach the privacy of my room where I could continue trying to come to terms with every new emotion I was feeling without a pair of intensely green eyes watching me. It was when Axel gave no response, when I realized how forward I was being, that I stopped and turned back around sheepishly. "Or, you know, we could stop by your place, like, before heading over to Riku's."

Axel's blank expression morphed into one of surprise as he arched an eyebrow. "We?" I seriously couldn't remember a single moment of my life where I had felt more flustered and just totally and completely out of my element. How many mistakes was I going to make in 24 hours? Because I was pretty sure I was heading for a record.

"Oh… I just thought I was going to- You know, your birthday… I thought I was, uh, going."

"Roxas, chill." Axel laughed softly, and I felt some of the apprehension dissipate. "I want you to come with us. You know that. I'm just surprised that you actually want to go, like, without having to be coerced or forced. You're just… you seem different."

"Different?" I asked. That word came as a surprise to me, and I wasn't sure how to take it. I mean, I felt almost exactly the same as I always had…sorta. Ok, so maybe I'd done quite a few things I never, ever would have even dreamed of, like taking road trips across country with a bunch of co-workers, planning missions with insane members of a Minor League baseball team, kissing Axel - but still… Did that mean I had changed?

"A good different," he clarified, giving me a smile and moving behind me. He placed his hands against my back. "My little Roxy is growing up." And without giving me a chance to respond, I was shoved me down the hallway.

* * *

We arrived at Riku's house with plenty of time to spare. After I found a shirt for Axel, he rushed me out of the apartment in a way entirely like my brother, claiming that Zack would kill him if he was late, and he didn't think I should have to witness something so horrible. But it didn't fool me. I knew he just didn't want to disappoint his friends again.

It wasn't until we were standing on the front porch that I remembered how close Riku and Sora had become, and I felt a slight panic settling in as Axel rang the doorbell because it was entirely possible that my brother was sitting just beyond that door. And I wouldn't have a clue how to react.

It didn't take long for the door to swing open and Zack to usher us inside. Riku's house was really nice, but seemed way too big for a single baseball player who traveled for days on end and wasn't home very much in the first place. That was the first similarity I'd ever found between the Tigers' catcher and my brother. As soon as Zack led us into the living room, I spotted Cloud sitting on the sofa in the middle of the room, Riku leaning against the arm of it.

"Our guest of honor is here," Zack announced. The two on the couch stopped their chattering and glanced our way momentarily before turning back to each other and continuing their conversation.

"I can tell you guys are happy to see me," Axel said, as he brushed past me. "I'm _so_ glad I could make it."

"We might be a little more exited if you hadn't ditched us last night just so you could get some ass," Riku replied casually. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but I still felt like running right back out the door, anyway.

"You're about three hours too late for that lecture." Axel took a seat on the edge of the coffee table, and Riku nudged him with his foot. The shortstop didn't budge, though, and promptly received a swift kick to the thigh, causing him to stand back up with a grimace and a glare shot in Riku's direction. "Dumb and dumber beat you to it."

"I resent that!" Zack slapped Axel, hard, on the back of the head and took off for the kitchen. Axel stood in place for a few moments, eyes narrowed in the direction that his teammate had disappeared before hopping over the table and sprinting after him.

"I like how I'm always surrounded by morons," Cloud commented off-handedly, as he reached for a magazine lying on the table and flipped it open. "It makes me look much smarter in comparison."

"I'm not an idiot," Riku said, and Cloud looked at him blankly. "Ok, well, Roxas isn't an idiot," he offered, pointing at me. The sound of my name came as a bit of a shock because I was sure no one had even noticed I was still standing there.

"Ok, I'll give you that. Roxas and I are the only non-morons in this house right now," Cloud replied, keeping his eyes focused on the pages he was turning through. "You, however, are just as bad as the rest."

"Maybe I am," Riku conceded. "But you love me anyway, right?"

Thankfully, before I had the chance to think too much on that all too familiar statement, the front door opened then slammed shut, the sounds of incredibly girly screams, rambunctious laughter and rapid footsteps following. Axel and Zack were back in the living room with the rest of us a moment later, the latter just out of the shortstop's reach as he made a grab for him. Zack ran behind the couch, cackling, Axel moving to stand in front of it.

"Guys!"

Axel stood with his arms crossed; a glimmer of victory in his eyes as Zack jerked to the left and he followed the third-baseman's movements exactly. The same thing happened when Zack attempted to move in the opposite direction, and he let out a little moan of defeat.

"Guys!"

Just when it looked like the two of them might be standing where they were for the rest of the night, staring at one another, neither willing to admit defeat, Axel made a sudden leap forward, his feet landing on the couch cushions. He was about ready to make his final lunge toward Zack when Cloud reached over and grabbed his legs. Axel let out a yelp and tumbled to the cushions below. Zack and Riku howled with laughter, giving each other high-fives and a bunch of weird handshakes when Cloud's voice rose over the noise.

"Guys!" he still had a hold of Axel's legs, and the three Tigers' teammates quieted immediately, like a group of children who had just been reprimanded for doing something naughty. "Can you guys at least _try_ not to be annoying? We should be leaving right now, but if you want to spend the night running all over Riku's house like a bunch of unruly children, then be my guest. I'll be in the car. Feel free to join me when you're done wasting time." With that, Cloud promptly rose from the couch and left.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" Zack asked, making faces at Cloud's back as he followed him out the door.

"I thought we were waiting for Sor-" Axel cut his words off and cringed, glancing at me ruefully.

"Uh…no," Riku said, calmly. "It's just the five of us tonight."

So Sora wasn't going to be tagging along. I felt horrible for the relief that washed over me at that revelation. It's just that I didn't want to deal with the problems between us…ever, if I could help it. And I definitely didn't want to ruin yet another night that was supposed to be about Axel. Not again.

We started for the door when Riku, who was leading the way, stopped and turned back around. "I almost forgot." He looked to Axel and reached into his pocket. "Reno's coming to visit next week."

Axel's expression fell dramatically, and I was dying to know why. "You're shitting me, right?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Why the hell would he tell you instead of me? That makes no sense at all." He paused. "Then again, this is Reno we're talking about…"

Riku smirked as he revealed the cell phone in his hand. "You left this at your house last night." He handed it over to Axel. "I answered it."

Axel groaned and Riku patted him on the back a couple times before heading out the door. There were a million questions on the tip of my tongue that I was dying to ask, like who the hell this Reno person was. But even if I could have worked up the courage, I wouldn't have had the chance, because Axel had already started to walk away. And I desperately tried to pretend like it didn't hurt that he hadn't bothered to wait for me or even look back.

* * *

"You brought us to the carnival? Seriously?"

We were standing right at the entrance of the Twilight Summer Carnival. The carnival had always been a big deal for the kids of Twilight Town, seeing as it was the last major event before the start of the next school year. I'd been there probably a million times over the years. My parents would take Sora and me every summer when we were small, and the two of us would have to be literally dragged away, kicking and screaming - because when you're a kid carnivals should never end, and summer was supposed to last forever. The last time I'd been was the summer before my senior year, and only because Sora literally got down on his knees and begged. I was over the whole carnival thing, though, claiming that I was too mature for something so childish and silly when, really, I was already just too jaded and cynical for my own good.

The sun was just starting to set, lights blinking in the evening glow, the sounds and smells of a perfect summer night all around. It was all so familiar, so much like a childhood that seemed so distant it almost physically hurt. As I stood there, really taking it all in, I recalled how Sora and I used to always prefer the carnival at night because, according to my brother, that's when things came to life, that's when the magic happened. And I couldn't help but wonder how he'd react if he knew I was there without him.

"Is that a problem?" Zack finally responded to Axel's question. "Not like it actually matters, though, because you don't have a choice."

"We were going to head down to the bar on Bay Street," Riku said. "But then Cloud kindly reminded us that Roxas isn't of legal drinking age yet, so that shot our plans to hell." I frowned at the fact that I'd unintentionally ruined another set of plans

"Shut up, Riku." Zack walked over and leaned on my shoulder, offering a warm smile. "I wanted to come here, anyway." He shot a glare across the way at Riku and Cloud. "I was temporarily outvoted. But as you can see, I won in the end, thanks to you."

"I don't mind," Axel cut in, scanning over the area, and he seemed like he was a few billion miles away. "It looks like fun."

"Now that that's settled…" Zack bounced over to Cloud. "Hand over the money, so we can get our tickets." I figured since Cloud was the sensible one of the group, who wouldn't blow every penny on something stupid like playing every single carnival game 10 times over, he was put in charge of the money they pooled for our little night out. Eventually, Zack was handed a few bills, and he took off running for the ticket booth.

"Zack, I swear to God!" Riku called out as he trotted off after his friend. "If you don't divide that shit up equally…" And it was more than slightly amusing to watch a couple of grown men quarrelling over carnival tickets.

Our first stop was a small booth, not too far from the entrance, that Zack insisted we check out. It was a game involving tiny plastic balls and fishbowls - the kind that looks like it involves no skill at all but is so obviously rigged because, no matter how hard you try, the stupid little ball never lands where it's supposed to.

"C'mon, Roxas. Give it a go." Riku shoved one of the balls into my hand.

"I suck at these games," I said, because it was the truth. Sora was the one with talent for silly, little carnival games in my family.

"Doesn't matter," Cloud said, indifferently. "Everyone sucks at 'em because they're rigged."

The man behind the booth grumbled, and I laughed quietly at the fact that Cloud and I were pretty much thinking the same thing. Squeezing the ball in my hand, I focused on a particular fishbowl in the middle of the set-up – supposedly the hardest one to conquer, the one that awarded the biggest prize. I knew it was hopeless, but I tossed the ball, anyway. It bounced around a few of the bowl's edges, not even landing remotely close to where I wanted it before falling somewhere in the dirt behind the stand.

"Better luck next time, Rox." Zack appeared next to me in the blink of an eye, gaze focused intently on the fish bowls, five balls in his hands. He glanced over at me. "I plan on winning."

None of the first four balls landed in any of the bowls, or anywhere near them for that matter. Cloud warned him that he better make the last one count because they weren't wasting anymore money on the game. Zack closed his eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath and raising his hand up over his shoulder like he was about to throw a pitch. Then he tossed the last ball, and much to my surprise, it actually landed in one of the bowls. Granted, it wasn't the best one, but by the way Zack cheered and boasted, he seemed to think it was a worthy accomplishment. And at least he'd gotten one in. That was more than I could do. The Tigers' third-baseman was all smiles as the guy manning the stand handed over a small teddy bear. It was a tiny brown thing about as big around as my fist, and holding onto a red heart with the words 'I love you' scribbled across it.

As we started to walk away, Zack sauntered over to Axel. "Here." He held the stuffed bear out to his friend. "Happy Birthday!"

"Wow, thanks." Axel took the bear from Zack and looked it over, tugging at the small heart attached to its fluffy paws. "You know, I was just thinking; 'I wonder when Zack is going to prove his love for me with some crappy, little stuffed piece of shit from the carnival?' And what do you know…"

"Well, then." Zack pretended to be offended, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his nose up in the air. "If that's the way you feel, then I'll just take my prize back and give it to someone worthy of such an amazing gift." He looked around at everyone who made up our small group, eyes landing on silver hair. "Like, Riku." The catcher scoffed, rolling his eyes, and a pout formed on Zack's lips.

"That's alright." Axel grinned, flipping the bear from one hand to the other. "I'll accept your sad, little gesture of love. I mean, after all, you did work really hard getting that ball to land in the fishbowl, so I guess I could be a little more appreciative, huh?" Zack shoved him with a smile before catching up to Riku and Cloud, who had decided to move on without the three of us.

We spent a while wandering around the carnival grounds, playing the various games scattered about. And when I say a while, I mean forever. Axel, Riku and Zack, turned the whole outing into some kind of competition to see who could win the most prizes – because apparently proving you were a master at juvenile carnival games was somehow a show of masculinity or something. Cloud and I took part in a couple games here and there but mostly preferred to stay in the background, watching the silliness play out before us. At the end of it all, Zack walked away the winner, which actually didn't come as much of a surprise. He wasted no time in rubbing his victory in his teammate's faces as he walked away from the last stand, arms full of prizes.

"You know," Riku said, peering down at the lone stuffed elephant in his hand. "It's actually pathetic how good you are at these games."

"I sense some jealousy," Zack countered, balancing the stuffed animals and assorted cheap, plastic toys he was attempting to tote around.

"Yea, that's it." Riku laughed, turning around to face us and walking backwards. "You're good at kiddy games that rely on pure luck, while I'm an expert at a game that actually takes some real talent and skill. I'm totally jealous of you."

"Oh, we're going to take it there, now, are we?" Zack flicked a small, blue, plastic ring at the smug catcher. Riku picked it up from where it landed in the dirt and slipped it onto his finger, raising his hand to show it off and batting his eyelashes.

"If we're really going to take it there," Cloud spoke up, shoving his hands into his pockets, "then I think we all know I'm the best baseball player on the team

The three of them continued their banter, and I tuned them out, instead focusing my attention on Axel who had been abnormally silent during the whole exchange. He was still hanging onto the bear Zack had given to him and a small, tacky necklace shaped like a key that he'd won from one of the various games. I couldn't help but wonder if his silence, the way he seemed sort of distant ever since our departure from Riku's, had anything at all to do with Reno, whoever he was.

It was more than a little disconcerting to see Axel like that, and maybe that was the reason I had the sudden urge to be near him, to let him know that I was there, no matter what. Maybe it was the whole atmosphere of the carnival, the way it all had me feeling a sort of longing for a past I'd thought was dead and gone that caused me to close the distance between us and grab a hold of his hand. In that moment, I didn't even care that we were surrounded by a ton of different people, and after Axel jerked slightly in apparent surprise at my bold action, he seemed to relax and smiled down at me.

"Hey, guys." Zack spun around and stopped rather suddenly when he caught sight of Axel and me. Blinking a couple of times, lips twitching up into a grin, he finally finished what he was going to say. "We're gonna go on the ferris wheel, so hurry your asses up!"

And everything just felt right.

The line for the ferris wheel was pretty massive, just like I'd remembered. It had always been a popular ride ever since I was younger, and one of mine and Sora's favorites. The long wait didn't seem to bother any of the Tiger's members, though. They just stood in line, talking and laughing as usual – making the most boring of situations exciting just by being themselves. I think that's what I liked the most about being around them.

The line had just inched forward when a familiar voice shouted out over the noise. "Hey, Roxas?"

I immediately let go of Axel's hand without explanation, noticing his brow furrowed in confusion. But there wasn't any time for explanations of any kind because Hayner was fast approaching.

"I thought I saw you earlier, but then I said to myself, 'Roxas at the summer carnival? No way!'" He laughed as he came to a stop in front of me, and I noticed the small, brunette girl clinging onto his hand. The relief that washed over me once I realized he hadn't seen Axel and I holding hands was like none other. There was no way I could face Hayner, explain everything that had happened over the past few months, and expect him to understand so easily – especially not in the middle of that carnival.

"Man, I seriously can't believe you're here. Sora finally got you to come out again, huh?" I cringed at the reminder that Sora was absent, but Hayner was too busy running his mouth a mile a minute to take notice. He had a habit of doing that, of getting so wrapped up in his own tales that he failed to pay attention to anything else. It almost made me smile. "You guys totally should have called me. Selphie and I could have met up with you –" He paused and wrapped his arm around the girl next to him. "This is Selphie, by the way, the girl I told you about." He winked at me as she offered a shy wave, I nodded back in greeting. "Dude, I swear, I haven't talked to you in forever! How have you been? Where's Sora?"

I didn't have to see to know that everyone in my group was looking on in bewilderment at the fact that Hayner had hardly stopped to take a breath. He tended to have that effect on people.

"I'm not here with Sora…" That certainly caught his attention, and it seemed like he finally took note of the different faces all surrounding me. "I'm here with, uh…this is Zack, Riku and Cloud." I pointed to each man respectively, leaving out the detail of them being part of the Tigers because, if Hayner found out, he'd stick around the whole night long. It was strange for me not to want him to stay, seeing as we'd always been practically attached at the hip. I felt like the worst person alive, but I just couldn't help it.

Hayner was still looking on curiously, waiting for me to continue. "And this is Axel, my…uh, my friend. These guys are my friends." It was hard to act like I didn't see the flash of disappointment on Axel's face. "Guys," I turned to face my group. "This is Hayner. I've known him forever." They exchanged greetings, then the line moved forward and all of them, including Axel, moved on ahead.

"So, where is Sora?" Hayner asked, still eyeing the Tigers' players over my shoulder oddly. "He's always at this thing. And always begging you to tag along, but you're here with…them." I could've sworn there was a slight resentment in his voice.

"I don't know where he is," I replied honestly, with a shrug that I hoped came off as uncaring. "He didn't come with us."

"Wow, really?" Hayner looked considerably shocked and he had every right to. After all, if anyone knew the kind relationship I had with my brother, it would be the person I'd considered my best friend for 10 years. "I'd have thought if anyone could get you to come here it would have been your brother… Did something happen?"

There was a time when I would have been more than eager to tell Hayner all about my problems with Sora, to hear his advice, which was always stupid yet still made me feel better just because I knew someone cared. But things had changed. Like it or not, Hayner and I had drifted apart, life had taken us in completely different directions, and I'd found other people I could reply on. The dependency I'd once had on him and my other friends was gone, and that in itself was sort of frightening – to know that there wouldn't be anymore late night drunken phone calls from Hayner, no trips to the mall with Olette, no more hanging out at Pence's house when we should have been out at least attempting to be productive members of society, it sorta felt like I'd just been shot in the heart and left to die.

But it also felt like a brand new beginning, for all of us. Because I knew, no matter what, even if we didn't hang out like we used to, there would always be a place for them in my life and vice versa. And there was no on to blame, really, because sometimes things just happen. People grow apart, the world keeps on moving, and life changes. Relationships come and go, and even the strongest bonds can fray. Sometimes things can't go back to how they were, no matter how bad you wish it, and the only thing left to do is move forward.

"No," I lied and faked a smile. "Everything is fine with me and Sora. He's just off doing his own thing. We don't have to be with each other all the time, you know?" I laughed it off and hoped the subject would be dropped, because I didn't know how long I could continue to talk about my brother and keep that smile going.

"Oh, well, that's cool."

Everything we probably should have been saying to each other drifted off into the silence that took over - because sometimes hearing the truth out loud is too much. And, really, what is there left to say when holding on to the past is just too painful?

"Your friends are about to get on the ferris wheel without you." Hayner pointed over my shoulder.

I turned around briefly to see that they were, indeed, at the front of the line already. "I guess I better go catch up with them then," I said, but I didn't move.

"Yea." Hayner looked down to his feet.

"Are you guys gonna go on it too?" I asked, just to be polite, like talking to someone I'd just met. Hayner and I were anything but civil with one another, preferring to call each other names and roughhouse, instead. But I guess there wasn't really a 'Hayner and I' anymore.

"Nah." He looked up and shook his head. "We've been on it twice already."

"It's my favorite," Selphie said timidly, hiding a smile behind her hand.

"I guess, I'm just going to go then." I took a hesitant step back because I knew once I actually did leave…everything would be different. "It was nice seeing you."

"Yea, it was," Hayner said, a forced smile on his lips that was so unlike him.

There were no promises to call or hang out that time, just a couple of sad smiles and mournful goodbyes for a dying friendship. Then Hayner was walking away, disappearing into a crowd of people like some random stranger, and the only thing that kept me from falling apart was Zack calling out for me and the discovery that I wasn't alone - that somehow, without even realizing it, the people I once tried my best to avoid had become important to me. They had become my friends.

* * *

"Cloud is the old maid tonight." Riku was teasing his teammate when I finally walked over. "He gets to sit all alone."

"I wouldn't have to if you and Zack could pry your lips off of each others' asses for a few seconds." Cloud crossed his arms over his chest, not even bothering to hide the purse of his lips. And that was probably the first time I'd seen the outfielder resort to such immature tactics.

"Aw, Cloudy is jealous." Zack pinched the man's cheeks and was promptly shoved away. "You're kinda cute when you're upset."

"Cloud can sit with Roxas," Axel offered, not even bothering to look my way. "I'll sit by myself." That caught Zack and Riku's attention, and their mouths simultaneously dropped. It might have been amusing if Axel's not-so-subtle rejection wasn't eating away at me.

Zack glanced at me before turning his attention to his teammate. "Excuse me?" Axel turned away from him, pretending to be interested in the cotton candy stand across the way. "You can't sit alone. That's Cloud's job, and you can't take that golden opportunity to rip into him away from Riku and me, ok? You just can't. I won't let you."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

No more was said on the matter because the guy operating ride was urging us to get on or get out of line. Cloud took his seat first, and Riku and Zack made sure to embarrass him fully as they shouted out, "lonely ride in bucket five!" Cloud threatened their lives, and the two teammates were eventually forced to sit, but that didn't stop their mouths. Axel and I were seated last.

The wheel inched backwards a little so the next couple could get on, and I could hear Riku and Zack behind us, still relentless in their teasing. Cloud's veritable promises of what they were in for once we were off the ride reaching my ears, as well. Their antics were a slight comfort to me, a reminder that some things were still same - relaxed, even - because sitting next to Axel was as uncomfortable as it could get, a sort of unease surrounding us that I'd never felt in his presence before. I could tell that his silence, the way he was ignoring me so blatantly, was because of something I had done. But I didn't know what that something was because I had done so much wrong.

I chanced a glace his way to see him messing around with the necklace. Clearing my throat, I watched as Axel's eyes stopped roving over the chain, but he still didn't look at me. "What's wrong?"

He scoffed, twisting the necklace around his finger. "Nothing, Roxas."

"It's not nothing," I replied bravely, not sure if it was such a good idea to start what could turn out to be an argument when we were stuck together on a ride that would lift us high into the air with only a lone metal bar holding us in. "If nothing was wrong, then you wouldn't be ignoring me."

"I'm talking to you," he said bitterly. "Therefore, I'm not ignoring you."

"Maybe not now," I turned to face him, very slowly, considering we were about halfway up in the air by then and, though I wasn't normally afraid of heights, I was a little scared of them when the only thing keeping me from falling to my death was a wobbly, metal cart. "You think I can't tell that you're upset? Do you honestly think I don't know anything about you by now? C'mon, Axel. I don't know what I did to piss you off, but – I'm sorry." The apology slipped off my tongue with such an ease that I didn't even blink an eye, or notice what I'd done until Axel's head jerked up and he finally looked me in the eyes.

"Don't." His expression softened, and he sighed. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault. I know what you just went through last night, and then with that Hayner kid back there – I just…" His grip on he tiny, stuffed bear tightened, and I remained silent. "Is this truly ok with you, Roxas? Because I really, really like you…but I don't want you to think that you have to do something you're not ready for."

"Axel, I-" I was almost grateful for the interruption that followed.

"If the buckets a rockin', don't come a knockin'!" Riku called down to us, and I peered up to see him and Zack leaning over the back of their seat, giggling as they rocked it back and forth.

"Will you two just shut the hell up already?" Cloud's voice could be heard faintly. The two up above instantly lost interest in Axel and me, turning back around in favor of bothering the outfielder some more.

And I was sort of sad to see their attention go, because it brought back the fact that I needed to speak up, to respond to Axel's question. And I didn't have any clue what to say – because I liked him, too, but admitting something that big, that potentially life-changing out loud was still hard, even when other things had gotten so much easier. So, instead, I decided to do something that didn't require words, just action – bold actions.

I lunged forward, forgetting all about the fact that we were almost at the very top of the ride and quite a few feet off the ground, and grabbed a hold of Axel's face, forcing him to look at me. Without wasting any time or letting him get in any words of surprise, I pressed my lips against his, and anything he was going to say became nothing more than a muffled groan. I let my hands brush across his cheek, trailing down to rest behind his neck. My fingers tangled in the tendrils of his red hair as he brought he free hand – the one that wasn't still holding onto the stuffed bear and necklace - up to grab a hold of my chin and pull me forward even more.

The cart we were sitting in rocked back and forth unsteadily, but I couldn't have cared less. Maybe Axel's lips on mine had filled me with some kind of bravery, a feeling that if I was in his arms then nothing could go wrong. I tentatively pressed my tongue against his lips, and he froze for a second before opening his own mouth and letting our tongues intertwine. I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, pressing our bodies as close together as possible, then Axel let a sort of breathless moan escape. It was all almost too much to take, sitting there on that ferris wheel, a million miles up in the air with Axel's tongue in my mouth - and nothing had ever felt more perfect, more real.

We were still wrapped up in each other when I heard the cart above us start creaking again. "Damn!" Axel and I broke apart quickly, albeit reluctantly. "You guys should be charging money for a show like that," Zack called down to us, Riku laughing his head off all the while, of course. I shot them a glare that they didn't catch because the ride was moving again, and when it stopped, Axel and I were at the very top.

I used to love sitting at the top of the ferris wheel when I was younger because you could see for seemingly miles and miles. Sora would always claim that you could see the whole city of Twilight Town from up there, and we would always try to find our house out of the hundreds in sight. There was something so humbling about sitting up there among the stars and looking down on my lazy, little town.

"It's nice up here." Axel's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Yea, it always has been."

"You can see the stadium from here, you know?" He pointed straight out in front of us, and there it was in plain view. And I couldn't help but wonder how many times Sora and I had sat up there and overlooked it, never giving it a second thought, never knowing how, one day, it would play such a big part in my life.

"This is incredibly lame and all…" Axel trailed off as he unclasped the necklace in his hands. "But I want you to have this."

"Wow, thanks." I smiled as I echoed his earlier words. "I was just thinking; 'I wonder when Axel is going to prove his love to me with some tacky, little necklace from the carnival?'"

We shared a laugh as he fastened it around my neck. The rest of the ride was spent in comfortable silence, and I never once let go of that silly necklace.


	10. Lift Me Up

**Chapter 10 – Lift Me Up**

The night spent at the carnival actually turned out to be the most real fun I'd had in a while. And although I'd never admit it out loud, I was grateful to Zack for coming up with the idea. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I never wanted to leave and seriously considered resorting back to my childhood ways of screaming and crying and having to be physically dragged out. Because I knew once I walked through the exit I'd have no choice but to face reality. And reality, especially mine, was a bitch.

It was the very next day, when the team had officially left for their week long road trip, that I realized how different things were. I was completely alone for the first time in weeks, free from all the chaos of the outside world and rid of my stupid, stressful job – at least for a few days. I didn't have to deal with annoying co-workers or unruly customers. I wasn't being thrust into situations I couldn't handle or forced to act sociable when all I wanted to do was fade into the background. I was free to do whatever I pleased, and it was almost as if everything had gone back to the normal I'd so desperately longed for ever since Axel waltzed into my life and screwed things up. But sitting there in my tiny living room on my even tinier couch and trying to slip back into a pattern I thought I'd perfected was impossible – because what I'd once considered normal wasn't good enough. Not anymore.

And like most everything else in my life, I wasn't sure how to deal with that. So I didn't. Instead, I deliberately spent those 7 days all alone, basically cut off from everyone, which wasn't really hard because, besides a few voicemails from Naminé and texts from Demyx that I ignored, no one was banging down my door. And maybe it was really shitty to disregard the people who actually seemed to care about me – because God knows there weren't very many - but I just couldn't bring myself to talk to any of them after all that had happened. I wasn't ready. The only human contact I participated in was when Axel and his teammates would call or send texts, but they were few and far between and didn't do very much to fill the sudden gaping void in my life.

It was 4 whole days before I ventured out into the world. And only because my cupboards were empty and no one was around to remind me to stock them up. Because my brother had made it clear he wasn't going to drop by and greet me with one of his smiles that always made me feel just a little bit better, or call me up and invite me on some stupid adventure that I would normally hate but was sort of hoping for. He wasn't going to show up at my front door and force me to get off my sorry ass and do something instead of watching the world pass by, or offer some lame advice that I'd never take seriously but still kinda wanted to hear. He wasn't going to tell me he understood everything I couldn't bring myself to say and apologize for something that wasn't even his mistake to begin with, like he tended to do. And what hurt the most was that it was all my fault, and I had nowhere else to lay the blame.

I couldn't blame Sora for taking my words seriously, for finally giving up on me. After all, he'd taken more shit from me than any normal human being really should, and I suppose I was lucky that, despite my constant efforts to push him away, he stuck around as long as he did. But that didn't stop it from hurting – because Sora was, and always had been, the one constant in my life. His friendship and understanding was the one thing I knew I could always fall back on when life took its toll. But he wasn't there to catch me anymore, and without Axel around to help me forget, I felt lost.

And maybe the trouble between Sora and I – if not able to be completely mended - could have been lessened with an apology. If I could have just swallowed my pride and forgotten the fact that, even though it had become a little easier, I still hated dealing with emotions. But then, that's not how things were supposed to be. Sora was already supposed to know I was sorry. Because that's how it had always been, and I just couldn't let that go.

When Monday finally rolled around, it was hard for me to accept the fact that I had to rejoin the living and face everyone, including my brother. Despite the comfort of seeing Axel and the other Tigers players again, I couldn't help the dread swimming through my veins at the thought of returning to work. And besides that, I had no choice but to catch the bus for the first time in a while. Alienating everyone in your life tends to leave you with very few options.

After a mildly annoying bus ride and a sluggish 3 block walk, I arrived at the stadium with plenty of time left to kill. And because there was no way I was going to head to the concession stand and spend more time around my co-workers than absolutely necessary, I snuck past the entrance, where Demyx was conveniently absent, and walked to the opposite side of the ballpark, clear across the way from where I was supposed to be. I took a seat in one of the outfield bleachers, content in watching the grounds crew work on the field.

I wanted to stay glued to that seat forever, spending the rest of my days watching game after game of baseball – because at least baseball was straightforward. The rules were already set out before you, and all you had to do was play. But, eventually, the only option I had if I wanted to keep a job I _needed_ was to make my way to the concession stand. So I did just that. Very slowly.

As soon as I rounded the corner, I could already see Kairi and my brother taking part in their round of early morning flirtations. It took all the courage I could muster to see Sora laughing and smiling away, seeming as if he didn't have a care in the world, and not turn and walk away. I sucked in a deep breath and took a few guarded steps forward. That was when Kairi stopped in the middle of some, most likely, vomit-inducing comment she was whispering into Sora's ear and her eyes widened, like she hadn't expected me to show up.

That, of course, alerted my brother that something was up, and he turned around to look. As soon as his eyes met mine, I halted in my tracks because no matter how hard I tired to make them, my feet just wouldn't move. A few, lingering moments passed, and the silence that took over was so loud in my ears, laced with so much awkwardness and tension, so many unspoken words, that I felt like screaming. But I didn't because Sora was still looking at me with eyes that reflected the same hurt I was feeling. Then his smile died completely and he spun back around without a word, as if I wasn't even standing there. And despite at least granting me a look of pity, Kairi did the same.

After that, I had to literally force myself to walk behind the counter. Neither Kairi nor Sora paid the slightest bit of attention to me as I walked through the door and took a seat on my stool in the corner. They were in a world of their own, one where I didn't even exist, which, actually, wasn't all too different from how it had been in the past, how I'd always wanted it. Except it was, because I _didn't_ want it anymore and found myself actually sort of longing for Kairi's constant nagging, the way she seemed to love getting on my last nerve. And if that doesn't scream desperation, I don't know what does. But Sora wasn't speaking to me, and so that meant Kairi, in some show of misguided loyalty, wasn't talking to me either.

Minutes passed like hours, in which I felt like giving up and walking away – away from Kairi and Sora, away from the stadium, away from the job that I desperately needed. It was only the thought of Axel, the fact that he and the rest of the team were such a short distance away that kept me hanging on and allowed me to resign to the unease that had taken up residence behind the counter.

Eventually, I took to leaning back against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest and closing my eyes. If I was going to be ignored so obviously, then I was going to ignore Kairi and Sora back just as hard. Childish? Definitely. But it made me feel a little better to pretend like I didn't give a rat's ass, like I wasn't bothered in the least by their blatant disregard. Never mind that all my petulance did was prove just the opposite.

"Oh my God," Kairi shrieked out of nowhere, startling me out of whatever false reverie I'd created for myself and almost sending me tumbling to the floor. I somehow managed to keep my balance and, figuring it was just Kairi being Kairi, I leaned back and continued in my efforts to ignore the world. "Naminé! You're actually here."

That caught my attention immediately, and I looked up to see a head of blonde hair and familiar blue eyes. Naminé's presence at work been so scarce that I automatically expected her to be absent, but there she was, standing right in front of the counter like a beacon of light out on the dark, stormy seas, and I had the sudden urge to leap over the counter and grab hold of her, never letting go - because with Naminé around and willing to talk to me, maybe some of the tension could have been erased. Maybe I'd actually be able to survive the rest of the day, the last few weeks.

"Does this mean you're back?" Sora asked with a smile on his face that could light up the world a million times over, but his voice betrayed it. He sounded so small, distant and completely unlike himself. And as much as that bothered me, because it meant that he was hurting, too, it brought to light the fact that somewhere underneath all the hostility and bitterness, he still cared.

"Hey, guys." Naminé smiled softly, hands clasped in front of her. She took a moment to look at me, and there were no accusations behind her eyes, no blame for not returning her phone calls, only an unspoken understanding. "I'm not…" She trailed off for a moment, averting her gaze to the floor, and my slightly lifted mood plummeted once again because I knew something was wrong. Something was about to ruin my illusions of a semi-tolerable day. "I just came in today to talk with Cid."

"Cid?" Kairi's nose scrunched up in confusion, and she looked at my brother who shared her expression. "Why in the hell would you willingly do that?" Her attempt at adding some sort of humor to the situation was lost as everything remained painfully silent.

Naminé tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was, um, turning in my uniform and stuff." Kairi was about to say something when she was cut off. "I'm quitting." Then the redhead's mouth snapped shut, and it was my turn to make a scene.

"What? No, you can't! You can't leave me here alone…" I trailed off when my outburst garnered me a few startled stares and I realized how much of a pathetic mess I really was. It's just that without Naminé around, nothing was ever going to be ok in that stupid, little stand. Things were just going to stay shitty, and I didn't want to have to face that. Sora's eyes lingered on me for a few seconds after everyone else looked away, but I was too busy desperately clinging onto the hopes that Naminé had just shattered to pay much attention to him.

"You can't quit!" Kairi ran out from behind the counter. "Don't leave me! I'll be all alone with a bunch of guys, and it'll be like some huge sausage fest." She seemed to contemplate her statement, smiling faintly at the prospect before continuing to pout. "I don't want you to leave me!" she whined then lunged forward, arms outstretched and ready to tackle the girl in front of her. A flash of panic crossed Naminé's face, and she stuck her hands out and grabbed hold of Kairi's shoulders, stopping her advances rather abruptly. The redhead looked rightfully surprised by the action.

"I've been sick, and I don't want you to catch what I have," Naminé explained hastily. Kairi didn't seem quite convinced, but, for some reason, she let the subject drop.

I chanced a glance at my brother, and from the furrow of his brow, I could tell he wasn't buying the flimsy excuse either. I was the only one who knew the real reason why Naminé was so hesitant to hug Kairi. Once their bodies were pressed up against each other, it would be pretty easy to tell that Naminé was pregnant. And, apparently, she wasn't ready to reveal that secret yet.

"Why are you quitting?" Sora asked, turning his back to me just slightly. "Is something wrong? What happened?"

"I'm fine. This is just something I have to do," Naminé answered vaguely. "I can't be here anymore. Not right now."

"But we only have, like, a month and a half left!" Kairi grabbed onto her friend's hand, pleading. "That's not very long. Can't you just hold out until then?"

Naminé shook her head glumly in response, not willing to look Kairi in the eyes. I could tell she wasn't ready to leave, that she didn't want to. But what choice did she have, really? It would only become increasingly obvious that she was pregnant over time, and if she was intent on keeping it a secret, continuing to work at the stadium wasn't the way to go about accomplishing that. Then there was the fact that she'd have to see Marluxia day in and day out, even if it was just on a TV screen. And if I was having a hard time just being in the same vicinity as my own flesh and blood after our little fight, then I could only imagine how Naminé must have felt. Even still, I wanted her to stay. It was incredibly selfish, but damnit, I _needed_ her.

"There's nothing we can do to make you stay?" Sora was still leaning over the counter at that awkward angle so he didn't have to see me.

"I'm afraid not." Naminé forced a smile onto her face. "I'm going to miss you guys, a lot." She let out a weary sigh that kinda hurt to hear. "But I have to do this."

The last of our goodbyes were said, and then that was it. Naminé was walking away to go find Demyx and Zexion and leaving me to what I was sure would be my doom. And I was helpless to do anything about it.

It wasn't long after that that the gates opened and the customers started flooding in. And the rest of the day passed by relatively smoothly, with no screaming complaints or threats of reports to the boss to speak of. Of course, there was still the fact that no one was acknowledging my existence, but there was work to do and a baseball game to watch on TV, and those things helped to distract from the ever-growing tension.

By the time the game reached the ninth inning, I was counting down the final outs with an enthusiasm unlike any other I'd had ever had for the sport. All I wanted was for the game to end so I could clean up as fast as humanly possible and make my way to the Tigers' clubhouse to see my friends, to revel the comfort they offered.

Eventually - but not soon enough for me - the Tigers won and the crowds of people began to file out of the stadium. I grabbed the washcloth and cleaner from under the counter and began to scrub the surface furiously, not wanting to waste anymore time. Kairi watched me curiously for a few seconds, but I ignored her completely, even when she leaned over and obviously muttered something about me into Sora's ear.

Demyx showed up about half-way through our cleaning efforts and took his normal place of leaning up against the counter. To my relief, he didn't bother me with annoying questions I didn't feel like answering, or things I couldn't - and wouldn't - talk about in front of Sora. He just greeted me normally with a friendly smile, and then Kairi dragged his attention away, talking about something I honestly didn't care enough about to pay attention to, all the while fiddling with a bunch of straws she'd just replaced.

I was in the middle of untying my stupid apron, ready to high-tail it out of there, when a voice interrupted and ruined everything.

"So, Roxas, I hear you're as queer as the day is long."

I froze on the spot and lifted my head up to see Larxene leaning against the opposite wall, flashing a feral grin. I was at a loss for words because even though it had been completely obvious since the night of the party, no one had actually spoken about my sexuality, and especially not in front of so many people. Not to mention, Larxene hadn't even been there, and I'd hardly ever said more than 2 words to the woman before. Not that she needed a reason to be an absolute raging bitch. It was as natural to her as blinking was to normal people.

As soon as she spoke, Sora took a step forward, anger evident on his face. My brother never got angry, always choosing to solve problems with a smile and a few calm words, so it was a tad surprising to see him react that way, especially over something said about me. But almost as soon as it showed itself, the anger was gone, and he stepped back, continuing to sweep the floor.

Larxene crossed her arms over her chest arrogantly. "Word on the street is that you got something going on with Axel." Her vile laugh rang out all across the empty halls, and I felt like I was in the middle of some cheesy after school special. "That's so cute! I mean, just look at the two of you… A couple of flaming losers finding love with each other because no one else would waste their time on either of you. Sounds like the makings of a fairytale, don't ya think?"

Demyx looked at me then turned to Sora, incredulity evident on his face. "Are you just gonna stand there and let her talk like that?" My brother stopped his movements and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then he just shrugged weakly and cast his gaze back to the floor.

"Larxene, cut it out," Demyx said, when it was obvious that no one was willing to rush to my defense, not even my own brother. And it stung like nothing else, but maybe that was my own fault - maybe I was the only one to blame for the way things were turning out. After all, I'd been an incredible bastard to a lot of people in my life, and I probably deserved exactly what I was getting.

"Stop what?" She pushed herself away from the wall and took a few steps closer. "I'm just telling the truth, stating the facts. I don't see any harm in doing that."

"Actually, you're just being a bitch, but what's new there?" I was surprised to hear the words come out of Demyx's mouth, shocked that he was willing to risk his neck –because that's exactly what one did when one took on Larxene and still had to work closely with her - for someone like me.

"Of course, I'm a bitch, Demyx." She scoffed. "I never said I wasn't. But one thing I'm not is a liar. And that's more than I can say for some people around here."

When her eyes landed on me, I just wanted to cower away in the corner. And I hated myself for that, for not fighting back and acting like a weak little bitch with no convictions that had to let everyone else fight their battles for them. But, seriously, there's only so much one person can take, and Larxene was capable of breaking even the strongest people. Not that I was strong, though – far from it actually. It was only in the face of Larxene's spiteful words, in finding out how Sora could hurt me so deeply without even saying a thing that I realized how weak I truly was, how the constant anger and irritation I showed to the world was just a cover for the fact that I was incredibly frail and broken inside.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Demyx asked. And again, he was the only one bothering to speak up.

"What I mean is there seems to be a lot of juicy little secrets among your group." Her smile became even more threatening before she spoke up again. "I'm guessing by the reaction that Naminé didn't bother to tell you the real reason she's quitting."

"Shut up about her." I was able to find my voice somehow, but it lacked venom and sounded so feeble that Larxene just laughed harder. "Leave her out of this." I wanted to beg, to drop to my knees and plead because it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Naminé was being dragged into everything because of me, but things were already spiraling downwards faster than I could keep up. All of my co-workers looked lost beyond words at the mention of our friend, and I knew it wouldn't be long before Larxene answered their unspoken questions.

"Oh, Roxas." She shook her head, feigning pity. "Poor, pathetic, little Roxas. Don't want your friends to know that you've been hiding yet another secret from them?" She leaned over the counter, placing a hand on my shoulder in mock comfort. Her touch felt like poison, and I jerked away immediately. "I can't say I blame you. I mean, your first little secret is the reason why your brother hates your guts, right?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," I murmured, looking away and trying not to think about how Sora hadn't bothered to deny her words.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kairi finally broke her silence, her voice every bit the crazy I knew she could be. "Why are you talking about Naminé?" She slammed down the containers of straws she'd just fixed up and they scattered all about the area.

"If you really must know…" Larxene shuffled over closer to Kairi, leaning forward so they were level with each other. Had I not felt like I could break down at any second, I probably would have been a little more worried that 2 clear psychos were so close to one another. We were just lucky that nothing had burst into flames or spontaneously combusted…yet. Sora must have sensed the impending disaster because he placed a hand on Kairi's arm. "Sweet, perfect Naminé went and got herself knocked up," Larxene finished with a sneer.

I knew it was coming, but I didn't expect to actually hear her say it – because how could she have even known? Naminé told me she hadn't spoken to anyone else about the pregnancy, and even if she did, why in the world would she decide to spill her guts to someone like Larxene? And that's when I suddenly realized that she'd known all about my fight with Sora and how I'd been unexpectedly outed, yet she hadn't even been there when it happened. I was certain that none of the people I'd considered friends would stoop so low as to spread something like that around. And even though Sora wasn't talking to me, he would never betray me in that way.

Then everything clicked. It all came together, and I realized the only other person who knew about Naminé's pregnancy that had also been at the party was…

"You're lying." Kairi practically snarled out, clenching her fists tighter. Sora's grip around her arm tightened. "Naminé would have told me something like that, so I have no reason to believe your lying ass. You just want to start shit because that's your only joy in life."

"It's true alright." Kairi's attempt at insulting the woman did nothing but feed her ego, because Larxene _did_ like starting shit. She thrived off of conflict and ruining people's lives. "You don't have to believe me, but maybe you should just go ask her yourself."

Kairi was just about clawing over the counter by that point, and Sora had to wrap his arms around her waist to keep the impending bitch fight from taking place right in the middle of that hallway. I was sure that with the unnatural strength Kairi possessed, she could have taken my brother out in an instant and gone after Larxene, but it was lucky that she liked Sora enough not to hurt him and just stay put, for the most part.

"Why don't you just get out of here, Larxene," Demyx suggested calmly. "I think you've done quite enough."

"I haven't even done anything." She shrugged innocently and backed away from the counter. "Roxas is the one with all the secrets. First hiding the fact that he's a big, fat homo, and then not speaking up about a dear friend's unfortunate condition…" She paused and lifted a hand to her chin, pretending to muse over her words. "And he kept all that from his own brother. I mean, seriously," she looked to Sora, "what kind of relationship could you two have possibly ever had?"

"It wasn't my place to tell anyone about Naminé," I defended, but it was in vain because Larxene had a way of twisting things around and making people feel how she wanted them to – like you were a puppet on the string and she had all the control. A gifted manipulator, she was. I could give her that much.

I looked to Kairi and my brother for any sort of response, but they refused to meet my gaze. Demyx offered a sympathetic glance before turning his attention back to the piece of work known as Larxene, and that's when I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I ripped my apron the rest of the way off, throwing it to the ground and startling my co-workers with the sudden action. I was done with Larxene and her games. What I needed to do was find the source, the person who had spilled everything to her in the first place, so I jumped over the counter and began running down the hall, ignoring Demyx's calls.

"That's right." Larxene's voice was the last thing I heard before I turned the corner. "Run away like you always do. That's worked out brilliantly for you in the past."

* * *

I ran without stopping or turning back, my feet leading the way to the door of the Tiger's clubhouse. Once there, I didn't even bother to stop or catch my breath because I was angry, furious, hurt, running purely on adrenaline, and nothing was going to stop me from doing what I felt like I needed to do. I threw the door open, and when it hit the wall with a sharp crack, several startled pairs of eyes turned my way. But I ignored them all and scanned the room for the one person I was searching for.

"Roxas?" I could barely hear Cloud's tentative voice over the deep breaths I was taking and the absolute mess my mind had become. "What's wrong?"

"Where is he?" Rationally, I knew there was no way that anyone could have possibly known who I was talking about, but I wasn't in a rational state of mind, and so the lack of answers pissed me off. "Where is he?" I shouted out. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that I was making an absolute scene I would later look back on and regret, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Where is who?" Cloud asked, sounding rightfully confused and maybe even a bit worried. "Axel? Is that who you're looking for?"

I shook my head fiercely, still looking around the room in case I'd missed his stupid pink hair. "No." I finally turned to look at Cloud. "Marluxia."

He studied me carefully, obviously surprised by my answer combined with the way I'd barged into the room like a raving lunatic. "Marluxia's in the locker room…" That was all I needed to hear, and I took off for the door on the opposite side of the room without offering an explanation for my strange behavior. "Why do you want to see him?" Cloud asked a little frantically, but I ignored him and barreled right through the door.

My boisterous entrance to the locker room caught everyone's attention immediately, all movement and conversation coming to an abrupt halt. It wasn't hard to spot Marluxia – he always stood out in a crowd - at the very end of the middle aisle of lockers, half-way dressed. In my rage, he was all I could focus on, and I brushed past Axel, ignoring his questions and stomping over to where the pitcher had already started going through his locker again.

It had been my intention to tell the man off, to give him a piece of my mind and maybe yell and scream a bit. All I had wanted to do was let him know exactly how I felt about him, but standing there behind him, watching him crack jokes with a couple of his teammates as if nothing had ever happened and he was just going about his day, like he wasn't a sneaky and disgusting bastard – that was all it took for me to crack.

I grabbed a hold of his arm and twisted him around so he was facing me. At first, blue eyes narrowed in irritation, but when Marluxia looked down and saw me, a grin broke out across his face, and I had to stop myself from throttling him. Instead, I chose to ignore the fact that he was a million times taller and stronger than me and could probably kill me with one blow, and pressed my hands against his chest, shoving him as hard as I could against the wall we were standing next to. He hit it with a crack, and I watched the absolute fury fill his eyes, like he couldn't believe I had dared to touch him. And hell, even I couldn't believe I'd done it, but everything over the past few months seemed to be reaching a fever pitch, and I felt like I had no control over my emotions or my actions anymore.

"You're a real bastard, you know that?" I thrust a finger up against his chest, and he laughed in a way entirely like Larxene. He thought it was funny, and I was dead ass serious, so I moved closer and stood on the tips of my toes in an attempt to get as close to his face as possible. "You had no right to tell anyone." I kept my voice dangerously low, mostly because I knew if I spoke any louder, the wavering would be obvious.

Marluxia allowed the silence to stretch on for a few seconds, letting the scene we were making sink in completely. The entire locker room was deathly still - guys still paused in their attempts at getting dressed, as I stood there, eye to eye with the Tigers' star pitcher. I barely noticed the sound of a door opening before Marluxia finally spoke up.

"You better control this little bitch." He looked towards Axel, both warning and amusement clear in his voice. "Or I'm going to be forced to hurt him."

"Roxas, c'mon, just stop this and tell us what's going on," Axel pleaded, and when I turned to look at him and saw the worry marring his features, I backed away from Marluxia. But only a little, because I wasn't going to let things go that easily. I had too much that I needed to say, to get off my chest.

"This piece of shit," I pointed to Marluxia, ignoring his haughty sneer, "is going around, running his mouth about stuff that is none of his damn business!" I looked back at the pitcher, who was staring down at me like he was above having to stand there and listen to what I was saying. "You know, I had my doubts about you, but I was still hoping you'd turn out to be an ok guy, for Naminé's sake, for the baby. But it's clear to me now that you're just a disgusting excuse for a human being, and you always will be. I feel sorry for Naminé." My speech caused quite a few varied reactions - questions and murmurings from the other inhabitants of the locker room and a light chuckle from Marluxia that only served to enrage me even further.

"What are you talking about, Roxas?' Cloud asked carefully, but I wasn't given anytime to respond.

"I don't give a fuck what you have to say. Why would I even care what some little fag thinks about me?" Marluxia scoffed, and I wondered how I'd never seen the horrible side of him before – how, apparently, no one had, if the confusion and apprehension taking over the whole room was any indication. "And just so you know," he leaned over and smiled widely, lips curling in a way that sent chills up my spine. "Naminé _liked_ it."

And that was it, the breaking point, because all I could see after that was red, and harsh words didn't feel like enough, anymore. So I lunged at him, not caring that the he had all the advantages and the only thing that could possibly come out of the fight was more problems.

When Marluxia and I tumbled to the floor, I realized it wasn't just about him. I was fighting for everything that had happened over the past few months – Naminé and her baby, Axel and the tears shed for his father, harsh words I'd spewed at people far too many times to count, the way I'd screwed my relationship with my brother until it was beyond repair. And the first punch I landed against his cheek felt like a release, like I was ridding myself of all the hatred and self-loathing deep inside.

There was noise all around as Marluxia and I rolled around the floor, both of us struggling for dominance - shouts and screams, voices carrying over each other, Axel's being the loudest to my ears. I couldn't focus on any of it, though, because my heart was pounding in my ears and my breathing was erratic. Eventually, I lost any small bit of control I held and was just blindly swinging my fists, hoping to land at least one decent punch.

It didn't take long for Marluxia to gain dominance and pin me to the floor, and as much as I wanted to keep fighting, I just couldn't. All of the anger and rage had just left me drained, and there wasn't much I could do with so much weight sitting on top of me. I was ready to just give up, to raise the white flag and let Marluxia do what he willed, when he starting laughing - because, like Larxene, he took pleasure in hurting people – and I somehow found enough strength to lift the upper part of my body off of the floor. I didn't know what I was going to do with my hands pinned to my sides, but I couldn't stand looking at his ugly face anymore. I didn't get a chance to do much of anything, as it turns out, because I received a swift blow to the stomach that knocked all the air out of me, and I fell back to the floor, defeated.

Everything after that became blurry and distorted - disjointed movements and rumbling voices. All I could do was shut my eyes and hope I didn't get hurt too badly. Mere moments later, I felt the weight of another body lifting off of me, and I rolled over on my side, attempting to breathe steadily, to bring the room back into focus.

"You're one lucky son of a bitch, Marluxia!" I heard Axel yelling through the haze, and I finally opened my eyes to see him being restrained by both Riku and Zack. "I would have beat your ass into the ground."

"Are you ok?" Cloud asked, and it was only then that I realized he was kneeling at my side. After a few seconds, I nodded wearily, and he helped me sit up.

Marluxia was laughing manically while being held back by Leon. "Beat my ass into the ground, huh?" He smirked cruelly. "You know I don't swing that way, Axel. And besides, I thought that's what the little faggot over there was for."

"Shut the hell up!" Axel tried to wrench his arms out of his friend's grasps, and it seemed like he was about to win the struggle against them until Cloud left my side and walked over to the shortstop, placing a steady hand on his shoulder.

"He's not worth it, Axel." Cloud shot a pretty heated glare for someone who is always so tolerant at Marluxia. Axel stopped wriggling but kept glowering viciously at the pitcher across the room." You have something going for you that he doesn't. Do you really want to mess that up? Do you want to be suspended? Because you know that's going to happen to him." Marluxia scoffed again, but Cloud ignored him and remained firm. "Think about it."

"You honestly think I'm going to be suspended for fighting some dumb, random kid who means _nothing_ to this organization?" Marluxia looked to Cloud in disbelief. "I'm the best pitcher on this Goddamn team, and they would crazy to suspend me. So you got another thing coming if that's what you think is going to happen."

"You started an altercation in the locker room and caused discord among the team," Cloud said. "This organization doesn't stand for that kind of behavior, no matter how good of a pitcher you may be, and you know it. So don't think you're going to be let off the hook with just a slap on the wrist."

Clouds words, as calm and rational as they may have been, seemed to anger Marluxia even further, and he renewed his struggle to get away from Leon. It was just as he opened his mouth to say something back that the sound of a door just beyond the lockers opened and then shut again.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The owner of the voice sauntered into the room with an air of authority about him that seemed to instill fear in most of the guys in that room, what with the way the majority of them scattered back to their lockers as soon as they caught sight of blue hair and the menacing scar in the shape of an X across the bridge of his nose. I didn't even know the man, besides the fact that he was the bench coach, Saïx, but I was still a bit nervous in his presence. He seemed like the kind of person who didn't take any bullshit from anyone, and Marluxia looked to be well aware of that because his face had gone unnaturally pale.

"I asked what was going on in here," Saïx repeated, and I felt that underneath that cool façade was a wrath just waiting to be unleashed. "I want an answer. Now." He turned to look at the leftfielder, who had remained standing next to a still seething Axel. "Cloud?" I'd always known that Cloud was somewhat of a leader on the team, respected by the rest of his teammates and obviously his coaches as well.

"There was a bit of a, uh, quarrel here, Coach," Cloud replied, as his gaze darted over to Marluxia.

"Involving whom?" Saïx's eyes narrowed just slightly.

"Marluxia." Cloud wasted no time in responding and pointing out the pitcher, who had resorted to staring daggers at the outfielder. Then he turned around to me, and I felt like my stomach was going to explode. "And Roxas."

"Who, may I ask, is Roxas?" When Cloud hesitantly pointed me out, Saïx turned around and gave me a long, careful once over. My breath was stuck in my throat as I sat frozen on the floor. Then finally, he turned away, focusing his attention back on Cloud and Marluxia, and I felt like I could breathe again. "Why don't you two come with me and explain everything?" He placed a hand on either man's back, pushing them forward - a certain pink-haired pitcher more forcefully than the other. "You don't mind relaying everything to Xemnas, do you?" I swear Marluxia shuddered at the sound of the name. "Shall we?" Saïx nudged both men through the exit, letting the door swing shut behind them, and then the rest of us were left in silence again.

Everyone seemed to relax, laughing off the tense atmosphere that was starting to dissipate when the door cracked open again and Saïx's voice was heard one last time. "As for the rest of you, get your asses out of here."

As soon as the door shut for the final time, Axel slammed a fist against his locker, causing several things to tumble out and startling a few of the stragglers who had yet to leave. Zack and Riku bent down to pick up the fallen items when it was clear Axel had no intention of doing so himself. Instead, he leaned against the wall, tilting his head back and taking a deep breath.

"I gotta get out of here," he said, turning to his two friends. Riku nodded in response, setting a water bottle back into the locker.

"Yea, you go ahead." Zack placed hand on Axel's shoulders and squeezed it lightly. "We'll catch up with you later."

After Axel nodded curtly and headed for the exit, Zack and Riku turned to stare at me, like they were expecting some kind of response, and it was only then that I realized I was still sitting on the floor like some kind of idiot. I scrambled to my feet, about to chase after Axel, when he stopped abruptly and turned back around.

"You coming?" He raised an eyebrow at me and held out his hand.

I walked over, past Riku and Zack who were silently making stupid faces at me, and grabbed a hold of Axel's hand. He wasted no time in leading us out of the clubhouse, through the empty halls and past barren concession stand, all the way out into the parking lot. Axel was quiet the whole time, and even though I wanted to say something about what had happened, I couldn't bring myself to break the silence. I was just too tired.

As we were making our way through the parking lot, I noticed a familiar head of brown spikes and halted in my tracks. Axel, still holding tightly to my hand and unaware of my sudden stop, was jerked backwards slightly. He turned back to look at me, and I tried not to let the rolling of his eyes and irritation he was exuding bother me so much. I focused my attention back on the group quite a ways ahead of us, and Axel followed my gaze right to Sora, Kairi, Demyx and Zexion. They were all standing around my brother's car, talking and laughing away – so completely oblivious of everything that had just happened in the locker room that I envied them.

Luckily, none of them had taken notice of Axel and me. One small turn of the head and we'd have been spotted.

"I can't see them right now," I said, hoping Axel would just accept that and not pry for any more explanation. He didn't know about what had happened with Larxene earlier, but he seemed to understand my desperation because he sighed and tugged on my hand, pulling me through the cars and into another section of the parking lot.

Everything remained silent as we climbed into his car and pulled out onto the street. It wasn't until about halfway to his apartment that the dam broke and everything came spilling out of my mouth with no signs of stopping. I told him about Larxene and what an evil bitch she really was, about my brother not talking to me, about Naminé and Marluxia and the baby. And during my whole emotional breakdown, in which I had to furiously fight back the tears like a baby, Axel just sat there, listening. And I couldn't have asked for anything more.

* * *

We pulled up to Axel's apartment building fifteen minutes later, and I couldn't even find the energy to move. I was just so worn out, physically and emotionally, from the entire day. Before I knew it, Axel was already out of the car, opening my door for me, and despite appreciating the gesture, I kinda felt like a huge wimp.

"Thanks," I murmured, stepping out of the car.

"Are you…" Axel trailed off, running a hand through his hair nervously. "You know, ok? Are you alright?"

"Of course." I lied, trying to hold onto any pride I'd had left. The truth is I was probably the farthest from ok I'd ever been, but Axel didn't need to hear all that shit again, he didn't need to worry about me - even though I could tell by the look on his face that he already did. He shut the car door without another word and walked off.

I ran to catch up with him, and we walked side by side through the entrance. "What's going to happen to Marluxia?"

"I don't wanna talk about him," Axel snapped, shoving his hands in his pockets and quickening his pace.

"Sorry." he slowed down as soon as I said it and let out a tired sigh. I knew exactly how he felt.

"I don't know what's going to happen"

"Cloud said he'd get suspended." I spoke quietly, guarded. It was a horrible thing to feel like I was walking on eggshells around Axel, but he was someone I absolutely couldn't afford to lose. And I didn't want to risk that by saying something wrong.

"He probably will," Axel said, climbing the last of the stairs. He glanced at me over his shoulder and offered a sort of half-smile. "Xemnas isn't the type to put up with shit like…what he did."

We finally made it to Axel's hallway, and as soon as soon as he realized there was someone standing in front of his door, Axel stopped. "Oh, God." He groaned, shoulders slumping and head down as he began walking forward again.

The man looked up when he heard us, and I was caught by surprise. Except for the fact that his bright, red hair was tied back into a ponytail and his eyes were blue instead of green, he reminded me so much of Axel. It was something in the smirk that broke out on his face when he spotted us, in the arrogance that radiated from him as he leaned against the doorframe like he owned the place.

"Reno," Axel said in way of greeting, but shoved the man out of the way so he could get to his door.

Reno pocketed his cell phone and grabbed Axel by the wrist, spinning him around "Why, hello there, little brother." And so the mystery was solved, and I couldn't help but wonder why Axel had never told me he had a sibling. I mean, he'd told me about his father, so why not Reno? Reno, despite Axel's resistance, wrapped his arms around his brother. "Don't tell me you're not happy to see me. I took time out of my very busy schedule and flew all the way out to this shithole town from Midgar, just so I could visit your ungrateful ass."

Axel finally wriggled out of Reno's embrace and rolled his eyes. "I didn't know you were going to be here today."

"Hey, it's not like I didn't warn you," Reno said, grabbing his suitcase as Axel pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. "Or, well, I told Riku because when I called to wish you a happy birthday, you were conveniently MIA."

Axel grunted in response and opened the door for me to walk through. He followed behind and let the door swing shut right in his brother's face. It opened not even a second later, and Reno tugged his suitcase inside. "Gee, thanks, Axel. You're such a wonderful host and all. I honestly don't know why I don't come to visit you more often."

Leaving the luggage sitting in the entryway, Reno made his way into the living room, where I was already sitting on the couch, feeling entirely out of place. Axel was in the kitchen doing God knows what, and I got the feeling he was only in there to get away from his brother. I didn't know what to make of the situation, really. I mean, Reno didn't appear to have any problems with his brother, what with the way he was joking and laughing and all. But the way Axel was acting, as if he didn't exactly hate Reno but wasn't all that thrilled to see him either, made me think that maybe there was something hidden under the surface.

Reno moseyed over to the couch, eyes trained on me and expression uncharacteristically – at least it seemed so, since I'd just met him and all – blank. I felt like I was being held under a microscope and he was studying every inch of me very, very carefully. A sly grin broke out upon his face after a few seconds. "I see you like 'em young, huh, Axel?" he called out to the general direction of the kitchen. I felt my cheeks heat up, and he let out a chuckle. "You gonna introduce us? Or are you gonna continue being a shit host?"

Axel appeared in the kitchen doorway seconds later, scowl in place. "Reno, this is Roxas." He pointed a thumb my way, and then nodded curtly toward his brother. "Roxas, this is my bastard…I mean, my brother, Reno."

"That's cute, Ax. What? Is it your time of the month or something?" Reno ignored Axel's indignant spluttering, and clapped his hands together. "What do you say I take you guys out to dinner? Cause I'm sure there's nothing edible to eat around this place." Reno took a cursory glance around the living room. "Nice place, by the way."

"You want to take us out to dinner?" Axel asked, finally joining us in the living room and leaning over the arm of the couch. Reno nodded, and Axel's lips curved up into the first genuine smile I'd seen from him all day. "So that means I'm paying, right?"

Reno nodded and smiled back. "You know me so well."

"Sucks to be me then," Axel teased, eyes darting over to the entryway and widening. "What is that?" He pointed to the suitcase.

"Damn, did you get dumber since the last time I saw you or what? Got hit in the head with one too many fastballs, huh?"

"I know what it is, douchebag," Axel snapped, but the harshness was completely gone from his voice. "But I don't know why it's here, in my apartment, where you are definitely not staying."

"Except I am, dear brother of mine." Reno walked over to retrieve his luggage. "You certainly can't be expecting me to stay in one of these Twilight Town roach motels. Surely, you wouldn't put your own flesh and blood through that kind of torture."

"Oh, but I would."

"We're supposed to be spending some quality time together, Ax. You know, brotherly bonding and all that good shit." Reno hauled his suitcase across the floor despite Axel's refusal. "How are we supposed to do that if I'm not even here?"

"That's the point," Axel grumbled, but he still sighed in what I could only guess was defeat. "How long are you staying?"

"Luckily for you, only a couple days," Reno called over his shoulder as he started down the hallway. "I've got more important places to be than here, you know?" It was silent for a moment before he spoke up again. "Which room and I staying in?"

"Second door on the right."

"Thanks, bro," Reno said cheerily, and Axel grimaced lightly. "I'm gonna get my shit all settled in and change clothes. Then once I get back out here, you guys better be ready to go eat because I'm frickin' starving."

The door shut a moment later, and Axel fell from the arm of the couch and onto the cushions below with a pathetic whimper. His head landed on my lap. "Sorry about this. I didn't know his ass was going to be here. Trust me, if I did, I would have never come home."

"I don't mind." I shrugged. "He seems cool." Axel's head jerked up, and he stared at me incredulously. "I didn't even know you had a brother…"

"Yea, well…" he laid his head back down, shutting his eyes. "You were probably better off that way."

"Why?"

Axel didn't bother to give me an answer. Instead, he placed a hand behind my neck and pulled my head down, bringing our lips together rather abruptly. I didn't even care that it was obviously a tactic to stop the questions I was asking because it was the first time we'd kissed since the night of the carnival, and I never felt like I'd needed anything more – because when Axel was kissing me, the rest of the world, all the problems, faded away. And if there was ever a time in my life that I just needed to let go and forget…it was then.

Unfortunately, though, things were cut short when the voice of a certain visiting redhead rang throughout the room, breaking Axel and I apart. "Ok, lovebirds." I cringed at the nickname – literally almost shriveled up and died because it was that cheesy. "That's enough making out for one evening. You'll have plenty of time to sex each other up once we've eaten."

And Reno was out the door, just like that, not even giving me enough time to let his words really sink in. Which, I guess was a blessing. Axel rose up with a groan, and I gave him a pat on the back before getting up to follow his brother.

A half hour later we were seated at a small booth in the corner of Sweet Tomatoes, of course. After being greeted by Tifa and being promised one of her best tables, we were led to the back by our waitress for the night – a tall, quiet woman with short silver hair and ruby colored eyes. She introduced herself as Paine, took our orders, and then left the three of us alone and surrounded by a brief awkward silence. Things eased up rather quickly, though, thanks to Reno and his ability to talk about literally anything – yet another thing he and Axel had in common. I was asked about a million questions while we were waiting for our food, and I couldn't help but feel that Reno was trying to figure out my intentions with his brother, if I was good enough for him or some crazy shit like that. But, thankfully, after a few tries, Axel was able to tear his attention away from me. It wasn't until about halfway through the meal that things took a turn for the worse.

"So, I was thinking," Reno took a bite of his salad and spoke up again with his mouth full, ignoring the disgusted face his brother made, "that tomorrow, after I come see you play, we could maybe visit dad's grave."

Axel's fork immediately dropped from his hands and fell to his plate with a loud clatter, causing Reno and I to both look over in surprise.

"Why?"

"Uh, because I thought it would be nice?" Reno lifted a glass of water to his mouth and took a sip. "I mean, the man was half responsible for giving us life so-"

"You thought it would be nice?" Axel interrupted, scoffing and fixing his brother with a look of disbelief. "You didn't give a damn about the man when he was alive, when he was fighting for his life in that piece of shit hospital room, but now that he's dead and buried under six feet of dirt, rocks and crap, you suddenly care? Give me a break."

"That's not true, and you know it." Reno's voice took on a serious quality I didn't even know he was capable of. After all, since he arrived the only thing he'd done was tease and make jokes. "I cared about him just as much as you did."

"Then where were you…" Axel trailed off, taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut. He was clutching onto the edge of the table with both hands. "You weren't even there when he died."

"If I recall correctly, neither were you," Reno said with a touch of malice.

I was well aware that the subject of his father, and especially his death, was a huge deal to Axel, and Reno had just crossed a very fine line. There was no other way for the situation to go but down, so I braced myself and was well prepared when Axel suddenly slammed his fists down on the table. The sound of dishes clattering together rang out across the restaurant, bringing everything to a dead stop, and all I could do was sit there and watch as another relationship unraveled before my eyes.

"I was at that hospital every damn day." Axel glared across the table, looking as if he wanted to pick up his bowl of salad and smash it over Reno's head. "And you never showed up. Not even once. What's your excuse for that?"

"I had a job, Axel. I had…I had stuff to…do, ok?" Reno's attempt at defending himself fell short, and he frowned. "It's not like he ever really cared about me, anyway. I wasn't the one who became the baseball player he'd always wanted to be. I was never good enough because I refused to let him push his dreams on me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Axel laughed wryly, his brow furrowing as he absently picked at the table cloth. "Dad loved you just as much as he did me. And he didn't push his dreams on me, either. I played baseball because I wanted to." I knew he was lying.

"That's a lie," Reno spit out, his voice a little louder, a bit harsher than before. "Don't pull this shit with me, Axel. I know everything. I know that he didn't give a damn about either of us, until you decided to live out his dream and become the golden child."

"Shut up, Reno," Axel yelled, and the people around us were definitely starting to stare by then, whispering about the 3 lunatics in the corner. I shrunk down in my seat and figured it was only a matter of time before Tifa herself came and asked us to leave. "You ran away like a little bitch, so you couldn't possibly know what happened while you were gone. It's not my fault that you're so jealous of me and the attention I got from our father."

Reno seemed to be at a loss for words, just sitting there, mouth agape and staring at Axel like he'd never laid eyes on him before in his life. "I can't believe you." He shook his head and rose up from his chair, the legs scraping across the floor noisily. "Are you really that far in denial? Are you seriously willing to lie right to my face, to accuse me of being jealous - all to defend a man who only loved you as much as he did because he was living vicariously through you?" Axel didn't respond, and Reno threw his hands up in defeat. "Whatever, Axel. If taking everything out on me makes you feel better, if it's easier to hate me instead of admitting to yourself that, just maybe, our father wasn't the man you wanted him to be, then that's fine." He threw his napkin down on the table, and Axel flinched. "I'm done."

Reno stalked away, and as soon as he was out of sight, Axel let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry about this." He rested his head in his hands. "I'm sorry about…a lot of things."

"Don't be. You've been around for enough of my shitty problems," I said, pushing a crouton around with my fork. "It's only fair that I suffer with you through some of yours. It's fine."

"No, it's not!" Axel's voice was more callous than usual, but I knew it wasn't meant for me. You don't spend your whole life misdirecting your anger without being able to recognize it in others. "It's not…fine." He lifted his head up, expression softening as he reached out for my hand. "Sorry, it's just this whole…this whole Reno and my dad thing. I know he's right; I _am_ in denial. But it's just so hard to accept what I know about our father, because I guess deep inside I'm still that little boy out on the little league field, and my dad is still the guy in the stands cheering me on." He paused, and I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "It's stupid. I'm stupid, and I shouldn't take it out on Reno." He paused and drew a breath. "I should probably tell him that, huh?"

"I kinda think you already did," I said quietly, and Axel raised his head up and looked at me like I'd lost it completely. I motioned towards the older of the two siblings, who was standing at the opposite end of the table, hands in his pocket and small smile on his face.

"Look, Reno-" Axel began but was interrupted.

"Don't worry about it, Ax," Reno said. Things remained serious for the total amount of time it took for him to take his seat again and a playful grin to form on his lips. "A lot of people have daddy issues. It's nothing to be ashamed about, you know?"

Then Axel let out a rather loud guffaw, and even though it made him sound like a complete moron, it was probably the nicest sound I'd heard all day. Once the three of us started laughing, like the bunch of idiots I'm sure the rest of the patrons in that restaurant had already determined us to be, things started to feel more relaxed and just…easy. And, ok, maybe the situation wasn't perfect, because surely Axel and Reno had a lot more to discuss if things were ever going to be completely ok between them, but I was sure that it was a step in the right direction to re-building all they'd lost. And it made me think that maybe Sora and I could someday do the same, that maybe broken relationships could be mended if given enough time. Because if the three of us could sit there laughing and talking like things were ok after the worst day in the history of bad days, then I knew that there was still hope. Even for me.

* * *

The next day at work passed by pretty much the same as the one before, only without all the unnecessary drama. I kept to myself, Kairi and Sora were content to ignore me completely, and it didn't bother me that much because I had something to look forward to. Axel told Reno and I to meet him in the clubhouse after the game, which at first, didn't seem like such a good idea. I mean, I _had_ just caused mass chaos in the Tigers' locker room the day before. Not to mention, I was a bit nervous about running into Marluxia, but Axel assured me everything would be fine and the pitcher wouldn't be there. Apparently, Xemnas had handed his ass to him on a platter, and he wouldn't be playing for the remainder of the season.

On my way to the clubhouse, I made sure to keep an eye out for Larxene, just in case she was slinking around in the shadows of the halls. The last thing I needed was to run into her. Luckily, she was no where in sight, and I was about halfway to my destination when someone interrupted.

"Roxas." I stopped abruptly and looked up to see Zexion standing a few feet away. "How are you? I haven't seen you since, well…"

"Since the party," I finished for him. That night was still a bit of a sore subject, but it was getting easier to talk about as time went on. Besides, it was Zexion I was talking to. And if there was ever anyone not even the slightest bit judgmental, it was him. "I guess I've been kinda distant since then, huh?"

"Don't worry about it." He waved me off and took a few steps forward. "So, where are you off to? You were moving pretty quickly…"

"The Tigers' clubhouse," I said, just as Demyx appeared out of nowhere, walking up behind Zexion. "I, uh…I'm meeting up with Axel there. Do you guys wanna tag along?"

"Sorry, Rox. No can do," Demyx said, resting his head on Zexion's shoulder and wrapping his arms around the other's waist. "We have plans." And apparently the shock on my face was quite evident because the two of them looked at one another and shared a laugh. "I'll meet you in the car, ok?" Demyx gave Zexion one last squeeze and winked at me before walking away.

"When…did _that_ happen?"

"A few days ago, actually." I could tell Zexion was trying to hide the smile threatening to break out on his face – the stupid, lovesick kind - as he looked down at his hands. And I swear he was blushing, which is something Zexion never, ever, _ever_ did. "It's all thanks to you, really."

"Me?" I couldn't even remember the last time I'd willingly helped someone out. Never mind the fact that I hadn't seen either of my two co-workers for the past week, in which they'd apparently become an item, and was pretty much the only one among my group of friends who _hadn't_ tried some lame ploy to get them together.

"Yea," he said, face straight once again, but there was some kind of teasing gleam in his eyes. "You made me realize that I need to stop running away from how I feel. Because, you know, I don't want to be the one hauling ass out of the next birthday party."

"Wow, thanks." Normally, I would have been angered and probably a bit insulted by his little joke, but the corners of my lips turned up all on their own until I was smiling so big my face began to hurt, and I punched Zexion playfully in the arm. "That makes me feel so much better about myself."

"Hey, at least you aren't running anymore, right? Except from your brother." I stiffened as soon as he said it. "But that's an issue for another day, huh? I should probably get going. I've wasted enough of your time already, and we both know how impatient Demyx can be."

"Yea." I nodded. "You guys have fun. I'll see you later."

He gave me a small wave and started off down the hall, and I just stood there for a while, staring after him – because maybe, at the time, I couldn't fully grasp the way my own life had changed, but for the first time I could see it in the people all around me, and it was quite a revelation to finally see with my own eyes – to understand that not all changes and differences were bad, just like Axel had told me all those nights ago, and maybe, after all the running I'd done in my life, I was finally ready to accept a few changes of my own.

"Hey, are you just gonna stand there with that dumb look on your face, or do you think you could show me the way?" The obnoxious voice broke me out of my thoughts, and I knew who it was without even having to look.

"Yea." I pushed away the fact that I felt like an idiot for being caught just standing in an empty hallway by Reno. "Axel didn't tell you how to get there?"

"Of course not." He scoffed and wrapped a friendly arm around my shoulders as I began to lead the way to the clubhouse. "His stupid ass would never make anything that easy for me."

We made it to our destination a couple minutes later, and the only people left inside were the same group of Tigers players who had become such a big part of my life. As soon as Reno and I entered the room, the rambunctious noise they were making – that could be heard from a mile down the hall – turned into silence. All heads swerved around to look, each face unreadable, and I kinda wondered what I'd just willingly walked into.

"Reno." Cloud finally broke the silence, his eyes narrowing when he took in the sight of the man still standing to my left. "Never a pleasure to see you."

"Cloud, you old bastard." Reno moved forward as Cloud rose up from his seat. "Don't you think it's about time you got that big ol' stick removed from your ass?"

The two of them just stood there across from each other, staring, and I had no idea what was happening. Then Reno burst out laughing, Cloud desperately tried to stifle his chuckles and failed miserably, and the outfielder reached an arm out and pulled Reno into this weird one-armed hug that lasted all of 2 seconds. Riku and Zack walked over a moment later, greeting Axel's older brother with weird handshakes and humorous smiles. It was obvious that they all knew each for quite some time, and I kinda felt like the odd one out.

"What the hell brings you to Twilight Town?" Riku asked.

"Yea, besides just to annoy us with your ugly mug," Zack added and ducked to avoid being knocked in the face by Reno's fist.

"Contrary to the delusions shared here, I couldn't care less about you guys." Reno shot the two friend's a smirk, and Zack and Riku looked at each other before jutting their bottom lips out in a couple of over-exaggerated pouts. "I came here to see my baby brother." Reno ambled across the room to where Axel was standing quietly by a giant screen TV and wrapped an arm around his neck, ruffling the long red spikes.

"Stop that, you asshole." Axel batted his brother's hands away and twisted out of his grasp. He shoved Reno across the room with a smile, and laughed when he knocked over one of the chairs in the middle of the floor.

"Looks like your brother doesn't want to see you that much, either," Riku said haughtily, crossing his arms over his chest.

Reno stood up and straightened his shirt out, placing the sunglasses that had fallen to the carpet back on top of his head. "You might think that, but today my idiot of a brother and I have plans. So, sadly-" He paused to laugh softly. "Except, since it's you losers I'm speaking of, not all that sadly, actually – we must bid you farewell."

"How come you didn't tell us you were leaving?" Zack looked to Axel, who had made his way over to where I was standing by then, and did this weird sort of double take. "I totally forgot Roxas was here. You need to learn to speak up around us, kid, or you're just going to fade into the background."

It kinda stung to hear those words, even though I knew he meant no harm. "That makes me feel loved." As soon as I said it, Axel wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me backwards so I tumbled over my own feet and landed against him. He rested his chin on the top of my head and tightened his embrace, all while I desperately tried to fight off the embarrassment caused by every single person in that room staring.

"You are loved, Roxy." My cheeks were heating up, and it was only made worse when Riku and Zack glanced at each other with identical amused expressions on their face. "It's just that when you're surrounded by these kinds of overbearing idiots," Riku huffed in response to that, and Cloud let out a chuckle, "normal people tend to be overshadowed."

"Ha, ha, very funny, Axel," Zack said. "But, anyways, I thought we were all going out tonight?"

"Too bad," Reno cut in. "I guess this just means you guys are going to have to use your free time to practice your baseball skills instead." An annoying grin spread across his face that reminded me so much of Axel, it was almost scary. "From the looks of that game I just saw, you guys could really use it."

"You're Axel's brother, so I'm going to let that one slide. Although, I don't think he'd really care." The amusement in Cloud's voice gave away the fact that he wasn't really angry. "But consider yourself lucky."

Reno opened his mouth to throw back another cleverly disguised insult, but Axel intervened. "We can still go out tonight, guys. Reno and I just need to do something first."

Axel's seriousness seemed to catch everyone's attention and the playful atmosphere, the endless sarcastic remarks and jabs taken at each other, ceased. Plans were made for them all to meet up later, and then Axel and Reno were walking through the door, leaving the rest of us behind. I had nothing better to do with my time, obviously, so I figured hanging out with Cloud, Riku and Zack wouldn't be too bad. Well, at least hanging out with Cloud wouldn't kill me.

"Aren't you coming?" Axel was standing halfway out the door, looking at me with expectant eyes.

"I, uh…do you really think I should?" I didn't want to intrude on his time with Reno and the healing process they were both taking part in together.

"Of course, Roxas." He motioned for me to move closer. "This is important to me, and so are you. Plus, Reno doesn't mind, so don't worry about bothering him."

"It's true." Reno's head peaked around the door. "Out of all the people my brother surrounds himself with, you are by far the least annoying." The Tigers teammates broke out into indignant spluttering, and Reno just smiled at them sweetly, waving before he disappeared once again.

Before I knew it, I was shoved forward into Axel's waiting arms. I heard the familiar laughs of Zack and Riku as I was led out of the room, and I couldn't help but smile.

It turned out that the cemetery where Axel and Reno's father was buried was in the outskirts of town – an hour and a half drive from the stadium and a part of my city that I'd never been to, which made me feel rather pathetic. I'd lived in Twilight Town my whole life and never once bothered to discover any more about it than what was right under my nose. I'd just never cared, never had the desire to expand my horizons. I always thought it was pointless. I was going to live and die, all within that small area of Twilight Town where I was born, so why even bother?

It was amazing to me, as we drove down the suburban streets that eventually transformed into country roads, that we were actually still in the same city. It was completely different from what I'd always known Twilight Town to be – lush, green grass instead of dirt and cobbled streets, the tallest trees I'd ever laid eyes on instead of those lame little potted ones that decorated every sidewalk. Even the sun seemed to shine brighter out there. And I suddenly regretted wasting so many years content in my rut.

The cemetery was a small one, off to the side of the main road and practically hidden by trees. Luckily, Reno knew exactly where it was or it was entirely possible to drive right past it without even being aware. The place was only accessible by this obscure dirt path, so we had to park the car and walk the rest of the way. When I asked why their father was buried so far away from the city, Reno informed me it was because that's where they'd lived for the first few years of their childhood.

The huge, ornate gate that gave entrance to the cemetery was a little intimidating, as were the numerous gravestones scattered all about the area. The utter stillness in the area creeped me out, and was only extenuated by the warm, yet slightly chilling breeze.

I'd never been in a cemetery before – never thought I'd had any reason to visit one, really. Sure, family members had died, and I'd gone to their funerals. But it ended there. Sora had tried to persuade me to join him in placing flowers on our grandparents' graves a time or two, but I always refused, because what was the point? I didn't see much of a reason for visiting a pile of dirt and a headstone, or talking to a bunch of bones. And I was only just beginning to realize, as Axel, Reno and I made our way through the cemetery, that it was me who was truly the naïve one.

Finally, we stopped, and Reno pointed out a grave a short distance away. I let the two siblings go on ahead without me, even when Axel tried to get me to join. I just wasn't all that comfortable with the whole situation. It wasn't really my place to grieve for a man I knew absolutely nothing about, except the little I'd heard from Axel and Reno. So I stood there and watched the two of them walk over to the grave, backs to me and arms around each other's shoulders. Even though I felt like I was intruding on something personal, a moment so pure that I didn't deserve to be apart of because I was such a horrible person in so many ways, I still couldn't find the will to look away.

I would never truly understand the pain that Axel had gone through, or how it felt to hate someone so deeply, yet still love them with all your heart because they were a part of you. But I made a few of my own discoveries that day, because I finally realized the world, life and all its numerous changes, doesn't revolve around just one person. Not everyone is out to get you. And no matter how lonely you feel, or how it seems like the whole entire world has turned its back on you until there's nothing left, there's always going to be a light beyond the darkness, even if it's only a flicker. And maybe you might have to wait for it, but no matter how far you've fallen, you're never truly alone. Because, in the end, there's always going to be someone there to help lift you up.


	11. Say Goodbye

**Chapter 11 – Say Goodbye**

After the day I visited the cemetery with Axel and Reno, time just seemed to fly by – like someone had decided to press the fast forward button on my life and never let go.

I spent every waking hour, in which I didn't have to work or the team wasn't traveling to some other city, with Axel and his friends. _My_ friends. Even though Cloud, Riku and Zack had always done their best to make me feel welcome among their group, it seemed that over the last few weeks of the baseball season, our bond grew even stronger. It was like I'd known them forever. Axel might have been my only link to the rest of the team at first, but after a while, even when he wasn't there, I found that I was content to just sit around in the clubhouse and talk baseball with Cloud, or even hang out with Zack and Riku on the field after a game, goofing off when they were really supposed to be practicing.

My relationship with Axel progressed during that time, too. He had become my pillar of strength, the one person I could always count on in the absence of my brother. Axel had a way of making life seem so simple, and, around him, I found it easier to try and let go of the anxiety that dealing with emotions and feelings and people had always given me. Of course, that didn't mean I had changed completely, but soon, I could barely recall the last time I'd used anger to cover up another emotion, couldn't remember a time I had ever felt more comfortable in my own skin. And it wasn't until I found myself kissing Axel in front of God and everyone in the middle of Sweet Tomatoes' parking lot that I realized how good it really felt to just live.

Although, spending all of my days with the Tigers tended to leave me with very little time for anything else, I still managed to keep in contact with Naminé. She would call me from time to time and give me updates on her pregnancy, and occasionally, we'd meet up to go shopping for baby clothes and supplies. I even spent a few evenings in her living room, searching for the perfect baby name.

It was a week after she quit working at the stadium when I first heard from her. She'd called me up and told me that Kairi and Sora had gone to visit her immediately after the secret had been spilled, and she wound up confessing everything as soon as they walked through her front door. She said she was glad that the truth was out in the open and that Larxene, though trying to be a spiteful bitch, actually helped to lift a burden. We never spoke of Marluxia, the fight I had with him in the locker room or the fact that he was the one who started everything, but I don't think we really had to. Naminé was smart; she'd already connected the pieces. I was sure of it. She had known what kind of man Marluxia really was before any of the rest of us had a clue, but she was too good of a person to say it.

The more I talked to Naminé, really got to know her, the more I realized she was probably the strongest person I knew. Not once did she waver in her stance that she would be just fine, and it instilled something in me. Just knowing that she had a world of struggles and changes ahead of her that she was determined to overcome, all with a smile on her face – I aspired to be like her.

Things between Demyx and Zexion were going as smoothly as ever, the two of them spending more time together and less with the rest of us. That was ok, though, because we all knew they were happy and in love and all that cheesy shit, and really, how could we fault them for that? I still saw them quite a bit at work, though, and we always stopped to talk when passing each other in the halls or when they hung around the stand before and after work, as usual. And even though our lives seemed to be leading us in different directions, the two of them still had a special place in my heart. Especially Zexion. Because we were a lot alike in a lot of ways, and he had always made me feel just a little less alone in this great big world.

Zexion wasn't the only person in my life I had a connection with, though, which brings me to my brother. During those weeks, we were still content to go on about our lives as if we were complete strangers. When we absolutely had to be around one another – which was basically just at work - there was only a feeling of numbness, like it was the most natural thing in the world to pass each other by without a second glance. And sometimes, on the slight occasion where ignoring my brother didn't feel like second nature, it hurt, so much so that I thought maybe I'd never feel ok again. But not even that very real pain was enough to make give in and apologize. It just felt like too much time had passed for something as simple as 'I'm sorry' to mend the ever-growing rift between us. And I couldn't figure out how had it become so much easier to open myself up to Axel and my other friends, but it was too difficult to try and fix things with the only person who had always known me better than I knew myself.

I began to convince myself that maybe it was just the ways things were, the way they'd always be. Somewhere down the line, years later, we'd probably realize how stupid we were to let one argument ruin everything and forever regret all the time that we'd lost and would never, _ever_, get back.

Sora had become extremely close to Kairi and Riku, the three of them forming their own little trio of friendship. Dysfunctional as it may have been, since Kairi and Riku still spent most of their time bickering back and forth. When the Tigers' catcher wasn't hanging out with his teammates and me, it was common knowledge that he was off somewhere with my brother. Cloud and Zack began spending more time together as a result of Riku's frequent absences, which initially sounded like a recipe for disaster, but somehow, their complete opposite personalities complimented each other rather well. Despite the slight shift in our group's dynamics, Riku and Zack remained partners in crime, never passing up a chance to irritate the life out of everyone they encountered – Cloud, of course, being their main target.

Besides the changes and small but meaningful accomplishments in my life, Axel was achieving things of his own. His relationship with Reno was on the mend, and they talked almost daily, whether it be by phone or e-mail or text. He would always tell me that the two of them were making plans to get together soon, and how, when he made it to the big leagues and moved to Luca, they'd be close enough to see each other all the time.

Axel had also begun to excel in baseball again. He was more focused and comfortable at the plate, and everything just seemed to come together in a way you only hear about in fairytales. I wasn't exactly sure what turned everything around, but I don't think it was one specific thing or event. Instead, I believe it was a whole mixture of them – patching up his relationship with his brother, gaining some closure over his father's death, his teammates always being by his side, and maybe even me.

By the time the Tigers' had won ten games in a row and overtook the lead in their division, it was safe to say that Axel was the star of the team. And that was an amazing thing to witness firsthand – to see someone at the lowest point in their career, the bottom of the barrel, to suddenly becoming one of the top players in the game. It was a testament to how life can change at any given moment.

The hours turned into days, and the days soon turned into weeks, and before I knew it a whole entire month had passed. It was the second week in September, and the baseball season was a just a few short days from being over. The Tigers had made it into the playoffs, so they were playing a bit longer than the rest of the league. And I didn't realize, at the time, how thankful I'd be for those few extra days.

It was a Friday night, the first night of the seven-game playoff, and the stadium was abuzz with more excitement and energy than ever before. Hoards of people had filled the stands, and it was easily the biggest crowd I'd ever seen in our small but humble ballpark since the summer began. There was a sense of anticipation in the air, an exhilaration that was so contagious – because even though I was stuck in that stuffy stand instead of out in the bleachers and had to resort to watching the game on a tiny television screen, I still felt every bit of that thrill.

Things were slow most of the night, no one seeming to want to miss a second of the game, and the only we time we had to deal with customers was in-between innings. Which actually worked out quite well since I had a hard time removing my gaze from the TV screen, hoping with everything I had that the Tigers would win. I tired to keep my excitement to a minimum, though, because I didn't want to make too much of a scene. Not that I really had much to worry about because Kairi and Sora were pretty into the game themselves, screaming like a couple of children as they grabbed a hold of each other and jumped all around the stand. Even Xigbar and the ever-stoic Xaldin were joining in on the fun with constant high-fives when something went right for the Tigers, or a string of curses shouted out when the other team happened to score.

At 8 o'clock that evening, the Tigers were winners, thanks to Zack's heroic ninth inning base hit. By that time, those of us in behind the counter and practically every fan in attendance were pretty much physically drained. Because cheering your heart out and praying for things to go right… well, it can take a lot out of person. And if we were feeling the effects, I could only imagine how the Tigers players were doing.

As the tired crowds lazily made their ways out of the stadium and into the quiet Twilight Town night, Sora, Kairi and I began our clean-up. The other two talked quietly amongst themselves, and I silently went about doing my own thing. It was routine.

I was just about to finish up and leave to go find Axel and the rest of the guys when a few sudden hoots and hollers sounded out from down the hall. I immediately threw my apron off to the side, not even bothering to hang it up like I was supposed to, and jumped over the counter.

A second later, Riku, Zack and Cloud appeared, looking like they hadn't even bothered to stop by the locker room before showing up. And despite their bright faces and the obvious glee radiating off of each one of them, they looked like crap - all covered in dirt and sweat, hair all mussed up and sticking to the sides of their faces and wearing uniforms that looked to far gone to be saved.

"How nice of you guys to show up looking like shit warmed over," I greeted the group of them as they came to a stop in front of the stand.

"Showering means nothing when there's a celebration to be had!" Zack exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air then wrapping his arm's around Cloud and Riku's shoulders.

A high-pitched screech left Kairi's mouth, and before I knew it, she was out in the hallway with the rest of us, wrapping her arms around Riku. "I'm so happy for you guys!" Riku tentatively patted her on the back with one hand, and then the girl seemed to realize exactly whom she was hugging and backed off immediately. "I mean, you're lucky the rest of your team is so good, because you suck."

"Hey, I scored the winning run," Riku defended. The two of them continued their squabbling, Sora eventually butting in and starting up a completely different conversation that I didn't have time to listen in on – not that I'd want to.

"We're totally having a party next week once we win the play-offs, a huge one. The party to end all parties! Not like the last one." Zack laughed when I shot him a glare. "Trust me, Roxas, there's no way even you could ruin this one."

"But what if you don't win?" I asked. "What then?"

"It's nice to know you have so much faith in us, Rox," Riku cut in, apparently having overheard everything. "In fact, your words are so inspirational that I think we should have you speak before every game. You know, to motivate us and all."

"Yea, and then maybe you could set aside some time and help motivate Riku to lose a bit of weight off his ass." Zack smirked and turned to his teammate, who had resorted to scowling. "You know, I think without all that extra weight dragging you down, you might actually play well enough to help us win. Great idea, Riku."

"I hate you, Zack," Riku grumbled, eyes narrowed dangerously and arms folded across his chest.

Zack scoffed and focused his attention back on me. "We have other reasons for a party besides a play-off win."

"Yea," Riku said, shoving his teammate out of the way with ease. "First of all, it's the end of a season –"

"Which is reason enough to celebrate," Cloud interrupted, catching Zack before he hit the floor. "Because it means I get a break from these idiots for a few months."

"Reason number 2." Zack said, regaining his composure and moving back to the front of the group. "A couple of our _lovely_," he stressed the word and childishly stuck his tongue out at Cloud, "teammates are going to be-" He never got to finish because he was promptly smacked on the back of the head.

"God, Zack, can't you do anything right?" Cloud asked, stifling an obvious chuckle at the scandalized response he received and the way Zack was furiously rubbing at the spot where he'd been hit. The third-baseman's expression morphed into one of confusion, and Cloud sighed before slowly turning his gaze towards me. Zack followed, studying me intently, and when his eyes met Cloud's again, his face lit up in enlightenment.

"Oh, yea…" The grin that curled his lips had me backing away subtly.

"Ok, I'm just going to pretend like I'm not creeped out by this at all," I said, and Zack and Riku shared a laugh that sounded a little too sinister to mean nothing.

"So, Riku," Kairi spoke up, taking the attention off of me for a few moments. And I was kinda relieved. "You're coming over to Sora's tonight, right?"

Riku glanced at me nervously out of the corner of his eyes. We had this sort of unspoken agreement that he could hang out with Sora all he wanted, as long as he never spoke about it. "Uh…yea, sure." He paused to clear his throat and focused completely on the girl and my brother at her side. "What's going on tonight?"

"You're going to help me pack," Sora explained, clapping his hands together, like it was the most exciting event anyone could take part in on a Friday night. I would have laughed at the strained smile on Riku's face if my brother's words hadn't hit me like a two-ton sack of bricks to the nuts.

Pack. He was packing – packing to leave Twilight Town. Somehow, it had just slipped my mind that once the baseball season was over so was the summer - and our job. School would be starting again, Sora would be heading back to Hollow Bastion, and we'd be physically hundreds of miles apart instead of just figuratively. And maybe I hadn't had any intentions of reconciling things with him, but that didn't mean I was ready for him to leave, either.

"-for you" I was broken out of my thoughts by the voice and a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head and turned back around. "Sorry, what?"

Cloud looked at me oddly before removing his hand. "I said, Axel's waiting for you." And I just stared, not really hearing what he said or letting it sink in because my mind was too pre-occupied with thoughts of my brother leaving. "Is something wrong?" Cloud asked, a hint of concern in his tone.

"Yea, you look kinda…lost," Zack added.

"I'm fine," I said, laughing nervously and waving them off. It didn't seem to do much good, but the subject was dropped, anyway. "Where is Axel?"

"In the clubhouse," Zack answered, pointing the down the hall like I didn't know where it was, even though I could have probably found the room with my eyes closed. It had kind of served as a second home, a safe haven of sorts over the past couple months, after all. "At least, I think…"

"You think?" I had already taken a few steps when Zack spoke up again, so I stopped and turned back around.

"Yea." He shrugged. "This is Axel we're talking about… So, you never know."

I rolled my eyes, not able to help the smile that broke out on my face, and started walking away again. It was unusually silent in that hall until I made it around the corner and faintly heard the voices start up again. And for the first time in a while, I felt a little paranoid, like maybe they were all talking about me, about what Cloud so obviously wanted to keep hidden, the reason why Zack and Riku were giving me annoying smirks. I didn't dwell on that too long, though, because I had other thoughts to drive myself nuts with.

It was crazy how I'd spent the first half of the summer longing it for it to be over, and the last half thinking it would never end. I guess I'd been so caught up in things that I never really thought about it all having to someday come to a close. It wasn't until I heard my brother's words that it really hit me, the finality of it all, and that's when the anxiety started to settle in. I'd become so accustomed to the way things were – waking up every morning and heading down to the ballpark, hanging out in the clubhouse after work, even sitting in that crummy little stand all day. And I didn't want any of it to change. I didn't want to have to start all over again.

I moved through the halls quickly, everything passing by in a blur as I frantically tried to outrun the inevitable. I needed to find Axel so he could tell me everything was going to be just fine, that Sora and I would work things out, that the end of the summer wouldn't change a thing. I needed that assurance, more than anything, because I couldn't stand the thought of a life I'd become so accustomed to over the past few months changing right before my eyes.

I was mid-stride, caught up in all the thoughts racing through my head, breaths shallow and shaky, when everything was brought to an abrupt halt. I was shoved up against a wall, and my first instinct was to panic. Maybe Marluxia had decided to come back and seek revenge on me for getting him suspended, or maybe he'd gotten Larxene to do the dirty work for him.

I let out a gasp as my back collided with the cement and felt hands gripping my shoulders, then I saw a flash of red and felt a pair of lips press up against my own. I relaxed into the familiar kiss and the overwhelming sense of relief that washed over me when I realized it was Axel, and he was going to make everything ok. Because that's what he always did. He'd been the one to change my life in so many amazing ways in the first place, the one person who'd altered my perception on world, and I just knew that if anyone could fix things, could stop it all from falling apart - it was him.

Eventually, Axel pulled away. The broad smile lighting up his face, his memorizing green eyes staring intently into my own, and his hands still gently resting on my shoulders made it almost too easy to forget about all the fear that had been taking over not even moments before. But reality, unfortunately, wasn't that easy, and there was still a small nagging in the back of my mind, an ever-present sense of despair that I just couldn't quell. And Axel didn't seem to pick up on it at all, like he'd always done before, which bothered me more than it should have.

"What took you so long?" His smile didn't falter at all as he spoke, and I figured he was still high off of the Tigers' win. "I've been waiting around forever, Roxy."

That's when I realized I didn't want to ruin the whole night with all of my usual doom and gloom. Axel and his team had accomplished something great, and there I was just thinking about myself, as usual. I figured I could push aside thoughts of the future for a few moments at least, and do something I hadn't felt like I had to in a while – hide behind a mask. I forced a well-practiced smile onto my face and looked up at Axel.

"Sorry, I got distracted by your friends."

"Oh, they're just _my_ friends now, huh? I'm going to assume that means they did something stupid." He laughed for a second then the noise, the soothing vibrations I could feel so strongly with my body pressed up against his the way it was, came to a rather abrupt stop, his expression turning serious. "They didn't say anything, did they?"

"Uh…no. They didn't." Cloud had made sure of that, and I was even more wary about the situation than before.

"You're not lying to protect them, are you?" He raised an eyebrow in question.

I scoffed. "Please. Do you honestly think I would pass up the chance to let Riku or Zack get what's coming to them?"

"Good point." That blinding grin lit up his face again, and I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go, never wanting to leave. "There's something I want to tell you, and I wanted you to hear it from me first." I could hear the excitement in his voice, but there was something hidden behind it that terrified me. I stiffened as soon as the words left his mouth, and either Axel had chosen to remain completely oblivious, or I was putting on one hell of an act.

"Cloud and I are invited to spring training next year." My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe, or see, or feel, and thought for sure I might drop dead right there. It was like I was like I was in the middle of some horrible nightmare I couldn't wake up from because it was my reality. "Which is pretty much a guarantee that we'll make the big league team."

Axel just kept on rambling, taking that tiny, little hope I'd been desperately clinging onto, throwing it to the floor until it shattered in a million pieces, and then proceeded to grind those fragments under his feet until there was absolutely nothing left.

And I hated him for it. He wasn't there to make things better; he was only there to destroy them even further. He had come into my life to raise me up, to make me believe, and trust, and feel, only so he could watch me fall in the end. Because I was falling fast, about to hit rock bottom, and Axel wasn't even going to be around to catch me. I hated him for forcing his way into my life and messing up the careful order I'd constructed, for pulling me out of a rut that sucked but would have never left me so torn apart – because if I never let myself feel, I'd never get hurt. But most of all, I despised myself for allowing it to happen in the first place.

"No." A whisper was all I could manage as I pushed Axel away forcefully. I felt an all too familiar anger rising up in my chest as I watched him stumble backwards, hoping he'd fall to the floor and break his stupid face.

"Yes, it's true." He was still smiling, despite the fact that I'd just shoved him clear across the hall. And I couldn't understand why it was suddenly like he didn't know me at all.

"No!" My screaming caught his attention, and the smile died instantly as he finally understood. But it didn't matter anymore, the damage had been done. "You can't go," I said firmly. "You just can't."

"Roxas…" I knew what was coming when he said my name. It was the way he said it, the hesitation in his tone that only pissed me off even more. I didn't want his stupid pity, I just wanted him to shut up because I knew what he was going to say, and I didn't want to hear it... I couldn't. He was going to leave. He was going to Luca to live out his dream as a huge baseball star, and I was going to be left behind in shitty Twilight Town to rot.

"Don't leave me," I pleaded, voice wavering despite myself. Somewhere in the back of my mind, beyond all the anger and pain and desperation, I knew I was asking too much, because I had always been such a selfish bastard. And who the hell was I? Just some messed up kid that was never going to amount to anything, who'd probably only hold him back and make his life miserable. Axel didn't need me. He was too good for someone as screwed up as I was – he always had been. But, _God,_ did I need him. "Please." I managed to breathe out, in a final attempt.

He sighed. "Roxas, this is-"

"Shut up, Axel!" My voice echoed throughout the hall, shrill and so obviously full of the pain I was trying to keep hidden. "Just, please, shut up."

I just wanted him to stop talking, because as long as he never got to say what I knew was coming then none of it was true. If we just pretended like the summer was never going to end and nothing was going to change, then maybe…maybe it wouldn't.

"Roxas, you know I don't want to leave you," Axel spoke up again, taking a few tentative steps closer. I didn't feel like I could keep standing under my own strength anymore, so I rested back up against the wall again and swallowed the lump in my throat, doing whatever it took to keep my eyes off of Axel, to pretend like he wasn't talking anymore. "But this is my dream. I…I can't give it up."

That was it, hearing those words – that rejection – out loud was all it took for my rage to take over completely. "You're a liar." I laughed a bit hysterically. "This isn't– Baseball was never _your_ dream. It was your father's. You're only doing this for _him_." I knew I was crossing a line, doing something I'd regret when my anger was gone and I came crashing down. But, in that moment, it didn't matter. What did I have left? No brother, no friends because they would probably all hate me after what I'd done, and a life full of illusions that were coming undone. Might as well let Axel hate me, too, since he was going to leave, anyway.

"Well, guess what, Axel? Your dad is dead, and he's never coming back." The sadness I saw in Axel's eyes was almost enough to make me take back everything I'd said. But I was just too far gone, too consumed in anger and pain to stop. "All you're trying to do is a please a ghost. And it's _never_ going to work." I sucked in a shuddering breath once I was done tearing down the one person I thought would always be there for me, and I watched as hatred replaced the sorrow in his eyes.

"That was low, Roxas. Even for you." I'd never heard Axel's voice filled with so much malice, and the fact that it was all for me was almost enough to break me down completely. "You can't handle change. I get that. Life is too hard for you," he said condescendingly. "But that doesn't mean you get to bring everyone else down with you. It doesn't mean that everyone should have to rearrange their whole entire lives, just so you can feel alright. No one is going to coddle you just so poor, little Roxas doesn't ever have to face the sometimes harsh realities of life."

I knew he didn't mean what he was saying, that he was only doing it to hurt me as much as I'd hurt him, but that didn't make it sting any less. And the worst part of it all, the thing that killed me the most, was that every single word he spoke was the truth.

"I like you, Roxas. I care about you and have always tried my best to make you feel ok, to make you feel like you were worth something, that you were worth more than the misery you surrounded yourself with. But the world is only yours for the taking if you're willing to try, and I can only do so much if you're not willing to help yourself. So, you can go ahead and throw everything about my past and my father back in my face if that makes life easier for you. But it doesn't change the fact that once it's all said and done, once you realize that you've pushed away everyone who ever gave a damn about you, that you are going to be completely alone." The words sliced through my heart like a knife, and all I could do for a few seconds was stand there and watch Axel walk away.

"Go to hell!" I shouted, as some last ditch attempt to wound him like he'd just done to me, but it was weak and lacking any conviction at all, because I didn't really mean it. What I really meant was, "I'm sorry." What I actually wanted to scream was, "I didn't mean it, please come back!" But it wouldn't have done a bit of good, anyway, because Axel didn't acknowledge me in the slightest – not a look back or even a flinch. He was done with me, and I was the one to blame. I was the one who always took everything good, every bright spot in my life, and turned it all to shit.

With Axel gone and no one left to turn to, I didn't know what to do, where to go, how to press on, so I just ran. I sprinted back through the halls of that stadium, through memories and harsh realities, past the concession stand where I barely heard the calls of Riku and Zack, and out into the dreary, dark streets of my city. I just kept going and running and racing as fast as I could manage. And when I felt like I might collapse, like I had nothing left to keep me moving, I just thought of the way Axel had looked at me with so much disgust when he spit those words out, and I found enough energy to keep going, as far as possible away from that ballpark. And I didn't stop until it was completely out of sight.

I slowed down considerably after that, making my way down the sidewalk like some kind of zombie. The whole way back home, I contemplated just stepping out onto the street and letting a car plow me over, putting an end to everything, so I never had to feel anything again. But, as was usual for Twilight Town so late at night, there were no cars in sight. And somewhere behind all the blinding pain, I was thankful for that.

When I finally made it into my apartment, after fumbling with the keys and taking forever to unlock the door because my eyes were so blurry from the tears threatening to spill, I just collapsed – right there in the entryway. I slid down the length of the door and hugged my knees up against my chest, slamming my head back against the door and wondering how I had let things get so out of hand, how I had gone so far only to be sent reeling back into a reality I hated. It was too much to take, so for the first time in years, I let myself cry.

* * *

The ringing of my cell phone woke me up, and it took me a minute to realize why, exactly, I was lying on the floor in my entryway at 1 o'clock in the morning. I didn't have the slightest clue who would be calling me so late, but I felt my heart pound in my chest when I considered that maybe it was Axel and pulled the phone from my pocket, bringing it to my ear without checking to see who it was first.

"Roxas?" It wasn't Axel.

"Cloud?" I croaked out, my voice still messed up from all the screaming and crying I'd done. "Why are you calling me so late?" Cloud was never one to do things out of the ordinary like that, and I just hoped he wasn't going to bring up Axel and all that had happened. Anything but that.

"Look, I don't want you to worry or anything, ok?" he paused, and his words had the complete opposite effect on me because I felt my hands start to tremble. "I'm at the hospital," he said, slowly, and I felt a sense of dread sweeping back in. "There's been an accident. Everyone is fine, but I'm still coming to pick you up."

"Who?" I asked softly, not really wanting to hear the answer, not even sure I could handle it.

There was a clear hesitance from Cloud before he finally broke the silence. "Your brother."

And my world tilted on its axis. The phone dropped from my hands, and I couldn't even bring myself to pick it back up and tell Cloud goodbye. The only thing I could do was sit there on that cold tile floor and force myself to keep breathing. So the accident wasn't that bad, or so Cloud had said, but it could have been. Sora could have died, and I never would have gotten a chance to set things right. That was the thought that finally allowed me to pull myself together. Because even if my future looked bleak from where I was standing, even if I was never truly happy ever again, my brother needed me. And I had to let him know that I needed him, too.

I was waiting outside on the sidewalk in front of my apartment complex when Cloud pulled up 15 minutes later. When I slipped into the passenger's seat, I was relieved to find that he was alone. I liked Riku and Zack, I really did, but Cloud understood boundaries. He knew when things were better left unsaid, and questions were better left unasked, unlike his teammates, and that's what I needed at that moment.

Cloud left me to my thoughts the whole way there, but once we walked through the glass doors of the hospital and began to make our way through the endless white halls that only made me feel sicker, he explained everything. Sora had been driving Kairi and Riku home from his apartment after they were done packing, when a pick-up truck pulled out in front of them, causing a collision. The guy in the other car was drunk, and Cloud didn't even have to say how lucky we were that everything hadn't turned out much worse. Apparently, my brother only had a broken arm, Kairi suffered some minor neck injuries, and Riku was able to escape with just a few scratches, which I joked was probably a relief to a narcissist like him.

I was led through the hospital quickly, and during our elevator ride to the third floor, Cloud informed me exactly what room Sora was staying in so once the doors opened again, I could just take off. As soon as I walked out, I noticed my whole group of friends, crowded in the corner of the waiting room. Zack, Demyx, Zexion, Naminé, even Tifa, Tidus, and Yuna were there, as well. It wasn't until I walked a little further into the room that I noticed the familiar head of red, spiked hair, and I just kinda froze. Axel was sitting right the in the waiting room, in the _hospital_, and I couldn't believe it.

"Roxas," Zack shot up out of his seat once he noticed me and started walking over. That's when Axel finally lifted his gaze from the floor. He looked right at me, and I felt like crying again. I almost wanted to go over and say something – to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, to ask why he was at the hospital, to tell him I really was proud of him for all he'd accomplished. But then I felt Cloud's hands on my back as he nudged me forward, and I remembered, all at once, the real reason I was there. Sora.

"Roxas has somewhere he needs to be right now," Cloud said, and Zack frowned. "You'll have plenty of time to annoy him later." I turned back around to see a rare, genuine smile on Cloud's face as he waved me off, and, for the first time in what felt like forever, I smiled back – because maybe I wasn't as alone as I'd thought – then spun around and headed for my brother's room.

105. The numbers glared down at me, as intimidating and scary as plastic numbers on a hospital room door could be. I grabbed the doorknob tightly, steeling myself, because beyond that thin piece of wood was my brother. And I was scared, terrified that maybe my apology would be too late, that maybe he was truly done with me, just like Axel.

I slowly twisted the knob, finding the courage to open the door just a crack, listening to the low groaning sound it made, until I couldn't stand it anymore and finally just shoved the thing open completely.

I found myself staring into a shocked pair of blue eyes that I'd missed so terribly. Sora was sitting the edge of the bed, left arm in a cast and couple small bandages on his cheek. Even though I'd known he was fine, to see it with my own eyes such a relief, and I just lost it. As if I had no control over my actions, I lunged across the floor and wrapped my arms around my brother, careful not to hurt his arm in the process. And for the second time that day, the tears flowed freely.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, trying not to let my voice give away how much of a complete mess I felt like. "I'm just so… sorry."

I immediately felt a pair of arms wrapping around me, hands rubbing small, soothing circles on my back. Sora didn't say anything in response, but then again, he didn't really have to.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, me crying like a big baby and Sora comforting me in his time of need, until the doctor came in and said he was free to go home. He would have to come back in a couple days to get his permanent cast, but other than that, things were fine. When the two of us walked back out into the waiting room, I noticed Kairi and Riku had joined the rest of the group. The girl had a brace around her neck, and the Tigers' catcher looked pretty much unscathed, minus a few scattered bandages on his arms and face.

I searched around the room a bit frantically, hoping in vain that Axel had stuck around, but his chair was empty and he was gone. I don't know why I'd expected him to stay, to be there when I got back when I was the one who had screwed things up so badly, but it bothered me just the same. And maybe it always would.

That night, I insisted on staying at my brother's house in case he needed anything. And though there were no celebration dinners or late night TV marathons to speak of, I knew things would be ok between us again. I would make sure of it.

* * *

The next few days were like a time warp, a complete and utter sense of déjà vu. It was like I'd gone straight back to the beginning of the summer, before Axel, when the Tigers were just a bunch of strangers, back when I hated my job, my co-workers and the ball park in general. Sora and Kairi were talking to me again, but interactions with my friends on the team were few and far between. That was expected, what with Axel and I not speaking to each other. There was a sort of division amongst our group, and I went out of my way to keep it that way because I just couldn't stomach the thought of being around them when nothing was going to last, anyway. The summer would soon come to an end, Cloud and Axel would leave for Luca, and I'd probably just drift away from Riku and Zack once I wasn't forced to be at the stadium everyday, so why not just deal with it right away, face the pain of letting go head on instead of stringing it out?

The day after the car accident, Kairi and Sora were absent at work, of course, so Demyx had been called upon to help me man the concession stand. The game passed by quickly, and I had hardly even paid attention, finding it just too hard to watch. By the end, the groans and curses sounding out from the kitchen made it obvious that the Tigers had lost. And though I tried not to give a care, I really did.

The Tigers had to play the next two playoff games in Radiant Garden, so that meant no work and nothing to do but spend all my time curled up on Sora's couch, watching television for hours and only moving when I had to go to the bathroom or actually felt like eating for once. My brother, even with his broken arm, couldn't be held back. During those three off days he was constantly on the go, all bright and bubbly and ready to face the world with a huge smile. He and Kairi constantly encouraged me to tag along, but I just didn't feel like it. The last thing I wanted to do was spend my time outside and around people.

I came to the conclusion on the fourth day of staying at Sora's that I never should have insisted on doing so, because the boxes and suitcases lined up next to the door were just constant reminders of everything I was trying to forget. I longed to be back in my crappy, old apartment, but Sora was leaving soon, and our relationship was just starting to mend itself. I couldn't ruin that by leaving.

That last week felt like it dragged on forever, but when the last day of the season, of the summer, finally arrived, it seemed as if nothing had ever gone by faster. The Tigers had only managed to salvage a single game during their time in Radiant Garden at the Bulls' stadium, so both teams were tied at 2 games a piece when they returned to Twilight Town to determine the winner.

Everything had been going so well for the Tigers before they left, before I had the fight with Axel, and it had seemed like the play-offs would be a steal for them. But then things got turned upside down. The whole team just seemed drained of all the life it once had, Axel being the worst, and I couldn't help but feel like maybe it was all my fault. I just felt like if they lost, it would all be on my shoulders, and so I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter, that the team and its players were no concern of mine anymore, and once the night was over, I'd probably never see them again. It didn't work, but I pretended like it did

Walking into the stadium that evening felt so much like every other normal work day that it was hard to convince myself it was the last time – the final time I'd walk into that concession stand and sit behind the counter with my brother and Kairi, dealing with annoying customers. The last time I'd hear Xigbar cracking jokes from the kitchen. The last time Zexion would walk through the stands in that oversized tiger costume. The very last time Cloud and Axel would play on that field.

As soon as I came into view, my brother eyed me strangely and tried to subtly whisper into Kairi's ear, but Sora was never anything but obvious, so I caught on right away. Once I made it through the side door and grabbed my apron off the hook, I saw the creepy smile on Kairi's face and noticed that she and my brother, who never passed up a chance to interrupt the silence with crazy babbling, were unusually quiet. It wasn't until I sat down on my stool that Sora cleared his throat and finally spoke up.

"So…" He trailed off, poking me in the side when I didn't bother to pay him any mind. I knew better than to fall right into the hands of an obviously scheming brother and his equally crazy sidekick. "The party is tonight-"

"I'm not going," I interrupted, placing my cap on my head and pretending like I didn't care one tiny bit about that dumb celebration. Besides, as long as I didn't show up, there were no worries of me ruining yet another party.

"Ok, that's fine," Sora replied, shrugging and turning his attention to the TV screen that was showing the line-ups and defensive positions. And it was easy – almost too easy – to convince him. After a few seconds, I saw him turn back to me out of the corner of my eye, and I waited for it. "But you can at least come with us to the clubhouse after the game, right?"

"Nope. I can't." I was steering clear of any potentially awkward or painful situations, sticking to my plans of leaving right after the game and never looking back. I didn't care what Sora had up his sleeve. He could count me out.

"So you're not even going to say goodbye to your friends?" He leaned across the counter, pouting in my face.

"That's right."

"That's lame, Roxas, even for you."

I felt guilty. I really did, because Cloud, Zack and Riku had done nothing but accept me for the way I was and want to be my friends. And there I was, basically telling them to go screw themselves. I reluctantly faced my brother and was met with his trademark puppy dog eyes. I knew then, that I was going to give in, no matter how much I didn't want to. After all we'd been through, I didn't want to disappoint Sora again. I just hoped I wasn't about to walk into something I couldn't handle.

I sighed in defeat, and Sora perked up at once "When you say 'go to the clubhouse', how long are we talking?" I asked.

"Good, you're going to go willingly." Sora let out a breath of relief and wiped at his forehead dramatically. "I thought we were going to have to use physical force to get you there." He paused, glancing over at Kairi, who I knew would have no qualms using that insane strength of hers and throwing my over her shoulder, or something equally as terrifying. "And we would have too."

"I didn't say I was going." I had to stop myself from smiling.

"Oh, stop being so difficult." Kairi laughed and threw a plastic spoon in my direction. "You just have to stay a couple minutes, tops."

I stared at her and my brother carefully for a few minutes. "I know you guys are up to something," I said. "And I'm probably going to regret this."

They laughed a little manically, but never bothered to say anything else, and I didn't have time to pry for anymore information because the fans were starting to flood into the stadium, and we were about to have a million pre-game orders. We were busier that night than the previous 2 play-off games, leaving us with very little time to stop and watch the game, and foiling my plans to try and get _something_ out of Sora.

The only time we really got a break was once the game was over, when everyone was leaving disappointed. The Tigers had lost the final game, and the Radiant Garden Bulls were the Minor League champions. It sucked, and no matter how I tried to tell myself otherwise, I felt bad for the guys, because I knew how hard they'd worked. I'd been there pretty much every step of the way, and if the title of champion was given out to the team that had always given nothing less than 100% effort, the Tigers would have won.

In a way, though, the loss seemed to be a fitting end to the summer – a summer that, like the Tigers' season, had started out so promising, only for reality to step in and snatch it all away, in the end.

Kairi and Sora expressed their disappointment briefly, but their plans, evil or otherwise, were not going to be thwarted, and they proceeded to each grab a hold of my arms and start leading me to the clubhouse. As much as I may have wanted to, I didn't even try to resist. Not that I had much of a choice in the matter, anyway, what with the way Kairi had my wrist in a freaking vice grip. I was pretty much at her and my brother's mercy.

The closer we got to the clubhouse, the more anxious I became. I didn't really know what kind of reaction was waiting for me once I got there, but I couldn't see it being anything more than displeasure. And I didn't want to add to the already disappointing play-off loss. I mean, just knowing that Riku and Zack were probably moping around instead of causing mass annoyance was bad enough without actually having to see it. Then there was the fact that I had been trying, pretty much in vain, to forget the summer had ever happened, and one small meeting was probably going to ruin all my efforts.

When the clubhouse door came into view, I caught sight of a few people standing around outside –Demyx, Zexion, Cloud and Zack, to be exact. And much to my immediate surprise, the two Tigers' players didn't look the least bit upset. In fact, Zack was probably wearing the biggest smile I'd ever seen on him – and that's saying something. As soon as they took notice of my arrival, everyone turned around to stare, and I braced myself for what I was about to hear.

"Hey, Roxas," Cloud greeted me with a smile, as if nothing had ever happened and I hadn't been intentionally ignoring him for the whole week. "It's nice to see you again."

"_Very_ nice to see you, actually," Zack said, grinning slyly, and I was a bit taken aback by the friendly reactions.

Hey, guys," I greeted, tentatively, dipping my head in shame and staring down at my old, raggedy shoes. "Sorry about the game." When I was met with silence, I looked up to see Cloud and Zack both giving me curious glances. "I mean, it sucks that you guys lost. Aren't you upset about it?"

Zack scoffed. "Uh…no?"

"Why would we be?" Cloud asked, like it was the weirdest question they could be asked after just dropping game 5 of the play-offs. "It's not like we've ever made it this far before. We did our best, and it may be cheesy, but that's really all that matters."

"Exactly," Zack added, and it was kind of laughable how I'd taken the loss a lot harder than the guys who'd actually played. Had I always been such a damn pessimist? "Next year is ours!" He paused and looked to Cloud. "Well, for those of us who aren't moving on to bigger and better things and leaving the rest of us behind…"

I was instantly reminded of Axel, and I got the urge to turn and leave before anyone actually brought him up. But Kairi and Sora's death grips were still firm around my wrists, and I wasn't going anywhere until they said so.

"I heard you're not going to the party tonight," Zexion said after the silence took over.

I looked at him in surprise. "How did you kno-"

"Anyways…" My brother intervened and shot a few nervous glances at the rest of the group, making it completely obvious that, not only did he and Kairi have something planned, but everyone standing outside that door was in on it, as well. "We're supposed to be in the clubhouse, right?" He laughed nervously and made this weird jerking motion with his head in the direction of the door.

"That is correct!" Zack's eyes lit up, mischief clear on his face, as he walked over and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Kairi and Sora finally relented their holds on me, and the third baseman steered me towards the door. "We're definitely supposed to be in the clubhouse."

"You guys are acting really strange right now," I said, allowing Zack to shove me towards the clubhouse and closer to what would probably be my death. "And I mean stranger than usual…" Zack pulled me to sudden a stop, letting a sinister grin break out on his lips, and I turned back around, ready to fight back and demand answers. "What, exactly, is going on he-"

But I didn't get a chance to finish because Sora, my sweet, innocent brother, leaned forward and pushed me backwards through the door that had been conveniently opened by Demyx – the traitor. I landed flat on my ass and caught a glimpse of 6 equally frightening smirks before the door slammed shut.

I scrambled to my feet a few seconds later and grabbed a hold of the handle, trying to open the door to no avail. No matter how many times I twisted the knob, or pushed, or pulled, it just wouldn't budge.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" I shouted out, pounding against the surface with my fists, only to be answered by the sound of quiet snickers and giggles. "What are you even trying to prove with this, locking me in an empty room? This is stupid, you know that? You guys are totally and completely stupid!" I tried turning the knob again, hoping maybe one of them had a grown a heart and decided to let me out, but no. No, they didn't. They were evil, evil people, and I frowned as I slapped a hand against the door in a last ditch attempt.

"You guys are dead when I get out of here, you hear me?" No response. "You don't even want to know what I have planned for you."

My threat fell on deaf ears, and I was just about to give up when I heard another door open. I cursed myself for not even bothering to check the door on the other side of the room, but before I even had the chance to think about making a desperate, flying leap to freedom, I heard a shout of protest and spun around to see Axel being forced into the room by a certain silver-haired catcher.

"Have fun," Riku sang out as annoyingly as possible then slammed the door shut, locking Axel and I in the same room together. I always knew he was a bastard.

Axel took to recklessly twisting and pulling on the knob, stopping momentarily to pound his fists against the door, just as I had moments earlier. He looked like and idiot, and I was just glad no one had been around to see me freaking out in that way. My mind told me to just stand there and wait for him to turn around and discover for himself the position his sad excuse for friends had just thrust him into, but my heart won out in the end.

"Don't bother," I said, so softly I wasn't sure he'd be able to hear over the racket he was making. But, all at once, he froze. "They won't answer." He slumped forward, resting his head up against the door. "They planned this whole thing. I really should have seen it coming." I don't know why I kept talking. Axel wasn't even acknowledging that I was there, and it seemed rather pointless, but I just couldn't stop. Because as long as I was rambling on and on, that meant I wasn't breaking down, and there was no way I was going to cry in front of him. "First my own brother cons me into coming here when I refused to go to the party, then Zack is acting all creepy, which is normal for him, but it was the way he was acting creepy…" I trailed off to catch my breath. "And then there was, Kairi. She was-"

"Shut up, Roxas."

And I did.

Axel had broken his silence, and I didn't know what to do. I was literally trapped in a room with no way out and a guy who had every reason to hate my guts.

"I love you."

Or not.

"What…?" It was all I could manage, because the whole situation had to be a dream, a cruel joke of some sort. There was no way Axel was standing in front of me, confessing his feelings after all that had happened. Things like that didn't happen in my world – silly plans carried out by stupid, yet loveable idiots never worked out in real life. When I screwed things up, they stayed that way for good, and people as amazing as Axel never actually loved people like me.

I watched Axel's back rise and fall as he sucked in a deep breath, and then he finally turned around to look at me, green eyes full emotion. And I didn't know if I'd ever be able to breathe again.

"I love you," he said it again slower, voice soft.

I had to sit, so I made my way over to one of the sofas in the middle of the floor and plopped down before my legs decided to give out. And I tried to say something, I really did, but every time I opened my mouth to speak, words evaded me. So I just sat there, looking and feeling stupid.

"Sorry for just springing that on you." Axel's low, rumbling laughter was like music to my ears. "I shouldn't have said those things to you." I heard his footsteps growing closer. "You know, when we last talked, or fought. I just wanted to piss you off because when you brought up my… my dad…" He trailed off, obviously trying to hide the pain that subject brought along with it. And if it was possible, I felt even guiltier. "It hurt to have it thrown back in my face like that. But it only hurt as much as it did because it was you who was saying it."

"I love baseball, Roxas. Regardless of whose idea it was for me to start playing. Finally making it to the Major Leagues is a dream come true for me. And, until I met you, there was never anything I wanted more." I felt the cushion underneath me dip as he sat down. "But I'd still be playing the game, even if I was meant to stay here in this stadium for the rest of my career. That's how much I love it. It gives me something to look forward to everyday, and I've met some pretty special and amazing people because of it." He nudged my shoulder, and I looked up to see him smiling down at me. "People like you." And I wanted to smile back, but I just felt like shit.

"I'm selfish." I was finally able to find my voice. Funny how easy it was to speak when I felt the need to put myself down. "I'm sorry for saying all those mean things to you - about your father. And I'm even sorrier for trying to hold you back from your dream. I'm a horrible person, Axel. I'm just…I'm broken, and I can't be fixed. You deserve so much better than me."

"There is no one better, Roxas." Axel was quick to speak up again. "It blows my mind that you can't see what a truly amazing person you are." I smiled weakly. "Listen." He grabbed a hold of my shoulders and turned me around to face him. I had a hard time looking him in the eyes after all that had been said, but I forced myself, anyway. "You're important to me, ok? And I never thought, for one moment, that my leaving for Luca would be the end of what we had together."

He was trying to make me feel better, and even though I didn't feel as hopeless as before, I still hated myself for making such a mess of things in the first place. If I had just listened to what Axel had to say… if I would have just tried to listen to people, to my heart, before flying off the handle, it could have prevented a lot of heartache for everyone.

"Just because things are changing, doesn't mean everything is over." And there was that reassurance I'd been looking for. "It's just the start of something new, a brand new beginning full of awesome new experiences. And I'll be right there beside you through it all, Roxas. You can count on that. And so will your brother." It was amazing how Axel had the ability to make me feel at ease with life with only a few small words. "Cloud'll be around too. And you better prepare yourself, because you're not going to get rid of Riku and Zack that easily. I should know."

I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped as Axel took hold of my hand. "Stop worrying so much," he said, squeezing it gently. "Things are going to happen the way they do, no matter how much you try and stop them or hide yourself away, so you just gotta relax and go with it." He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "And when things do get tough, just remember that I love you."

"I…" I wanted to say it back, but I just couldn't. I'd never said those words, or even thought of saying them, to anyone in my entire life. And I'd certainly never felt the emotion behind them, like I did when I was with Axel, so it was a pretty big deal.

"We have a party to get to, don't we?" Axel asked with a smile as he rose up from the couch and pulled me along with him. I smiled back at him, knowing he understood what I couldn't bring myself to admit. "Don't want to ruin another one." I punched him in the shoulder as we walked toward the exit.

"I guess we should thank them once we get out there, huh?" I said, and Axel scoffed. "After all, their sneaky and underhanded ways did make this possible."

"Nah," Axel said, a sly grin set on is lips. "I say we make 'em suffer for a bit." We both shared a laugh as he squeezed me closer and knocked on the door.

It opened immediately, revealing a beaming Zack. "So, did you two kiss and make up? Did ya? Huh? Did my fabulous, infallible plan do the trick?"

"Hey, it's not like it was only your idea," Riku cut in. "Stop hogging all the glory."

"You guys are going to pay for this," Axel threatened coolly, trying to suppress a smile as he pulled me through the crowd still gathered around the door.

"But just look at what we did for you guys!" Zack hollered after us, running to catch up.

"Yea!" Sora piped up, and I heard another set of rapid footsteps behind us. "You guys are so stubborn, you would have never done this on your own."

"This is the thanks we get for being so selfless," Riku said from a distance, amusement clear in his voice. "See if I ever do anything for you idiots ever again.

"You're an idiot, as well, Riku." Cloud replied, and I couldn't help but laugh at the way things had gone back to normal. "Don't insult your own kind."

That's when I stopped moving, right in the middle of the hallway. Axel turned back to stare at me curiously, and everyone else went silent. I knew what I needed to do, what I wanted to do, and I _had_ to do it there, in the place that had changed my life in so many ways. I took a deep breath and steeled my nerves.

"I love you too, Axel." I said it, and, damn, did it feel good. Axel smiled widely and wrapped his arms back around me as we started to move forward again. Riku and Zack had taken to cheering and whistling and being generally obnoxious while Cloud proceeded to tell them to shut up, and I had never felt more at home.

I wrapped my arms around Axel as we continued down the halls, refusing to let go, refusing to let anything go. Because I was going to miss everything – sitting behind that counter day in and day out, my brother being around all the time to lend a helping hand, hanging out with Riku, Cloud, and Zack every evening, the big, dysfunctional family we'd all become over the past few months. Hell, I was even going to miss Kairi's crazy ass. But I knew that as long as I held onto those memories, they'd never be very far.

I walked past the tiny concession stand that night with a heavy heart, and leaving the stadium for the final time, at least as an employee, left me feeling oddly empty inside, yet full of more love, happiness and hope than I could have ever imagined.

Sometimes, I think it was just pure luck that brought us all together that summer, but there's a part of me that likes to believe it was fate – that everything happened the way it did for a reason, that each seemingly small event and detail was important in bringing everything together. From Sora and I having to ask our father for a job, all the way up to Axel leaving at the end of the summer. It was supposed to turn out exactly as it did, and I became a better person because of it.

I learned a lot that summer, a lot more than I ever expected – we all did. And sure, there were quite a few struggles and obstacles to overcome, but we did it together, and it only made the ending that much sweeter.

I'm not sure exactly what the future holds for me, or how it'll all turn out in the end – and maybe I don't even want to know. But one thing I do know is that, even if I never step foot in the Twilight Town Tigers' baseball stadium again, a part of me will always be there, sitting behind that counter and grumbling at the customers, and in my heart, that summer will never end.

* * *

**I put a lot of time and effort over the past couple of months into revising/ rewriting this story for a quite a few reasons. It's sort of like my baby - the first story I ever completed, the first one I put out there for the world to read. It means a lot to me, not only because it combines 2 things I love dearly (Kingdom Hearts & baseball), but because I put a lot of myself into it, especially Roxas' character. And I was tired of looking/thinking back on it and feeling like I could have done better.  
**

**I know it still isn't perfect, and since I'm never completely satisfied with my writing, I'll probably look back over this one day and find a few things I want to fix, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. **

**The main thing I wanted to show with this story was change. I like to write stories that have a meaning, that have depth and show growth and progress, all wrapped up with a few morals or lessons. Which, yea, might be sort of cheesy and corny at times, but what's life without a good cliché every now and then? I tried to keep things true to life, as possible, and I wanted to make the characters and situations genuine and relatable, so hopefully I accomplished that.**

**I want to thank each one of you for the reviews, favorites, and even just taking the time to sit down and read this – especially this story. It always puts a smile on my face.**


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